Even though many escorts think they are beyond the reach of drama or disaster, there are inevitable truths that you should face if you’re going to be working as an escort. Even though they may not be admissions you want to make, hiding one’s head in the sand never worked for anyone.
It’s important to enter into the industry and your new profession with your eyes open. And, while each of these situations may not apply to you right now, it’s probable that if you work as an escort for the long term, you will experience each of these truths to a degree at some point. Knowing this ahead of time, you can give some forethought to each scenario, preparing you for them if and when they should occur. Consider these inevitabilities:
- People you don’t want to know will eventually find out your secret. Your family members, friends, work colleagues, neighbors, parents of your children’s friends and others may discover the truth about what you do for a living. They may not learn your secret today, next week or in five years; but, it’s a pretty sure bet that they will find out what you’ve been trying to keep disclosed at some point. And, if it’s not all of these people, it will be one of them. Your possessive significant other or your ultra-conservative mother will get wise to your excuses, cover stories and explanations that don’t completely add up over time. Someone may catch you in the act of talking to a client. A colleague may recognize a photo of you. Rumors may be spread about how you can afford your lifestyle. You may actually run into someone you know, as a client. And, despite your best efforts to be careful, your phone or laptop may tell tales on you when they are accessed innocently. Going in with the natural assumption that your profession won’t be a matter of privacy forever is the best way to realistically approach your future. As a result, you should always have an explanation ready. You must be mentally prepared for estrangement from those whom you love the most and for harsh judgment from others. However, many escorts are pleasantly surprised by how open minded their loved ones are when the truth comes to a head. Mostly, they are relieved to finally know the full story.
- A threatening client is definitely in your future. Smart escorts screen their clients carefully. They ask for personal details that identify them, ensure they are who they claim to be and provide enough data to seek out background checks. But, even when you screen carefully, ask for references and talk at length with a client, you can encounter a client who seems unsafe in some manner. He may intimidate you with an imposing manner, drill-sergeant orders or personally threatening comments. At first sight, you may be able to tell he’s dangerous or isn’t a risk you want to take. Escorts should always feel empowered enough to leave an encounter before it gets started, especially if red flags pop up or gut instincts indicate departure is necessary. However, you don’t always get that warning. Sometimes, a client becomes dangerous mid-encounter. For this reason, escorts should always use some sort of security measures (security partner nearby, phone check-ins or signals for help). At any point during a booking that you feel unsafe during, take off, if possible. Find an excuse to leave, or just run to the door without explanation. If you can’t get loose, attempt to calm your client and wrap up the encounter quickly, minimizing physical threats as much as possible. Being overly confident that your screening methods will keep you safe is demonstrating your naivety.
- You will end up with timewasters. Seasoned escorts seem to have a sixth sense about clients who don’t intend to follow through with encounters. However, even the most experienced professional can be fooled from time to time. And, escorts who have a great track record of good clients will find they won’t be lucky forever. Some would-be clients are never going to actually meet up with an escort, despite booking her time and talking her leg off making plans prior to the session. He gets fulfillment and enjoyment from the act of obtaining an escort’s attention. As a rule, you can trust your instincts about these clients. But, it’s probable that you will end up with a timewaster or two during the time of your career. You may be stood up, pranked or canceled on repeatedly by a client. He may try to get you to engage in phone sex with him, promising to book an encounter afterward. Much like any other profession, you will get a percentage of clients who will be no-shows, either deliberately or accidentally. Regardless of their motives, any who don’t end up making it to the scheduled encounter are wasting your time.
- A client with an active STD will show up at your door. Unfortunately, many clients are unaware that they are suffering from a sexually transmitted infection. They know they have a rash or are experiencing some discomfort, but they never put two and two together to admit they have something more serious than general chafing or a fluke allergic reaction. However, there’s an entirely different category of client who fully knows he’s got a sexually-transmitted infection and deliberately avoids telling an escort about his problem. This is the exact reason that an escort must exercise caution each and every time she becomes intimate with a client. You need to learn to do a quick visual examination that will identify suspicious-looking issues on your client’s genitalia. In addition to your fast visual analysis of his sexual health, using protection with every client is a requirement, despite his persistence that it’s unnecessary. Using condoms should be a standard guideline that you implement during each encounter. Additionally, some infections manifest themselves in other locations other than just the genital region. For instance, cold sores are contagious and may be spread from the mouth to your genitals, if you allow an affected client to administer oral sex to you without protection. Always use caution if you suspect that a client may have an infection; or, refuse him service until he comes up with a clean bill of health if you have suspicions about contracting his problem.
