According to Coco Chanel, “A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous”. There is no “nice” in her definition.
As children, women are taught time and time again to be “nice”. “Good girls” aren’t pushy or loud, they smile, act like ladies and are always helpful. Young girls are expected to speak when spoken to and carry themselves with propriety and modesty. They are certainly taught to never “put out” on first dates and are rarely prepared to stick up for themselves.
These women are not equipped to become escorts. In order to create a successful escorting career, women have found that they don’t have to be “nice girls”. Here are the top 12 reasons why escorts don’t have to be “nice” in order to be successful:
- Clients aren’t looking for a “nice girl”. Throughout their lives, clients have run across enough “nice girls” to last them a lifetime. They may have even married one (or two or more!). When they are looking through online classifieds for an escort, they are hoping to find a woman who personifies what their life may be missing. Excitement, exuberance, vivaciousness or optimism could be the traits they are looking for. Some clients are attracted to women who are “real” versus “nice”. “Real” women aren’t afraid to tell a client that she thinks his drama is senseless or that it’s silly to be shy about asking for a nurse/doctor role play. They tell it like it is, with spunk and enthusiasm. Additionally, as the old saying goes, “Men want a woman who can be a lady in public and a whore in private”. Clients are excited to find a woman who is classy and sophisticated, but can out-dirty talk them in the sack.
- It’s better to be smart than “nice”. Common stereotypes are that nice guys and girls finish last. And it’s often true, because nice people tend to let others take advantage of them and offer others much more than they receive in return. Overextending to make people happy, at your own expense, is a trait of being a “nice girl”, but it isn’t a trait of a successful escort. Escorts who experience high levels of achievement in the industry are smart about the way they conduct their business. That doesn’t always equate with being nice. In many professions, successful women are called “bitches”. It’s because they don’t take any flack off of anyone and are focused on the issues at hand, not pleasing everyone else. It’s okay to veer away from being “nice” in order to be successful.
- “Nice” girls don’t perform taboo services. In fact, “nice” girls wouldn’t perform any kind of services. To be a successful escort, you will probably want to provide some type of intimacy other than a friendly backrub. Many escorts take things even further by including fetishist activities in their bag of tricks, which certainly wouldn’t be the forte of a “nice” girl. Rimming, sexy striptease, dirty talk and anal intercourse are not common activities that “good” girls participate in. If you want to provide intimacies to your client that are non-standard acts, you are likely not a “nice” girl, which is fine by your clients.
- Not being required to be “nice” allows you to be yourself. One of the aspects of a successful escorting career is letting clients know what makes you unique. Demonstrating to clients how you differ from other providers is part of what attracts them to you. Escorts who have strong, individualistic personalities most often fare better than escorts who seem to put up the same “nice” facade that several others do. Escorts who put up kick ass profiles where they include opinions, humor and insights into their wicked wit draw the best and most loyal clients. Don’t be lulled into thinking that you have to be the “girl next door” who also happens to be “nice”. Exert your personality, and show your not-so-”nice” side. Clients love it!
- Many clients are looking for the complete opposite of “nice”. It’s becoming more and more popular for clients to seek out dominatrix services. Successful, powerful clients often look for escorts who will degrade, demean and humiliate them through their services as a way to blow off steam and release negative energies from always being the one in charge. Relinquishing control to a dom is a way that clients fulfill an inner desire to get a rush from allowing someone else to tell them what to do. And, they can’t get this kind of service from a “nice” girl. An escort has to be rough with her clients during this type of activity, and it’s certainly not for the weak stomached.
- Being a good person doesn’t mean that you’re stooping to “nice girl” status. Escorts can still treat people nicely, exercise compassion and kindness and provide generosity, without being wimpy and “nice”. When you’re a good person, you can still stick up for yourself and determine when someone is taking advantage of your kindness. Good people treat others as they, themselves, want to be treated. But, they maintain a backbone and pride in their relationships.
