When you’re getting to know a client, it’s important to encourage them to reveal as much of their true personality as possible. Escorts should strive to make their clients comfortable, and part of that process includes getting the ball rolling for innocent chit chat that will take the initial awkwardness out of your meeting. Subjects for conversation should be somewhat universal and apply to nearly anyone you meet.
While some escorts ask questions that delve into a client’s personal life, most attempt to avoid topics that could leave the door open for clients to inquire the same about them. For instance, discussing details about his career, family or life may allow him to expect that these topics are available for him to explore with you, too. For instance, if you inquire about how many children he has and if he spends much time with them, he will automatically infer that you don’t mind discussing your own family. If you want to keep your personal details out of the conversation, stick to topics that avoid divulging any of your own information. Consider these ideas for conversation starters:
- Above all, ask questions, listen more and talk less.
- Sports is an excellent topic of conversation for many clients. Even if your client isn’t an avid team follower, he likely knows something about one of the sports being currently played. If he doesn’t, you learn something new about him through attempting to start this topic, too. (From here, you can ask what he is interested in, since he doesn’t follow athletics.) And, if your client is an enthusiastic sports fan, he will likely take the conversation forward from your initial question. You may find out more than you bargained for as he proceeds to quote stats, figures, predictions, etc. during your conversation about his favorite team. Even if his conversation extends beyond your knowledge, it may quickly become obvious that you’ve stumbled onto a topic that will always get him excited and put him at ease. Other times, for a client who isn’t as passionate about his team, the topic is good for a few minutes of casual conversation, which gets you to the next segment of your encounter.
- Current events and news stories are excellent subjects to talk about with a client. If you don’t pay attention to the news, you should start. In your community, there are many events, occurrences and activities that can stimulate conversation between you and your client, without getting into any subjects that might invite questions about your personal life. From new businesses in town to a recently passed ordinance by the city council, you can pick up relatable subjects to talk about. Current events could include activities scheduled in your community or a recent crime wave. In addition to local current events, focus on national or world happenings for ideas to discuss. For instance, when Colorado legalized the sale of marijuana, the topic was discussed by people throughout the United States. A natural disaster in another country is always an issue you can explore, as well as any crazy news tidbits you have caught online. (Interesting, bizarre news is often great to bring up to your client, because it’s usually light-hearted and won’t broach any touchy subjects.) Peruse local news sites, listen to NPR or read the newspaper for ideas.
- A client’s hobby may be a great platform for some warm-up chitchat. If your client has mentioned that he actively pursues a hobby through any of your communications with him, allow him to share with you details about his passion. If you know nothing about the pastime, do some quick research online prior to meeting up with him. A quick Internet search should give you a few points that will help you ask questions or comment intelligently as he discusses the ins and outs of his activities. From sailing to stamp collecting to golfing, most clients have some sort of hobby. Even if he hasn’t mentioned what he does in his free time, it’s a very safe question to ask if you’re looking for safe subjects of conversation. If your client replies that he doesn’t really have a hobby, proceed to tell him briefly about something you enjoy. Maybe you like to read or garden. It really doesn’t matter what the hobby is; it’s just the creation of a safe conversation that isn’t overly personal. After some brief conversation, the encounter can move on to more interesting stages.
- Encourage your client to divulge his likes and dislikes about sex. For clients who don’t seem shy to discuss it, sex is a great topic that will bond you and your client quickly. (Of course, sex may not be a suitable topic for a client who seems awkward and uncomfortable just by your presence, without any mention of anything more intimate.) By talking about the things you like and the acts you don’t prefer, you are getting to know one another on a level that is much different from other mundane warm-up conversations. Even though the entire discussion is geared to take the edge off of your initial face-to-face meeting, it also works to rev up your motors and put you on the same sexual page. Plus, it helps you understand what you must do in the encounter in order to please your client.
- Akin to the sex likes/dislikes conversation, asking your client about his craziest/best/worst sexual experience ever is a great way to break down the walls of intimidation. Opening up to each other about crazy adventures or sharing secrets that very few others or, perhaps, nobody knows about is a way to create a bond between you and your client. You can encourage him to share details about how the experience made him feel and how it affected his future adventures. However, to get your client to fully open up about these treasured memories, you may have to be willing to share some stories of escapades, yourself. Have a few good stories ready, and persuade him to tell his, possibly with the promise of more from you. The best benefit from this line of discussion is not only that you break through that awkward state at the beginning of an encounter, but that you also have shared some secrets together, which makes it feel like the two of you already have an intimate connection. It makes the rest of the encounter move along like clockwork.
