No matter why a girl decides to escort she always wants to avoid some of the pitfalls of the business. Staying safe, avoiding unnecessary law enforcement issues, finding great clients and actually enjoying the world’s oldest profession are all achievable goals. So is making good money and having a lot of control over you time and your life. But they all begin with a “no regrets” strategy.
by Hannah Jay
Staying in control of your situation is critical to the no regrets strategy. From the decision to begin escorting to how you manage your time to basic safety and dating etiquette you are either in charge of your business or someone else is. Like any other business, escorting is subject to changes in the market, price and service competition, and unanticipated opportunities. A no regrets strategy means an escort is positioned to respond to those changes and take advantage of the opportunities which come her way.
At the heart of a no regrets strategy are three key tactics – planning, routine and communication. The idea of having a “standard operating procedure” may seem a bit unspontaneous but, in fact, it provides the secure environment in which your encounters can be successful, lucrative and, often, fun.
Most of all, a “no regrets” strategy begins with a bit of thinking and planning. Everything from your escort persona to your services to your booking routine are in your control which means you have to think about them. It is all too easy to “stumble” into escorting to make this month’s rent or because it sounds like a great way to make a bit of extra money. Even if you entered the business this way rather than as a deliberate decision, it is still very worthwhile to align your business with a no regrets strategy.
Here are a few “no regrets” tips.
There is nothing more likely to cause real regret than a lack of safety. And safety starts long before it comes time to put on the party hat for activities between consenting adults. Creating your own safety is about layering. After all, before you ever speak to a potential client you have advertising out in the world.
The most obvious no regret policy is not to escort under your real name. No great insight there. But what about pictures? Your face may be your fortune but it is also easily identified. If you are putting up an ad on the internet you need to be aware that any picture you post is going to be out on the ‘net permanently. Is that what you want? And will it be what you want in five years?
It is very possible to take gorgeous pictures with your head turned just enough to render your face unrecognizable. A bit of back lighting and you can leave a hint without putting your identity out in the world. (And paying a bit of attention to things like tattoos is never a bad idea. The beauty on your thigh may end up posted to a forum and then used to identify you.)
Being a bit vague as to services provided is important in an ad going to a general audience. Again, “no regrets” means keeping control of the situation at every step of the way. By being a bit vague in your advertising you give potential clients a reason to either call you direct or go to your website.
In your advertising, while it is smart to be vague on services, there is no reason at all to be shy about the sorts of clients you want to see or won’t see. Go ahead, be specific. “Older gentlemen only”, “successful businessmen please”, “prefer Asians” are all good ways to select clients. “Out calls only to select hotels” sends a message.
No regrets pricing is also a great idea. While there are times when an escort may have to have low rates to make some quick money, most girls regret letting their time go for less than it is worth. Keeping your prices at or above the average other girls in your city are charging will eliminate the time wasters and bottom feeders. Your prices send a message and “no regrets” means sending the right message.
No regrets first contact
Whether by phone, email or text, first contact with a new client is as much about your safety and protection as it is about making a date. The old Mark Twain line about “No one was ever hung for something they didn’t say” is one side of the equation, the other side is getting a sense of the potential client and some verifiable details.
The first part of the equation is simple prudence: a lady does not discuss her services over the phone or electronically with a man she has never met and had not had the opportunity to verify. While she can certainly tease a little and flirt, she needs to make it very clear that no discussion as to services or pricing will take place until she has the opportunity to verify her caller’s identity.
Different escorts use different screening techniques. However, a minimum, “no regrets”, screening process requires that you get, at minimum, your potential client’s real name, a real phone number and a work number to verify. You can be very upfront about these requirements and any others you may have. Of course, you should promise, and maintain, discretion. Calling a place of business you need to have a good story – it can be as simple as calling from a restaurant to “confirm a reservation” or something equally innocuous.
Routine is critical when it comes to screening. Doing the same thing the same way will help to ensure that you miss as little as possible. With a name comes a Google search. You can find almost anyone if you have their full name and the city in which they live. What you want is verification that the person you have spoken to or texted exists. But there is lots of other information out there. You can sometimes find a current picture. And you can often find a current address and telephone number.
If you have the name of the potential client’s employer, Google to make sure the company or governmental department exists. If you are lucky, if you Google the name plus the employer you will get confirmation of employment without having to make a call. But if you can’t, then your routine needs to include the call.
Make sure you Google both the number he is dialing from which should be on your call display, the number he gives you for the call back and the work number. Again, you are just verifying. Even “private” or unlisted numbers will often show up in Google results – for example a number used in a Craigslist ad for a mountain bike can turn up with a real email address.
No regrets means that the information has to check out. What if it doesn’t? Well there are different levels of information “not checking out”. For example, if his phone number can’t be found by Google that is a question mark not a red flag. If everything else checks out and he is at the number he gave you when you call back it is likely not a problem. But if his place of work has never heard of him or there is no trace of that place of work on Google, that may be a place to stop.
(One thing to remember for no regrets escorting – your escort name, number and other details are harvested by Google too. Another great reason to have a separate “work” phone with a private number which you never use to sell your mountain bike on Craigslist.)
The same routine of full name, call back number, work number applies for text and email. With one critical element; no regrets means that you have to speak to the potential client before he arrives or you go on an outcall. While it is wonderful that we have electronic communication, the fact is that you can get much more of an idea about a potential client with three minutes on the phone. For example, a voice will tell you something about the age of the client, his education level and whether or not he’s calling after a few drinks. You’ll get a sense of whether he is nervous and how experienced he is with escorts.
