How to discuss escort services with clients without explicitly talking about sex

An escort must be very careful to clarify during communications that she provides, for a predetermined and agreed-upon fee, companionship to a client, not sexual services. Due to legal restrictions in the United States, the exchange of sex for money is illegal in all 50 states, except for a few counties in Nevada. However, clients sometimes have questions about activities they may expect from an encounter with an escort. They often ask specific questions about sexual activities they are looking for, only to be shot down by escorts who can’t legally discuss such topics.

As an escort, you must be able to help clients read between the lines and comprehend what your limitations are legally. Communication must be clear and concise, but it must also help clarify for a client that he will be happy with the time he spends with you.

Assume that all of your communications are monitored and prepare accordingly

Consider these 13 ways to discuss your services with clients without explicitly talking about sex:

  1. Explain to a client that escorts charge for their time. When you and your client discuss your rates, make it very clear that your fee is standard for an encounter lasting up to an agreed-upon time. Review the facts that you do not sell sexual services as part of your offerings. However, attempt to leave your conversation open-ended by informing your client that the activities that you engage in during the encounter, as consenting adults, are up for consideration. Most clients will understand that desired intimate acts are included when you phrase your explanation in such a way.
  2. Allow your client to discuss sexual activities that turn him on or he is interested in trying. As he describes his fantasies, indicate to him whether or not they would interest you, personally, if you and he were meeting for a one-night stand under other circumstances. Be sure to put your agreement in terms of hypothetical statements and never guarantee that you will provide or engage in certain acts. Carefully avoid stating any activities that you want to do or talking about sex, yourself. Allow your client to mention sexual acts, positions or fantasies, and only agree or disagree with whether they sound desirable or not. In most instances, your client will understand that you are verifying the services you are willing to provide.
  3. Use phrases to describe your services that will help a client read between the lines. You can inform your client that he can expect services that include “full female companionship.” For those who are experienced with seeing escorts, this very clearly tells them that you are willing to engage in sexual intercourse with them during the encounter. Other ways to reveal your willingness is to coin your services as the “Girlfriend Experience” or “Porn Star Experience”. Most clients, even the new ones, know enough about escorts to know that these two descriptions involve intimate acts and intercourse.
  4. List activities that you enjoy in your profile. Clearly state that you enjoy sex, including certain acts, in your directory profile or on your website. When a client begins to question you about what he can expect during an encounter, direct him to your online information as a resource. Explain to him that these are examples of things you like to do with people in your spare time. Most prospective clients will understand immediately and willingly oblige by checking out your services listed online. With this method, you avoid actually discussing sex and never make any promises that could be held against you by law enforcement.
  5. Stress to your client that your fee is the same, regardless of what happens between the two of you. Some novice clients seem to think that you may charge different rates for various sexual acts. Remind your clients who think this that what they are suggesting is prostitution and you are not engaged in such activities. Encourage a client to realize that he is paying for your time, and certain services may be automatically included, due to the fact that you are two consenting adults who can make choices for yourselves about what activities you want to engage in. But, throughout the encounter, make sure your client understands that getting oral sex (or any other act) doesn’t bump up the price. However, don’t deny an especially considerate tip, if your client is inclined to show his appreciation this way.
  6. Avoid using common acronyms or slang terms in exchange for direct statements. If your conversations are being monitored or you’re being chatted up by an undercover police officer, they know all of the terms for sex and will automatically haul you in for agreeing to provide intimate activities for money. Even if you’re not being bugged by law enforcement, many new clients aren’t familiar with the industry jargon, so you will have to try to explain yourself, anyways. It’s just not worth the extra trouble it can cause. Find other ways to imply sexual activity.
  7. Allow your client to engage in cyber or phone sex with you as a precursor to your encounter. While most escorts like to limit communications with their clients, a quick cyber sex session may help to clear the air about what your client may expect during an encounter. Consider giving him a sample, with a disclaimer that if you like him, he might get to enjoy more when you meet in person. Through your phone or cybersex session, you can react to his comments about desired sex acts, denying or approving his requests. But, stress that any such activities are voluntary on both your parts, separate from the fee that you are receiving to spend time with the client.
  8. Wait until after your client has paid his fee to discuss any sexual specifics. By waiting, the money transaction has already transpired when the subject of sex is approached. Money is completely taken out of the equation, and the discussion remains about how to fill the time you’re going to spend together. Talking about sex at this point is simply conversation and foreplay between you and your client. Rarely could someone consider this type of conversation solicitation or prostitution.
  9. Imply that your client will be pleased with the evening. Allow your client to talk about his preferences and hopes for what he wants to do with a woman in the near future. Once he’s finished sharing what he wants, insinuate to your client that you are certain you can make him happy and fulfill his desires. Never commit to specific acts you will provide or engage in and do not associate your conversation with facts about your rates.
  10. The enemy is listeningSuggest to your client that he can expect an encounter full of affection and traditional relationship activities. Refrain from explaining in detail what these “activities” might include, but do encourage your client to look forward to them. Allow your client to ask questions, but always avoid promising any specific activities. However, you can tell him that you plan to welcome him with a kiss and an embrace he won’t forget. Flirt by telling him you can’t wait to feel his big strong muscles and to feel his arms wrapped around you. You are creating an intimate vision without saying anything about sex, but most men will easily follow where you’re going with the idea.
  11. Use vague terms through innuendos to inform your client he will be fulfilled during the encounter. Explain that your clients always leave happy and have never complained about the range of full services you provide. Insist that he will feel good, become fully relaxed, experience tension release and enjoy the excitement of your company. Tell him you hope to arouse his sense of humor and interest, along with making sure he is “up” for anything. You can coyly use terms that bring to mind sexual activity in most men’s minds, all without directly saying anything about sex. When suggestive innuendos are utilized, your clients should be able to follow your lead and understand that they are going to get lucky.
  12. Use body language. Once you and your client are tucked away safely together in your incall or at his hotel room, you can proceed with the encounter without saying a word about sex. Suggest to your client that he make himself comfortable and begin to seduce your client through touch and erotic massage. As he undresses, stroke and fondle him and proceed with whatever seems to come naturally. At this point, he can easily take your lead and proceed with desired activities. However, be very clear to stop your client if he begins to cross one of your boundaries. The physical aspect of your encounter must be mutually consensual, so be sure to ask your client if he is okay with what you’re doing as you’re engaging in intimate activities. If he seems hesitant, slow things down to confirm what your client wants to do next.
  13. Insist that your client be discreet in future conversations. Although you and your client may have engaged in all kinds of swing-from-the-chandelier activities during the encounter, swear him to a code of silence during future conversations you have through email, chat or telephone. Just because you have identified him as a legitimate client, your conversations could still be scrutinized by others hoping to catch you promising something illegal to an established client. Never let your guard down and allow a client to expose or make you vulnerable through loosening up your standards. As you plan for future encounters with your client, feel free to discuss sexual plans while you’re in person, but be sure to disassociate them from the rates you charge for your time. Keeping these two aspects of your profession separate is essential.

When you work in a profession largely based on sex and similar activities, it’s very difficult to help a client understand what he can expect from an encounter. However, it’s in your best interest to be vague and avoid explicit discussions of what you will or will not do during time spent with a client.