How to mix escorting and swinging – and how to avoid the mix

It is common overseas for escorts to accompany clients to swingers’ clubs. However, in the United States, working girls (even the most elite) are often shunned in clubs, if not excluded completely. Many American men are curious about the swinger lifestyle and are interested in trying it on for size. Their complications involve finding a willing partner, so they often turn to escorts as dates.

It’s debatable whether or not an escort would want to get involved in swinging sessions. Some escorts make excellent money by catering to would-be swingers, yet there are several things to consider before you commit to an encounter that lands you smack dab in the middle of limbs, lips and lovin’ at a swinging party or club.

Swinging naked ladyThe first thing to consider is that all swingers’ clubs have established rules and requirements for participants. Most prohibit the admittance of single men. Swinging involves changing/trading partners and engaging in intimacy involving several people. It involves trust and mutual respect. Most swingers’ clubs have encountered single men who are pushy and not invested in the lifestyle by facing any risks. Because single men bring no dates to the parties, they don’t really have much to offer for an exchange or trade. And, because they have no date to try to keep happy during the party, they often have nothing at risk for being pushy or insistent.

Other rules to remember when you’re at a swingers’ club are:

  • Most clubs require participants to be at least 21 years old. Because alcohol may be present, all attendees must be of legal age to drink. Additionally, others that do not include alcohol will require that all attendees be at least 18 years old, due to the concern about being legal and meeting the age of consent. So, don’t go with a client who is underage.
  • Many clubs require membership and photo identification in order to be admitted to parties or events. Membership may be as simple as paying an annual fee and signing a contract promising to respect others, etc. However, other clubs require that members undergo a trial period that involves a “getting acquainted” period where members learn about the rules and procedures of the club. If your client wants to attend one of these clubs that require extensive involvement for membership, you will need to charge him accordingly.
  • The dress code is important. Most clubs ban certain items of clothing such as flip flops, sweat pants, denim and jeans, ball caps and sneakers. They prefer sexy club attire or business casual clothing. Pay close attention to the dress code when preparing for the encounter with your client.
  • Some clubs prohibit alcohol, tobacco and other addictive drugs.
  • Recording devices, including camera phones, are prohibited from the premises. You should be able to rest easily knowing that anything you do at the club will never be recorded and show up to your surprise somewhere online.
  • Prostitution is prohibited from nearly all swingers’ clubs. Any exchange of money for services rendered during activities at the club is prohibited, and persons found in violation of this rule will be asked (ordered) to leave the premises. As a result, organizers of swingers’ clubs often frown on escorts being paid by clients to engage in activities at the club or parties. They feel that this is a deception as most swingers assume that an escort and her client are a couple, instead of working out a business transaction.

Swingers are very proud of their activities and consider them a lifestyle. They often make close friends within a circle of other swingers and engage in regular soirees that include open and private interactions. They put great trust in each other, expecting discretion and respect in return. The lifestyle is not about having as much sex as you can with as many people as possible. It’s about the free expression of intimacy and enjoying the sexual thrill with your partner and other trusted friends.

Swinging is an outlet for many couples. In addition to spicing up their sex lives, many feel their relationships are strengthened and enhanced through their interactions and experiences. When couples engage in activities with others, they like to know that the other couple is as devoted and invested in the experience as they are. Swinging with another couple which involves an escort who is involved because she is being paid to be there isn’t exactly what the lifestyle is all about.

So…as en escort, if you decide to follow through with a request to go swinging with a client, here are some tips you should make sure you follow:

  1. Establish ground rules with your client. Ask them about her expectations for the encounter, involving the level of activity she hopes you will engage in with others. If she expects you to engage in other activities with others while she watches, she should be prepared to pay an extended fee beyond your basic rates. Your basic rates apply to being involved with your client, not others. However, you can simply inform your client that you will watch while she gets involved with others, but you do not wish to participate. Regardless of how you want to play it, determine the expectations for the night as you’re scheduling the encounter.
  2. Be open-minded. Even as an escort, you may not be fully prepared for what you will see and experience at a swingers’ club. Expect to see a bit of anything and everything and arrive with no preconceived notions.
  3. Get your payment up front from your client.
  4. Expect to get naked. Most swingers’ clubs require a specific dress code for the main part of the establishment. However, as you enter the “play areas”, a different dress code may be required. If all other couples are nude or nearly nude, you will be expected to play along. Often, sexy lingerie is allowed in this area, but you must be prepared to show off your goods to other people at the swingers’ club. If you’re not comfortable getting naked in a group, you should rethink the encounter.
  5. Create an easy-to-remember story about your relationship with your client. While deception should never be a priority for your encounters, it will be necessary as you enter a swingers’ club. You and your client should have a story ready about yourselves. Are you an actual couple or just having fun together? How did you meet? How long have you known each other? Consider anything else that you may need to know ahead of time and work the story out together. Make it easy to remember and simple to tell.
  6. Consider going to a swingers’ club only with a regular or established client. A first encounter with a client is difficult enough at times — don’t make it any more difficult by adding in another element like swinging.

Many escorts will immediately shy away from a request to swing with a client at a party, event or club. Here are some reasons why you might want to deny a client’s request:

  1. It’s against the rules most of the time. Even though rules are meant to be broken, most clubs specifically prohibit escorts and prostitutes from entering, even if they are the date of a member. For no other reason than this, many escorts choose to avoid such encounters.
  2. You’re giving your services away as a free show. If you wouldn’t be comfortable doing a webcam of your sexual encounter with a client, then why would you consider having sex in front of many others at a swingers’ club? You will be allowing others to watch you having sex or performing other sexual acts on your clients and, perhaps, others. Giving it away for free is not what escorting is about.
  3. Your surroundings will be quite unfamiliar. As an escort, you are accustomed to controlling your surroundings much of the time. Entering a swingers’ club is about as unfamiliar as you can get. Even with a known, established client, you may still want to steer clear from entering into any situation where you don’t control the surroundings or events.
  4. Never go to a swingers’ club with a client you feel may get pushy. The one resounding rule that is said over and over again at swingers’ club is to be nice and respectful. “No means no” is a firm basis for all activities at the club. Any client you feel that might break this rule is not one to consider going anywhere similar with.
  5. You may feel pressured to do more than you want to. Even though you engage in intimate activities with clients all day long, your encounters occur in a much different environment than a swingers’ club. If your client is expecting to get to watch you do all kinds of crazy things with other men and women, that’s between you and him. However, if you’re uncomfortable with his expectations of what will/may happen at the club deny his request for such an encounter.
  6. Even if you’re up for a lot of fun with others, you will walk away from such an experience feeling exhausted

    It’s a lot of work. If you have a full week of encounters planned or other activities that you’re going to need to be 100-percent for, you should avoid the encounter.

  7. You’re setting a precedent by doing it once. Your client may think that you will be up for this type of experience each and every time he calls. And, even if you enjoyed it, you may not want to engage in this activity all the time. Avoid this encounter becoming your standard meeting with him by saying no from the very beginning.