The New Year is a great time to make resolutions, lay out plans, review your business and set goals. But we live in a world of instant gratification and quick fixes–so what can you do right now to measurably improve your escorting business and, while you’re at it, your life?
Five things to strive for 2016: happier, healthier, richer, prettier and calmer. Who wouldn’t want to start the year taking actions which will put all of these within reach. So let’s start.
by Hannah Jay
1. Healthier: Take a Walk, Ditch the “Diet”
That’s right, simplest thing in the world. You don’t need any equipment or gym memberships, just a comfortable pair of shoes and, this time of year, a warm coat. “A walk” has no formal definition. It can be half a block to get a coffee or a mile or two to get your heart pumping and your legs working. It’s about movement and fresh air.
Every bit of exercise you do will help you keep your weight down and taking a longish walk every day will actually help you lose weight and tone your legs and tush. Fresh air will certainly make you healthier than if you sit in a hotel room or your in-call. And there is no doubt that a little sunlight creates vitamin D which is crucial to your health. (And, yes, do wear sunscreen if you are going to be out for more than half an hour.) A little sun replaces a lot of bronzer, blush and foundation.
The psychology of walking is even more beneficial. Whether you walk in silence or with headphones, simply being out the door has a nearly immediate positive effect. Being outside in a city means that you are seeing people, new sights and having the opportunity to experience new things. Something as easy as buying a few cut flowers for your apartment creates a sense of infusing beauty, fun, and passion into your life. Your goal is not just paying the bills on time, walking the dog, and cleaning the oven, it’s about creating a well-lived life filled with joie di vivre. Yes, you should pay your bills on time, take care of your dog, and keep your apartment sparkling and lovely, but don’t forget to also do what you want to do. Follow your heart and your desires and make every day a champagne-worthy day.
It is easy to mistake “calm” for inaction. In fact, taking charge of your life, being the mistress of your own fate creates the situation in which you are actually calm because you are actually in control.
If you begin the New Year with a vow to “diet” you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, decide to eat intentionally. What that means is that you make a conscious decision about what you put into your body. Do you really need chips every day? Is pizza your only dinner alternative? Instead, make friends with your kitchen and your local markets. Where can you find really fresh vegetables, delicious bread? Instead of chips, munch on a handful of nuts and seeds and your skin and hair will reward you, not to mention your waistline. Keep your fridge and pantry well-stocked with the basics and your will never be at the mercy of the take-out menu again. Make your own meals a few times a week, and you will feel healthier, happier and richer. Throw a dinner party to celebrate your newfound talents.
Remember the maxim that you can’t eat what you don’t buy. If you stay away from the center aisles in the grocery store and “buy the edges” where there are fresh veggies, dairy and ethically-raised meat, you will avoid processed foods and, believe it or not, save loads of money.
Cooking your own food takes a bit of time, but as the New York Times food writer Mark Bitman likes to point out, steak is nature’s fast food. Five minutes a side with a salad and you have a tasty, high-protein meal in less than fifteen minutes.
Women can have complicated relationships with food. Simplifying that relationship is about eating because you’re hungry and stopping when you are full. Actually paying close attention to what your body tells you is a critical element to eating mindfully. Begin by setting the table with nice china, cutlery and a linen napkin, light a candle, pour a glass of wine if you like, and sit down to enjoy your meal. Eat slowly, savour each and every bite, and you will find that you are satisfied with less food than if you are madly gulping down dinner over the sink.
Just as importantly, food and eating are not about sin and redemption. You are not a bad person if you have a chocolate éclair, nor are you saintly because you deny yourself carbs; the fact is that what you eat, how much you eat and when you eat are all decisions you make and within your control. Keep a bar of organic 70% chocolate in your cupboard and have a daily nibble. Deprivation just leads to out-of-control eating. If you train yourself to think before you eat, to be mindful about what you put in your body, you’ll find a natural, comfortable, weight. Add a bit of walking and you’ll soon ditch the scale and the tyranny of numbers.
2. Prettier: Develop your Look
Prettier isn’t about botox or plastic surgery, it’s about enhancing your best attributes. Escorting is, to a degree, about fantasy. Your clients are answering your ads and coming to your in-call because they are anticipating an encounter with a willing, pretty, tempting girl. The male mind is mysterious but it runs down certain paths. Appealing to men is often about picking a look and playing with it.
What we do know about men is that, in general, they prefer long hair to short; slim to Rubanesque; blonde to brunette; and curvy to small. (So says a recent article in The Economist.) Which is all very interesting, but how does this translate to your own look?
When you escort you get feedback on how you look and perform simply by keeping track of how many calls or emails or texts you get. Particularly by how many returning clients you get. It is not a perfect metric, but it is a good indication of how successfully you present yourself. So why not use that feedback to your advantage?
While there are certainly some girls who hit the sweet spot on every one of The Economist’s attributes, most don’t. And, in truth, girls who miss the ideal mark can still do very well escorting.
While men in surveys talk about specific physical attributes, what they don’t articulate is what might be usefully called the fantasy element: beauty, brains, sexiness, self-confidence are all part of the package that men are actually seeking.
Once you distinguish yourself from the standard service provider and begin to move a little up-market, your clients expect something which is hard to define, but which any man knows when he sees it.
