Life after escorting

There are many escorts whose careers go on for years. And there are girls who escort for a few months and move on. No matter what, every escort at some point, leaves the business. So, while you are booking dates and the money is rolling in, it is a good idea to think about what you want to do after escorting. It is an even better idea to start preparing for your exit long before you make it.

by Hannah Jay

How a girl leaves escorting is largely up to her. Some will simply stop. They will pull their ads, change their number and, in some extreme cases, move right across the country to begin a different life. Other girls will take the long good-bye. They will taper their advertising off or only advertise for weekends; or they will stop advertising entirely but will continue to see their regular clients. It is a decision which each girl has to make according to her own set of circumstances.

What next? To a degree, how a girl chooses to leave the escorting world may depend on what she is planning on doing next. While a girl can certainly escort while going to school, traveling, or working full-time. or even while being married, each of these alternatives put limits on your ability to see clients.

While you cannot control when the perfect husband is going to materialize – although there are more than a few things which can hasten the day–you can control decisions like going to school, taking time to travel or finding a job or starting your own business.

Working as an escort, especially an independent escort, gives you the luxury of time. You control your schedule and you can create space in that schedule to actually figure out what you want to do in the next act.

There are dozens of books and websites devoted to the nuts and bolts of educational and career choices, and exploring them is well worthwhile. But before you do, it is useful to take a look at what you actually like doing. Armed with your escorting income, you have created a place where you can make decisions; taking your time to explore your alternatives is a great way of taking advantage of the freedom escorting affords.

One thing leads to another Contrary to what most high school guidance counsellors suggest, there does not seem to be a single, right path for most people. Sure, there are some eight year olds who say they are going to be firemen and darned if they don’t end up as firemen – but that is far from most people’s real life experience.

A more realistic model is one which suggests that opportunity is all around us but that it is pretty random. What matters is not a specific goal or career, but rather that you actually get out into the world.

This is not as random as it may seem. You can–and will–narrow your choices based on what your interests and aptitudes are, and, of course, on your qualifications. However, simply recognizing that the opportunities exist is the first step in coming up with a plan to achieve it.

The notion that one thing leads to another is extremely powerful one. As most job advisors and executive headhunters will tell you, the jobs you actually want are almost never advertised. And people who start businesses will often find that the business they thought they were starting, changes into a business which the marketplace wants. The point is to “get inside” the opportunity space you want to become a part of.

One of the escorts we were talking to on another story is a great example of this. Lisa had been escorting for a couple of years in a mid-sized American city. We interviewed her because she had made the transition to part-time escorting. We asked her how to went about this.

“I was doing a photo shoot with a really great photographer and he noticed I was doing my own make-up. Nothing too extreme, but I have always really liked make-up and fashion. We were shooting in the morning and he had another girl coming in after lunch. He asked me if I could do her make-up. I’d never really done anyone else’s make-up, but I said I would give it a try. I did and the shoot turned out really well.” Suddenly I saw that my interest was a talent, and that talent could make me an income.

“About a week later, the same photographer called and asked if I could do a couple of girls he was shooting. This time it was a paid gig. Not a lot and nothing compared to what I could make escorting, but it was money and fun.”

“Things sort of snowballed from there because the models liked what I did and when they were on a shoot they’d ask for me to do their make-up. I got to know a bunch of the top photographers and one of them asked me to “style” a shoot which meant finding the clothes and the accessories, and even scouting some of the locations. It was a ton of work. but I absolutely loved doing it.”

“So now I have a really cool little business doing make-up and styling. I’ve cut my escorting business back to just regulars and referrals. My styling business is all totally above board with all the money going right to the bank. I still like escorting – and I love the cash – but my plan is to be done with it entirely in another year. I have one client who would like some sort of exclusive mistress arrangement so I suspect I will do that. It’s easier for me because I am getting too busy styling to really do more than a few dates a week.”

Avoid the Blank Spot If you go through a formal job application process you will almost always have to provide a resume. The problem with escorting is that it can create months, even years of inexplicable unemployed time. Even in casual conversation we are all asked, “And what do you do?” and escorts have to have an answer.

A useful and comprehensive answer, on a resume or at a party that is failsafe is to be a student. Taking even one course–whether it is about how to build a website or fashion merchandising or whatever–fills in the blanks. Of course, actually taking a class or two does a much more than that.

