A 2007 study of over 3,000 Americans revealed that between half and three-quarters of people aged 57 to 85 years old were engaging in regular sexual intercourse.
This study paints a portrait of this aspect of older Americans’ lives that suggests a previously uncharacterized vitality and interest in sexuality,
commented Georgeanne E. Patmios of the National Institute on Aging, the primary sponsor of the study.
With this research in mind, it’s really no surprise that escorts often get calls from mature clients. But, escorts often have several issues they must address when they are becoming intimate with an elderly client. Health concerns, bridging the age gap and other issues are of particular importance when working with mature clients. Here are the top 10 concerns escorts have when booking encounters with mature clients—and how to deal with them:
- Impotence is often a problem with older male clients. 15%-25% of men 65 years of age and older experience impotence one out of every four times they attempt to engage in intercourse. Impotence can be caused by several things including high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes. Many men experience impotence not as a direct result of their health conditions, but as a side effect of the medications they take to treat health issues. Additionally, clients without impotence may have issues that cause them to take longer to become erect. Some older men fail to become as hard as they used to be in their youth (so that could surprise an escort who is not experienced with older clients), and their ejaculate amounts may be less. It’s common for men to lose an erection quickly after orgasm and have difficulty become hard again quickly. (Older clients are more likely to orgasm once during an encounter, unlike their younger counterparts.)
- Joint pain may be an issue that impacts your encounters with more mature clients. Arthritis and other forms of chronic pain associated with age may cause clients to be less flexible or unable to sustain more daring positions for long periods of time. Joint pain may also make some clients uncomfortable during sex, even if you’re in “normal” positions, such as the missionary or doggy-style positions. Escorts should offer to move and perform most of the “work” for the comfort of their clients. Also, escorts may recommend a warm bath for a client who experiences joint pain when he comes to visit her. Warm baths help limber up stiff, painful joints, which may make sexual intercourse more enjoyable directly afterward.
- Female clients who are older may experience vaginal problems. Mature women often experience shortening and narrowing of the vagina. The walls of the vagina become thinner and stiffer, limiting its original flexibility and suppleness. Older women have less natural lubrication, which makes these vaginal problems even more pronounced and uncomfortable. Escorts should always take their time with older female clients, giving plenty of foreplay along the way, to increase natural lubrication and allow for more time to become more flexible. Additionally, using plenty of lubrication and a gradual penetration technique may be necessary.
- Many older clients (especially women) have issues with incontinence, which can cause problems during an encounter. As people age, they may lose levels of bladder control or accidentally leak urine, especially when exercising, coughing, sneezing or lifting. During sexual intercourse, extra pressure may be exerted onto their abdomens, which may cause their bladders to leak. Even though these problems can be medically treated, you may want to consider putting a waterproof mattress pad on your mattress under your sheets for clients who have yet to seek medical help. If an accident happens during an encounter, be gracious about it. Your client will likely be embarrassed; blow off the incident quickly and move on to something else exciting for your client.
- Stroke and heart attacks may be a worry. When seeing clients who have experienced heart attacks or strokes, you may worry that intense sexual activity or excitement may throw them back into a serious medical situation. However, the incidence of heart attack or stroke during sexual activity is rather low. Heart patients are usually released by their physicians within three to six weeks of recovering from an attack, and sexual activity is nearly always an approved pastime. Yet even if the odds are all against another heart attack, you may still feel a bit wary. If so, encourage several breaks during especially passionate encounters, slow things down with oral sex or other activities and insist that your client take time to drink water to rehydrate themselves before they leave.
- Many older clients may be unwilling to use protection. Condoms are not the way of the older generation, especially those who have been married to the same partner for many years and have begun seeing new “friends”. In fact, one of out every 10 Americans in the U.S. diagnosed with HIV are over the age of 50 years old. Many older Americans are not well-versed about sexually-transmitted diseases or other infections they can pick up or spread during intimate contact. Due to this lack of knowledge, they may be resistant to wearing or using condoms. Just as you would do with any other client, insist on protection. Don’t break the rules, just because your older client is so sweet and you feel the risk of STDs is low. He could still have something, and you could still get pregnant.
- Escorts should be prepared for an older client whose appearance is a bit different than their younger clients. Wrinkles, graying or white hair and saggy skin may all be issues that an escort will observe with older clients. Their physical attributes will be affected due to their age and gravity. Furthermore, older clients may have more scars—either from life experiences or surgeries. (More invasive surgery techniques were common as these older clients were younger.) Muscle tone of older clients is usually lower. Older people cannot build muscle as well, so their limbs may appear flabby, even if they are not. Skin may be more yellow, due to age, exposure and a lifetime of less-than-healthy diets. Older clients may also have less hair, but more dentures. Many clients will remove their dentures when preparing for an encounter, which leaves their mouths looking quite sunken-in. Don’t be shocked.
- Escorts who see more mature clients should be prepared to exhibit more understanding and consideration than they do with typical clients. Because of issues that an older client may have, an escort must take more time with him. Try out different positions that work best for your client, who may have low stamina, soft erections, limited flexibility and joint pain. You may need to be creative in order to make your client feel that you’ve been wild and crazy with him. Some clients may require additional foreplay in order to achieve a full erection, while others may simply take more patience in dealing with the little issues and problems he may experience related to intimacy with you. To become intimate with a client, you may have to forego full-blown sexual intercourse and engage in other acts that are within the field of abilities of your client. And, don’t forget to communicate with your client. Ask him what he prefers and what feels best. Encourage him to tell you what he wants and how to best accommodate him.
- Conversations are sometimes strained and awkward with older clients. If an escort has limited experience with older people, it may seem difficult to engage in a conversation that interests both parties. However, it’s very possible to find common things to talk about. For instance, your client found you on the Internet, so he must be computer savvy to an extent. He may be informed about current events or some aspects of pop culture. Most older people watch movies or eat out. Food is nearly always a safe bet for conversation, as is traveling and sports. Ask your client about his hobbies and other interests. Many times, even if you can’t think up topics that you may both be interested in, you can find something to talk about by asking him about himself and things he likes to do. If not, there’s always the weather!
- The age gap will always be present. Some escorts have real issues seeing clients who are much older than them. However, others find it really alluring. The “Rhino-kitten” and “Cougar-cub” relationships have been around for centuries (or even longer), and they survive because both members of the duo attempt to compensate for the other. Getting past the age gap is the first secret to a successful encounter with an older client. Don’t expect your client to have the same energy level as you do. Grant that you will have different interests and perceptions about current events. Politics may be a taboo subject, due to life experiences. But, get past the age gap to be able to appreciate and value the viewpoints your client has about life due to his age. Wisdom, compassion and sense of place often come with age. Allow your client to incorporate their uniqueness into your encounters and benefit from the age gap.
As many of these points suggest, many older clients may have health issues or will be relationally different than their younger escorts. However, not all older clients will be this way. Others will be virile, youthful and exuberant about life. They are more fit than their younger counterparts and healthier, too. They stay up-to-date about all things in the news and are avid consumers of media and technology. Don’t cut your client short before meeting him or her. They just may surprise you.