Escorts put up with a lot from clients. Sarcasm, insults, indirectly rude comments, ignorant stereotyping and generally unpleasant attitudes top the list, among other actions that leave escorts feeling negatively toward the men they provide services for. However, seasoned escorts know that while they have to put up with some things from their clients (such as occasional bad attitudes and routine insensitivity), they don’t have to tolerate other behaviors that are truly inexcusable.
Sticking up for yourself when you’re an escort can be difficult, especially if you feel that by confronting a client you could lose business or earn a bad review. But, some behaviors are so bad that they must be addressed, or they may get worse in the future. While each and every one of these behaviors may not be your deal breakers, they are good places to start when determining your limitations about what you will put up with from clients. Consider drawing the line when clients act in the following manners:
- Failing to pay is not acceptable under any terms. Escorting is your livelihood, and you should always get paid for providing companionship to a client. Clients may use a variety of excuses in order to get out of paying your rates. From blatantly asking for a freebie (because he is such a good client) to forgetting to bring cash, a client may try to avoid coughing up the dough for an encounter. He may tell you that he’ll pay you next time, but he won’t seem to remember this statement when you meet up with him, again. Clients sometimes promise to go to the ATM after the encounter is over, to return with the agreed upon fee…but, they usually never show back up. Escorts should always get their money up front, before anything happens during the encounter. You should never rely on your client to catch back up with you or to wire it to you later. While some clients might actually be trustworthy enough to do that, they are not usually the ones who forget to pay you when they arrive. If a client arrives without the funds for the encounter, ask him to leave; or, if you are at an outcall meeting, walk away without a second thought.
- Pushing or attempting to exceed your boundaries is inappropriate behavior. Clients who think they can persuade you to change your mind about what you will allow during an encounter need to back off. Typically, escorts provide a list of or details about activities they are unwilling to participate in with a client. Other times, a client may purposefully push the envelope of reasonable expectations by doing things he knows you don’t approve of, for his own pleasure or gain. For example, a client may attempt to engage in an activity without first getting your consent. Or, he may encourage you to allow him to film you while you undress. Of course, he knows these are things you don’t allow. But, he assumes that if he presses the issue, you might feel as though you have to consent. Boundary pushing clients are not only irritating, but they can become dangerous. It’s best to block them from your client list if they continue their bold behaviors.
- Physically injuring, hurting or assaulting you should never be tolerated. Abusive clients need to be cut out of your client list immediately, even if he didn’t “intend” to hurt you. (They never intend to hurt a woman…but, they usually do repeatedly.) Any client who is so rough or forceful with you that you end up bruised up, sore and hurting the next day shouldn’t be invited back for another encounter, ever. Of course, somewhere along the line, you are responsible for informing the client that he is hurting you. (Sometimes, a client really doesn’t know his own strength.) If you can do anything about it, don’t allow your client to continue. Tell him to stop. Move away from him. Scream. Yell. Call for help, if necessary. If you feel your client’s harm to you was intentional and planned, consider reporting him to law enforcement. A client should never get by with hurting an escort. However, if you feel that your client just didn’t know, consider giving him another chance, encouraging him to be more gentle and tender with you. Emphasize that you are delicate, and he needs to treat you that way. If he continues to be rough, cross him off your client list. (Exceptions should be made if you and your client are into BDSM during the encounter.)
- Disrespect from a client is unacceptable. Clients who persistently insult, degrade or ridicule you should never get a repeat booking. Your clients should be booking time with you, because they want to spend an evening or afternoon in your presence. Compliments, appreciation and general courtesy should be expressed during an encounter (by both parties), and insults shouldn’t ever surface. Some clients seem to like to hire escorts so they can yell at them and make them feel bad. Unless you are somehow into this kind of self-punishment, avoid scheduling these clients into your routine. You have tremendous self worth and should be very confident in yourself. Never, under any circumstances, is it permissible for a client to attempt to make you feel negatively about yourself. Allowing a client to walk all over you with his insults and disparaging remarks leaves it wide open for him to further cross your boundaries, disrespecting you even more.
- Permitting a client to tell you what to do or how to act is not a favorable way to act during an encounter. Clients go on power trips and think that because they can order others around in their lives (employees, family members, friends, etc.), they can tell you what to do, too. Beyond a few suggestions about what they want from you during the encounter, you shouldn’t ever allow a client to feel he has the right (or the privilege) to set rules for you about how to lead your life or run your business. Don’t allow him to tell you not to see other clients. Refrain from letting him influence you about what you should wear, how to cut your hair or anything else that is up to your own personal opinion. Escorts have strong minds of their own and should exercise their rights to choose for themselves. Clients should never be permitted to think they have the upper hand to control you and your actions.