- Get your client to tell you something non-obvious about himself. Even the most conservative, uptight client has a past and a personal life. Instruct him that you don’t need to know that he has 12 children or has been married four times. The kind of details you are looking for might include streaking the girls’ locker room back in high school, going skydiving, watching NASCAR or something else that could seem unsuspected, based on his appearance or demeanor. Consider a few facts about yourself that might be unexpected to share as an example for him. Once you’ve divulged something, he will be more inclined to reach inside himself for a piece of trivia that makes him special or unique. If he can’t come up with anything, ask him questions about his childhood nickname, an activity he’s always wanted to participate in or the worst trouble he ever got into. Everybody has something to share; it’s your way to discover bits about his personality. This works well for clients who seem very uptight. It helps them to remember they have a side to their personalities that is more relaxed and fun.
- Discuss favorites. From foods, colors and seasons to vacation destinations, electronics or banks, compare notes with your clients about the things you like, especially those you find that you have in common. It’s easy to come up with a quick list of items to ask about. As a way to engage your client, ask him to come up with some subjects, too, for your replies. As you go back and forth, sharing your preferences, it’s possible to get to know each other through trends in your answers. You may notice that your client has a sweet tooth or enjoys active pastimes, for instance. While you can’t learn everything you will need to know about your client through this line of conversation, it will help ease tensions between you and open up further conversation. If your discussion tends to sway from these “favorites,” allow it to. Let the chitchat take on a life of its own, providing more and more comfort to your client and reducing any awkwardness between the both of you. As you continue to talk, your interactions become increasingly natural, which leads to the rest of a successful encounter.
- Conversation about your neighborhood or community is an excellent way to break the ice with a client. Maybe there is construction down the street or a new organization is coming to town. Anything happening in your area is fair game for discussion when trying to find topics that both of you can comfortably converse about. Even if your conversation results in how the neighborhood has changed, the point is to get you talking, easily, to each other. Stimulating easy interaction between you is a result of finding common ground you can both identify with, such as knowledge of local occurrences. Establishing that initial level of pleasure through conversation is necessary in order to advance to more intimate stages of your encounter. If you can’t even talk to each other, touching one another may be extremely uncomfortable.
- Typical ice breaker questions can come in handy when you’re stumped for topics. Three typical ice breakers are fairly common and won’t have your client rolling his eyes at how ridiculous your methods of stimulating conversation are. The first is: “If you could pick anyone in the world, either living or dead, who would you pick to have dinner and drinks with once? Why?” Most people answer with a famous person from history or God. You can learn a lot about your client from his answer, ranging from his interests to his priorities. The second question to consider is: “What three things would you take with you if you were to be stranded for the rest of your life on deserted island?” As he answers this question, you will learn what in life is most important to him. And, the third question (which could receive eye rolls) is: “What fruit or veggie would you be? Why?” This question requires him to tell about his observances of his own personality, giving you some concept about how he perceives himself.
- Describing the perfect date or day with a romantic partner allows you insight to what he feels is essential for fulfillment. Encourage him to provide details about the activities, the feelings and how he would expect to be treated by the other person. If your client has some steamy details, you may be able to use them later in your encounter with him. Otherwise, you get insight to his romantic side and how he feels about relationships. If he shares details about a date where he and his partner do friendly activities, it indicates that he sees romance as a partnership and wants a woman who can be a companion. If his perfect day is sexually-based only, he is focused primarily on the physical aspects of a relationship.
- Easy questions about seasonal worries/topics are fodder for when conversation is challenging. If you get the feeling that your client doesn’t want to participate in idle chitchat, ease into with innocent questions about whether he has seasonal tasks completed, such as holiday shopping, taxes, summer vacation plans, fall leaves raked or things ready for the upcoming weather. Ask about spring/fall allergies. Encourage him to share about how he’s dealing with whatever the seasonal concerns are. While this is pretty inane, it helps open up the lines of communication so you can get to more interesting conversation.
- Some clients are drawn in by your questions about what prompted them to call you. Much like a psychologist will launch into questions about why a client has made an appointment, you should ask your new client what instigated him to seek out an escort, most specifically you. (Not only does this start the ball rolling for conversation, but it also helps you gauge what your appeal is to clients and determine what’s working in your marketing strategy.) You may learn about a particular incident that caused your client to call, or he may tell you about a lifetime of unfulfillment. Either way, you learn, in a nutshell, what he needs from you. You obtain knowledge that will help you provide a satisfying and enjoyable encounter, based on his specific needs and wants.
Without making that attempt at a few minutes of conversation at the beginning of a booking, you and your client may both feel like the encounter was forced and uncomfortable. Of course, you don’t want to take too much time from the booking, as you want your client to feel that the time you spent with him was well worth his fee. Don’t allow him to think that he missed out on a lot, because you and he talked for too long. If you notice that a client seems happy with the conversation, let him know that it is cutting into the other portion of his encounter. He can then make the choice to move on or continue with your discussion.
Recommended reading: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships