Despite your best attempts to keep things purely business between you and your clients, they often cross the line and ask you personal questions. They may ask you about your personal life, your family, your relationship status or other things. And they may ask whether or not you find them attractive. For many clients, the ultimate fantasy is knowing that their escort would find them attractive (and thus, datable) if they had met under different circumstances.
Some escorts are immediately put off by this line of questioning, while others embrace it due to the type of girlfriend experiences (GFE) they offer. However, your response depends on you and your client. Several variables may factor in to the way you wish to answer a question that could lead to misunderstandings between you and your clients.
Before you answer, you must keep in mind one thing. As an escort, you provide services to your clients. They come to you to feel good. They want encounters that make them feel confident, positive and good about themselves. It’s your responsibility to stroke your clients’ egos, fib to them and make them feel like they’re on top of the world. If you can’t do that for your clients, you may be in the wrong line of work. (Unless, of course, you are a dominatrix, but even then you are making your clients feel good the way they imagine it.)
Here are some ways that you may choose to reply to clients who ask you “Do you find me attractive?”:
- Say “yes.” Everyone has something that makes him attractive to someone. Even if his physical appearance may not be Hollywood-grade, he may be funny, sweet, smart or generous. These qualities can make a man incredibly sexy. Funny guys can become very good looking because of their positive attitudes and how they make others feel. As you tell your client that you find him attractive, point out one of his endearing qualities that don’t pertain to his looks that you like. Let him know you appreciate him for his good points. Don’t mention anything that does not turn you on. Stroke his ego a little and build up his self-esteem by telling him how much you love his personality or outlook on life. Maybe he has really nice eyes or a grin that warms a room. Find something that is nice about your client and use it to answer his question.
- Avoid leading your client on, even if you are complimenting him. As an escort, you should try to make your client feel good. But if you suspect that your reply could lead to more, don’t lead your client on. Some clients are simply looking for an opening they can use to convert their business relationship with you to a personal one. Don’t provide your client with such a chance. You can explain to your client that you don’t typically become attracted to clients, but follow that statement up with a compliment about what you enjoy about him. Your client may be hurt that you don’t think “that way” about him, but you can soften the blow with a compliment.
- Inform your client that you would prefer to not answer his question due to your relationship being a business arrangement. Compare your relationship to your client with that of a doctor and patient or a lawyer and client. Tell him that you see yourself as a provider and him as a recipient of your services. You don’t really survey his attractiveness, because it’s not in your best interest to become too involved with clients. Be truthful with him about how your clients sometimes come and go and that it’s silly for you to even think in terms of attraction levels since so many clients walk in and out of your life so easily. Ask him to make things easier for you by not requesting you cross any professional or ethical lines.
- Answer physically. When your client goes so far as to ask you whether you find him attractive, answer by getting intimate with him. A good dose of oral sex, a passionate kiss and grope or a full-fledged snogging session should make him forget the question or why he asked. And, if he hasn’t forgotten the question, he may just assume that you do find him very attractive as a result of your actions. However, if he asks this question near the end of an encounter, you can’t very well launch into a full-blown passion session. Answer by saying that you will show him just how attractive you think he is next time you see him. Wink and let them make their own interpretations.
- Distract your client with some other conversation. You can all of a sudden remember a subject you wanted to discuss or be surprised by something you see in the room. Another option is to answer with a question about what he wants to do during the encounter, if it’s just started. Many clients ask this question soon after they first arrive. This leaves a big opportunity for you to change the subject by talking about the plans for the encounter and finding out what he wants to do. You can even suggest that he begin to remove his clothes as a way to distract him. Just the thought of getting naked with you may be enough to distract him from his questioning.
- Throw yourself into a sneezing fit. This is a bit of a deceptive way to avoid his question, but it usually works, especially if it’s during allergy or cold seasons. Begin sneezing and do it several times. When your sneezing fit “subsides”, you can rush to blow your nose or take a few minutes to recover. Usually, a client is concerned with making sure you are okay and he forgets about the question he asked. If he doesn’t forget, he’s too embarrassed to ask it a second time. If he does, just sneeze a few times, again, and follow up with comments about your darn allergies.
- Tell your client that you are in a lesbian relationship and don’t favor men. Explain that you are not really attracted to men “that way” due to your relationship with your partner. Even if this is grossly untrue, your client will likely drop his line of questioning immediately. However, be prepared for more questions about your relationship with your girlfriend, such as “Is she as hot as you?” Your client may become so obsessed with his fantasy of you and another woman he will forget his question about being attractive altogether.
- Talk to your client about what you find attractive about men. Indicate that it’s not always physical appearances, but do explain what physical features really turn you on. Then go on to talk about personality traits and other aspects of a person that make you hot and bothered. It could be a sense of humor, gentleness, intelligence or compassion. Regardless of what the slough of traits you list that you find attractive, your client is likely to find something in the list that he thinks pertains to him. They should be able to determine from your list whether they fit the bill or not. Sometimes, it’s enough to throw clients off the trail, and they may even think you’ve mistakenly misunderstood their question, misinterpreting it to mean, “What do you find attractive?” If this is the case, that’s okay!
- Ignore the question. Ignoring your client is not usually the best way to communicate with him, but when it comes to silly questions that are too personal, it may be an acceptable method of getting out of a tight situation. Pretend that you didn’t hear your client and move on to something else. But, you must move on to something else to distract him. Acting like you didn’t hear him and leaving him an opportunity to ask the question again immediately won’t work in your favor.
- Tell him the truth. Maybe you do find your client wildly attractive. If that’s the case, let him know. Tell him you think he’s really hot. However, most clients won’t fit the “hot!” category. If he doesn’t trip your trigger, tell him that he’s not the type of you guy you usually fancy. But, follow up with the explanation that you like him anyways. Inform your client that he doesn’t have to be hot for you to have a good time with him and enjoy his company.
- Explain to your client that as an escort you try to be immune to clients’ charms. Tell him that if you fell for every great grin or set of bedroom eyes who came through your incall door you would be in trouble and not able to be very professional. Tell him it’s for his own good that you don’t really consider your clients attractive. Joke with him that if you found him too attractive he might be in trouble: you could become a stalker and want him to divorce his wife!
Most clients who ask these kinds of questions are simply looking for reassurance that they are desirable or physically appealing in some manner. They may be in relationships where they don’t feel very confident. Giving your clients some self-assurance and a boost in self-esteem isn’t going to kill you or immediately turn your client into a stalker.
However, keep in mind that some clients will take the nice things you say to them too far. They are a bit twisted to start with, and they may read more into your innocent comments than you intend for them to. Keep track of your clients by checking up on their references and attempting to discover if there’s anything you should be weary of when engaging in encounters with a particular client. If you a client has stalked or become violent with another escort, call off all encounters with him and refuse to see him in the future, especially if you feel uncomfortable as he begins to ask more and more personal questions.