Nearly every job or industry has a set of individuals that a person needs to have positive connections with. As an escort, this is a significant tip to remember. Even though an escort leads a secretive lifestyle with few people knowing the truth about her career, she maintains important relationships with others who help ensure her success. Additionally, the nurturing of relationships with people who don’t know her secrets is equally important to maintaining work/life balance and helping an escort to be happy.
While every escort has her own set of networking connections or people she counts in her “inner circle,” these are a few important relationships that should never be overlooked:
- A good gynecologist is difficult to find. An escort’s health (both sexual and otherwise) is essential to continued optimum performance. Because an escort is intimate with many clients, it’s smart to get regular check-ups to ensure that your sexual health is not being threatened. Even though you utilize condoms with every client, risks are still involved when you are engaging in sexual behaviors of any kind. Because escorts see their gynecologists so regularly, an explanation is usually required for repeated tests to be administered. Finding a doctor you can trust with your secret is rare; coming across one who will not judge you is like discovering treasure! If you locate such a non-judgmental gynecologist, do your best to nurture your relationship with her. Always show up on time, let her do her job, inform her of pertinent information, spare the sordid details and follow her directions and suggestions. Don’t bother her or her office staff with unnecessary questions, and be pleasant, even if you’re placed on hold several times.
- A thrift shop owner can be your best friend. An escort who prides herself in donning designer duds and accessories will benefit greatly from the advance warning a thrift shop owner or clerk can give her when a quality piece arrives. Some relationships even result in a piece being set aside for an escort to pick up later, at her convenience. Most escorts (especially those just starting out) can’t afford designer garments at full retail price, so quality thrift shop bargains provide them with opportunities to dress stylishly for less. The problem with many thrift shops, though, is that the really great items are sold before they even hit the public racks. Thus, a good relationship with the owner or clerks can get you some great buys not available otherwise.
- Your accountant can help you through tax season and legitimize your questionable record of income. An accountant or bookkeeper can not only help you pay your major bills and file your taxes on time, but they also can help you take advantage of money tools you might not know about otherwise. Most escorts resist revealing their secret profession to their accountants, but those who allude to their careers get assistance in claiming tax deductions. You may be able to claim your clothing, transportation and travel if you can prove they were for your “consulting” business. Additionally, because your income is deposited into your bank using cash, some official departments might find your activity suspicious. However, an accountant can smooth things over to make your actions look more legitimate, thus avoiding questions about your business.
- A hotel concierge or manager can help an escort tremendously through providing her with referrals or discounts. When a high-profile guest checks into an upscale hotel, the concierge and manager (both) are made aware. Often, either of them may be questioned about where a guest can find quality female companionship. If you’ve established a strong relationship with hotel officials, they will readily provide your contact information to the guest, especially if they’ve been promised a generous “finding fee.” Additionally, they may be willing to turn a blind eye when you walk into their hotel lobby, knowing full well that you intend to conduct business in their hotel. Other escorts may be reported to police or asked to leave. Other perks of being friendly with hotel staff include assistance with valet parking, discounts for room service and complimentary upgrades for incall stays.
- An escort’s driver and security guard are essential to her safety and image. They make or break an escort, ensuring that her security is paramount and reputation intact. A good driver not only acts as a person to check-in with, but he gets you to appointments on time and in one piece. He is also present to pick you up after an encounter, meaning that you never have to wait for a pick up in uncomfortable conditions or circumstances. A security guard may actually walk you to the door of an outcall or check in with you if your encounter runs long or he hears suspicious noises. The presence of both of these individuals can mean that you will be taken more seriously as an escort and will intimidate any client with misdeeds on his mind.
- Your children’s teachers or school establish the happiness of your family. It is important at all times to uphold a good impression, not only so your children will be accepted and appreciated, but also so that you will never give a teacher reason to suspect that anything is amiss in your household. Maintaining a good image with the school may help you avoid reports to children’s services if your child knows too much or talks about Mommy getting home too late, for instance. If your secret escapes, your children could be left open to ridicule and discrimination at school. When you’ve maintained a good reputation with your children’s school, administrators may be unwilling to believe the rumors and/or will protect your children from peer abuse.
