The consensus is that partaking of the pleasures associated with the adult industry is something you should keep quiet about. Not only is your personal and professional reputation on the line, but so is your provider’s. But, discretion runs deeper than just keeping your mouth shut about your adventures. It involves a much more intense awareness that many of your actions could cause unwanted attention or disapproval. Be sure to follow these suggestions as you frolic in the adult entertainment industry:
- Be discreet with your technology. Any time that you use your computer, mobile phone or other device to book an appointment with an adult entertainment provider you produce a risk for getting caught. Maybe, you don’t care if the people around you know that you’ve booked a stripper for your night away on a business trip. But, if you are trying to keep the fact that you’ve scheduled a private webcam show under wraps, you need to be careful with how you conceal your efforts. If you’re on a computer, consider switching to the private browsing feature. All browsers have a method to search the internet without the sites or terms you’ve used showing up in the history. Or, change the profile that you do your “business” with. Most computers have a way to change the user. Ideally, don’t share a computer with others. Get your own netbook for your adult activities so nobody accidentally stumbles upon your favorite sites. Phone users should protect their devices with a strong password, and avoid getting text messages or phone calls about your appointments. There are apps that will funnel your extra-curricular communications to a hidden area — download your favorite and utilize it. Finally, do not conduct your fun on a company-owned device or using employer-provided Wi-Fi. Getting caught using your boss’s equipment will get you in big trouble.
- Deal in cash. Most in-person providers only accept cash, anyways, so it won’t be a problem . But, most internet services that provide webcam shows DO take credit/debit cards. When you utilize a credit card for adult transactions, you are providing a paper trail that can lead anyone interested back to you. Your spouse, family members or work colleagues can find out what you’ve been spending money on. Instead of using your personal or business credit/debit cards, purchase and use pre-paid debit cards . Additionally, if you use ATMs to get cash for your “fun,” be sure to get money from your regular ATMs. Getting cash from an ATM out of your “normal” loop will draw attention to your whereabouts and may require an explanation. (For instance, if you frequently visit a gentleman’s club, do not access your checking account at their ATM. Get money ahead of time at the bank branch.)
- Never invite providers to your home or business. If you live with others, have children who visit regularly or are married/committed, it’s always a risk to invite a provider to your house. Accidents happen, and a provider may unintentionally leave something behind, or her security guard may take something with him. Try explaining a rogue earring in your bed to your wife! Also, when you invite a provider into your home, it’s possible that someone will arrive home, unexpectedly, and catch you red-handed . And, even if you don’t get caught by your spouse or family members, your neighbors may wonder who the hottie is that came to your home when everyone else was away. Don’t put yourself in a position to get caught this easily. AND: inviting a provider to your home or business also provides her with a LOT of information about you. If she is the type to stalk or blackmail you, you’ve given her an ample amount of information to use against you.
- Don’t overshare. Much like inviting a provider to your home, giving a provider too many details about your private life can give them enough information about you to use against you. While you’d like to think that all adult entertainment providers are honest and upstanding, there are some who do not have good intentions. They will use the information you share with them to steal from you or blackmail you. They may become disillusioned with your “relationship” and try to insert themselves into your life, becoming a stalker. When you tell intimate details about yourself, you give a provider plenty of fuel to really cause you trouble. As they screen you, to ensure that you’re not a safety threat to them, they learn basic information about you. That’s enough to give them details they can use against you. But, when you provide them with even more intimate information about your life, you are inviting intrusions into your private life. Unless you develop a long-standing relationship with your provider, stick to a “need to know” basis when sharing about your life.
- Providers want discretion, too. Even though you may think that your efforts at discretion are only to protect your own reputation and relationships, your actions also protect the reputation and relationships of your provider. They may be providing adult entertainment under the radar, keeping their careers secret from their family members, employers or friends. Even if their closest loved ones know that they work in the adult industry, the people in their communities may not. When you share pictures of your provider with others or boast about your experiences, it’s possible that you are going to “out” them in your community. As you develop the urge to brag about your escapades, consider what your conversation might do to your provider. Will it cause her family stigma? Will it cause her to lose her day job? Will it cause her to ban you, because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut?
