It happens to everyone, escorts and non-escorts alike. Personal problems erupt and turn our lives upside down. And, unfortunately, escorting doesn’t usually come with sick days, personal leave or vacation time that you can use to sort out the details of your life.
When personal issues get in the way, it’s difficult to get past them and work each day. Often, the last thing you want to do is smile and put on a happy appearance for your client when you’re sad, angry or confused over personal problems. Family illnesses or deaths, relationship conflicts, money issues and problems with your children can cause upheaval in your life that runs over into your career.
Regardless of how hard you try to just leave your problems at the door, they follow you into your daily work routines. And, few escorts are prepared to simply quit working while they are dealing with their problems. But, there are some things you can do to help make things easier while you’re enduring personal hardships. Here are some suggestions to try when you must work, but life gets in the way:
- Put things into perspective. Some problems are not as big as we perceive them to be when they first occur. A broken-down vehicle, a small money shortage or a kid with the flu are not disasters. While they may derail your lifestyle for a few days, odds are that your life is not going to be incapacitated by them. However, some problems are much more significant. The breakdown of your marriage, a death of a family member or a severe health diagnosis is a much more significant problem that may cause you real trouble. These are things that may wreak havoc on your life and your ability to work, both because they make it physically difficult to be present for encounters, and because you are not emotionally capable of working. Putting things into perspective can help you determine just how serious your problems are and how to deal with them effectively.
- Take a break from work if you can afford it. This is an option for only a very few escorts who have enough savings to be able to do this. Even if your break is just a long weekend or a couple of days, it may be enough to get the details of your life straightened out or for you to emotionally deal with your problems. Some problems may require you to take an extended leave from your clients. While you’re on a break from work, attempt to reduce elements in your budget that you can. Cut back on extras, avoid shopping trips, attempt to be more efficient with your utilities and travel less, if possible. Cutting back on expenses can help reduce the discrepancy between your normal budget and the savings you use up while you’re taking some time off.
- Consolidate your work time. Instead of working five or six days per week, reduce your work week to three days. You’ll likely have to work more hours in a day for three days to make up for scaling down your work week, but it may pay off in the long term by providing you with more blocks of free time to manage your personal issues. If you already work a shorter work week, attempt making it even shorter by cutting out one day and packing the other two days just a bit fuller, if possible. Some clients won’t go for this, especially if they are accustomed to a regular time that won’t fit into your new schedule. Explain to them that you’ve got issues you’re trying to work around, and they may suddenly become much more flexible, especially if they find out the adjustment is only temporary.
- Restrict your appointments to regular clients only. You know your regular clients, what they like and how to behave around them. New clients are puzzles and require more consideration. Getting to know a new client and making him or her feel comfortable can be challenging. And, by avoiding known challenges, your work schedule may seem lighter. Regular clients already have their own rhythms and routines with you. You don’t have to work at figuring out what they want or how they want the encounter to go. It’s not safe to say that you can simply go on “auto pilot” with regular clients, but it is appropriate to recognize that working with regular clients is likely to be much less stressful than accepting new clients when your life feels as though it’s in shambles.
- Work closer to your problems. Some escorts have sick family members in locations away from where they normally work or live. In order to visit or help take care of them, they must endure extremely long commutes to get back home to work. However, escorts have much simpler opportunities at their disposal because they do run their own businesses. You can work from virtually anywhere. Create some quick marketing and advertise yourself as available closer to where you must be to deal with your personal issues. If you live in Connecticut, but you must be in Massachusetts, for example, to help take care of a family member, attempt to find clients nearby. While you probably won’t attract as much business as you have at home immediately, some income is better than none.
- Analyze whether you’re really fit to be working. Some problems are so traumatic that they cause so much emotional upheaval that it’s nearly impossible to focus with clients. If you find that you’re either stretching yourself too thin by trying to do too much or that you’re so overly emotional that you can’t deal with clients, you need to take a break. Escorts who are too distraught to be working often provide bad service to clients through only going through the motions, lacking that personal touch or failing to do other things that are regular aspects of their services and have come to be expected. If you suspect that your clients are being shorted due to your attention being elsewhere, you may need to back off. Either that, or you need to suck it up and leave your problems at the door when you meet with clients. Your focus must be on your clients when you work; if you can’t muster up the ability to do that, you should take some time off until you can.
- Don’t share your problems with your clients. Occasionally, there will be a client who are so close to that you can share your problems with. However, keep in mind that the majority of your clients come to you to escape the real world and indulge in a bit of fantasy. The last thing they want to learn about during an encounter is your problem with the bank, your aunt’s illness or the custody battle you’re in with your ex. To be frank, most clients don’t care. They visit with you to make their lives better and to escape whatever problems they are having in their worlds. They get a chance to pretend that nothing is wrong during their time with you. They don’t want to be weighted down with your issues during an encounter. Even if you and your clients seem to have an emotional connection, it’s not real…it’s part of the escort/client relationship. Don’t turn to your clients for support.
- Ask for help. Even though you are advised against asking your clients for support, you should go to friends and family members for help. Whether you’re looking for emotional support or physical help, you may need to ask for it in order to receive it. If you’re looking after a sick loved one, consider asking other family members to help you out and take off some of the load. Sometimes, you may just need a shoulder to cry on, in which case, friends and family members should be available. When you have significant personal problems, it may take your effort and the effort of others to deal with the situation. Don’t be too stoic to ask for assistance when you need it. Asking for help can mean the difference between being able to continue with your life in some format or being so over-burdened that your life falls down around you in pieces.
- Take some time for yourself. Depending on the issues you are facing, you will need to take some time for yourself. If you’re simply stressed about your finances or a smaller worry, going and doing something for yourself may be enough to help de-stress yourself. For instance, go get a mani/pedi, go to a yoga class or simply take a much-earned bubble bath. If, however, your problems are more significant, you may need to take some time for yourself in order to cope or heal. Dealing with the loss of a loved one, a divorce or other problem may cause you so much trauma that you require time to heal. If this is the case, you must allow yourself some time to being able to deal with life. Until you do this, you are not going to be good as an escort to anyone.
- Consider getting mental health counseling. Some problems are so severe that you may need to seek out mental health counseling in order to overcome them. If you’ve been the victim of rape or a violent attack, a psychologist may be one who can help you get past issues related to your tragedy. Other problems that may be helped by a mental health professional are the loss of a loved one, long-term relationship break-ups or issues related to custody of your children. If time or your budget won’t allow you to seek out individual counseling, you may be able to join a support group for help. Many support groups exist for people who are mourning the loss of a family member or friend, embroiled in custody issues or have experienced the ending of a long-term relationship. Some support groups are ran by churches, while others are sponsored by other worthy organizations that want to help anyone who is suffering. Even if you don’t engage in the support group for long, it may be healthy to become involved a few times to simply know you aren’t the only one experiencing similar problems. And, if attending a support group in person isn’t for you, you may be able to find online forums associated with support groups where you can find virtual support for your problems.
Life can really throw curveballs which can turn our lives upside down. Escorts who rely heavily on their abilities to work regularly can be severely affected when life’s issues become so cumbersome that working is difficult. But, if you attempt to incorporate some of these concepts, you may find that you can balance your escort career and your personal life.