Humans love being seen with an attractive, nicely dressed, engaging partner on their arm at social and business events. A pretty cohort enhances their confidence and is a powerful status indicator. There is a reason why male billionaires are often seen with super models and big name actresses – with bimboys.
by Hannah Jay
For an escort, the arm candy end of her business presents opportunities, challenges and a change of pace from the standard escort encounter. It is a well paid, hassle free way to spend an evening but an escort has to recognize how to play the role.
Working as a companion at a social or business function means, regardless of what the rest of the evening holds, making sure that you are an adornment to your client. You don’t have to be a super model to make this happen – after all, it is unlikely your client is going to be a billionaire. But you do have to make sure you shine without stealing the show. It is a delicate balance.
Arm candy escort encounters are usually arranged in much the same way as a regular escorting date. A client finds you via an ad or a referral and calls or emails to book your time. Which means, at the outset, you need to be able to give an idea of what your time will cost for the evening.
There are a lot of ways to price social companionship. One is to simply quote a flat rate for the evening and leave it at that. A couple of thousand dollars may not be too much for an hour or two of small talk and a happy ending. Another way is to price the social element separately from the intimate time although this can be a bit difficult to explain in a manner which is consistent with the law. Either way, having a number in mind will make the conversation much easier.
However, along with your fees for the evening you may have your client provide the costs of your outfit. If you’re going to the White House for dinner, it is reasonable to expect your client to buy your gown, shoes and clutch. Corporate cocktails pretty much require a little black dress and some sexy pumps. All of which cost money. If your client is particularly well-heeled, you may be in for the full package; gown, hair, makeup, and nails before the big night out.
Of course, before an escort can dress for an occasion she has to know what the occasion is. Clients can be startlingly vague about the nature of the social function they want to bring the escort to. Is it a formal, black tie affair? Or is it resolutely casual like the drinks and dinner following a corporate gold tournament? For the social escort this is critical information as she needs to be able to dress the part. So, the savvy escort, once a prospective client suggests a social component to a date, asks a few questions. And she prefaces those questions with the fact that to do her job well she needs pretty specific answers.
Once the nature of the occasion and what you’re expected to wear, as well as your fees, are settled there is one other critical item of business to be resolved – who are you? Getting the answer to this question right from the very beginning will make your social escorting date go smoothly. Because whether it is a high school reunion or an awards dinner the questions “And what do you do?” and “Have you known Bob long?” are going to come up.
Here, the social context matters a lot for the social escort. People at high school 20th reunions are all about connecting the dots so a clever escort has arranged a solid back story with her client. Where did you meet? How long have you been seeing each other? are questions which need answers.
Those same questions will arise in different ways in a corporate or professional social context but the depth of the curiosity will be lower. Plus, a back story, for example where the escort is in town on business and was invited “spur of the moment” can cover a lot of ground. At the same time, any story risks opening up the whole, “Oh yes, and what business are you in?” can of worms.
No matter what the occasion, you and your social escorting client need to have the basic back story worked out ahead of time. Just simple things, how long you’ve known each other, where you met, what you do for a living, where you live. At the same time, you need to know a little about your client – what he does for a living, if he’s married and – if he is – why his wife is not there, where he lives. This will save a great deal of embarrassment when you say on the one hand you’ve known Bob for years and in the next breath get his hometown wrong.
(One note on all this background preparation for an escort, this is why you are charging for your social company. Arm candy is not all a girl socially escorting a client is, she has to “sell” the idea that her client is her real date otherwise the illusion he is trying to achieve is destroyed.)
So armed with a great back story, a pretty dress and a clear idea of the occasion, an escort is ready to get ready for her date.
Less is more! No, really. Whether it is the White House or Roosevelt Junior High 25th Reunion you will want to be the most elegant woman in the room not the winner of the shortest skirt or best cleavage award for the evening. Nor do you want to have the most elaborate hairstyle or heaviest make up. You are not being paid to draw attention to yourself.
This is particularly true if your companion of the evening is a good deal older than you are. There will already be a certain amount of backchat about Bob’s “Arm Candy” just because of the age difference. The way to stop that more or less dead is to be every inch a lady.
This translates to inter alia pretty but fairly practical heels, a perfect manicure, clean glossy hair and a real smile. It also extends to perfect manners and a fair bit of social poise. We’ll get to a few manners moves in a moment, but social poise for escorts is a subtle art.
The most basic element of poise is consideration for others: your date, his friends and acquaintances, your host and hostess and the wait and other staff. Simply speaking clearly and politely is a great start. But an escort in a social situation can go well beyond this. Pay attention to the other women at the gathering. Chances are that the men are already paying attention to you. Simple compliments on the lines of “What a lovely dress.” or “You have to tell me where you got that bag?” go a long way to making a great first impression. A bit of deference to age never hurts either. And looking for opportunities to be helpful can work wonders.
As a social escort one of your functions is to reflect well on your date. Which means drinking very moderately if at all, avoiding off colour jokes and, I’m afraid, laughing at the usually dreadful jokes which are a staple of conversation at these sorts of things. And yes, you probably will have to look at the iPhone full of pictures of other people’s kids. Keep smiling.
