It is easy to think that glamour is something other women do. That, somehow, there is a glamorous life out there but it is being lived in Paris and New York and Monte Carlo and has nothing to do with your particular life as an escort or as a woman. That glamor takes designer dresses, big diamonds and limos, lots of limos.
by Hannah Jay
Well I am here to assure you that glamour is not where you live or what you have, it is about who you are. And it is very, very valuable.
Boring people will dully explain that escorts sell sex. And boring escorts will think that is what their business is all about.
And then they will wonder how girls who are not particularly beautiful manage to command premium rates. After all, they are unlikely to be ten or fifty times as good at sex per se. So, how are they managing to find and attract clients willing to pay so very much.
To answer that question and then to act on the answer can create huge opportunities for an ambitious girl. But the answer is a bit counter intuitive so bear with me.
There is certainly a class of client for who the consenting adults activity is the essence of the encounter. This is the hobbyist/provider model and it works well for some girls. However, it is limited because of its focus on the sexual. And because of this it is also limited in terms of fees because, well, there is not a great deal of range available in that sort of encounter.
At the other end of the spectrum are the mistresses and courtesans at the very top of the market and, of course, the gentlemen who seek their company.
The sort of man who is willing to spend a few thousand dollars for an evening or tens of thousands for a weekend, is not likely to be there just for the sex. Not saying that never happens, rather saying that it is more than a little rare. Men who have this sort of money are usually pretty smart and with intelligence comes complexity and a degree of imagination.
In its original Scottish form, gramarye spoke of magic, the occult and enchantment. Glamour is far more about the imagination than about any bit of cunning make up or clever dress. And that, of course, is what a glamourous woman trades upon.
Part of the burden of being intelligent is boredom. At a certain point in a successful man’s career, what used to be challenging becomes matter of fact, his triumphs are the same as last years’ triumphs. Rather than seeking attention his attention is sought. This can happen at any age but it is quite rare in men under forty. The Peggy Lee tune, “Is that all there is” plays fairly constantly in the background.
As a general rule really successful, intelligent men do not have the “buy a Porche, ditch the first wife, find a blonde” in-your-face midlife crises which blemish the lives of their subordinates. They are much too practical and level headed to commit personal and professional suicide; rather they look for ways to channel their dissatisfaction so as to both deal with the problem and cause minimal disruption to the success of their lives.
Intelligent, successful men tend to be very good at analysis. They can look at a problem, divide it into its parts and come up with optimal solutions.
The solution to “I am bored, I am dissatisfied” is very unlikely to involve leaving their wife, losing their children and their assets and generally behaving like an idiot. Instead they will look for solutions which scratch their specific itch.
Sex may be part of the solution but, as I have said, sex in itself is unlikely to actually fill the void. Men often think what higher end escorts are selling is sexual but they are usually wrong. In fact what the top end of the escort world is about is a fantasy in which sex is embedded in a much larger, escapist, illusion.
Even the wealthiest client lives in a work a day world where the women he deals with balance the practical with the beautiful, the elegant with the everyday. Whether it is his wife, his personal assistant, his lawyer or his broker, the women in his life will usually have downplayed their feminine side in order to get along in an egalitarian world.
Not so the escorts who work at this level. In fact, quite the opposite. From lingerie to lipstick, the top end escort is all about accentuating the feminine, the beautiful and the luxurious. Where a female partner in a big law firm has a haircut and manicure designed to be largely maintenance free, a luxe escort is very high maintenance indeed.
The Glamour of Alexandra
Alexandra is a twenty eight year old escort working in the Midwest. “I love the whole pampering, glamour, fancy dresses and luxury lingerie part of my escorting business. Sure, I can throw on a pair of capris and a cute little top and be out the door in ten minutes; but that is very much not what I am selling.”
“Start with where I work. I will do the occasional outcall to the better downtown hotels but I really prefer to entertain my clients in my own home. But not until we’ve been out for cocktails or a great dinner.”
“I was lucky enough to find a brilliant, quite large, loft apartment near downtown but in a very safe area. It’s a small building and there are only four spaces but the owner designed it so that each space has a really private entrance. I have lived there for five years and I have never even seen one of my neighbours. There is a secured parking lot just down the street which is important.”
“It has taken me a couple of years to furnish and decorate my space. I haunt auctions and pick up nice pieces of modern or Art Deco furniture. The whole space is very minimal. Lots of clear, clean surfaces. In the corridor I have a gorgeous hall table with a single tray for envelopes. Black and white, framed photographs and a single, fresh stem of a really sexy flower – think Bird of Paradise or orchid, never roses or carnations – are all my gentlemen see on arrival. And me.”
“I read somewhere that glamour was actually all about lighting. I think that’s right. It is about contrasts and textures and a sense of presentation. My dates are almost always in the evening and I have my space lighted for effect. There is a pool of light by my double black leather love seats and another on flowers I have arranged on my dining table. In the bedroom there are bedside lights and a light behind the screen I have at one end of the room.”
“I am lucky because I have very dark brunette hair and pale white skin. That contrast lets me wear great clothes and pretty lingerie. But it also means I can use makeup very effectively. I aim for a look which is well outside what my clients see day to day. I don’t use a lot of makeup, just a light foundation, smokey eye shadow, eye liner for emphasis and a cute “flip” plus really, really red lipstick. I pay a lot of attention to what the models in the magazines are wearing and I match it to some extent.”
“The nature of the escorting business means it is usually clever to dress in layers. And while I thoroughly enjoy shopping with my clients – and they enjoy it too – I also prefer to have my money in the bank rather than on my back.”
“Even the wealthy, sophisticated men I prefer to see have no idea what they are looking at when they look at women’s clothes. But they will spot things like really luxurious fabric and the simple design which takes real elegance to carry well. Paying attention to designer consignment – both in my city and on line – means I can buy the Armani and Prada which works for me at a fraction of the retail price.”