- Making you feel guilty for not consenting to their requests is a behavior that you should not entertain. Many clients will ask outlandish things of their escorts, always being turned down and rejected. They learn to lay guilt trips on people who refuse to go along with them, making others feel as though they’ve let them down in some fashion. Avoid allowing a client to get under your skin with comments about how sad or disappointed he is that you won’t follow through with his “simple” request. Don’t allow him to put it back on your shoulders for refusing to grant him pleasure. Don’t bend to his manipulation. He is only trying to tempt you to allow him special privileges or a prohibited activity. Some clients ask for a sex act they know you won’t allow; others may want to take you out on a date (free of charge, of course!). Bending just once to his will is likely to encourage repeat performances including a guilt trip.
- Letting your client squirm into your world to become your BFF is a big mistake. Anytime that an escort lets a client get too close, the lines of the escort/client relationship become very blurry or non-existent. It makes it difficult to keep him as a client and to retain a limit on any emotional attachment that develops between the two of you. Additionally, some clients become too comfortable with such a friendship and want to take things further. They can actually become bothersome by showing up announced, calling “just to talk” for no reason or invading your personal time. Others develop unhealthy obsessions and stalk escorts, learning about their private lives and attempting to interfere. It’s fine to be buddies with a client during your encounters with him, but he must understand that your relationship is strictly a convenient business arrangement and nothing more.
- Clients who stay too long after an encounter cannot be allowed to continue their behavior. It’s likely that some clients dawdle as the encounter comes to an end. They don’t want the fantasy to end, are enjoying themselves too much and are resistant to return to the real world. They enjoy being showered with attention from you and try to stretch it out as long as possible. However, they are infringing on time they haven’t paid for. Escorts charge for their time; clients book a certain amount of time for a negotiated fee. However, when clients start lingering too long, they should be charged for the extra time they are present. After informing your client that you expect payment for those extra 15 minutes he wanted to cuddle, he will likely get dressed and skedaddle quickly.
- Arriving under the influence of illegal drugs or alcohol should never be tolerated. Clients who expect you to visit with them for an encounter when they are obviously affected by some other substance should be turned away. When a client is drunk or high, he may exhibit unpredictable behavior that is unlike his true personality. Violence, verbal abuse and rape are common outcomes for escorts who meet up with high or drunk clients. Refuse to see them for the encounter, either turning them away from your incall or walking out from their hotel room or residence. Even if you think that your client wouldn’t hurt you, it’s just never a good idea to stick around when your client isn’t at his best.
- Allowing a client to take over your career is unacceptable. Some escorts are so gullible they may fall for a client’s offer to help manage their business for a cut of the profits. In other words, your client wants to become your pimp. Independent escorts are in the industry on their own for a reason: they want to control their own careers. Despite your client’s ideas and promises to make you famous, refrain from allowing him anywhere near your business. If he persists, refuse contact with him. When clients attempt to take over an escort’s business, they usually want to get action for free and/or intend to hook up their friends for free, too. They are looking to earn money from your talent and efforts, without putting much work out. An escort should never resort to allowing a client to manage her; if she needs help, she should contact another escort in the area for advice.
- Escorts who allow their clients to take them for granted will always play second priority to everything else. Of course, a client has his initial priorities: work, family, friends, etc. However, when he books an encounter with you, this appointment should be as important as any other to him. If he consistently blows you off for better offers from his wife, co-workers or friends, it’s a pretty sure bet that he is taking you for granted with the assumption that you will always be waiting for him when he’s ready. Even though you depend on your clients for your livelihood, you don’t have to tolerate inconsiderate behavior that demonstrates he doesn’t value your time or schedule. By leaving you to wonder if he’s going to show up, he messes with your schedule and indicates that he doesn’t care what type of hardship or obstacles he places in line for you. Make your clients appreciate you by not always being readily available each and every time they want to see you. Call and reschedule once in a while with a client who does the same to you. Once he knows how it feels, he may forego doing it again.
- Never negotiate on your rates. Escorts need to stick to their guns about their fees at all times. It isn’t your fault that a client lost his job, had an investment fail or is short on cash for some reason. He is coming to you, requesting the opportunity to spend time with you, which is an expensive commodity. It’s essential to keep your prices consistent with all clients. It would be difficult to keep charging your same rates if it ever leaked out that you accepted a lower rate for some clients than others. All clients would expect a discount each time. And, they would assume they could negotiate a better price with you during each encounter. Their attempts to wear you down on your rates would cause many more time-consuming discussions, which takes time away from other aspects of your profession. If a client doesn’t value your time sufficiently to pay your rates, he doesn’t have to hire you.
Game of shells image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/proimos/4203381267/