10 crazy things that escorts don’t expect to happen

It is often said that fact is stranger than fiction, and escorts can attest to that because of what they’ve seen and experienced through working in the industry. Oddball antics, off-the-wall requests and ridiculous comments are commonplace for an escort as she works with clients to book them for encounters. Her communications with clients run the gamut from funny to disheartening, but she continues to move forward, usually thinking that nothing can surprise her in her work.

Even though many escorts have seen it all, they haven’t

When escorts congregate online together in a forum environment, they all vent about unpredictable experiences they’ve had with clients and how they dealt with them. Fortunately, many escorts haven’t had some of these outlandish experiences… and hope they never will. But, it’s always possible. Consider these crazy situations that can actually happen to an escort as she sees clients:

  1. You know your client from another aspect of your life. Many escorts book clients and get the feeling that they recognize them from somewhere. That’s bad enough, but when you actually see a client face-to-face and you realize that you know them well…or used to, it’s a completely different matter. Urban legends tell of the young escorts who end up being called to encounters with their fathers, or their best friend’s father. Stranger things can happen. It’s not uncommon for an escort to run into someone she knows well, especially if she runs in wealthy circles consisting of powerful men. Sometimes, the blast from the past may be an old boyfriend, classmate, childhood neighbor, previous professor or teacher. Other escorts run into colleagues from their old jobs and industries. The situation can be incredibly awkward, depending on the relationship you have with the individual. The best way to handle this is to be mature about it, instead of running away like you’re tempted to. You and your client can laugh at it, as the joke is really on both of you, and then determine what to do. If you are uncomfortable engaging in intimate acts with this client, agree to refund his money and make a pact to pretend it never happened. However, the two of you may feel like you already know each others’ secrets, so you might as well have some fun together, electing to move forward with the encounter. This situation shouldn’t happen often, because your screening efforts should alert you that you know your client.
  2. Hooking up with the wrong client can be a problem. In the movies, blind dates sometimes fail to meet up, because one of them runs into someone else he or she thinks is their date. Escorts can run into this problem, too, if they establish a public meeting place (such as a bar) as the location to join up with their clients. It’s easy to spot a man who resembles the physical description given to you by a client, mistaking him for your scheduled booking. Other times, an escort may receive a call from a client, book an encounter with him, only to learn when they meet face to face that he had originally intended to call a different escort. He doesn’t realize this, though, until he sees the escort in person, noticing she doesn’t look like the escort he wanted to see. Mistaken identity can be a problem, and you just have to go with it. That’s why it’s important to verify that your client is actually YOUR client. You can establish a code word ahead of time or simply refer to something you and he talked about prior to meeting up. If your client doesn’t seem to have a clue concerning what you’re talking about, you’ve likely got the wrong guy.
  3. The wife shows up, instead of your client, to an encounter. Happening to more than one escort, a jealous wife may arrive to face the escort she feels has ruined her marriage. When she discovered that her husband was cheating on her and seeing an escort, she hacked into his phone/email/etc. and found out when he was supposed to meet her. An escort can be caught completely off guard by such a confrontation, when the wife shows up in place of her husband. Depending on the wife, the situation may go many different ways. From violence to extreme drama, the wife is likely to react somewhat unpredictably. The best thing that an escort can do is to leave as quickly as possible. If this happens to you, remember that it’s really none of your business, and it’s certainly not your place to get involved in a fight between your client and his wife. It’s wise to be sympathetic, but you should refuse to answer questions and avoid lying to her. When she inquires about things, always redirect her to ask her husband. The best thing you can do is to get out of there fast. The longer you spend there, the more chances you risk at getting tied up in a conversation or fight with her.
  4. Clients bringing their wives along for a “surprise” threesome or for her to simply watch as a voyeur. Some clients don’t realize that they should warn an escort that they want a threesome consisting of her, him and his wife. And, unfortunately, most of the time, it’s as much of a surprise for the wife as it is for the escort. As an escort, you need to know this in order to prepare ahead of time. You may need additional lube and condoms, in addition to setting up your incall differently. (You also charge different rates for threesomes, which your client should be prepared to pay.) Additionally, it can be an awkward situation, especially if the wife isn’t inclined to be excited about the situation. You could be involved in a major knock-down, drag-out fight between the client and his wife, with you also as part of the target of her anger. However, some wives are happy to go along with the endeavor, finding it sexually adventurous and exciting. If everyone is okay with the situation, quickly discuss your rates and get on with the fun.