No regrets is about trusting your instincts. If something does not “feel” right it probably isn’t. More importantly, if a potential date does not check out or sounds “weird” on the phone, why even think about seeing him. The minor regret about passing up your fee is balanced against the relief knowing that you are not going outside your own comfort zone. The money is replaceable, your safety and sense of safety are not.
Assuming that your potential client checks out calling back and setting up a rendezvous should be a relaxed, no hassle, experience. But remember, while you have screened the client you don’t “know” the client. No regrets means being wary. At this point the client is going to find out where your in call is or will set up an outcall. In either case it may be a good idea to do a final bit of screening.
If you are going into an outcall situation, checking out the location by phone is a good idea. If the out call is to a hotel, you simply call the front desk and ask to speak to “Mr. Smith”. Don’t give the front desk the room number unless asked. If you are connected you have confirmation that your client is registered. If the outcall is to a private residence, it is vital that you match the name of your client to that address. An old fashioned telephone book can help. Or you can go online. Either way, you want to know your client is attached to that address.
Many escorts have drivers who provide backup in out call situations. If you do make sure you have an established routine of a call after a set number of minutes. If you don’t have a driver you may want to arrange for a friend to call. And in both cases it is wise to have left the address you are going to with a trusted friend who you will call at a set time to confirm all went well.
Having a prescheduled call from your incall is also a good no-regrets strategy. A gentleman caller hearing you say, “No problem, I will call you in an hour and you can come over.”, will be on notice that you are expecting company and that they are aware of his visit.
No regrets encounters
While it is safety first and foremost, no regrets means understanding that you are in the service business. The service business is all about details. Get the details right and your business will be lucrative and often fun.
Whether in call or out, how you present yourself to a new or a regular client makes a huge difference. A client paying good money for time with an escort is indulging himself. He is paying for the fantasy that an attractive woman wants to spend time with him, possibly engage in consenting adult activities, and make him feel wonderful. How she accomplishes this is up to her but a few “no regret” concepts can really help.
No matter where your encounter occurs make sure you are wonderfully clean. It seems obvious but simply making sure you are showered, your hairs washed and your teeth are sparkling ensures that your encounter is off to a good start. And it is never a bad thing to take a little time to make sure your date is freshly showered. You would be surprised at how sensual many men find “being sent to the shower” before any consenting adult activities take place.
Note the word “sent”. No regrets escorting is all about being in charge. Right from the confirming phone call you need to be in control of your date. You set the rules and the pacing. Especially in a first encounter. Now you don’t have to be Ms. Domina, Kitten With a Whip; rather you are the professional in the encounter and that needs to be very clear from the outset. Simply telling your client what to do, where to sit, can establish a rhythm which will make sure he has a wonderful time and you remain inside your escorting comfort zone.
No regrets escorting always involves making sure you are paid promptly and in full. Different escorts have different ways of ensuring this is accomplished but the key piece is always that the money is exchanged before any hint of consenting activity occurs. While your screening process may seem flawless, there is always the chance you are dealing with law enforcement. Creating a situation in which money is not seen to be exchanged – for example the money left beside the sink in the bathroom in a hotel scenario, or on a hall table out of line of sight in your in call – may give you a bit of legal protection. As well, you want to be able to count and conceal your money. A bit of privacy is necessary for both.
Limits are always part of a no regret strategy. Most girls have hard limits on what they will do and many girls have soft limits on what they are comfortable with in a first encounter. The limits themselves are a matter of a girl’s own preferences; but the fact there are limits needs to be made very clear as early as possible. No regrets dates are all about communication. You do not want your client to be guessing when it comes to the point.
One important limit in this age of the smart phone is video and photography. You may have a hard limit which says leave your phone off; or you may be delighted to share your efforts with your client. But “no regrets” means recognizing that your efforts may end up all over the internet. What has been recorded can’t be unrecorded.
If all has gone well a “no regrets girl” still has some choices to make. The most basic of which is whether she wants to encourage her client to see her again. The no regrets default is that seeing someone a second time, and many times after that, is almost always a good thing simply because a lot of the screening, first time jitters, shyness and mixed expectations will no longer be a factor.
Men, being the funny creatures they are, often are eager to just get going after their encounter. Which needs to be taken into account. At the same time, if you enjoyed your client there is no reason not to give him a (discrete) business card. While the card may read “C. Murphy, Executive Placement” he’ll know what it really means. If you have a website make sure you have a members-only section and give him a password. No regrets at the early stages of a regular arrangement means that the communications need to be initiated by the client; but later sexy texts or even calls may have him coming back for more.
If you are a girl who is “reviewed” and you’ve had a great encounter, you’ll regret not asking for a review. If you don’t ask the answer is always “no”. On the other hand, if you don’t like the reviewing world, while you can’t stop your client from writing a review, you can certainly ask him not to.
Relax and grow your business
With a no regrets routine in place an escort is automatically de-risking her encounters. She knows her privacy is protected, her clients screened, her limits set. She can take the time to prepare for her dates and ensure that she’s in charge throughout her encounters.
Which means the no regrets escort can relax and pay attention to the things which will make her business thrive. She can improve her advertising, think of value added dates, cultivate a regular clientele and pay attention to the little things which will keep her clients coming back. Most of all, a no regrets girl can enjoy the money and freedom her escorting business can provide.