“It is easy to fall for the idea that dressing glamorously is somehow about dripping diamonds and being swathed in furs. I have no objection to diamonds and I love vintage furs; but neither are essential to a glamourous look. For me glamour is much more about being really well put together with bag and shoes matching and little touches like a hat and gloves. It is a throw back to a world where women reveled in the fact they were completely different from men.”
“Everything I do from my escort advertising to my scent – I actually buy perfume online which was discontinued in the 1990s – is calculated to appeal to my clients’ often unconscious nostalgia. But it is not a nostalgia for a particular era exactly, rather it is for a world less complicated and less fraught. The way I put it in my ads an on my website is “Step into my world where ladies enjoyed the kindness of strangers”. The allusion to Tennessee Williams is deliberate. I am always amazed at how many of my clients are very literate indeed.”
“As I said, I always like to have a drink or dinner with my client before we go back to my space. Most of my clients are referrals or regulars but there are always a few who I have not met. I use most of the standard escort screening techniques, but there is nothing like a meeting in a public place to really get an idea of what a man is like. I keep the option of not inviting a gentleman to my home open. It does not happen often but I trust my instinct.”
“And yes gentlemen, a shower and a shave are must haves, so are good shoes and a decent watch.”
“I am not show stoppingly beautiful; but I clean up very well indeed and I spend the time I need to make the most of my looks. I keep my hair longish and can range from a quick flip and blow dry to full on hot rollered curls. But whatever look I am going for I make sure I give myself enough time before my date to really finish the look. And that means when I walk into a restaurant I look terrific and I feel great. Which shows and I usually have eyes on me when I walk into a nice bar or attractive restaurant. Regardless of what happens later in the date, my client is going to be delighted to have such a radiant creature join him.”
“If I do my job right, from the moment my client sees me across the room to the moment he leaves my home he will feel privileged. Lucky. On top of his world. And, of course, that really starts when he sees the reaction I get from the men who I will not be joining.”
“A big part of glamour is timing. Whether it is that moment of hesitation when entering a crowded room so that people can get a good look at your outfit, or a moment or two taken as you are undressing so that your client can anticipate the pleasures which await, every move I make is considered. It is not a “routine”; rather it is really just a particular way of being in the world.”
“Every escort is, of course, selling a fantasy. Whether it is “the girl next door” or the pillow chested beauty who just can’t get enough, we all cater to the imagination of our clients. How we play with our clients’ imagination is the value add in escorting. There is plenty of money to be made providing meat and potatoes consenting adult activity. But offering a more upscale fantasy lets you charge much higher prices. It also means you see the sorts of clients who can afford those prices and actually understand the value of what they are paying for. Much nicer.”
“When I was getting started as an escort I had a day job and I was only taking dates a couple of nights a week. I just couldn’t see myself in the booty shorts and the stripper boots and, besides, looking at the escort ads there were hundreds of those sorts of girls all competing with each other. I did see the occasional ad which was all about what the girls called things like “luxury dating” and “champagne experiences” which sounded more interesting.”
“It was not until an early client of mine took me to this rather quiet bar which was lightly populated by these stunning women and the men who enjoyed them that I realized what my niche was. The “stunning” women were, for the most part, not all that amazingly great looking. But they were polished and cleverly dressed. I could recognize some designer dresses – I am a bit of a fashion buff – but it was the overall look which worked. They simply looked expensive. Like pampered racehorses.
“I was totally intrigued. I had no idea if these women were escorts or not. It didn’t matter, I wanted to be in the business of selling the sheer glamour of how they presented themselves. Having a goal is a wonderful thing because it lets you plan.”
“I set out to build up a clientele which was looking for a girl who was just as polished, as elegant, as unobtainable as the girls in that bar. Instead of spending the money I was making escorting on the day to day, I started saving to buy the outfits, the bags and shoes, the minimalist modern furniture. Back then I was willing to do many more dates with men who were not, exactly, ideal. I stayed safe but I would book a couple of dates a night if they were available. It takes money to create the illusion of glamour. I looked for nearly a year before I found the perfect stage for what I had begun to think of as my glamour show.”
“And I read. Fashion magazines, beauty books, books on escorting, books about decoration and dresses and putting together a “look”. I actually made myself a “look” wall when I first got the loft and had a bed, a chair and a table and not much else.”
“I was inventing Alexandra. I liked the slightly Russian, slightly Greek sound of the name. I liked the faintly European suggestion. There is a Las Vegas glamour. And then there is a Paris, London, New York glamour which is understated. That was where I wanted to go.”
“Dita Von Teese famously said, “I advocate glamour. Every day. Every minute.” She’s right. I realized that to create Alexandra it would not be enough to put on a pretty dress at five for cocktails at 5:30. It was a full time job which resulted in Alexandra being able to walk into any place in the city and have, for a moment, all eyes on her.”
“As I said, glamour doesn’t need to be expensive. Rather it is a discipline. Like yoga or meditation: you wake up and you begin the regime. Whether it is a trip to the gym or a fast walk on a cold day you take your exercise. You have a day hairstyle and day make up which make sense. You do your skin care and wear your sun block. You see your hair stylist once a week, your pedi/mani waxing girl pretty much as needed. You research your beauty products and you learn how to use them. You-Tube is critical.”
“You look for brilliant, beautiful clothes and furniture. When I started with glamour I wanted nothing more than one, great, luxe outfit with the right shoes and the perfect bag. And a string of pearls like Audrey Hepburn wears in Breakfast at Tiffanys.”
“Bit by bit I invented Alexandra with the pretty dresses, sizzling lingerie, perfect love nest apartment and alluring advertising. I am not her but I have to admit I wish I was.”