Ah, what in the world to do? An escort, even a busy one, will find herself with time on her hands. You can structure your business to be busier and thus more lucrative, but lets face it, it just isn’t a twelve hour day any way you cut it. What you do in your spare time is a choice of course. But you can either waste it or work it to your advantage.
by Hannah Jay
An ambitious escort uses her off time to improve her marketability and her skills. Whether you are working part-time or full-time, an escort needs to take time for herself. From an outside perspective, escorting seems like the easiest enterprise, but those in the business know that it can be physically and mentally taxing. And if you don’t care of both body and mind, you aren’t going to be in the escort biz for long. So, sit back, relax, and keep reading.
Men visit escorts for a wide variety of reasons and while most escort dates end much the same way, adding value can make the difference between a client having a so-so experience, and a client eager to come back again. The more an escort brings to her encounters, the more likely she is to have loyal (and generous) clients. So rather than surfing the net or reading fashion magazines ,you, as an ambitious escort, can start using your downtime to be productive.
The further up the client ladder you go, the more your clients will expect from you. Knowing a little about the world is a huge asset. Basic things like headline news, how the economy is doing, which local sports teams are winning, is one side of the equation. And it is a side which will let you carry on a conversation and ask intelligent questions over cocktails.
There are terrific resources online which will keep you in the information loop. Simply scanning Google News once a day will keep you up to date. Remember that reading about issues gives you a knowledge base in order to interact with others. Discussion, debates, differing opinions and viewpoints all serve to expand your world and your attitudes. But bear in mind, spending too much time online means you may miss the stimulation which real live humans can give.
The other side of being informed on the big issues, is the softer, more feminine world of food, fashion, design, wine, and books. You don’t have to be an expert, rather you need to learn your own tastes.
So how do you do this? Get the basics down pat, and then get good at something. Really dig into a subject that gets you excited. Then you can delve further into your favourite aspects, and then get really good at it. Yes, practice, practice, practice—and you will eventually acquire a specialty or a specialization. For instance, you love to bake? Great! Bake cookies, bake bread, bake macaroons. Read cookbooks, scour Food52, TheKitchn and SmittenKitchen for starters. Figure out what you love to make most (cheesecake? pie?) and make them until you can do so like a master, like a machine. Make as many flavours and variations as there is time and recipes for. You know the old adage that it takes 100 hours of practice to do something well? So, get started. Now. Whatever gets you moving with a spring in your step is what you want to be doing. And getting to know IT is really a way of getting to know YOU.
Not every subject you explore is going to stick. But the ones that do are the ones that are in sync with something deep within you. This can be a source of fun, a hobby, a distraction; or it can be life-changing. You may, for example, discover you have an eye for design, then go on to learn that your penchant is for sleek, simple, modern lines. In furniture, in décor, in art, in your wardrobe choices. You become a more interested and interesting human being because you suddenly see the world around you in a whole new way. This opens up ideas, doors, and is often the springboard for life shifting decisions. The kind of exciting, adrenaline-racing moves that succeed because they are based on self-knowledge rather than based on whims or whimsy. Your drive and focus is like a magnet, bringing new people into your sphere, and in turn you have something to offer as you enter theirs.
How does this tie back to improving your life as an escort and your escort business? Well, you absolutely sparkle because your life is much more than the girl men pick from a sexy ad for a service they seek. Ironically, having a big life not at all attached to the escort trade makes you likely to be much more successful at it. Your escorting business, is similar in many ways to the modeling industry. You get chosen from a photo, booked, you show up (or they do), you look pretty, and it’s a job based virtually entirely on the superficial. Yet if you are (much, much) more than merely a pretty face and an available body, you won’t take it personally if someone else is chosen over you, and you regard escorting in business terms, not personal. The layers of knowledge and the skills you develop in your off hours are the ones that only those who come to know you are privy to. For others, they get glimpses of something more than that which meets the eye. Your client invites/hires you to a dinner date; you know which restaurants are best; you know what to order because you know what you like; and the wine list is not some indecipherable hieroglyphic document because you know about grapes and matching food with wine. The client, in your capable hands, is guided to a fabulous experience, as well as a fabulous meal. He’ll remember the evening, and remember you in particular. In fact, you might not last long as an escort, because some smart and perceptive man is going to snatch you up, you gem, and make you his mistress, girlfriend, or wife. We romantics still believe in happily ever after. But we also believe we make our own luck. You’ve used your spare time to make yours. Hurrah!
Many people consider their education as essentially finished when they have graduated from high school or college. This does not have to be true, even if you are an escort. Particularly if you ARE an escort, in fact. Taking a course or a certificate, or even an entire college degree, will enhance your life and your marketability as an escort. Simply having interesting things to talk about as a result of what you are learning will add a dimension to your clients’ experience with you. Having a degree, or working on one, will make you more marketable. An escort ad with the word “educated” in it stands out from the pack.
Alternatively, rather than taking random courses which interest you, think about the possibility of taking a certificate course which will give you skills. What do you like to do? Whether it is woodwork or soapmaking, having an escort’s income and schedule lets you take courses which will give you skills for your post-escort life, or which will allow you to set up a sideline business to test and get off the ground while you still have your escorting income to fall back on.
The difference between a class and a course is that a class will teach something pretty self-contained. In most cities, classes are available for everything from basic webpage design to knitting to art.
While most classes are offered in the evenings and are potentially a scheduling nightmare for a busy escort, there are usually others to be found during the day and on weekends. So, with a bit of planning, an escort can learn what she wants, or needs to, in a way that doesn’t interfere with her schedule. Most escorts have their mornings free, so taking a college level course on anything from Chinese art to accounting will only take up a couple of those a.m. hours.
Some classes will further your knowledge in a subject you already know something about. You can work your smart phone, but can you get the most out of it? You can take a picture, but can you take a picture worth framing? Learning the basics of photography or graphic design gives an escort the ability to work proficiently with photographers and ad designers by speaking the industry jargon they understand. You can speak their language, as it were. Or you can cleverly learn to design your own ads and business cards. If you get really good at graphic design, there is also great potential in setting up a sideline business or working as a freelancer. A work from home gig allows you to work around your escort schedule while giving you another income stream.
Taking a make-up class can really make a difference in enhancing your look and your make-up application skills. Learning from real pros can let you take your basic make-up and adapt it to different escorting assignments – sultry evening looks are not the same techniques as those for a lunch date. Department stores often offer free makeovers, and although you are not obligated to buy the products, it is nice if you buy a little something, both as a way of compensating the clerk for her time, and so you can replicate the look at home.
From a business perspective, acquiring a basic proficiency in another language can be very lucrative for an escort. Language classes are easy to find, as are private tutors who will often come to your home to teach. If flexibility is what you need, a tutor is the route to take. Foreign speakers will often trade off time with you so you can practice your Italian with them, for instance, if they can practice their English with you. As an escort, you don’t have to know the written form of French or Chinese to charm the generous gentlemen from these areas. Learning basic conversational versions of in-demand languages gives an escort a competitive edge. And it’s just darn useful: you can travel, you can translate, you can order. Translated: freedom, money, survival. Yep, a pretty good skill to have.
Because you make your money from escorting, you can afford to take on intern jobs which pay little or nothing but provide experience and also fill in any chronological gaps in your resume. Having an intern gig, or a series of gigs, means that your resume will have entries during the time you have been escorting. No small thing if you eventually are looking for a job. From an escorting perspective, the best thing about interning is that since you are not being paid, you can usually set your hours to mesh with your escorting schedule.
If you want to know more about the fashion business or interior decorating or public relations, keep an eye out for intern jobs. When jobs do come up, it is often the eager intern who has already learned the ropes, who is hired. Better still, use that escort moxie and create an intern job where there isn’t one. Pick a business where you think you would like to work and where interning would teach you something you’d like to know, and pitch them your idea. Even if your only skill is enthusiasm, on the right day that might be just what they need. (One word of caution: that escorting client who happens to be the PR manager for a large company? Don’t ask him for an intern position. It’s awkward and blurs too many lines. You can ask if he knows of any PR shops looking for an intern. My bet is he will be thrilled to help.)
Very similar to interning, but usually more charitable – or service – oriented. For the escort, a three-hour-a-week commitment visiting the elderly or helping at a food bank is unpaid time that is rewarding in other ways, and overall beneficial for her mental balance and general sanity. The escort lifestyle can become unreal very, very quickly. Volunteering for a few hours will reconnect you back to the reality of the day to day. It also reconnects you with who you are as a person, not as an escort.
If you want to gain by doing good, (tsk, tsk), volunteer to sort merchandise at your local thrift or consignment store. Most sorters are allowed to have first dibs on choicer items – your collection of stockings, vintage garter belts, girdles, and stunning sleepwear will soon be overflowing your closets. Some shops even have staff discounts. Because you are an escort, you have the time to volunteer and so you should take advantage of the opportunity. Some girls who have the thrifting bug and a great eye, make a goodly amount of cash by reselling retro items for a substantial profit. Used(your city).com and your local craigslist are the way to advertise your goods for free and connect you with your potential buyers.