- “Nice” girls follow the rules. It’s fairly evident that escorts can’t be “nice” girls, because escorts do not follow any of the rules. Breaking society’s rules about acceptability is the foremost thing that escorts accomplish when they enter the industry. The escort profession isn’t one that is commonly approved of, and escorts often hide their careers from their loved ones. They choose to be dishonest in hopes of maintaining relationships with others. They make money through spending time with clients, which is typically frowned upon and judged by society. In fact, the entire industry is breaking the rules set forth by society. But, regardless of what others think of them, escorts continue in their careers, determined to become successful, despite the rules they have to bend or break along the way. “Nice” girls would never stoop to such levels: they believe that if you have to break the rules, the end goal isn’t worth it. Escorts, though, know that the end goal of economic stability and security and a luxurious lifestyle is definitely beneficial enough to bend the rules.
- Escorts have more fun than “nice” girls. “Nice” girls have to worry what other will think and are constantly enslaved by the concept of what is “right” and “wrong”. Escorts, though, enjoy their lives, maintaining a carefree existence, unfettered by society’s chains. After all, they are already societal outcasts. Once they entered into the escort profession, they became judged by society’s standards. After that, it’s easy to lead your life the way in which you want, instead of the way you think you are expected to. Escorts enjoy life, party and travel. They purchase frivolous items, dress fabulously and meet exciting people. They are excited about what is around the next corner…and race to see what’s there.
- Toughness is a more practical quality than being “nice”. Being an escort can be rough. Thick skin is required to shake off rude, insensitive comments made by some clients or others who find out what you do for a living. Clients aren’t always kind or gentle, leaving an escort bruised and insulted. Marketing yourself to complete strangers is difficult, and relying on your skills for your complete livelihood is a daunting task. Being tough and brave are much more useful traits to have when you enter the escort industry. You have to be able to stand up for yourself, backbone enough to block and refuse clients and do what is best for your business, despite your own personal feelings.
- “Nice” girls don’t take risks. Escorts take risks all of the time. Even after security/background checks, escorts take their lives into their own hands each and every time they meet up with a new client, not really knowing what type of man he is. Venturing to an encounter is an unsure endeavor that could result in unsafe or threatening environments. Also, it’s a risk to start your own business and rely on your talents to earn an income. Being an escort puts yourself in the line of scrutiny with law enforcement, too, as many officials are hoping to catch escorts in acts of prostitution, despite that not being their business. Escorts work in an industry that is based on risk, and “nice” girls who are afraid of such endeavors wouldn’t make it.
- Boundaries aren’t implemented by “nice” girls. Escorts have to set boundaries with their clients. Whether the boundaries pertain to prohibition of certain sexual acts or requiring 24 hours notice prior to all encounters, escorts set up guidelines that their clients must follow. Adhering to these guidelines help make an escort successful. And, when a client fails to follow her rules, it also tells an escort a lot about his future as a client. (Usually, if a client can’t follow directions early on, he will be a problem later.) Escorts who are too “nice” to enact their boundaries will get run over and taken advantage of repeatedly, taking away their chances of being successful.
- “Nice” girls experience a lot of guilt, which is not good for the escort business. When you’re an escort, there’s a lot of opportunities to shoulder a lot of guild. From entertaining married men (and helping them cheat on their wives) to deceiving family members about what you do for a living, guilt is something that could be debilitating if taken to heart by an escort. But, successful escorts learn to take it all in stride and deal with it in their own ways. Being too “nice” would cause escorts to be overly sensitive to their guilt, causing them severe difficulties in developing a long-term career in the industry. Escorts are best off to avoid the guilt, and shrug off the “nice” girl persona early on.
While it’s great to be a “nice” girl or the type of girl a guy would “bring home to mom”, that pacifistic personality won’t help you in your escorting career. In fact, it will probably hinder you in all facets of your life. In fact, women in all professions are counseled to develop strong, firm personalities in order to succeed in both their personal lives and careers.