Anybody who works in an industry where he or she deals with the public is apt to run into clients or customers that make random comments that seem to be senseless, rude and insulting. It’s amazing that people seem to think they can make these comments to someone.
When escorts receive this kind of comments, there may be several reasons that a client would say such things. Some clients are simply uneducated about the escort industry, as a whole. Others are nervous and things fall out of their mouths they wouldn’t normally say. However, some comments must be chalked up to the fact that some people are just rude.
Regardless of the reasons, escorts must find ways to respond to the comments. While it’s tempting to respond with only shocked eyes and a scowl, it’s probably not the best way to work through the senseless comment your client just made. Here are the top 10 senseless comments escorts commonly hear from clients and how to respond to them effectively and tactfully:
- “Let me help you find a proper job” The first response that comes to mind may be, “If it’s not a proper job, what are you doing here?” This is probably not the best response to have, especially if you are hoping to keep this client and encourage him to come back for another encounter. When you form your response, keep in mind what the client’s intentions were when he made the initial statement. He probably does not mean anything malicious or critical about your job or you, as a person. He is uneducated and under the impression of the typical escort stereotype put forth by the general media. He probably thinks you are an escort, because it’s a last-resort career option for you. He likely thinks you are regularly subjected to rude, abusive clients. He is simply trying to do you a favor as he sees it. He may also be paying you a veiled compliment: he acknowledges great potential in you and your abilities, and thinks he can land you a job that is more socially acceptable. Your client doesn’t understand that you are empowered through being an escort and enjoy being your own boss, working your own hours, making an outstanding income and getting to know people you otherwise would have no cause to meet.Your response should be gratitude. Tactfully explain to your client that you are happy with your job, but thank him for being willing to stick his neck out for you. You can use humor to lighten up the situation and tease him about not being ready to become an “honest” woman just yet.
- “I don’t think any less of you because you do this for a living” Even though you may be tempted to roll your eyes and shake your head in disbelief at the pot calling the kettle black, keep your retaliation to yourself. Most times, a client doesn’t mean this in a judgmental or demeaning way. He doesn’t intend for it to sound condescending, even if it does. It simply means that he buys into the media hype that escorts are somehow morally corrupt and at the bottom of the social scale, even though he doesn’t see you this way. By making this statement to you, he is trying to tell you that he respects you. Even though the comment came out all wrong, don’t embarrass your client any more by making him feel bad about this misgiving. You can simply thank him or make a joke out of it: “Well, that makes two of us.” That should get a relieved chuckle from him, if he has a sense of humor at all.
- “I usually date younger/thinner/taller/shorter/bustier/prettier/etc. girls than you, but I wanted to try something different” First things first, you can either choose to take this as a critical comment or to accept it as a factual statement that doesn’t intend to criticize you. Odds are that your client didn’t mean this to sound hurtful or comparative. He probably means that he is stepping out of his comfort zone to try the allure of a “different kind of sexy”. He may be sharing his concerns with as a friend (even though it’s the last thing you want).Some clients see the same type of escorts over and over, again, only to always fail to enjoy it. When a client decides to try something new, he is forging forward with a new chapter and is possibly very nervous about it. Your comment to your client should be reassuring and positive. You can say something like, “Well, I’m sure we’re going to have a good time.” You can also praise his courage for trying something new and thank the client for choosing you.
“You must have a weird relationship with your husband/partner/significant other/etc” Firstly, the most important thing to do when a client comments on your status with your partner is to take a deep breath before saying anything. While it’s tempting to point out that at least your husband knows where you are and what you’re doing, it won’t help your date to be informed about your thoughts on his relationship with his significant other. It’s not the time for judgment. Your responsibilities during the session with a client is to ensure they have a good time. Turning the tables on him will just increase tension between you and your client. The best thing to do is to make a comment that will deflect any more attention to the subject at hand. You can make an off-handed comment that your husband is a unique guy who has a very open mind and let it drop. Change the subject to something new….anything different, in fact. Change the subject and don’t allow the conversation to go back to the topic – be polite, but firm; repeat the same topic-changing phrase in the same quiet, monotonous voice. It’s really none of your client’s business how you and your husband deal with the fact that you’re an escort. Even if the client is trying to be complimentary by saying he wouldn’t be supportive of the fact that you sleep with other men, don’t buy into the conversation. Let it drop.
