How to approach an older man as a male escort

An escort knows the majority of his clientele will likely be older than he is. There is just a certain level of understanding that youth is a very prized and alluring attribute to possess; with it the world is often your oyster. From a man’s perspective, virility and power are the two characteristics that comprise the majority of what gay men consider attractive, and therefore – in our business – highly marketable.

by Jake S.

When I was a young, ravishing escort I didn’t really have much trouble finding clients. I lived in New York City and took quite good care of my body. There was a level of invincibility to my carefree ways and yet still I held firm to what I was willing to do in any given situation. I learned how to approach older males and how to act when approached by them in order to be considered appealing and on my game.

There is a certain level of dumbing down conversations for those who just want to get to the point and ramping up for others who prefer the company of an intellectual in order to pass the time, to be seen out in public with, and to experiment with if nothing else. Either way, there is an art to seduction that is very important to learn how to manipulate and master in order to remain ahead of the curve and profitable.

There were a few places I remember going to pick up my johns, before I knew about agencies, massage parlors, and how to maximize your efforts on the Internet. I’d go to a bar, the park, or a bathroom to find my johns. It was there that I was able to find ways to approach men who were interested in purchasing my services for hire.

At the park

My first venture was at the park. I always made sure to wear form-fitting clothes and to walk around slowly as if I was looking around or didn’t really have anywhere to go. That usually attracted the guys who were on the prowl or guys who had nothing to do and wanted a bit of companionship. I’d get all kinds of guys. Back then, there wasn’t much of an option to act any other way than discreet. There wasn’t that much acceptance and there was a culture that I had to learn how to read and speak fluently in order to survive.

Once the bait was set, I reeled in the big fish. I tried to find what it was the guy was looking for. You can figure this out by asking him a series of questions that were evocative enough to spark his curiosity, but not too overpowering that he would lose interest in the game or the hunt. When the moment arrived where public displays of affection were in order, I’d make sure to walk him to some of my favorite secluded sections of the park. You’d have to have a few in your back pocket just in case. You’d have to know when the park is less busy and what sections of the park have the least amount of visibility and may even be the hardest to get to. There always has to be a level of play or achievement involved in an escort’s art of seduction. That keeps things interesting.

At the bar

The next best place to pick up guys was at the bar. This was the easiest and most fun. Everyone goes to the bar to have a good time, spend lots of money, and to expect to find someone you may be willing to go home with. This is why bars can be an escort’s prime locale. Of course, you have to be clear when you are being approached that you are an escort once the moment arrives, because your potential client may not be willing to spend money on something he thinks he’s getting for free and you will have wasted a lot of time. So, working up your john enough to keep things suspenseful, then when he gets a little too familiar explain your purpose for being there that evening. If he’s onboard, then go for it. If he’s not, find a new spot to scope out prospects.

Usually at bars you can feel out the best spots to wait. Do you want to be standing, leaning or sitting at a table off to the side? Usually your demeanor is what’s going to be picked up on first. Standing usually implies you’re up for anything. It’s the strongest stance you can have. If you’re leaning, that usually means you are waiting for the other person to make the move and that may leave you prone to riffraff. But each pose has its pros and cons. Sitting down is too passive. It’s basically saying you’re off the radar and you’re waiting for someone and can’t be bothered. Standing allows you be ready for whatever the night has in store. You can remain the hunter and the hunted and have your eagle eyes scoping out the whole place. After all, you’re there to work aren’t you?

I’d recommend drinking water, because you want a guy to buy you a drink. Of course be close enough to the bar so you can see if he’s slipping something in and also what the bartender is putting into it. You have to always remain in control as much as possible. There are too many variables. The best seat in the bar is the one where you can see everyone and everything, who enters, who exits, the bathrooms, and still remain alluring and moderately inconspicuous. Once your client returns with your drink, give him your undivided attention.

Most men want to talk about themselves. Listen. You don’t have to divulge much on your end. Even if he’s prying it’s a far better business practice for an escort to remain a bit elusive. If you say you’re an escort that may intrigue him, but always put the focus back on the john for conversation. Gage if the time you’re spending on him is worth it. Get to the point rather quickly and see if this potential client is a jackpot or a dud. When you are comfortable, make the verbal contract and get to business. You may even be able to swing back by the bar afterwards to scope out additional prospects

In public restrooms

One place that is often teeming with prospects is public restrooms. I was taught early on that there is a protocol when trying to pick up an older male in the restroom. Usually they are the ones who initiative this ritual, but it would behoove you to be on the up and up when faced with this strange dance. Yes, tap dancing is not just found on stage, but in men’s dressing rooms and public bathrooms as the number one indicator of discrete sexual advances. It’s been around for decades in the United States and in Europe.

