Humans are geared to view the world as revolving around ourselves. Babies start out with this mentality and never really outgrow it. It’s very easy to take others’ actions personally, even when they are not aimed at us specifically.
It’s common for people who respect themselves (as everyone should) to allow a bit of “healthy narcissism”. But doing it too often can make separating reality from self-indulged fiction difficult.
Because escorts work with so many different people on intimate levels, it’s really no surprise that they run into situations that may cause them to feel personally responsible or targeted.
Try ignoring the following 12 things for a chance to make your life easier:
- Clients may leave early or ask you to go before the allotted time has expired. Even though you may believe that your client has signed on for your entire two-hour-minimum encounter, he may have other ideas. Once he’s happy with the time he’s spent with you, he may elect to leave early. Some clients are busy with work or other obligations and only need 30 minutes of your time to achieve satisfaction. Don’t fret. It’s not an insult or an indication that he’s not pleased with your service. Even the most regular client who uses the entire encounter may need to leave early once in awhile. And, he may not share an explanation with you for the early dismissal.
- Some clients can’t climax – even with you. It’s not your fault. As an escort, y it’s your job to help your client feel completely fulfilled, usually by achieving an orgasm, in addition to providing other intimacies. But, some clients simply cannot climax with you or anyone else. They anticipate the act too much, and they end up with performance anxiety. Stress and anxiety about other issues in life could be working them up so much they can’t find that release. Additionally, health conditions or medicines taken to treat them may be the culprits. Medicines for heart problems, depression and some supplements make it difficult for a man to reach orgasm. If you’re providing your usual good service, you can rest assured that it’s not your fault he can’t reach completion. Of course, you can help the situation by being empathetic and willing to try other positions to make him happier.
- Erectile dysfunction is common in older clients. Erectile dysfunction (ED) is the inability to obtain or maintain an erection for sexual intercourse. Older clients experience this occurrence more than younger ones, however ED is not limited by age. Previously referred to as impotency, this condition is not your fault. Your client isn’t having trouble getting “it” up because of you or something you’re not doing properly. It’s not that he’s not attracted to you or that he isn’t pleased with your services. ED can be the result of several physical conditions, including but not limited to, hardening of the arteries, nerve disorders and chronic illnesses. Psychological problems such as depression or anxiety can cause this, too. Medications taken for these conditions (both physical and psychological) may be the root of the problem. If your client is having trouble making himself “stand at attention,” don’t fret or blame yourself. There are plenty of other things you can do to please your client that don’t require an erection.
- “You don’t look like I expected you to” At some point in her career, every escort hears this phrase muttered as she meets a client for the first time. It’s easy to feel defensive when a client says this. Perhaps, he thinks you’re not pretty, thin or sexy enough for his expectations. But, his statement may not be negative, at all. One of your pictures may have reminded him of someone he knew, and when you showed up, the resemblance wasn’t as prevalent as he had thought it would be. Other times, clients focus on the many pictures they looked at when choosing an escort, possibly confusing you with another they were interested in. Sometimes, they don’t read your profile, which clearly states your measurements and height… and when you show up standing 5’8″ instead of the 5’2″ they expected, it’s a shock. As long as you truly represent yourself online with current, authentic pictures and an accurate description of yourself, you should never take a client’s comments about your appearance personally.
- Clients are sometimes very grouchy, for seemingly no reason. Surly clients who are irritated about everything and can’t be pleased may cause you think you are failing to perform your services satisfactorily. However, some clients book encounters to help perk up an otherwise bad day…only to continue the bitching and moaning when they are with you, too. They transfer the causes of their problems on to you, and allow themselves to complain, gripe or rant about their issues during an encounter. Don’t give in to the feelings that it’s your fault. Taking his surliness personally doesn’t change the fact that your client may simply need someone to express anger or frustration to. You may be acting in a therapeutic role, but you don’t even know it. And, some clients are just grouches. Letting them blow and go may be just what they need, as long you remember to shrug off any criticisms or outbursts they have, provided no violence is included.
