Jealousy, competition and lean times can contribute to hostility and bullying in any kind of business environment, but the escort industry is a very likely place for a feud to occur. Escorts often compare their successes (and failures) with those of other escorts in their markets, which creates feelings of animosity and envy. These emotions rarely cause an escort to act out against another, but it does happen. And, when it does, it can create real problems for the targeted escort.
The escort industry is an excellent breeding ground for personal feuds to erupt between professionals. The services provided by escorts are quite personal and take a good deal of inner strength to offer. Escorts take great pride in their work, and easily take things personally, when they should remember that they are engaged in business.
Bullying against escorts can occur in many different forms. Because all escorts work with clients using their mobile phones, it’s really no surprise that a number of conflicts arise from phone or text confrontations. Hang-ups, rude calls and mean texts can quickly escalate to more serious communications that evolve into full-fledged bullying or harassment. Threats against escorts (by fellow escorts) may promise police reports, lies to clients and violence. Rumors about an escort having STDs, robbing clients and using drugs either before or during encounters are common when escorts have feuds. Sometimes, a lie about an escort providing bad service is all it takes to steer clients away. Harassment may even escalate to in-person confrontations and physical altercations.
Sometimes an escort will find herself in a feud with another, without knowing how or why it’s occurred. After realizing that there is a conflict and associated problems, an escort can take many forms of action. Here are some ways to deal with a feud:
- Ignore it. Many times, an angry, jealous or petty escort is just venting or letting off some steam. It’s pretty easy to get caught up in someone else’s drama when she’s sticking her nose in your business. But, it’s best to simply ignore any rude comments, snide texts or angry phone calls. Typically, anytime that bullying of any sort occurs, the agitator is looking for a reaction out of his or her target. If her actions don’t evoke a response from you, it’s likely that she will quit her harassment. Additionally, reacting to a bully’s comments may only instigate further retaliation, igniting a full-fledged war between the two of you.
- Keep and document all correspondence between you and your harasser. Save each and every mean and obscene text; store your nasty voicemail messages and keep a folder full of the hateful emails you receive. Additionally, keep a diary or a listing of every phone call you receive from her and specify the content of the conversation. Do the same for in-person confrontations. Depending on the number of communications and confrontations she has with you, your documentation can eventually create a good case for a harassment suit or criminal charges. However, as you save these messages, don’t give into the urge to listen to and read them over and over, again. They will only bring you down or anger you. You’re not keeping evidence of correspondence for you; you’re retaining it for future use, if necessary.
- Block emails, texts and phone calls from your enemy. When you don’t see it, you don’t have to consider replying to it. Additionally, what you don’t read or hear can’t hurt you. Blocking communications with your bully will prevent her from contacting you in any form. If she can’t contact you, she can’t actively bully you. A program called Mr. Number is one example of a method that you can use to block calls and texts, perform reverse lookups and receive Caller ID information on your Android phone. Several other call blocking methods exist, and many phones or mobile device providers can perform the blocking service for you, too. Most email clients will give you the option of filtering your inbox, as well. You can label emails from your bully’s address as junk mail (where it will be filtered into a file where you can still access it if you want to) or block it all together.
- Avoid retaliation. When another escort has slandered your name, screamed obscenities to you over the phone or threatened you via email, it’s more than tempting to retaliate in a similar manner. However, retaliation may only up the ante in your bully’s mindset. She may take your retaliation as a challenge and increase her efforts to make your life hell. Additionally, resorting to lower standards isn’t defending yourself; it’s only providing fodder that can make you look bad. Take the high road and deny that urge to seek revenge. If your clients hear that you’ve said bad things to or threatened another escort, they may think less of you. However, if they’ve heard that you avoided further conflict by refusing to get sucked into the drama, they may be even more impressed with you than they were to begin with.
- Do damage control when necessary. Even though it’s wise to avoid getting involved, it is sometimes required. When public postings have been created telling clients that you’re a drug-addled escort who spreads herpes, for instance, it may become important to rebut these accusations. However, there are some rules you should follow when doing damage control. The first rule to consider is to always stay positive. Don’t stoop to anyone else’s level and take cheap shots at another while you’re attempting to repair your own reputation. Remain positive and speak of good things. Secondly, avoid directly responding to anything that has been posted or said about you. You can openly discuss your good traits and refute untrue rumors without directly addressing them. To do this, emphasize your honesty, abhorrence for drugs or whatever other stance will demonstrate that the accusations are false. Finally, rewrite your profiles and information on your website to indirectly deny rumors or lies. Post information that puts your image in a positive light, directing negative attention away and replacing it with positive details about your services, habits and lifestyle.
- Concentrate on providing quality service to your clients. To overcome negative feedback or rumors spread by your bully, give clients exceptional service. Outstanding encounters weigh much more than the rumors spread by a jealous escort who isn’t directly familiar with the kind of experiences you provide. Combat her false statements by creating such positive scenarios for clients that the good feedback they leave sweeps away any negative comments she provides about you. Additionally, working with direct intentions of giving the best service possible will help distract you from the negative and untrue rumors being spread about you. Conducting business as usual will help you move on.
- Avoid taking any harassment personally. It’s easy to take direct offense to someone’s criticism of your efforts and to be hurt when someone lies about you. However, keep in mind that the other escort is jealous of you or is angered about her own shortcomings. It really has nothing to do with you, personally. Additionally, the harassment isn’t about you being a good or bad person…it’s strictly business related. Many times, bullying is a personal issue between people caused by their differences. However, when you’re feuding with a fellow escort, it boils down to money or clients. Taking the negativity personally will only cause you more problems than you’re already incurring with your business.
- Keep your clients out of the middle. In situations where two escorts are battling it out, the clients are the ones in real danger of being maimed. They hear stories from both sides; they listen to each escort trash talk the other; and, they are typically asked to chose favorites. For clients who are loyal, long-term customers, taking a side is usually a no-brainer. However, some clients like to spread their business around and enjoy several escorts’ services. Clients are put between the escorts, paraded around as prizes and often played with as pawns. They may be promised special or free services for leaving bad reviews, spreading more rumors or engaging in the harassment. Avoid putting your clients in the middle of such a fight. Don’t tell them about the conflict, unless they ask. Don’t ask them to become involved; in fact, discourage them from entering into the fight, even if they insist on taking up on your behalf. Do a favor for your clients and keep them out of the situation.
- Report harassment to the site administrators. Sometimes, bullying occurs on a review site or other escort directory site. Often, forums or chat rooms are the scene of harassment. Regardless of where it occurs, if it’s happening online, attempt to contact the site administrators and report your harasser. Take screenshots of the disparaging posts or comments and provide them with your complaints. Most sites refuse to tolerate direct harassment between its members and will deactivate an account from a rules abuser. Site administrators don’t want their sites to be known for outright abuse of other users. They will usually attempt to stop the activities and right the wrongs by deleting abusive or harassing posts. If they refuse to help on our first complaint, don’t despair. Submit another request for review, doing so until someone listens.
- Don’t be afraid to report serious threats or harassment to the police. Even though escorts are engaged in a career that is highly scrutinized by the authorities, law enforcement officers will never support the bullying of others. If you begin fearing for your safety, the welfare of your family or friends or the security of your belongings, due to threats or insinuations made by your harasser, don’t hesitate to report your fears to the police. Threats of violence are taken seriously by the authorities. Provide evidence through your phone records, text messages, emails and other confrontations to support your claims against your agitator. Even if no charges are filed, the heat from a police interview or visit may be enough to stop your bully from further contact. And, if your bully is serious about her threats, your report may be enough to stop her from severe action against you.