With 72 million Americans tipping the scales at the obesity level in the United States, it’s very possible that you have an obese or morbidly obese client in your little black book, and encounters with larger clients may call for special considerations.
Their weight and size are factors that you should assess as you plan ways to provide services to them. Sexual positions, furniture concerns and health conditions may all be issues that you have to analyze in order to give your client the best experience possible.
If you’re unaccustomed to working with clients who are seriously overweight (more than 20 or 30 pounds), use these tips to guide you through successful encounters:
- The cowgirl position puts you in control. Although many clients may prefer the missionary position, it is a difficult one to perform with an overweight client. His abdomen may get in the way, causing insertion problems. Additionally, when he gets close enough to you for intercourse, his weight pressing down on you may be crushingly uncomfortable. Using the cowgirl position is a viable alternative that works much of the time. For more control, you can position your feet flat on the bed and sit in a squatting position. Use your thighs to do the work. However, the downfall to this position is that it requires great leg strength. If you have difficulty maintaining this position, transition into a reverse cowgirl position and push against his body to create an up-and-down motion. Many escorts indicate they prefer the reverse cowgirl position so they do not have to look at their clients the entire time. Most clients enjoy these positions greatly, and you have easy access to their penises. (The cowgirl position is difficult for escorts who are shorter: they have trouble straddling an extra-large client.)
- Doggy style works well for some obese clients. If your client can stand for a period of time, he can lift his belly and rest it on your back. Brace yourself against the bed or a chair, and prepare for the pumping motions of your client. His efforts may physically move you, so continue to back up against him for smooth intercourse.
- Consider the butterfly position for an overweight client who prefers missionary-style sex. To perform this position, lay on your back at the edge of the bed, with your legs spread open widely. Allow your client to move to you between your legs and then position them accordingly for ease of intercourse. Putting your legs up on your client may make the position more comfortable for you, and he may enjoy being able to touch them, too. The plus side to this position is that your client gets full view of you, which should help stimulate him further.
- Oral sex is always a good option. In order to gain good access to your client’s penis, you may have to push back excessive abdominal or groin tissue. Keep in mind that your client’s penis may appear smaller than it actually is due to extra layers of fat disguising the base of it. Regardless, your client will still enjoy oral pleasure.
- Always ensure that the condom stays on when you’re enjoying intercourse with an overweight client. It’s common that a client’s fatty groin tissue makes a condom ride up and come off. To avoid a rogue condom, hold the groin tissue down during intimacy. Because it’s difficult to keep a condom on, many clients may ask if they can avoid using one with you. Stick to your rules and always require it! A French study in 2006 discovered that obese men under the age of 30 years old were more likely to have had an STD in the last five years than their non-obese counterparts. Additionally, the study revealed that obese men ages 30 to 49 years old were less likely to use condoms with their partners in the previous year. So, be aware that obese men may have an aversion to condoms and will attempt to get out of using them when they can. Insist on condom usage for all encounters.
- Ask your client what works for him. Instead of trying to come up with methods to please him, ask him — he may already know what he likes. While most clients will appreciate your efforts and, perhaps, creativity, many clients have perfected the art of obese sex. Odds are that when given the opportunity, your client will position you in such a way that he can fulfill his needs easily and quickly. A bit of flexibility and strength on your part may be needed, depending on the contortion required, but your willingness to oblige his wants will make him extremely pleased. Additionally, it makes him feel accepted when you involve his desires in the encounter. As important as finding out what your client likes, it’s also necessary to ask about what is too strenuous or difficult for him.
- Use helper devices when engaging in intimacy with an obese client. Positions are sometimes difficult to perfect or hold when working with a client that requires different angles than your general encounters. Foam sex wedges (often with a 27-degree incline) are excellent tools to use to create positions that allow your client to have easy access to your ladybits. The wedges can be used to support your hips or as a pillow to brace yourself when engaged in rear-entry sexual positions. Some obese clients may surprise you with a sex swing that you or he will sit in for kinkier positions that he will enjoy. Additionally, don’t forget about the old stand-by tool good for any encounter: the vibrator. Use it for extra stimulation or foreplay in order to enhance the experience.
- Respect your client. Many obese individuals suffer from depression, experience low self-esteem and are the subjects of daily discrimination. They are often ashamed of their bodies and may, even, apologize for their appearance, sometimes repeatedly. Regardless of how they became overweight, it is a condition that affects them every day and limits their lifestyles. Your obese client was brave and empowered enough to contact you. Take this as a huge compliment and know that he has placed his trust in you that you will not shame or embarrass him during the experience. Do your best to make your client feel good by complimenting his good features or traits. For instance, comment on the color of his eyes or his warm smile. Tell him his voice is sexy or that you think he is incredibly smart. Build up your client so that he feels good about himself. When a client feels confident and at ease, he enjoys the encounter more.
- Slow things down, if necessary. Many obese clients experience low levels of stamina and breathing problems during exertion. Your encounter doesn’t have to be performed at a break-neck pace; slow it down so that your client can enjoy it on his own terms. Keep in mind that high levels of activity may be difficult for him. He may have high blood pressure, and when excited, he may become dizzy or faint. Also, many clients experience severe heartburn or Gastroesophaegal Reflux Disease (GERD). These issues are exacerbated by physical activity including sexual intercourse or excitement. If your client complains about any discomfort, stop what you’re doing immediately and allow him to set the new pace.
- Be prepared for erectile dysfunction. A 2012 obesity study in the U.S. identified erectile dysfunction (ED) as a symptom experienced by nearly 75 percent of obese study participants. Several other studies have linked the prevalence of ED to obesity, as well. Some ED sufferers take medication to help reduce symptoms, but others will require patience and special attention from you in order to get an erection.
- Be aware that reduced sensitivity in the penis is a common complaint among obese clients. Excessive tissue around the penis puts too much pressure on the nerves, which restricts the penis’s ability to transmit pleasure sensations to the brain. Without the transmission of these messages, pleasure doesn’t register and an orgasm becomes difficult or impossible. Additionally, Type 2 Diabetes is a common problem for morbidly obese clients. Some people with advanced levels of the disease experience severe nerve tissue damage and destruction throughout the body, including the genitals. When the nerves are damaged, pleasurable sensations are simply not experienced. However, for clients without serious nerve cell issues, tingling lotions or other warming lubricants may help to enhance their experiences.
- Sensitivity to your clients’ disabilities is necessary. Even though your clients may be perfectly able to take care of themselves and live on their own, they may suffer from various levels of disabilities associated with their obesity issues. Physical limitations are common, including not being able to stand for periods of time, balance problems, joint and back pain and inability to walk without assistance. Some clients may walk with a cane or a walker. Arthritis is common, and slipped discs and sciatic nerve problems are prevalent, which may reduce flexibility and strength . Encourage your clients to let you know about any discomfort they are having during any part of your visit with them.
- Know that your furniture could sustain damage from repeated use by an obese client. Select sturdy, spacious pieces of furniture for your clients to sit in before moving things to a more private part of your incall. Consider rearranging your furniture or removing delicate pieces from the room to deter their use. Your bed should be strong and sturdy in order to sustain the wear and tear you put it through regularly. But, know that extremely active sessions with an obese client could damage it or break down your mattress. If you have concerns about this, attempt to utilize positions that will decrease the amount of weight your client puts on your furniture. Not only is it irritating for a good piece of your furniture to get ruined under the weight of a heavy client, but it’s also humiliating for the client.