You don’t have to be the most beautiful woman in the world to turn heads, nor does real style require a fortune spent on designer clothes to look impeccable, glamorous and polished. Err on the side of less rather than more. Aim for a look which is simple, make-up light, and with a hint of glamour to fulfill the fantasy men can’t quite define.
Clear skin, shiny hair and a fit figure make looking good a piece of cake, so spend the most time and effort (and resources) on the things that really count. No amount of icing is going to cover neglect in any of these areas. Find skincare, haircare, and make-up that works for you and suits you. Simple and natural is always best. Begin with the basics and work your way up as your skills, confidence, and finances increase. As far as dressing, focus on classical style rather than of-the-moment fashion. Look for well-made clothes. Vintage and consignment store shopping can build a functional and beautiful wardrobe for a tenth of retail. Avoid “bling” and the horrors of “stripper heels”. You want your clients to see you as incredible value for money, which means you want to look expensive (without spending a bundle, of course). Elevating your escort look up a couple of notches is usually all about cultivating discernment and good taste.
Don’t forgo the feminine. We live in a mass-market world where most clothing is cheap and badly-made seasonal and disposable. Take a cue from the illustrious wardrobes of eras past where clothes were tailored to last decades if you took care of them. Learn these lost and fine arts. Do you even own an iron, let alone know how to press a pleat? By taking the time to dress well, look elegant and feminine, in general you set yourself apart from the commonplace frumpiness which your clients deal with in their regular lives.
And, of course, pretty + feminine= sexy. Lingerie has all three in spades, so take an afternoon and go thrifting and vintage lingerie shopping. Look for a couple of lacy, black slips and wear them. Make a serious resolution that stockings – real stockings with a garterbelt – will be part of your dating and womanly wardrobe. You might even suggest that one of your regulars treat you to some high-end bras and panties with the promise that he’ll be the first to see you model them.
3. Richer: Raise your Rates
Want more money in 2016? Raise your rates. Yes, it really is that obvious. Now, how you raise your rates is a little less obvious. Escorts are selling time; but they are also selling the experience they are providing.
One girl might be charging and getting $100 an hour while another might charge and get $300. Now, there may be huge differences between the girls; but there may be no difference at all. In fact, there are girls who have a couple of escort personas each of which charge a different rate.
In the escort market place, while there are certain minimum rates which generally pertain in particular cities, prices above those minimum rates serve as signals to escort clients. Going from $100 an hour to $125 is an easy step. While it might not seem like much, if you are doing 50 one-hour dates a month, this means an extra $1,250 a month in your pocket. Not small change.
Taking a bigger step, by going from being a service provider to becoming a luxury escort is a bit more difficult because it means really raising your game not merely your rates. But you can easily test the waters by developing a luxury escort persona and advertising accordingly. The price signal of $300 or $500 an hour will change your clientele completely. It will also mean fewer calls, but significantly more money.
A little price bump is an easy way to make a bit more money; whereas a big change in your rates changes your business entirely.
4. Calmer: Relax & Recharge
Escorting can be a crazy business. You have to book clients, update your website, figure out advertising, arrange photographs, be a wizard at make-up and hair styling, assemble a stellar wardrobe, be an alluring enchantress for your dates, and conduct your business with acumen. It is little wonder many escorts suffer from burnout?
Succeeding at your business and taking charge of your life means taming the demands on your life from all sectors, personal and professional. The first step to calm is to take charge of your time. With the phone ringing and the email pouring in that may seem impossible, but a couple of simple moves will get you on track.
Remember the suggestion that you take a walk…well take it. Every day. At least twenty minutes and better still, forty-five. Now, there is a temptation to take your smartphone on your walk. This can be acceptable if all you do is look to see who called and emailed and texted; but do you have the discipline to just look? If not, leave your work phone at home.
Second strategy, set firm working hours. (Firm but flexible because a great regular may be worth making an exception for.) Understand that working hours are not just when you are conducting appointments, they are all the hours you are working on your business. However, if you can confine your encounters to late afternoons and evenings you will have more control over your time, and thus more free time to spend pampering yourself with the non-essential necessities (like bubble baths instead of showers).
Third move, take a serious look at how you set up your escorting schedule. Do you leave yourself enough time between dates to regroup, shower, redo your make up, change your outfit? Half an hour is a bare minimum, an hour is actually better. And this may mean extending your working hours a bit but the down time between dates will pay off because you’ll be fresher and more focused.
Last but not least, learn to say No. Not maybe, just No. This means learning to put your own needs, wants, and desires first for a change. As contrary to the do-it-all mentality women have shackled themselves with, and as selfish as it may initially seem, this two-letter word is a liberator. It is tempting to escort when the clients are calling even if that means working seven days a week. But by taking at least one full day away from your escorting business every week you have a chance to unwind. If you pick a historically slow day, your income will take a minimal hit but your outlook will vastly improve. Also consider putting together long weekends or even weeks away from your business. You are in the business of providing your clients relief from their stress, but don’t forget to take care of your own.
Deploying steps 1-4 will add up to a happier you this new year. By keeping happiness as your ultimate aim, and being ruthless in finding and adding joy in small and big measures each and every day, you can make 2016 successful, prosperous and just a little more extraordinary.