14 basic incall etiquette rules for clients

While there are numerous rules for how to behave during the booking process and during the actual encounter, few “rules” are ever officially addressed about how a client should conduct himself when he goes to an escort’s incall for some fun. Escorts really do see it all — from the bad to the good. Some report that clients’ have left their bathrooms flooded, floors dirty and furniture broken. When an escort puts her trust in you to come to her working incall for an encounter, you should make a concerted effort to leave it the way you found it and exercise common courtesy that will encourage her to invite you back.

Use these tips to be on your best behavior:

  1. Be on good bathroom duty. Your escort doesn’t expect you to wipe down the walls of the shower after you use it. But, she does hope you’ll mop up any puddles you leave standing on the floor, hang up your towels, clear off the counter (leaving it like you found it) and make sure that you flush the toilet when you use it. Escorts know that taking a quick shower can be a little messy, but it doesn’t mean that you have to leave the bathroom in an total disaster. Make sure the shower curtain is tucked into the tub or enclosure to reduce the amount of water that spills out. Don’t use the shampoo or shower gel excessively — and, if you can tell that a certain bottle is hers, use the more masculine version she’s put in a convenient location. Avoid the urge to use her bathroom for a bowel movement, unless it’s just absolutely necessary. And, if you must, please spray the bathroom air freshener to help deodorize the room. As you walk out of the bathroom, look back at it for a second and make sure that it looks acceptable — and, not like it’s a wet warzone.
  2. Dispose of your used condom properly. After you’ve completed the intimate portion of your encounter, don’t just rip it off and leave it on your escort’s nice comforter or quilt. Most of the time, an escort will be ready for you and offer a trash can or tell you where she wants it disposed of. But, if you beat her to the punch, don’t just assume you can throw it any old place you choose. If you think that removing the condom and tossing it on the floor, next to the bed, is a satisfactory option, think again. As she makes up the bed for the next client, the last thing an escort wants to find with her foot is your used condom. If your escort doesn’t prompt you as to where you can dispose the condom, ask her. Some escorts will simply direct you to the bathroom, where you should toss it in the trash can (not the toilet). Some septic and sewer systems will plug up with the flushing of condoms.
  3. Pick up your trash. If accidentally drop slips of paper, use a tissue or tear open the condom wrapper, make sure that you find these things and throw them in the trash. Your escort is not your mother and she shouldn’t be responsible for picking up after you. If you wipe your nose with a tissue, throw it away. She doesn’t want to handle your snotty tissue. Some clients find it an opportune time to get rid of any other trash in their pockets when they’re at an incall. But, instead of throwing the discarded items away, they simply lay them on a convenient table. If it’s trash, put it in the garbage. The same goes for food wrappers or soda pop cans you drink or eat from while you’re at your escort’s incall. Get rid of them when you’re done with them, instead of expecting your escort to be your maid.
  4. Enter your escort’s incall with clean shoes. This may sound like a given, but it’s a lot more commonly forgotten than one might assume. Finding that a client has left a muddy trail to her bedroom doesn’t make an escort adore a client at all. While it may happen without you knowing it, it’s still frustrating to her when she has to clean her carpets to get rid of your muddy footprints. Even if it wasn’t mud, it can still cause her to vacuum when she wasn’t planning on it, to get rid of dirt that fell out of the tread of your shoes. When you enter, check to make sure that your shoes are clean. Or, better yet, just take them off as you arrive. You won’t need your shoes on for the encounter, unless you’re planning a quick getaway.
  5. Eat neatly. Some escorts offer their clients snacks or food before, during or after intimacy. If you do enjoy a snack with her, attempt to keep your crumbs to a minimum and do not smear your dirty fingers on her or your furniture. If you suspect that you can’t eat an offered treat neatly, decline the offer. Unless you’re there for an extended period, an encounter is usually a short enough time frame that you won’t starve during without a bite to eat. And, one of the most important things to remember, don’t eat in her bed. (And, if you do, be EXTREMELY careful.) She doesn’t want cookie or cracker crumbs in her bed to try to clean out of the covers and off the mattress. She also doesn’t want food dripped on her comforter. Most escorts launder their sheets between clients, but the comforter typically stays on the bed, as long as it’s not stained. If you drop food all over her comforter, she’s got the extra task of taking the comforter to the cleaners or Laundromat.
  6. Watch your wine. Most escorts find that a glass of wine helps to loosen up a client prior to the intimate portion of the encounter. However, if she offers red wine, be extremely careful with it. You don’t want her to be focused on cleaning up your spill on her light-colored carpet, instead of determined to give you a good time. Also, don’t get so excited for some “fun” that you get clumsy and tip over your wine as you’re leaning in for a kiss or getting a little more physical. Additionally, rolling over onto a discarded wine glass can be painful (and hard to clean up) if it breaks. All in all, have your glass of wine, and discard the glasses safely on a table a fair distance from where the action is going to take place. Most of the time, an escort will see to this, but if she doesn’t, make sure you’re steering clear of the wine and glasses, yourself.