First of all, taking a class or three give you exposure to a particular field, and your classmates are rather like a community of people with at least one, shared interest. If you think you might like to do something, then a short introductory course can really focus your attention and give you some concrete information about what that interest might mean in terms of work. And if it actually still interests you at the end of six or eight weeks, it probably is something you will wish to pursue further.

Second, spending time studying something means that you will be working with a teacher in a milieu where your interest is the focus. Not only will you learn the things your course is about, you will also be exploring the people and the opportunities in that area.

Courses are offered by night schools, community colleges, technical schools and a whole array of other organizations. Most can be taken on a very part-time basis for short periods of time. While some courses are very expensive, there are usually other less expensive alternatives. When you are trying to figure out what you want to do next, taking a few courses is a great way of sampling what’s out there.

Some courses will require pre-requisites such as high school graduation but, if you check with the instructor, these are often waived for older students. On the other hand, advanced courses really do have pre-requisites so you need to plan accordingly.

Taking a few courses will fill in the gaps in your work history and give you exposure to this particular field, but they will not provide you with any sort of serious credential. For that, you need to actually take a program leading to a certificate, diploma or degree. All of which is doable over time when you actually know what it is you want to do.

The Intern Option Working for free seems like a mugs game but if you are doing well with your escorting business, it is a great way to gain exposure and develop contacts. Internships come in two flavours: formal, often semi-full time positions which companies offer because they actually need extra people; and informal, part-time, invented on the spot, opportunities. Formal internships actually have hiring processes and require resumes and interviews. They are well worth looking into if you are interested in anything from publishing to law. But they are usually highly competitive and often set up to favour very specific sort of candidates (such as the company’s best client’s kid.) Don’t be discouraged if you apply and are not taken on.

Informal internships are just that, informal. Basically you create the internship yourself by volunteering to work in an environment which interests you. Everything from non-profits and public broadcasters through to photographers and designers and fashion retail stores will often be delighted if you want to intern.

Creating your own internship takes some research and more than a little chutzpah. You need to find the place you want to work, figure out what you can bring to the party, and then make an appointment with the decision-maker to make your pitch. Most people who actually make decisions are run off their feet so an extra pair of hands is often welcome. Don’t worry if your first task is answering the phone or posting to social media – once you have your foot in the door the power of “one thing leading to another”, kicks in.

Your own Business Escorts, whether they know it or not, are already in business. Particularly if you are an independent escort, you are running your own service business. You have business income, expenses, marketing and advertising and even repeat customers. Recognizing that you have already had experience running a business is a great first step towards running another business.

There are two big issues to overcome when starting your own business. The first is having a business idea which will find a market and make money. The second is having enough money to finance the startup and get you through the period where the business is not yet making money.

Your escorting may be able to create the savings you need to start your business. And this is a big “may”. Because unless you are a brilliant penny-pincher and live vastly below your means, you likely do not have large sums squirreled away from being an escort. A mistress perhaps; an escort, not likely. So then ask yourself this: “Can my current escort business support my start-up business?” This is a critical piece in the puzzle. You must consider what level of escort business it will take to keep you and your new enterprise afloat. This has to be realistic and sustainable. Not only do you need to crunch the numbers, you must also remember that adding a new business to the mix is going to take time and energy away from your escorting. Are you willing to work that hard? Can you make the necessary sacrifices for the a hoped-for future sucess? If you believe in yourself and your abilities, and with a bit of proverbial luck, you could finance a new future for yourself after escorting. So, if money per se, is not likely to be your major stumbling block, what business makes sense for you?

There are tens of thousands of businesses which you can start up. The internet has created many new and exciting opportunities that previously didn’t even exist. And some old artisanal occupations are now gaining a modern following Picking a niche which is right for you can be more than a little daunting.

For an escort looking to create a business, there are at least a couple of things to pay attention to: first, look very carefully at start up costs. Spending a lot of money up front may make sense, but it certainly increases your risk because (sad, but true), most small businesses fail. While failure is part of the business learning curve, a failure which costs you $500 dollars may well teach you just as much as one which costs $50,000 just without the lasting sting.

Second, look for businesses where you are selling your services rather than a particular product. Selling services means that you will not have a lot of money tied up in products and inventory which may not sell. And, as your escorting business is teaching you, selling services is about marketing and advertising and you already know the basics.

Third, look for businesses which can “scale”. When you start your business you might be spending a few hours a week on it, as it grows your time commitment will grow but so will your revenues. Look at whether your business concept can profitably employ other people. You personally have only so much time. But if you can bring on employees or sub-contractors, you can do very well indeed.

Examples of service businesses range from online jobs like being an web-based personal assistant – a great business because you can bring on other people as it grows – through to web design, downsizing consulting, de-cluttering, freelance research and on to things like rental agent or vacation planner or personal shopper. Things which you can begin as a part time gig but which has serious growth potential.

Partnering Independent escorting can be a very solitary activity. For a complete change of pace it may be worthwhile to look around for people with great business ideas who would like to work with someone else. If you have been careful with your escort profits you should be able to bring a bit of start-up cash to the table.

It is tough to find a good partner and therefore you will likely have to go to a lot of business meet ups and chat with a lot of unlikely people before finding a good fit. Before you do, remember to make a mental list of what you bring to the table. A bit of cash; likely some computer and marketing savvy picked up running your escorting business; plus, and you have to be subtle about this, it is quite possible that some of your regulars may have skills or connections which your partnership might need.

Serious Travel Spending two weeks in Europe is terrific fun. You can see a lot and learn a lot. But serious travel is about spending a long time in one country and very possibly, in one location in that country. Some girls have big time wanderlust and if you ask them why they are escorting, they are driven by the urge to put down roots somewhere else.

No matter where you want to travel to, it is important to plan and research your destination. It is also important to be realistic about how much money it will take to live once you get there. Setting aside money every month is a great idea, but realistically, taking money from every encounter and putting it in your travel fund will get you on the plane to Italy or Australia all that much faster.

For some girls, once they have the money to take the big trip, that is the end of their escorting career. For others, escorting is a moveable feast. Either way, once you are on the plane to your dream destination, the escorting decision is yours to make.

Marriage It is easy for an escort to become cynical about marriage as she sees husbands and fathers trooping through their apartment or summoning them to fancy hotels. In fact, a general weariness with men can be the result of a few years in the business. However, lots of girls get past this and have active dating lives.

Escorting will also, at the higher end, have exposed you to some of the more pleasant aspects of affluence. Really gorgeous clothes, fabulous food and luxury days at resorts or spas all underscore the pleasures of wealth or, at least, stability. If you can find clients at this level, it should not be impossible to find a man you’d like to marry. But that will take a degree of preparation.

While it is possible to combine escorting with married life – though you need brilliant time management skills and a very relaxed husband – many escorts will leave the business when a straight relationship becomes more serious. Again, planning is important here.

If escorting is your sole source of income, the prospect of marriage creates a set of dilemmas. Firstly, what, if anything, are you going to tell your prospective husband. If you are not planning on telling him anything then you’ll need a serious cover story. Which, interestingly, takes us right back to avoiding the Blank Spot. While men are often a bit dense when under the spell of a beautiful, sexy woman, the sort of man that you might want to marry is also, eventually, pretty smart. He is going to notice if two years of your life have no real trace. And they will notice if you don’t work, but have money. Of course there are heiresses-like stories that account for this, but unless your parents live in a mansion with a private yacht, it’s hard to pass off as true.

Most of his curiosity will be satisfied if you have been going to school and have the beginnings of a part-time business or if you work part-time. Essentially, that will put the necessary check marks in the boxes and you can get on with creating your happily-ever-after future.

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Escorting gives a girl the gift of time, but it is entirely up to her how she uses that gift to drive towards her goals. However, unlike money, which can be saved; time past, is time gone. While a week or two going here and there, doing this and that, will make little difference over the course of a lifetime, to have a pleasing, fulfilling life after escorting you need to be planning your exit right from the moment you start escorting in any serious way. Doing things which will actually increase your opportunities post-escorting makes a lot of sense, and if chosen well are gratifying in the present and make your future prospects a whole lot rosier.

Putting “The End” at the finale of your escorting life is to have moved on and moved forward. The goal is to be a wiser, stronger, savvier woman of the world, but with an enduring sense of grace and elegance and beauty. Qualities to be found in yourself, your surroundings, and in a well-composed life.