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
—Robert J. Hanlon
“I think I’m a sex addict” Whether your client is or isn’t a sex addict, it’s not for you to say, unless you’re a psychologist or therapist of some sort. You have no professional opinion to give. And, even though you’re an expert in the field, your client probably isn’t expecting you to give an expert diagnosis, either. The best you can offer is a kind word and a non-judgmental ear. If you know of or hear about any professionals in your area that work with sex addicts, you can always recommend a consultation and provide basic contact information for a counselor. Otherwise, simply reassure your client that his impulses are natural and encourage him to get help if he feels he should. Most clients really aren’t sex addicts at all. They are usually experiencing guilt for cheating on a partner or are developing a moral conscience for the fact that they pay for sex. If this is the case, your client needs to work through it on his own, but he certainly doesn’t need any judgment from you.
- “You are too nice of a girl to be in this line of work” You can take offense to this immediately and feel that he is passing judgment on your career, or you can take a step back and reflect before saying anything. Senseless comments like these from clients aren’t usually meant to be critical. He is simply saying that he thinks you’re sweet. Take this part as a compliment. He is also saying that he thinks you should be living a more sheltered life where you don’t have to sell your body to make a living. Often, this comes directly from the misconceptions put forth by the media that escorts live demeaning, physically abusive existences. You can reassure your client that you’re happy in your career. Give examples about things you get to do and see that you otherwise wouldn’t be able to. Provide reasons that you love your job. And, at all costs, avoid getting into long, drawn-out conversations about your career with him. Thank him for caring about your welfare, and then encourage him to have some fun with you during the time left. In other words, distract him and move on to other activities.
- “You have a horrible job” Your response to this should be similar to your response to #6. Keep in mind that your client would be appalled to consider having intimate encounters with people he didn’t feel sexually attracted to immediately. When he thinks about your job, he only thinks of the sexual aspect of it. He doesn’t consider that you get to meet interesting people, see new sights and enjoy luxuries that you wouldn’t be able to afford without the income you get from escorting. Remind him that your job is like any other in the service industry: sometimes you work with VERY nice and attractive people; other times you draw the rude ones. It’s just like any other job where you work with the public. Remind him, nicely, that you choose this job. To top it off, tell him that you and he would have never met if you weren’t escorting — and what a loss that would have been for both of you!
- “Are your boobs real?” Of all questions and comments for a client to make, this may be one of the more frustrating ones for escorts — and one of the most common! Men are fascinated with breasts. From infancy to adulthood, the female breast has paid an enormous role for them. And, if you’ve got a great set of knockers, it’s going to make your client wonder. If your client is really at ease with you, he’s likely to ask. Answer him in any fashion that you want to, as long as you’re nice about it. Lie to him either way. Or tell him the truth. Or you can be coy and ask him to feel them. Then ask, “Did those feel pretend to you? Did you just imagine them?” When he says he didn’t just imagine them, tell him that they must be real, then.
- “You’re not as pretty as my wife” Well, OK. The comment may entice you to say, “Why are you with me instead of her right now?” Don’t. Your client may be feeling guilty for cheating on his wife, so he has to put her back up on her pedestal a little bit. He has to be loyal to her in some regard. This has nothing to do with you — it’s simply his way of staying true to his wife. In some manner. Allow him this. Simply say, “I bet she is very beautiful.” Leave it at that and move on to the rest of the date.
- “Somehow I expected more” Men build up what they expect to experience during an encounter with an escort. Some expect you to have magic powers to give them the wall-piercing, never-ending orgasm, or make their toes literally curl. Alas, even though you’re skilled, you can’t provide an supernatural experience. You don’t live in an XXX-movie. Your client may have imagined what the time with you would be like only to discover that you’re just a real woman. Ask him what he expected and if there’s time left, try to enhance the experience more in line with his expectations. However, don’t feel slighted by the comment if you feel that you’ve performed well during the encounter. Real-life encounters can’t always compare with fantasies.
If, after thorough analysis, you decide that a client is indeed mean rather than not smart enough, use your superpower of never seeing them again.