Any career can drive you to your wit’s end. You can feel like if you don’t get a day, week or month off you’ll scream, trash your office and move you and your family to a deserted island… if only you had the funds! Being a provider for the adult entertainment industry is no different. Although the job may sound glamorous and the pay is outstanding, there are stresses and hazards to the job that make you want to throw in the towel and go work at the corner gas station. But, you go back the next day or night. And, keep doing your thing. But at some point, you may experience an a-ha moment that tells you that you need a break from your career. You need to pay attention when you realize any of these things are true about yourself:
- You find yourself being rude to customers and clients. As an entertainment provider, your job is to be nice, at all costs. You are supposed to be making people happy and feel good. Not every client or customer is going to be someone you enjoy being around or identify with his personality. When rude or condescending comments come out of our mouth, unfiltered and unintentionally, it’s a huge sign that you’re not up for the challenge. Lacking compassion and empathy, forgetting to be courteous or exhibiting your oblivion to clients are other signs that you’re lacking the proper mindset to be providing services for them. After all, they are paying YOU for your efforts. If you aren’t prepared to give them the best of what you have to offer, then it’s not fair to them. If you can’t even come close to meeting their expectations, it’s a surefire sign you need a break.
- You don’t want to go to work. It’s pretty common to not want to go to work, wherever you call your office. But, when you start dragging in late or not showing up, at all, you may need to call it quits for a bit. Escorts, dancers, webcam performers, actresses and others who aren’t dependable will do not well in the industry. And, it can severely tarnish your reputation, if you continue to miss appointments or show up extremely tardy for them. When you dread going to work each day, you need to find a way to become inspired by your career or you need to take a breather from it. Sometimes, all you need is a brief break to become excited about your activities, again. You may start to miss your clients and desire the excitement that comes with your appointments. Taking some time off may even give you a new outlook and a chance to brainstorm new methods of doing your old job that will create more enthusiasm for your career.
- Your relationships are suffering. All careers can cause strain on relationships. Schedules, overtime and other demands of the job can stress any relationship. But, working in the adult entertainment field can be a huge deal breaker for some. Jealousy, trust and communication can be at risk when you work in the industry and your significant other doesn’t really understand what you do. Or, if you’ve been keeping your career secret, it can cause real issues when you finally come clean with the truth. Others feel betrayed and disappointed. These relationships may need to be repaired, which may mean you to have to distance yourself from the industry for a bit. And, just the hours and schedule of the job may put a wedge between you and the important people in your life, if you cannot seem to find time to be with them. Relationships need maintenance. If all of yours seem to be spiraling out of control or seriously hurting, it’s time to take a break and tend to them.
- You are sick. Pay attention to your body. Being an adult entertainment provider can be extremely taxing on your body. If you’re a dancer, especially, you may reap the benefits of the workouts required of you to keep your body strong, toned and in shape… but, you may suffer from the disadvantages, too. You pull and strain muscles during performances, damage your feet from the high heels and hurt yourself in other ways. Being around clients and customers all of the time may expose you to the worst colds and flu bugs going around. And, if you’re sexually intimate with clients, it’s extremely possible to contract an STD or infection despite your most cautious efforts not to. If you’re sick or injured, you’re not up to par as a service provider. Don’t spread your illness to other clients. Don’t try to keep on performing if you’re hurt — you may injure yourself worse. Give your body time to heal up and get to be 100 percent, again, before you get back in the game.
- You feel mentally or emotionally broken. This kind of work can definitely get to you. Clients can be rude and shaming. Family members may be disappointed in you. Society will be judgmental. You may even be hard on yourself, if this isn’t what was “expected” for you in life. The voices in your head may be saying terrible things about your morals or abilities. When all of it combines, it’s nearly too much to bear. When this happens, you’ll probably need more than just a deep breath to recover. Take some time off. Do things that make you happy. Recoup your self esteem and personal self worth. Without getting your head on straight and your confidence intact, you’re going to struggle in the adult entertainment world. It’s a tough industry and requires you to be mentally and emotionally strong to endure it.
- You find personal issues are getting in the way. A bad divorce. A sick parent/child/spouse. Financial business. A number of personal issues may become priority throughout life. And, sometimes, these things have to take priority over everything else in your world. If you find yourself with your mind consumed with these topics, instead of what to do to please a client or customer within his scheduled visit with you, it may be time to take a break to take care of your personal business. There’s no shame in saying that you have to get your life together. Or, that you have people who need you. Trying to shuffle both work and your personal “stuff” may cause you to not be able to focus on either adequately. In a “normal” career, you’d take time off to tend to things that need your attention. There’s no shame in taking a few days, a week or month off to do what you gotta do as an adult services provider.
