How to be a dream client for your escort?

I’ve been asked a number of times throughout my career as an escort who my favourite customer has been and I’ve never been able to answer the question with just one name, because to narrow it down to one gentleman is impossible.

Of course, I had a number of favourites. They were absolute sweethearts and I would always look forward to their appointments. When their phone numbers would pop up on my phone I would be genuinely excited to hear from them. Why were they favoured by me, you ask?

There were a few simple reasons and some of these reasons might not seem so obvious to those outside of the escort business.

First of all, they were respectful of my time and would give me a great deal of warning before our appointment. Most of my good customers gave me at least a day’s notice, while a few would book me a full week or two in advance. One man would call me and book our appointments months in advance, but he was an out-of-towner, so that wasn’t the norm. Booking so far in advance may seem like overkill, but to me it was such a relief to know that next Tuesday I was going to see Eric at 2pm and Rob was pencilled in for Saturday night at 10pm. Last minute bookings were always irritating.

Another thing that I always appreciated was when they kept it short and sweet. Sometimes clients would call me up just to chat and it was hard to usher them off the phone, especially if they were someone I genuinely liked. It’s a bit awkward to be on the phone for twenty minutes with a client while you’re just trying to do dishes or get the laundry sorted, trying to be the sexy escort version of yourself. When someone called to book a date with me I’d always try to keep the conversation and small talk to a minimum. We’re definitely going to get some small talk and banter going during our date so let’s not ruin that by updating each other on our lives over the phone.

Some customers might not like to hear this next one, but I’m going to say it anyways. Every escort appreciates gifts, yet if you decide to take it upon yourself to pick out a gift for her, there is a good chance that your lady will not like it. I don’t mean to be rude by saying that, but most of the time when I was given gifts by customers I would never use them. I’d typically stick them in the back of my closet with a post it note on it with the customers name scribbled on to remind myself of who had given it to me in case I ever managed to forget. Once in a while I’d show up to their appointment in the outfit that they had bought me and I’d always make sure to mention how much I loved it. Yes, I was blatantly lying, but lies are a part of the game. Would you really want to hear your favourite lady telling you that she hates the colour yellow and will never ever wear the baby doll you bought her?

Now the gifts that I really appreciated were the ones that were bought off a gift registry or during a shopping spree where I was told to buy something I wanted. Not knowing what to buy a girl is every man’s problem but it has a simple remedy… ask her. Gift certificates were also very much appreciated. You can straight up ask your escort (or girlfriend or wife) what she wants but if she’s indecisive, ask her to make a gift registry so you can randomly choose some items from it.

A gift registry takes the mystery out of it and you can rest assured that you’re buying your girl something she will enjoy and most importantly, use. Most escorts either already have gift registries or would be happy to make one if asked. I have a closet full of lingerie and outfits from customers that I will never wear again but I also have certain items that I love and use on a regular basis. If you’re thinking of buying something for any woman, not just an escort, think to yourself “Do I know without a shadow of a doubt that she will love this?” If the answer is anything but “Hell yes” then don’t buy it. Every girl wants to be showered with gifts, but there’s nothing worse then receiving a gift you don’t like, especially when you know that gift cost someone a small fortune. I’m not saying you have to buy your escorts expensive gifts or lingerie but if you buy her something that she wants, she will repay you one way or another.

My favourite clients practiced good hygiene. No escort wants to tell you to clean up, it’s a conversation no one wants to have. We make sure we are nice and clean for our appointment, so respect that and make sure the same can be said of you. One of my favourite clients had a problem with body odor that genuinely wasn’t his fault so not all of my favourites smelled like roses. He was understanding of his off putting smell and made a point to discuss it with me once we had got to know each other better. He wasn’t sure if he should try to overcompensate for the smell by dousing himself in cologne or if showering beforehand was good enough. For me I didn’t want to be suffocating in a cloud of perfume so I told him that as long as he showered right before our appointments I was fine with it. I now realize that not everyone can control their body odor, but most people can so don’t be inconsiderate. If you can’t shower prior to the appointment, realize that you should shower as soon as you arrive.

One of the best things about any good client is that they know when their time is up and they just leave. If they are still raring to go, ready for round two, or hoping for some cuddle time they will ask you if you have another appointment and if your schedule is open, they will book another half hour or hour with you. Sometimes I’d offer my favourite regulars some extra time at no charge, but that’s up to me to decide, not them. As much as clients might want to believe that I’m their girlfriend or willing mistress, the truth is they are paying me for my time and that has to be respected. Good customers are respectful and punctual. They show up on time and leave once the time is up. Consistent good behaviour such as this will get you bonus points with any escort.

The good ones don’t pry. They may ask me how my day was and how things are going in my life but they don’t start asking me personal questions or questions that are uncomfortable to answer. If I had a nickle for every time someone asked me something like “Am I your first customer of the day?” or “How many customers have you seen today?” I would have an annoying amount of nickles.

Don’t do that, don’t be that guy. No escort wants to tell you that she was just fucking someone else an hour ago. We don’t want to have to admit that and honestly, you don’t want to know that, so all you’re asking her to do is lie to you. Let your escort guide the conversation.

If you’re asking too many personal questions it should be obvious. She’ll clam up and start to look uncomfortable. She’ll be trying to lead the conversation in another direction. No one wants to tell you where they live or what school they go to. Stalkers are a real and dangerous threat in this business, so the less you know about us the better. That’s not to say that I never gave out personal information, I did. But it wasn’t information that could be used to identify me. Oh- one more thing. Your escort is not going to add you to her personal Facebook account so don’t even ask.

And don’t keep asking us what our real name is. When we’re with you we are doing our absolute best to be the perfect partner for you, we are sex and lust personified. Our escort name goes hand in hand with that alter ego. Having someone repeatedly ask you what your real name is is not only frustrating and annoying, but it also takes us out of the moment.

I don’t want to be thinking about my regular life where I have bills and drama and family problems. I want to be the sex kitten that you desire and if you’re asking inappropriately personal questions, you’re taking me out of the fantasy and forcing me back into boring old real life.

If you want your escort to be in the moment be considerate of the fact that asking her stuff she clearly won’t want to answer is just going to make her uncomfortable and is going to make her enjoy your appointment less.

About the author

Having successfully helped a friend run her business as an escort in Vancouver BC, Sarah advanced to consulting escort agencies.