Most of all, you are there to make your date look great. To that end, it is a good idea to find out why he is going to the particular function. What does he want to get out of it. As a social escort you may be able to help him. If you know he wants to meet a particular person at a business “do” you might go and make the acquaintance yourself and then introduce your date. On a more expressly social occasion like a wedding or reunion, your role is more likely to be “girlfriend”. The same rules apply about chatting to women but, at a wedding, you can score easy points by making sure to spend time with the older and much older women in the room. Have a little fun kidding your date about his not wanting to brag about his accomplishments – and then dig in and do brag a little for him.
Manners, as opposed to poise, are more a matter of knowing what to do in a particular situation and executing it flawlessly. Plus, as a social escort, you need to be able to adapt to situations where there are no hard and fast rules.
Investing a little time with an etiquette book – Liv Tyler’s Modern Manners: Tools to Take You to the Top is great and contemporary and the venerable Emily Post’s Etiquette: Manners for a New World is deeply comprehensive – will give you the lay of the land and can be helpful in every aspect of your escorting career. Plus, etiquette books are great fun to read if only to regret how many pleasing customs have fallen into disuse – my most lamented being the personal or visiting card.
As a practical matter here are five tips which will see you through:
- At the dinner table mimic your hostess or the senior lady at the table – no need to memorize the difference between a fish and butter knife – just watch the choices made by your hostess.
- Ladies first, Age before Beauty. Period. Whether it is going through a door, going to your table or to the dance floor the lady is always in the lead and the older lady takes precedence.
- In conversation, agree with what is being said and never, ever, interrupt.
- Please and thank you and excuse me along with the wonderful word “may’ will refine even the roughest diamond. “Please may I have” always beats “Give me”.
- You are the least important person in the room – you aren’t, but if you behave as if you are, you will be unfailingly polite.
There are all manner of elaborate rituals when people get together but they all essentially come down to a way for people to get along. From the introductory handshake in the reception line to the parting “Thank you so much for a lovely evening,” the social escort need only imitate the people around her to be accepted and enjoyed. Manners themselves are almost entirely based on social rank and reciprocity. As a newcomer, and as a social escort you will always be a newcomer, you will begin at the lowest point on the totem pole; with a bit of poise and grace, by the end of the evening, people will be asking your date where he found such a delightful woman. With luck he won’t tell them.
It is astonishing how many wives and girlfriends seem to want to be anywhere but with their husbands or boyfriends at social occasions. Even when they are together with their SO their eyes are darting around the room looking for alternatives and they make their lack of interest in what their date is saying painfully obvious. Part of this is, one suspects, that they have heard all the stories several times before.
As a social escort you’re being paid to pay attention. Not cloying over the top attention, rather the sort of attention which a man enjoys from a pretty girl. During the course of your evening, while you can and should chat with other people, you need to be “checking in” with your client regularly. A glance across a dinner table or a light hand on your date’s arm lets him know you are there with him and it signals to his colleagues or classmates or relatives that yes, this gorgeous girl is with him.
Escorting is about fantasy and illusion: doing social escorting well means that the client has a wonderful time with an attractive woman and the question of whether she is a paid companion never arises.
What does arise is that the social escort’s client ends up having a wonderful time. He is the center of a delightful woman’s evening and he knows, at the end of the evening, she’ll be saying yes to more intimate activities.
Too Good to Be True?
The Arm Candy date is a delightful change of pace for most escorts. Wearing pretty clothes and spending social time while being paid sounds too good to be true. Which it is unless an escort makes it part of her escort marketing plan.
Paying attention to the events in your city will give you the advertising opening you need. If there is a tech conference scheduled a month away, it is certainly worthwhile to put up an ad like this:
Going to FractionX? Would you like a beautiful, intelligent woman on your arm? I don’t speak geek but I ask great questions. Available for social events and then, perhaps, a bit of unwinding after a hard day.
By naming the function you are narrowing your target market. Gentlemen who are coming into town for the event and may have thought of hiring an escort will realize they could indeed combine business with pleasure.
Make sure your social escorting is a feature on your website. Have a few pictures in a delicious little black dress and, if your city runs to this, an evening dress. Setting up a separate page on your website just for the social escorting side of your business makes a lot of sense.
Referrals are, of course, ideal but they are sometimes hard to come by as a straight out escort. As a social escort, however, even with a happy ending, your clients may well be delighted to tell their friends about the wonderful time they had in your city. Having a business card with your escorting name and contact details is always a very good idea.
Another excellent potential source of referrals are your own regulars. Not for themselves but rather for their out of town clients and business associates. Having the number of a delightful, well mannered, fabulous looking girl they can refer their business associates to is a feather in their cap. And, in some cases where an escort’s regular wants to land a contract, he might well pay her fees to entertain his out of town guest with no mention of her paid companion status.
Finally, building up a referral network of escorts in other cities may bring you social escorting clients. Take a look for girls you think are offering services similar to the services you offer and send them an email. A good escort referral network will get you dates and will let you recommend girls to your favorite clients when they are out on the road.
In all your social escort marketing efforts it is important to have a consistent message. Words like beautiful and glamorous are great, but so are words like articulate, polite, graceful and friendly. Because, while your social escorting clients will certainly want you to look wonderful on their arm, they want to be sure that you are the sort of girl who they will be proud to show off.
Building up a social escorting business takes time and a fair investment in promotion. It may take a few months to pay off but, as you market your social escorting services, you’ll begin to create a brand separate from your straight escorting service which, in turn, will allow you to charge top dollar for what are highly entertaining dates.