- Follow your provider’s directions. Your adult entertainment provider has established several guidelines that will help protect your own secrets, along with hers. If she asks you to park down the street when coming to her place , do it. (Parking too close to her house could cause her neighbors to talk. Or, after 6 p.m, a no-parking zone goes into effect that might cause your car to get towed from in front of her house.) If she says she will contact you via a private message, do not call her repeatedly. When she asks you to pay in cash, don’t offer up PayPal. It’s fine to ask her questions and make suggestions regarding communication, meeting locations, etc. But, if your provider informs you that your recommendations do not fit her needs for privacy, don’t be offended: she most likely has a good reason for things to be arranged the way they are. She most likely has more experience. She is accustomed to working in the business. Trust her knowledge and instincts.
- Don’t do anything to draw attention to yourself. When you are meeting up with an adult entertainment provider, you want to fly under the radar. Gaining the attention of a hotel concierge or manager may be a very detrimental thing, especially if you’re trying to book a party or any other activity that might be frowned upon by hotel policies. Don’t cause trouble. Don’t ask too many questions. Don’t request special privileges/discounts/amenities. Arrive quietly. Pay promptly. If you’re visiting with a provider at her residence or place of business, do not be loud as you arrive. Follow directions. Make certain that you have the correct location as you ring the doorbell. Don’t litter. Don’t cause a scene with the neighbors or passers-by. When you attract extra attention, you risk both you and your provider’s privacy. Do your best to be as inconspicuous as possible. Be boring and unmemorable. For those who love being the center of attention, this is difficult, but this is part of the game.
- Don’t share details with friends. When you book an appointment with a provider and settle on the services that will be included , that information is for only you and her. What happens during a private webcam show or a private exotic dance is strictly confidential. She depends on you to keep your mouth zipped about what you and she shared. From the things you talked about to what she did to make you feel incredible, it’s all only for you and your memories. Why? A couple of reasons: 1) Your provider may have made an exception with you and allowed you special privileges during the experience. For example, your escort may have indulged you in a sub/dom experience, complete with spanking. But, she may not like to provide this kind of an adventure for the majority of her clients. When you blab about it to others, she is put in a difficult position. And, 2) She doesn’t want anyone to compare their experiences with her to yours. Each client is different and every encounter/appointment will include different things. There is no need to “kiss and tell,” so to speak.
- Never tag or mention a provider on social media networks. Not only will you be outing yourself to the world , but you’re also telling everyone about her confidential career. Avoid connecting with your escort, favorite dancer or other performer, unless you want the world (and your family members, friends and co-workers) to know that you patronize the adult industry. As much as it’s sad to say, there is a huge stigma surrounding adult entertainment. Avoid admitting that you enjoy partaking of such entertainment, unless you are ready to face the judgment that comes along with it. Additionally, networking with your favorite adult services provider may show a link between the two of you, if your spouse or significant other is suspicious of you. Act as though you don’t know your provider online socially, unless you’re looking to get caught.
- You don’t need to take home any souvenirs. While it may be fun to swipe your escort’s bra or to score your favorite dancer’s g-string, the problem is what are you going to do with it afterward? If you’re married, your spouse isn’t going to be too thrilled to find another woman’s lingerie hiding in your glove compartment of your car. Other items are just as risky when you take them home. Anything new and different will be questioned and a dead giveaway that you’re up to something suspicious. Even a business card or a slip of paper with a phone number will cause you problems when discovered by others. The best souvenir is your memory of the experience with your provider. You can reminisce about the way your provider made you feel and what you enjoyed about the time with her.
- Be on time and always scheduled. Popping in on your favorite escort at her incall, unannounced, is not acceptable. But, in addition to it being unacceptable, it’s also a privacy concern. What if she’s in the middle of another encounter? Not only are you risking your own anonymity, but you are infringing on the other client’s, too. When you get there too early, you may run into a client as he leaves. And, if you stay too long, you may still be there when the next client arrives… risking both your and his privacy. Dancers and webcam performers also want you to be on time as scheduled… it helps them ensure that they keep their clients separate and enjoying the time promised to them.
- Respect a provider’s wish for privacy. Don’t insist on trying to pry a lot of information out of her. She will probably be pretty quiet about herself, because she doesn’t want to overshare or give away too many details about herself. Avoid asking her personal questions about her real identity, family members, education, where she lives, etc. If she wants you to know, she’ll tell you. But, when you inquire (especially repeatedly) it becomes threatening to her anonymity. Conversation to get to know one another is reasonable. But, trying to pry into her life isn’t ok. If she shuts your questions down, follow her lead and back off.
Maintaining a high level of discretion is essential to any relationship you develop with an adult entertainment provider. Pay attention to what you’re doing and you’ll be ok. But, if you let down your guard or fail to recognize that cavalier behavior may have consequences, you’re risking your reputation… along with hers.