There is no business in existence that will sustain without some level of controversy with its clientele, at some point in time. It’s just a common part of doing business. You’re not always going to agree. When you’re an escort, it’s easy to take these disputes to heart. When you’re giving pieces of yourself and you put everything you have into your performances, it’s hurtful when someone acts displeased with your efforts. Some disputes are worth worrying about, while others shouldn’t stress you out, at all. Consider some common disputes you may run across as you do your thing:
- Rate negotiations. As you establish your rates, you take into consideration your geographical region, services you provide, your level of experience and expertise, the demand for your skills, etc. There are a dozen or more things you take into account as you set your fees. When a client or customer tries to lowball you, it’s insulting. It’s an insinuation that he doesn’t think you are worth your established rate. However, keep in mind that this customer/client may not mean that at all. Most of the time, your customer is just cheap and is hoping for a discount or break. He doesn’t want to spend THAT much money on anyone; it’s not just you. Taking it personally will ruin any chances you have of developing a positive relationship with this client. Disputes over your rate are not worth getting into. It’s best to simply inform your client that your fees are non-negotiable. Don’t entertain him by haggling over the cost or explaining why your rate is what it is. State that you will not come down on your rate, period. Most of the time, your client will come around.
- You don’t look like your pictures. Beautifully awesome professional photos can make or break you in this industry. Of course, you want the best pictures possible of you, so you can attract clients and customers. Your marketing must exhibit a sophisticated, gorgeous performer to the world. But, when you show up for a gig wearing a requested cheerleader uniform, you’re not going to resemble your photos all that much. Of course, you’re going to look the same in a lot of ways, but that airbrushing and professional make up can be deceiving. Your client/customer may have a point in that you don’t look as polished up as in your pictures. But, there’s no doubt that it’s really you. If you choose to water down your photo gallery with fewer professional pictures and more candid shots, you run the risk of not looking as elite. Either way, you’re going to have issues with at least one client who doesn’t think you look like your photos. Unless your pictures are old and you’ve changed a LOT, don’t lose any sleep over this argument.
- The customer isn’t happy with your service. Seriously? Much of the time, this objection arises after the entire encounter or booking is complete. They complain about the entertainment you provided and proceed to nitpick it to pieces. However, they never thought once to say anything about it along the way. They could’ve interrupted you and informed you that they were not happy. Of course, living up to client expectations when you’re an adult services provider is essential. Asking questions and confirming their desires is key. If you don’t do this, you certainly run the risk of having a customer who is unsatisfied with your delivery of services. However, many times, a customer is just trying to get a freebie or a discount on future sessions. He may mention something he says wasn’t up to par, in hopes that he’ll get some of his money refunded. However, there are times that you may not provide the services promised at the level guaranteed. You will know when this happens. But, don’t let a customer convince you that your performance wasn’t up to par, just because he wants to be cheap.
- You get a bad review. It happens. And, sometimes, a client will completely lie about you, right out in the open, on a review site. You could take him on, openly, in the forum. Pointing out his lies and informing the public of the truth. But, depending on the method and tone of communication, your rebuttal could leave a bad taste in readers’ mouths. Leaving the review alone could allow some to think badly of you, marking you off of their “to call” list. However, if this is a lone negative review, you really shouldn’t worry about it. BUT, if this reviewer has the gall to call you back for more business, you have every right to deny him services. Inform him that you did not appreciate his most recent bad review and ask him, directly, why he would want to return to you for entertainment if you were so terrible to warrant criticism. The argument is not really worth bringing out in the public, but it’s certainly worth your time should he attempt to contact you, again. Or, you can just block him from future communication.
- Late arrivals not understanding time constraints of your schedule. It happens too much. Clients and customers do not understand that when they arrive 15 minutes late for a booking, they will lose that 15 minutes with you. They assume that their hour (or whatever time they’ve planned with you) will still continue, despite your scheduled demands. You will have to have the conversation with the client/customer that you have booked a block of time for their entertainment. If they arrive late, it’s not your fault or problem to fix. They will have to accept a shorter amount of time with you, since you have other places to go and clients to see. The same applies for when a dancer shows up for a gig that starts late. Or, if you’re an escort, you will only wait for an hour, even if your client isn’t ready to start when you arrive. Or, if you’re a webcammer, your time starts at the time scheduled, not when the viewer logs in. You will have to address the time issue, unless they are a seasoned client/customer.