- Clients who don’t want to pay your rates are going to show up. Some escorts may boast that they’ve never had a problem with a client who didn’t want to pay their rates. Don’t let them fool you. Nearly all escorts have had a client who refused to pay or argued about the agreed-upon rates for their time. While an escort may feel she and her client made a deal to meet for $200 per hour, he may say it was only for $100 for an hour when she gets to his hotel room. Other clients will try to persuade an escort to give them discounts (for loyal service, first-time trial, etc.) or a freebie (because they had a bad day, couldn’t schedule when they wanted or gave a good tip last time, for example). Even the wealthiest, most successful clients are stingy, at times. It’s human nature to try to get the best bang for your buck, so to speak. So, it’s really no surprise that a client will try to talk an escort into lowering her rate. However, as an escort, you shouldn’t allow this. Your rate is your standard fee…for everyone. It’s what you feel your time is worth in order to spend it with clients. If a client isn’t willing to pay your fee, he doesn’t get to enjoy your company. Because this is a situation you will probably face repeatedly, you need to learn to exercise confidence and assurance as you negotiate for your originally quoted rate. And, if a client won’t pay up, don’t stay with him.
- A client will think that money gets him anything he wants. Despite very clearly stating in your profile or on the phone that you do not perform certain acts (such as anal intercourse, water sports or other intimacies), some clients think that if they offer you more money, you will lift those boundaries. Assuming that you can be bought, many clients will suggest that they will tip heavily or bring a special gift for you, if you will allow them special privileges. Because they suspect you are motivated by money, they naturally assume they can bribe you into doing things against your own standards. The best way to handle these clients is to answer their offers with a firm declination, avoiding anything that could be interpreted as hesitation. These clients will continue to work on you, until you make it evidently clear that your personal boundaries are non-negotiable, despite how much money they may give you.
- You will feel dirty or used at some point. Women have a general tendency to feel that their bodies are only valued for one purpose: sex. And, when you’re an escort, that feeling is escalated dramatically. Many times, as you engage with a client, his focus is not on your brains or sense of humor. He is enthralled with your beauty and sexual allure. While this is flattering, it can get to the point of being demeaning when you want to be seen as something more than a sex object. To exacerbate this feeling even more, some clients are verbally abusive or belittling. Despite wanting to believe that all clients are gentlemen, facing the fact that they all aren’t will save you from lots of disappointment. Mean, ungrateful clients can make you feel terrible about yourself, if you let them. They can cause you to doubt yourself, your appearance, self worth and abilities. They may make you feel like a whore, dirty and used up. You have to fight against this within yourself, building up your self esteem and instilling confidence in yourself that you are a woman worthy of respect and honor.
- The desire to quit the industry will be strong. At some point in your career, you will want to leave the escort industry. It may be after an especially nasty client or bad encounter or when you’ve experienced timewaster after timewaster. If you work as an escort for more than just a few months, you will feel that the industry is just not for you. Getting fed up with clients, unhappy with the amount of work it takes to please some patrons and the attitudes inflicted upon you by society, your family and friends may make you feel that the career is not worth the struggle. However, if you stick with it, that feeling usually goes away, especially when you encounter a pleasant client who makes you feel like you are great at what you do. Much like any job, you will want to throw in the towel sometimes. And, while many escorts find their attitudes look up if they stay in the profession, you may find that the career is just not a good fit. Follow your heart and do what is best for you. But, don’t make any sudden choices or decisions without proper thought.
- You will be a sucker. It’s inevitable that some client will get to you. He will make you fall for his sob story and feel sorry for him, only to discover later that he duped you completely. You may travel for a vacation with a client to an exotic location, only to discover that he wasn’t paying for your travel costs. You may get the offer of a lifetime for an easy, lucrative encounter, only to discover that the opportunity was way too good to be true. Most escorts are pretty good at seeing past the smoke and mirrors and identifying scams or ploys for their attention. However, once in awhile, an escort is a sucker, just like anyone else. You probably want to believe that people are good, generally. And, it is likely that you secretly want that brass ring. It’s easy to fall for scams and tricks, without even knowing it. Human nature makes everyone susceptible to others’ ill intentions. The most important thing is to avoid beating yourself up over your mistake.
- Your escorting career will affect your relationships. Escorts who see clients with failing relationships may eventually come to believe that all of them are the same. People cheat on each other. They lie. And, they say mean things about each other. Your views on sex and what’s normal for a relationship will be skewed. And, your thoughts about intimacy may become warped, after working in the industry for a time. You will experience paranoia and worry about your own friendships and relationships. It’s normal to wonder if your own perception of relationships is accurate or if it’s just a result of your profession. You can never return to your naive look at love or intimacy, but you can utilize your new perceptions to evolve more realistic visions of relationships. You may come to view your relationships differently and, perhaps, with more clarity. At the same time, many escorts experience issues with intimacy and trust, because they have developed instincts to put up barriers between them and others, in order to avoid emotional attachment to clients.
- You may never want a traditional job ever again. After experiencing the joys of being your own boss, setting your own hours and making better money than you can sitting at a desk in a “normal” job, you may never be able to settle into a standard career, again. Working as an escort may cause returning to the traditional job market a burden nearly unable to bear. As a result, you may have to seek out entrepreneurial pursuits of other kinds, if you decide you must leave the adult industry in the future. That’s okay: you can do anything you set your mind to.