  7. Offer to help straighten up afterward. If your encounter got pretty physical and you moved from the couch to the bed to the shower and back to the bed, for example, several parts of her incall may be in disarray. If you finish up with a few minutes to spare, offer to help her put everything back as it was. She will be delighted to have the help and it’s one more way to bond with your escort. It’s a great way to help her out, and it’s also an excellent method of letting her know that a rambunctious encounter won’t leave her having to spiff up alone. The next time you arrive, she may be willing to allow the encounter to encompass several parts of her incall.
  8. During messier encounters, pay attention to your escort’s attempts at cleanliness. Anal intercourse (and other forms of play), water and hard sports, sploshing and other kinkier entertainment may be naturally very messy. But, your experienced escort has figured out the best ways to provide opportunities for this fun, with as little work to clean it up as possible. Even if you think it would be more fun another way, try things using her method. Odds are, she is trying to avoid a huge mess or permanent stains to her carpets, towels, clothing or other items. Also, she is probably attempting to contain the mess, so she only has to clean up one area. Attempt to engage in the activity and enjoy it, but be conscious of the mess you are making at the same time. If you can enjoy your activity in a neater manner, try to do so.
  9. Arrive to your escort’s incall clean. No escort wants to stink up her incall with a sweaty, smelly client. Nor, does she want you tainting her clean sheets, sofa or furniture. Pay attention to your bodily hygiene and offer to take a shower if you must arrive in an unclean state. If you just went to the gym before coming to her incall, fit in a shower before heading out. If you are employed in a physically demanding job, bring a clean set of clothes and ask to use her shower upon your arrival. Keep in mind that grease or dirt on your clothing easily rubs off onto her clothing, furniture and linens. She doesn’t appreciate you messing up her stuff carelessly. If it happens repeatedly, you may find yourself uninvited from her incall.
  10. Overstaying your welcome is a no-no in incall etiquette. Your escort carefully books encounters based on the time she needs between clients. She calculates how long it takes her to re-ready her incall and take a shower for the next client. When you don’t abide by the schedule, lingering longer than your slated encounter time period, it puts your escort at a distinct disadvantage at preparing for future clients. She will have to hurry and cut corners to get ready, which could leave her in a position where her next client is critical of the state of her incall or her appearance. Not only are you causing her to rush around, but you may be impacting her reputation. She won’t forgive a client for causing her to get a bad review or rating during another encounter. Avoid this issue fully by just leaving when it’s your time to go. When your escort points out that your session is over, pack up and exit quietly and gratefully.
  11. Don’t draw attention to yourself during your arrival or departure. The last thing that an escort needs to do is defend her reputation or tie up loose ends after you’ve interacted excessively with her neighbors. Clients who act disrespectfully, are loud and disruptive or defy an escort’s requests for discretion may be banned from incall encounters permanently. Damaging her ability to blend into her neighborhood is uncalled for. Arriving in a suspicious manner, failing to follow instructions (about where to park, which entrance to use, etc.) and just being a jerk may cause her tremendous troubles with others in the area. Cleaning up these issues may get you wiped from her client list.
  12. Making yourself too much at home is detrimental to your encounter. Any client who roams around an escort’s incall, exploring every nook and cranny, is going to be asked to leave or never asked to return. While her incall is open to you, it doesn’t mean that you should nose around her place. Rearranging her furniture or nick-nacks is not what you’re at her incall for. And, messing with her electronics to set the bass or treble where you think it sounds best is counterproductive to her tastes. Her incall is a place for you to temporarily get comfortable in while you enjoy the benefits of your escort’s companionship. But, that doesn’t mean you need to take over the place as your own. Leave things alone and just enjoy her company.
  13. Misplacing things in her incall won’t win you any brownie points. Picking up the television remote and absentmindedly putting it down in an inconvenient location (the bathroom, for example) will infuriate her as she looks for it after you’re gone. Keep your hands off of her phone, keys, purse or other personal items. And, avoid moving other things around in her incall. If you do use the remote or move other items, let her know where you’ve put them. If she has to contact you after you’ve left to discover that you moved her car keys, she’s going to be mad.
  14. Don’t break her furniture. While you may think that her incall is an “anything goes” place for you to act out our wildest fantasies, that does not mean breaking her bed, kitchen table or favorite chair. If you suspect that you’re too heavy to sit in a particular location, find an alternative seat. If you think that the bed is creaking too much with your energetic intimacy, slow things down and move them to a sturdier location (like the floor). Pay attention to her belongings and attempt to take care of them.