- Clients who can’t get in the mood are discouraging. They often get frustrated, because even when they see you in your finest lingerie or birthday suit, they still don’t feel aroused. Don’t sweat it. Low libidos are common problems in the world, and if you have a large client list, it’s going to be a somewhat usual complaint. And, while you can’t crank up a client’s arousal level without some help from his hormones, you can still conduct an encounter that pleasures him by making him feel attractive and important. Many men experience low libido levels because of dips in testosterone levels, emotional issues that make it difficult for them to feel horny, high blood pressure or medications that zap their attraction levels. You should never take it personally that your client can’t get in the mood. It’s not about you; it’s about him.
- Clients may experience relationship problems — they are not your fault. If the truth is told, there are relationship-based problems in the beginning if a client is calling around behind his partner’s back to find companionship elsewhere. You are not responsible for your client’s problems with his mate. Some clients blame their escorts for issues with their wives or lovers, especially when they are caught cheating. However, unless you initiated contact with his partner, your client’s love problems are not your doing. Your client made the conscious decision to contact and see you. It’s not your fault that he didn’t cover his tracks better or make attempts to be more discreet about his trysts with you.
- Clients may tell you that they love you. Don’t get yourself worked up over your client’s exclamation of love, especially if made during a moment of ecstasy. Unless your client has begun to give you the “puppy dog” eyes at other times (or is doing things that lead you to really believe he’s crossing inappropriate lines), don’t take his comment personally. Many men make comments like this when they love what you’re doing to them. They confuse saying that they love you with meaning they love the experience. However, you can take the statement as a compliment, letting you know you’re doing your job right. Also, many people in today’s society throw the “L” word around like it means nothing. Hollywood folks, business executives and other outgoing types are always telling someone they love them. Usually, it just means they like them.
- Pranksters will call on any escort who will listen to them. They may schedule encounters they never show up for, try to keep an escort on the phone for ridiculous conversations or perform any other antics they can think of. The end result is an escort who is cheated out of her time by “prospective” clients who got their kicks out of fooling her. Regardless of how seasoned an escort may be, it’s easy to taken in by pranksters or timewasters. They may sound quite genuine, with believable cover stories. However, you should never take it personally that you were targeted for a prank. There is nothing special in your profile or gallery photos that would cause someone to try to play a joke on you. For every good client out there, a twisted jokester exists that gets off on fooling an escort.
- Clients sometimes cry. Most clients are happy during sex and after an orgasm. However, others who are experiencing emotional upsets may cry over relationship failures or anything else that springs to mind during intimate moments. It’s not your fault, and you shouldn’t think his weeping is because of something you did or didn’t do. Chalk it up to providing such a good experience that it resonates too deeply for your client. Give him your shoulder (or other soft body part) to cry on, and encourage him that things will get better. Many clients just need an understanding ear, and an escort is often that outlet for them.
- Not all clients will return. Despite the connection you thought you felt with a client, some won’t return for many different reasons. It’s not something you can take personally. You may not be his “type,” he may decide he doesn’t want to see an escort any more or he may be the kind of guy who is excited by the “newness” he feels with different escorts. You can’t feel bad about the fact that an appealing client didn’t return, as long as you delivered your services to the best of your abilities and engaged in the encounter enthusiastically.
- Some clients must haggle. It’s easy for an escort to take it personally when a client insinuates that he doesn’t feel time with her is worth her expressed fees. Anger, hurt feelings and condescension are common experiences when a client haggles over price. However, don’t take it personally. Some clients are just tightwads and don’t want to spend their money, even though they’ve already agreed to your rates. Realizing that some clients are just cheap is better than beating yourself up over the fact that he doesn’t think you’re worth your quoted expense.
Essentially, an escort has to learn to go with the flow. It’s easy to get worked up by the ways that clients may inadvertently treat you. But, you can step back and analyze the situation to realize that their actions are not really directed at you, personally. With this attitude, your work in the industry becomes much more bearable and it’s easier to go to work every day with a smile on your face.
With that said, you can’t chalk up repeated behaviors by clients to not being related to the services you are providing to them. If a significant number of clients are unhappy with encounters, it may be a sign for you to reevaluate your conduct and professionalism.