- You’ve had a bad experience that you can’t get over. Adult entertainment providers take risks daily through their work. You may have been threatened, assaulted or verbally attacked during a session with a client or customer. One of your customers may have been drunk or high. Whatever the situation was, it was traumatizing to you. Going back to work after an ordeal that leaves you scared or uncomfortable is not ok. You will need to take some time to get over the incident. Repair your soul, ego and comfort zone. Re-establish your confidence. And, make sure you’re “ok.” Until you know that you can accept what happened and have healed from it, going to work is going to be troubling. It’s going to cause you all kinds of stress and anxiety — which creates even more reasons why you need a break from your career. Some providers never recover from threatening incidents. However, if you give yourself some time, the odds are in your favor to make a full recovery.
- You’re extremely unhappy with your club or other employer. While many providers work for themselves, you may collaborate your efforts with a club owner, agency, movie director or webcam facilitator, for instance. When your work is associated with another individual or establishment, the dealings by this other entity directly affect your inspiration and desire to work. For example, if you are an exotic dancer, you may not particularly love the club you work at. A new manager may be changing the expectations of your shift. Or, the atmosphere may be worse than when you started. Or, practices by the security staff may have you alarmed. If you’re an escort working with an agency, the screening methods may not be up to par. Or, they may be taking a larger cut of your rates. Regardless of who you work with, if you’re unhappy with them, it’s going to put a real downer on your career. Take a break, examine the circumstances and determine what you need to do about them.
- Your passion seems to be adrift. Sure, accountants, lawyers and doctors often dream of ditching their careers and following their inner flower children for more care-free professions. It’s common for people to dream about changing careers. But, when you truly lose passion for what you do, it’s time to take a break, in any job. If you’re an adult entertainment provider, but have lost your zeal for it. Take some time away. See if your inspiration returns. Maybe you need to pursue a new dream for awhile. Go back to school. Paint pictures. Check out other career options. When you just aren’t impassioned by your adult services work, anymore, take time off to figure out what does inspire you. Maybe you just need to start a new hobby. It might be that you need to find a new job.
- You just don’t like what you do, anymore. In fact, you hate everything about it. It turns your stomach and makes you ill thinking about it. When you just can’t bear touching another client or dancing for another customer, it’s time to hang up your stilettos. At least, for a bit. As you become disgusted with what you do for your money, don’t continue doing it. Your soul and conscience needs a break. Other professionals have moments like this where they have to analyze what they do and what it means to them. And adult services provider career is not that much different. When you start to despise the very essence of what you do and who you do it for… it’s time to back off. Take advantage of your break by deciding what your profession means to you and how you want to pursue it in the future… if you do.
When you DO take a break, consider this:
- There are some issues with taking time off. If you have a good cover story for your friends and family members, you may need to adjust it to accommodate your break. You may risk the truth being revealed, unless you can come up with good reasons you’re off work. You will lose marketing momentum. If you’re self marketing yourself, taking down your profiles or shutting down communications with clients may make it harder to put yourself back out there when you return to the industry. And, you may tarnish your reputation. When someone disappears from the industry for more than just a couple of days, people talk. They assume you’re gone for good. They start rumors that you cracked up or got addicted to drugs (going to rehab). Or, that you got married!
- You have to prepare financially for taking time off. Unlike other careers where you may have sick leave or vacation time (personal time off), you don’t have anyone paying you when you don’t work. Saving some pennies for this kind of a rainy day is necessary. You may want to get ahead of some bills, paying ahead when you can. And, don’t live over your budget. Just because you make a lot of money in your career, doesn’t mean that your standard of living has to become ridiculously luxurious. Maintaining a normal lifestyle will aid you in your flexibility in the long run.
- Your comeback may be difficult. If you’re taking more than a week or two off, you should realize that a comeback may be challenging. People quickly forget about you in this industry, because there’s always someone there waiting to take your spot. If you’re not available, your clients and customers will find a replacement. Your success depends on regular clients, who may abandon you for who they found during your absence. It may be like starting over, if you’ve been gone for several months. If you’re taking a long leave of absence, it’s a good idea to stay in contact with some of your regulars or with other professionals in the industry who can help you when you return. With all of the other challenges in life, you don’t want to have to face these obstacles when you’re ready to start working, again.
Know that taking a break is not a terrible thing. People will tell you it’s hard to return, and that you’ll lose the success you’ve gained. But, if you aren’t happy and not performing well due to stress/anxiety/etc., you’re not going to be successful either. Taking a break may be just the ticket to success and a prosperous career, after all. You work hard. You do your best. And, you are good to your clients and customers. Taking time for yourself is not looked down upon. It’s called being smart and well-deserved.