- Friends and family can mean the most. Unless they’ve already cut all ties due to being judgmental of the truth, friends and family are the most important relationships anybody has. Even though it’s difficult to make time for family events and simple gatherings with friends, it’s worthwhile to continue with these traditions. The general support and love you get from the ones closest to you keep you going, no matter what. They understand, appreciate and enjoy you, despite anything else going on in your life. Allowing the demands of your job to interfere with your personal relationships is easy to do, but it’s important to do your best to avoid this practice. Your friends and family members help provide that necessary balance your life requires between work and pleasure; they will be around long after your escorting career ends. Set aside opportunities to nurture these relationships.
- Obviously, the escort/client relationship is one that requires special attention. Without your clients, you don’t have a business. Your clients are sometimes the most difficult to establish relationships with. They know they are not supposed to become attached to you, and they recognize that your encounters with them are business relationships. But, even business colleagues can appreciate one another and enjoy conducting business together. Emphasize your fondness for your clients by not only complimenting them regularly, but by remembering their comments and conversations from encounter to encounter. Allow them to feel that they matter to you and that you think what they feel and say is important. Clients who feel appreciated are likely to come back for more, becoming regular clients.
- An escort may have few or many vendors that she does business with regularly. And, while close, personal relationships may not be necessary with each of them, it’s nice to maintain friendly communications. Your webmaster, photographer, costume maker or sex toy sales consultant are important people to your career throughout a year. You don’t have to talk to them daily, or even weekly, but ensure that you drop a line now and again. If you ever need a rush on a service they provide, they are more likely to help you if they recognize who you are.
- An escort’s seamstress helps her look like a million bucks. Most escorts don’t have the funds to purchase custom-made clothing that is tailored to their measurements. However, many escorts can afford to have their clothing altered for a custom look. Great-looking quality garments can be bought off the rack (at thrift stores, nonetheless) and fixed to fit perfectly. Pants may need hemming, a blouse could be shortened or taken in slightly or a dress let out in the bust. These small changes to items can make an item that wasn’t perfect to start with look exactly the way you want it to, for much less. But, an expert seamstress is required, and sometimes difficult to find. Once you find one, pay her well and give her regular business. Complain only when really necessary, and dole out praise for her quality efforts.
- Hairdressers put the finishing touches on escorts so they look the way they are expected to. Covering up roots, trimming split ends and styling unruly hair can help an escort look polished and coiffed in no time flat. But, a good hairdresser is a treasure to keep and value. Let her know that you appreciate her efforts through generous tips and praise. Always arrive on time with clean hair. Don’t arrive sweaty or in a fog of perfume. Brush your teeth ahead of time or pop a breath mint. Provide to her the same hygiene courtesies you expect of your clients. Additionally, attempt to schedule appointments ahead of time; hairdressers don’t appreciate spur-of-the-moment appointments.
- Consider maintaining positive relationships with other escorts. Even though you don’t actually conduct business with them (unless you engage in threesome encounters), it’s a good idea to remain friendly with other high-end escorts in your area. Not only can you share insights and funny/frustrating anecdotes, but you can also warn each other about bad or unsavory clients. You can watch each others’ backs, and fill in for each other when you’re unavailable, on vacation or ill.
- Your partner is someone you should strive to uphold a strong relationship with. Being the boyfriend or girlfriend of an escort is not an easy chore. Knowing that your significant other is regularly engaging in not only affection, but also sexual intimacy, with others is a hard pill to swallow. Partners are required to be patient and ultra understanding. As a result, you may have to cut them a little slack once in awhile. Value the fact that your partner tolerates and accepts your lifestyle and career. Be thankful that he is loyal and true to you. Give him bonus points if he supports your wishes and doesn’t nag you to quit your job.
- Finally, one last relationship to consider nurturing is the one you have with your therapist. The escort world is a difficult one with pressures and issues that few people understand. It’s uncomfortable to share your troubles with supportive friends outside of the industry, but a therapist provides you with a judgment-free zone to express your fears, frustrations, elations and thoughts. Embrace this relationship with an effective therapist by paying for your sessions on time, showing up when you’re supposed to and engaging in the activities he or she recommends.