It is usually the older male who initiates contact by tapping his foot in a way that’s visible beneath the bathroom stall divider. If the second person responds with a similar tap, the initiator moves his foot closer to the other person’s stall. If the other person makes a similar move, the first will inch closer yet again. The pair usually goes through the whole process a few times, just to confirm that the signals aren’t an accident.

I’ve actually been in a restroom once while I was not on the clock and noticed two different dances being played out in the stalls next to mine. It was very funny. It just goes to show how popular these kinds of things are and how useful it can be for a male escort to learn how to utilize these tips and tricks properly.

Next, one of the men will slide his hand under the divider. Depending on who began the initiation it is often up to the second person to decide what his role is. Is he going to play or is he going to wait to see what the initiator has planned? This usually means he’s inviting the other person to present himself. This is a delicate part of the dance because you don’t really know what the other person has in store. I’ve seen presentations of water sports to all types of sexual displays.

Then, the partner can respond by kneeling on the floor and presenting his penis or ass underneath the divider. You have to be a little careful here. You want to make sure if you’re doing this that it’s for show to proposition the other man. After all, you’re not giving this stuff up for free. One technique I’ve seen is that you can swipe your hand on his under the divider, as if to say, “You go first.” That gives the man a clue that you are interested, but do not want to go too far just yet.

Once the coast is clear and you both are getting hot, you may slip a note under the door either with your services and fees or your phone number. Depending on how he plays, you either have him or you don’t. Wait a while and if he doesn’t respond, feel free to slowly exit the stall and walk towards the sink. Stay a while and play with your hair giving the other stall a few once-overs. He will most assuredly be looking at you through the crack of his stall. If you’re john wants to play he will let you know. Try a few different tactics, but eventually you’ll know whether or not this is an appropriate way to spend your time or not.

Now, you may ask yourself, “How sexy can you get in a public bathroom when there’s a divider in the way?” Well, it kinda depends on the bathroom. If the guys are in the last stall in a long row, they might have enough privacy to get it on right there beneath the divider. One person can enter the other’s stall by ducking out and back or eventually entering the stall from the front if no one is in the restroom. Positions vary depending on the space, but one classic setup has one man sit on the toilet while the other straddles his legs and receives oral sex. Sexual preferences varies for each person, but I’ve found that often a lot of older men who like sex in bathrooms would rather give head then get it. That’s just been my experience.

Regardless of the technique used, it’s always so important for a male escort to remain vigilant and cognizant of his surroundings. The goal should always be the money in the pocket and the money shot. Those of us in the business of sex understand how important it is to work smarter not harder, to always come out on top, and to never forget to get the cash upfront.

Escort agencies

Nowadays, it’s a little easier to pick men up as an escort. If you’re working with an agency then you don’t have much to worry about because your clients have already been pre-screened. But depending on your agency you want to make sure your representatives are reputable. Make sure your agency has been around for a while and that their word-of-mouth from either current or former escorts and clients is positive. You want to make sure you will be paid on time and be respected. Without you, an agency would cease to exist. And johns will always be looking for escorts.

Massage parlors

If you are working in a massage parlor, you will likely be paid for your happy ending skills verses your profundity for muscle manipulation. Still there is a different layer here that needs to be considered. Agency escorts often go out into the field and are left with merely a phone number to call in case anything happens. In a massage place, you can likely be kept there under your will if you’re not careful. You have to always have an out and always expect the unexpected. There is also something to be said about approaching older males on the Internet that adds a whole other layer to the mix.

The Internet

With both agencies and massage parlors you have a bit of oversight. You have a manager there to perhaps protect you in case anything happens. But you also have to share your earnings with them and who knows what that power dynamic may look like. With the Internet you are really left to your own devices, but you get to keep all the money. So, it’s a bit of a double-edged sword where you have to be very prepared and very smart to be successful for the long-term.

Nowadays, online is usually the most popular place to score a score. Older men love to prowl here looking for all sorts of qualities to fulfill their fantasies. You have to know what you want, what you are willing to provide, and also be on the lookout for patterns. If you see certain patterns within the ad itself that you find off putting, check to see if there is history there that would lead you to consider this a flaggable occurrence. After all, you gotta look out for your other escorts in case they may miss something similar.

The bar, the park and the bathroom are all viable ways to make the connection but it seems that older people are gravitating more towards doing business online that it’s almost second-nature to find sex there as well. Lots of men are using hook-up and online dating sites. Escorts are pretty successful using these and their apps as well. The most important thing is to make sure you identify yourself as an escort in order to attract the right kinds of onlookers. It will save you time and money and save others a lot of headache and hassles.