For obvious reasons, exercise is (or should be if it isn’t) a priority to an escort. Staying in shape has more benefits than just a tight tummy and a pert bottom. It means staying healthy in a stressful environment. Even a daily walk in the park will make you fitter. Taking time away from your escort business is essential for health and general happiness.
For some women, the gym is the solution. An hour every couple of days devoted to a stepper or a stationary bike will work off those high end dinners. Look at very light weight training. Nothing will tone up your arms and legs faster than weights but make sure you get good advice. Remember that getting sore is not the same as getting strong. Get help. Time with a personal trainer will let you set up the best possible exercise regime. And since you are paying for the equipment and the services, this monetary commitment encourages you to show up even when your motivation may lag. The gym scene is not for everyone, however, so look into yoga, dancersize, Pilates, and other fitness classes. Walking, running, and cycling groups will give you comradery and the motivation to move.
As helpful as group-driven activities may be, there is also a lot to be said for the self-propelled program. Doing your errands on a bicycle will give you a workout without really even noticing it. So will walking rather than driving. Sure, if you are going to an escort date downtown and you are wearing four inch heels, a cab is the way to go, but whenever you can, leave the car at home. Or, better still, if you live in a city with a good transit system, sell the car and save the money. Even budgeting for a monthly cab allowance is cheaper than gas, maintenance, insurance, and parking.
An escort’s look is a key part of the package she presents. But even though grooming is important, it doesn’t mean it can’t be fun as well. A regular mani/pedi and wax for all the important bits is basic. But why not combine it with a facial, a good soak in a mineral- rich deep spa tub and followed with a full massage? Yes, spa services are an extravagance; but often if you ask nicely, you would be surprised at how many men would be delighted to fund your pampering as a prelude to their own.
A great haircut can rocket you several price points up the escort scale; but you have to maintain the cut, the colour, and the condition. Again, yes it is pricy, but for an escort, her grooming can be the difference between a $100 an hour and a $300-$500 fee. Just a more polished, head-turning you. Play the game and look like you’re worth it.
When you are going to the spa or the salon turn your escort smart phone off. Take early appointments so you can relax without worrying about missing a potential booking. (And, if you are on a travel date, make sure you negotiate spa time as part of the deal. If you don’t ask, you won’t get.)
A huge problem escorts face is burnout (anxiety, depression, lack of energy or ambition). Doing much the same thing day after day, especially where there is a good deal of intimacy with comparative strangers, a degree of risk, and a lack of privacy, can all add up and leave an escort drained at the end of the week.
To build up reserves of inner strength, a practice of Mindfulness is a habit an escort can cultivate. It is not difficult and there is no right way to achieve it; rather it is the capacity to be still and reflect inwardly. It is a way to process the events of the day– the encounters, the conversations, the actions– to mull them over put them in their place, and have a state of inner peace about all that transpired. Meditation is another practice helpful for escorts. To be quiet means silence in your environment and in your mind. Setting aside a few minutes every day to sit still and think about absolutely nothing takes you out of the world of goals, and achievements, and commitments. Interestingly, the personal benefits of both practices, also extends to your escorting business because it gives you an ability to handle yourself and others with a degree of gentleness and openness.
Someone to Talk To
People in high performance, high pressure, confidential jobs – lawyers, doctors, judges, spies – are encouraged to have a professional confidential listener available to them. Professional listeners range from psychiatrists through counselors all the way to priests and spiritual directors. Professional listeners let the people they listen to unload their “stuff” in a safe, private, non-judgmental setting. In some cases the people they listen to have real issues which they are working through, in others the listening is not issue driven.
As an escort, you often join the ranks of the professional listeners. You hear your client’s secrets, their hidden fantasies, how their marriages are faring and, from time to time, you provide consolation and, often, healing. But who hears, consoles and heals you? Sometimes meditation, mindfulness, and exercise are just not enough to relieve your stress. If your escorting is a business you prefer to keep private, friends are sadly not part of your support system. And your clients are not paying you to talk about yourself. So, who do you talk to? Who listens to you?
For an hourly rate, there are lots of counselors whose job it is to listen. No judgment, just the occasional question to keep the ball rolling. Checking in once or twice a month for an hour’s chat about how you are doing can make the difference between escort burnout and a healthy, unconflicted attitude.
No money to spare on such a session? Or not really wanting or willing to? Buy a pen and a notebook. Start a journal. Talk to yourself in the pages. You will be amazed at how, in the act of writing your life, things become clearer, problems start to sort out, and you gain a fresh, new perspective. After all, nobody knows you better than you do.