  5. Setting up a buddy is the real intention of a client, instead of an encounter for himself. When you notice two men at on your doorstep, instead of just one, it can be startling. But, when you discover that your client has brought his buddy along…so he can experience the pleasures of an encounter with you, the situation becomes more complicated. You may worry about this “buddy,” because you didn’t get a chance to screen him, which is a requirement for all clients. The willingness of the “buddy” may be an issue, too, because he might not be interested in engaging your services for an hour or two. The subject of payment needs to be addressed, because you must be paid by one of them for your time with either of them. Also, depending on the age of the “buddy,” you may be concerned about legal implications. (If the “buddy” is underage, you could be breaking the law.) If a client shows up with a hair-brained scenario like this, your best bet is to take him to the side and inform him that your encounters don’t operate this way. Ask him to take his friend home and suggest that if the friend wants an encounter, he can call you himself. In the future, it would be wise to confirm that it is the client, himself, who is booking time with you.
  6. Falling in love is unlikely, but possible. Escorts function under the premise that all activities they engage in with clients are part of a very strict business arrangement. The relationship between escorts and clients may be friendly and feature fondness and affection, but it should never include emotions that seem more intense. If an escort begins to feel attached to a client, she should take efforts to change how she feels or refer the client to another escort. However, despite an escort and client’s best efforts, there are some ill-fated, true stories of real romance resulting from love-at-first-sight encounters. When this happens, it’s often very challenging to make a relationship work. Often, the client is involved in a relationship with someone else. And, the escort is in a profession where she is intimate (daily) with many other men. Neither situation lend themselves very well to a successful match up. Often, it can be the thrill of an illicit passion that draws a client and an escort together. But, if the passion lasts, a genuine relationship may be possible. Escorts should always be careful and enter into such relationships with their eyes open. Although the best advice is to usually avoid personal involvement, you have to trust your heart ultimately.
  7. Clients may fall ill during an encounter. From coming down with the flu while in the middle of intimate activities to having heart attacks while with an escort, clients can have the most inopportune timing for getting sick. Escorts have shared tales of being vomited on by flu-sickened clients and having to call 911 for clients who need the paramedics. While you may hope and pray that it never happens to you, if you escort long enough, you are bound to run into a client who may need to leave early due to feeling sick. Your clients are the types who push themselves hard, refusing to slow down for the sniffles or anything else more serious. They have deadlines, projects and other duties that have to be completed. But, when they are with you, they sort of let their guards down, which is when sickness is most apt to hit them. Try to be sympathetic to a client who has a bad cold and get immediate medical attention for a client who is seriously ill or injured. Don’t worry about discretion if the life of your client is in your hands. He trusts you, so it’s your responsibility to make sure he has adequate care.
  8. Clients want to screen you. Just like you’ve heard terrible stories about things that happen to unsuspecting escorts when they go to encounters, your client has read about dramatic tales of men who met their fates or were robbed when seeing an escort. As a result, he wants to make sure that you are who you say you are. In truth, it’s smart for him to do this. It may help him avoid an escort who would steal from him, attempt to commit blackmail or try to injure or kill him. (There are female serial killers.) However, it’s not in your best interest to reveal your real name, address or other information to him so he can screen you. But, you can provide your escort name, refer him to any reviews, suggest he contact an escort friend of yours or ask another client to act as your reference. Encourage him to meet you ahead of time for a soda or coffee, so that he can get a feel for you before going behind closed doors. It may seem odd that a client wants to scrutinize you, but it’s understandable when you consider the potential consequences.
  9. Broken penis is a hazard of an encounter. Everyone has heard about men having rough sex with their partners and breaking their penises. It’s a fact that a penis fracture can occur during aggressive sexual intercourse. It occurs when an erect penis is bent suddenly or forcefully, and it is accompanied by an audible crack. Immediate, dark bruising follows, and urgent medical attention is required. Most of the time, when a client experiences discomfort due to an awkward sexual position, penis fracture is not a concern. But, you must always be aware about how you move when you are atop your client. When switching positions, move slowly and carefully, to avoid any trouble. Most escorts never experience this with a client, but since it is possible, the situation could occur.
  10. Clients leave in the middle of the encounter. Most escorts have difficulties getting a client to leave when the encounter is over, so having one leave early is an entirely new experience for them. Some clients feel so guilty, ashamed or fearful of getting caught that they suddenly begin to get dressed to leave, mid-encounter. When this happens, you can attempt to soothe your client’s concerns. But, often, he is beyond being calmed. The best thing you can do is to compassionately tell him you understand and encourage him to call you when he feels more comfortable about continuing the experience. Avoid blaming yourself. Of course, you should never assume that the reason he leaves is related to you, unless he specifically tells you that he’s displeased with the encounter.