- Scheduling, in general, can cause disputes. Unless you have a set schedule that you adhere to religiously, it’s always a huge debacle when trying to set up gigs or encounters. Some clients just can’t meet when you have your hours set. At that point, you can either rearrange your personal/work time to accommodate your client, or you can encourage him to work his demands around your hours. It’s not usually an actual dispute, but it’s definitely worth communicating about. Some clients expect you to drop everything and book with them, at the drop of a hat. For these clients, you will have to explain that you can’t just do that. You have to tell them that you have other bookings and tasks that demand your attention during the times they are wanting you for. If a mutually agreeable time cannot be found, it can leave a negative feeling between both of you.
- Boundary pushing HAS to be curtailed. There are clients who just don’t know how to follow the rules, anywhere — let alone the ones you establish for them. They push your boundaries by trying to eke out extra time, persuading you to perform excluded services, asking for discounts, requesting special privileges and a number of other things. If you give them an inch, they are apt to take a mile. These clients and customers have to be dealt with firmly and clearly. You cannot allow them to push you around or sneak past your rules. These kinds of clients are a hindrance to escorts. If you don’t deal with them in the beginning, they will attempt to talk you into things every time you see them. Set your rules. Stand by them. Remind the client consistently. And, don’t back down. It may cause arguments and dissatisfaction. But, your customer knows, deep down, that he’s asking for more than is acceptable.
- Locations you are asked to perform may not be agreeable to your terms. Before agreeing to any kind of a booking with a customer, you have to ensure that the location is an acceptable one. It has to be safe, private and easily accessible. You shouldn’t worry about getting mugged on the way to a booking with a client. You shouldn’t worry about a customer’s wife walking in during your striptease. And, you shouldn’t have to worry about the cops giving you a ticket for indecent exposure when you dance in his apartment courtyard. If you and your client cannot come to terms on a satisfactory location, there will be an argument, probably. When this occurs, stand by your rules. Remind him of the risks you take. And, require him to come up with a better location. If you arrive to a party or gig and you feel the location is inappropriate — dirty, risky, unsafe or illegal — do not stay! Leave, with or without your fee.
- Tolerating unacceptable behavior has a limit. Every escort has encountered a client who is just obnoxious. Most times, you have to tolerate a big ego, bad breath or other traits that may make a customer generally unappealing. However, when a client lacks general courtesy, manners or pleasantness, you can deny services. As a client’s behavior worsens and his language or actions are threatening, inflammatory, violent or insulting, you do not have to stick around. You can choose to leave or attempt to reason with the customer. It’s up to you. Sometimes, a client will change his tune and back down when approached by a provider. Not always, though. When a client doesn’t seem to be influenced by your dissatisfaction with his behavior, it may be time to bail.
- Your radar goes off. Escorts have instincts that usually spikes when something isn’t right. Dangerous situations, a cop sting or a violent client may tingle these senses. When you just know that something isn’t right, don’t argue with yourself. Leave or cancel the booking. You may not find that it’s beneficial to even argue with a client about this. Wasting time discussing your concerns may leave you without time to get free, if needed. If you feel that you’re on high alert, but cannot put your finger on why, analyze your situation later: it’s better to be wrong and safe than wrong and in trouble. Trust your guts and avoid this client in the future.
It’s difficult, though, to avoid feeling that these disputes are, somehow, your own fault. When you consider the two philosophies we are always taught about doing business, it’s a stretch to figure out which is right:
- Forget “The customer is always right”. Nobody is, we all live and learn. With that said, keep in mind that you have a business to run; that a negative review will be seen by approximately 16 times more readers than a positive one, and proceed accordingly. Do your job honestly, but don’t allow anything you will regret. Find out ahead of time what his expectations are and say “No” right away, if necessary. Otherwise, help him develop realistic hopes for your time with him and do your best to fulfill his desires. For instance, if you’re an escort and your client has erectile dysfunction. His expectations of maintaining an erection during the entire booking are unrealistic. Chances are he won’t be able to finish. You have nothing to do with it. Or if you’re an exotic dancer, and your customer thinks he’s going to get “lucky” with you during a lap dance, he’s off his rocker. And you’re not to blame, again.
- You have the right to be respected. The old “no shoes, no shirt, no service” premise rings true here. If a client cannot respect you enough to coincide with your rules and boundaries, he isn’t a client for you. You deserve to be treated well by the people you do business with. Just because you respect your clients and try to give them the best times of their life, it is not a reason to allow them to walk all over you. Demand respect and courtesy from your clients and customers. If they can’t provide that, it’s worth informing them they will no longer be on your business list of contacts. When they protest, you can explain the issue. But this really isn’t up for argument or discussion. It’s more of a statement on your behalf, at this point.
You’ll run across many disputes with clients and customers when you work in the adult entertainment industry. Knowing how to deal with them ahead of time will save you a lot of time and headache.