Many escorts arrive in the business more or less by accident. A job lost or a long period of unemployment can mean that a girl considers her options and decides to give escorting a try. Other girls go into the business quite deliberately but without knowing much about how the escorting world actually works.
by Hannah Jay
In both cases girls arrive in escorting without really understanding how escorting has evolved as a business. This can lead to significant mistakes. It can also lead to a situation where a girl is unaware of the options which she has in the escorting business.
To “move up”, to get more money for your time, to attract a better class of client, to have a far more enjoyable working experience is all about understanding a few, simple but essential, concepts. Girls who move up usually understand that escorting is as much about the “sizzle” as the steak. But figuring out how to make that work is the difference between the girls barely scraping by and those glamorous girls in the perfect condos with the nice cars and the pretty clothes.
So, a few concepts which will let you move up.
Escorting is a service business
What’s the difference between a fast food restaurant, a sports bar and a fine dining restaurant? After all, they all serve food. But somehow an eight dollar lunch at a fast food restaurant is different from a twenty five dollar lunch at a sports bar and an eighty dollar lunch at “Le Belle Epoque”.
Obviously there are differences in the quality of the ingredients. But the bigger differences are found in two areas: first, décor – the fast food restaurant, if you are lucky, is clean and brightly lighted. A sports bar will have memorabilia on the walls and dozens of TVs to let you watch the game. “Le Belle Epoque” will have low lighting, white linen and original art. The second is service: there is none in a fast food restaurant, in a sports bar a server will tell you the specials, take your order and ask if you are enjoying your meal just as you are taking a bite from your burger, at “Le Belle Epoque” from the moment you book your reservation you are a “somebody”. You are often greeted by name by a maître’ d, seated carefully, offered a little “bonne d’amuse” while you look over the menu. Your waiter will give you recommendations if you ask for them and the sommelier will suggest wine pairings which compliment you menu choices.
For a girl who wants to move up the restaurant example illustrates how the “non-food” aspects of a service business really matter. The better, more lucrative end of the escort market, wants an experience rather than just a hamburger and fries on a tray.
Not every girl can go from being a service provider to a courtesan class escort. But most girls can up their game a notch or two and improve their sales and their markups.
Are you worth it?
Whether you are working as a $100 an hour service provider or a $1000 an hour high end girl what you think of yourself sets the expectations of your clients. Girls who move up are all about knowing their services are worth what they are charging.
The funny part is that you may be able to kid your clients along for a while but you know. You will know if what you are doing is the best you can do or if you are “just phoning it in.”
So why are you worth it? To go back to the restaurants: whether it is fast food or gourmet dining, being the best at what you do means you are worth what you are charging. A great customer experience can occur in the most down market dollar a slice pizza place just as easily as in a “book three months ahead” foodie nirvana.
Great service, enthusiasm, attention to detail and actually paying attention to the client are all critical elements wherever you are on the escort scale. If you know you are committed to doing the best job you can in the circumstances you are in, your client will “get it”. But if you are surly, off hand or project boredom your clients will get that too.
Moving up the luxury scale
Hiring an escort is a luxury purchase. Whether a man is paying $50 for a quickie or $5000 for a grand evening, he is spending his money on an experience which he could be spending on something else. He’s giving himself a treat. A reward.
There is a vast low rent market of men whose idea of a treat is a half hour with a girl who is not his wife. Service providers can make a living being that treat. But while ambitious girls may start at the fast food counter of the escort trade they soon set their sights higher.
In the down market end of the business everything is very, very basic. Dire selfies are more than enough to pull the trade. A pair of spandex shorts and a little tank top is all the packaging you need and small talk is at the “Would you like fries with that” level.
Kick it up a notch?
Start with your ad. Rather than offering the basic menu try making your services sound exciting. Lose the selfies in the spandex. Rather than putting yourself out there as a basic sort of girl who takes care of basic sorts of needs, let your imagination run a bit. Changing a few words in your ad can take you from ordinary to enticing.
Then look at your pictures – basic is fine but working with a good photographer can add a layer of sophistication. Remember that men are visual creatures.
Moving up from basic service provider to a mid-range escort is not a big step for most girls. It is really about presentation and pricing. You can’t raise your prices without upgrading your presentation. Starting with your advertising makes sense. Now, what about “you”.
Three inexpensive moves
Too many girls assume that escorting at the higher end requires a big investment. After all, that luxury incall, those designer dresses and all that pretty silk lingerie don’t cost nothing. Which is true but you can make a few moves which will change your client’s experience and make him sure that he is really getting the luxury experience your advertising promises.
This might sound trivial but a tidy one bedroom apartment with a few attractive pieces of furniture and a cute bedroom is really all a girl needs. A vase full of fresh flowers moves things up a notch – and the nice thing is that you can ask a client to bring you flowers. A couple of fresh fluffy towels, crisp, clean sheets and you are on your way. Make sure you have some music, soft jazz works well.
For even a modest apartment to look lux the key is minimalism and good lighting. Everything you need is likely at your local thrift store and a couple of garage sales. If you want to get extravagant, go to Ikea. Lighting needs to be incandescent, low wattage and from table lamps. At all costs avoid clutter, but embrace candles. The plainer the furniture the more you, the star of the show, will stand out.
Once you have the basics, don’t be afraid to scour Craigslist for upgrades. It is amazing the amount of really nice designer furniture shows up at 20% of retail. When you are moving up there is no obvious place to say “OK, I’m done.”
Next, how do you dress for your dates? What does a moving up girl replace the spandex shorts and tank tops with? Or, to put it another way, what can you wear to re-enforce your client’s sense of luxury?
Clothes are signals. How you dress tells the world, and your clients, who you are. Now there are lots of clothes in the world which are overtly “sexy”. But lux girls almost never wear them. The further up the food chain you go the further away from overtly “sexy” your wardrobe needs to be. Pages can be written on dressing to impress but what you want to try to do as you move up is create a couple of outfits which you can easily wear for a variety of dates.
Where ever possible wear a skirt or a dress. There is nothing more feminine. Your clients are buying a feminine fantasy and a girl in a skirt is already more feminine than most of the women he deals with daily. Go for very, very simple. A really gorgeous little black dress, nice stockings and a pair of high, but not too high, heels takes five minutes to put on and can travel anywhere. Even if you have perfect legs, wear a skirt length which is comfortable. You, not your skirt, should decide when your client sees your stockings tops. And, yes, real stockings: pantyhose are the work of the anti-sexy devil.
LBD are everywhere when you start looking. No need to spend thousands or even hundreds: contemporary and vintage consignment as well as thrift stores are great sources.
While you are looking for the LBD keep your eyes peeled for a nice pencil skirt and a couple of white, cotton, shirts. (And you never know, pretty cashmere sweaters have been known to turn up.)
When you are shopping for moving up outfits look for natural fabrics – cotton, wool, linen and even silk. Yes, manmade fibers can work; but it you take a look at what lux girls actually wear there is a huge bias towards natural.
Just like décor, your wardrobe is a moving target. Once you have a few basics, make a point of checking in at a couple of your favorite shops regularly. If you keep your colour palate narrow it will not take you long, or cost you much, to have a wardrobe which has four or five killer outfits. Again, minimalism is key. Avoid patterns, fringes, elaborate stitching and overelaborate tailoring. Not only are those hard to wear, they are also hard to care for.
Accessories and jewelry need to be plain and unfussy. If you are doing outcalls a larger bag is often needed for things like candles, a bit of music, a toy or two – but there is a difference between a big handbag and a suitcase. Err on the smaller side. If you are wearing jewelry try to limit it to earrings – studs are best – and a bangle or bracelet. You are always right to leave something off.
Own an iron. Simple clothing looks even better when it isn’t wrinkled. (So do sheets.) Rather than spending a fortune on dry cleaning, buy clothes you can take care of yourself.
Lingerie. There is nothing less lux than a pretty girl in ratty underwear. Again, you are moving up and details matter. The lovely thing about lingerie is that there are almost always gentlemen more than happy to accompany you on your explorations of the higher end of the lingerie world. It is just the sort of date the clients you are aspiring to enjoy.
At the same time, while you are waiting for that lovely man with the lingerie fetish, a couple of simple things can enhance your lingerie wardrobe. Do not buy molded cup bras. Ever. Pay a little extra for sewn cups: no matter what size your breasts are they will look much better with the actual support a well-made, sewn cup bra provides. Second, avoid thongs. While they can look fine under your skirt, they look awful when your skirt comes off. Boy shorts, tap panties, briefs, all provide a little cover. You may very well have the cutest bum in the world but it will be twice as cute if you leave more than a little to the imagination.
Proper stockings require proper garter belts which, by the way, go on before the panty. Finding great garter belts is not easy but vintage consignment stores and Ebay are good sources. The point about a garter belt is that it has to fit and it has to stay up. The lacy little bits of elastic sold in the sex shops are a waste of money.
Once you get past the basics, an escort’s clients are looking for, and willing to pay for, something out of the ordinary. Providing that experience is what makes the difference between the lower end of the business and the middle and higher reaches of the profession.
Making the transition overnight is nearly impossible; however, over a month or two a girl can easily go from being a basic service provider to a girl who clients are more than happy to pay very well indeed. Once a girl begins on this path she’ll find that her clientele changes.
Reaching the middle or even the upper middle tier of the escorting business is often more than enough for an ambitious girl. However, moving up from the comfortable middle tier has its attractions. For a certain sort of man, a beautiful, enthusiastic, skilled lover is the icing on his already well baked cake. She is his reward for the big deal closed, the lawsuit won, the merger completed. Her fees are incidental. What he wants is the lovely sense that he is at the top of his game.
While there are girls who work in what might be described as the ultra-high end, there are not many simply because it is very difficult to access a steady stream of these “money is no object” clients. Plus those clients are concentrated in places like New York and LA and many girls can’t afford the start up costs of living in these world cities. But there is another way.
Escorts at every level have regulars and those regulars are the backbone of a successful escorting business. However, some escorts evolve their business so that they become what amounts to part time mistresses to one or more of their well heeled clients.
The essential difference between an escort and a part-time mistress lies in the fact that an escort is paid per encounter whereas a mistress is paid an allowance with an agreed upon number of encounters per month. Typically a mistress can expect an allowance sufficient to cover her rent and generous expenses in exchange for one or two visits a week. It is still a business arrangement but it provides a degree of stability even regulars can’t.
Becoming a mistress is about identifying potential patrons. While a patron may come from an escort’s existing roster of clients, there is no reason not to look outside your clientele. Using online advertising to find a “man of distinction” who is looking for a “mistress type” relationship is one route. Another is a bit more old fashioned – you can place an ad in a print newspaper. Something fun like “Muse looking for a grateful patron. Art, fashion, fun. Over 50 only. Discretion expected and assured.” will make your message clear.
Becoming a man’s mistress is more like becoming his girlfriend than it is like the typical escort encounter. You’ll want to meet, have a couple of dates, reach an agreement as to your allowance and his visits and have the first installment of your allowance in hand before there is any thought of activities between consenting adults. Of course you need to be clear that the arrangement is non-exclusive, but you don’t need to be all that open about the fact you may have a couple of patrons and still entertain regulars from time to time. Many men would love exclusivity but will balk at the price – which should not be less than you best month as an escort times two.
As a mistress you are your patron’s secret extravagance. The weekly treat which he is delighted to give himself. When you have moved up the escorting ladder to the point where you are a mistress you have maximized your income and your treats and minimized the risks of the business. Law enforcement is no longer a worry, reviews are not an issue, random dates are few and far between.
You have moved up and you have arrived.