What do guys want – and get – from male escorts?

My escort name was Jake. If I wanted to know more about you, I’d tell you it was Jacob, off the bat. You can tell a lot from someone by the way they respond to a person’s name. Would they make fun of it, would they test it, or would they think it’s cute? Does it remind them of someone from their past and is that good or bad? After all, we’re in the business of pleasure and it’s bad for business to choose a name that your client may have negative associations with.

by Jake S.

There is a lot I’ve learned over the years: much of which contradicts normal stereotypes about human behavior, while others ardently confirm it. Still, throughout all my adventures one thing remains true. It is that all men are not entirely created equal. Now we’re not talking about penis size, or how much money a man has here. We’re talking there are countless persuasions that turn men on and no one is ever the same. You have to get to know your client in more ways than one.

Yes, men in general do tend to be rather aggressive and assertive to a larger degree, perhaps even considered a bit “penis-forward” when a decision has to be made regarding… well, just about anything. But from my experience as an escort, men are fascinating creatures. I never get tired of them, which was a good thing in my profession. It is a unique challenge to discover what makes them tick, and more importantly what gets them on your side.

One mistake young escorts make is that they assume all men want the same thing. They think they all want a quick fuck and that they’ll never see them again. That’s not exactly the reality. It can be, but I’ve found there’s a story involved that gets lost in assumptions as well as expectations. It would behoove escorts to always be on their game and to always expect the unexpected. That way they’re always in control and never get too bored. Just like any service, repeat customers can certainly have their benefits, if this is something you are looking for. I’d recommend it for a few reasons.

Repeat customers establish long-term economic stability and a pleasant working environment. If you both know what makes each other tick and consent to the agreed upon business terms, it takes a lot of the danger out of the equation. There can also be the situation where a john gets too attached, but this is truly up to the escort to establish clear boundaries and not to push the envelope too much so that the ball is left solely in the customer’s court. You can still have a lot of fun and remain professional at all times.

I’ve noticed while speaking with other escorts that there is a perception that sex work is all the same, which is very wrong. Escorts are, on average, highly intelligent people. Most don’t assume this for reasons of social perception, but it’s clear to me that over the years the more knowledgeable you are about human nature and the complexities of the human condition, the more successful you’ll be at any job…quite literally, I must say. It’s my opinion that escorts are more than just hard working sex-workers. They are fantasies incarnate, entrepreneurs of resourcefulness, and masters of survival and persuasion.

I remember I had a customer once who was an older gentleman. I wasn’t expecting much. I just wanted to do my job and I had only had a few johns before. I was young and didn’t really know what I was doing at the time, but he picked me out for some reason and I began to go about my routine as I had been instructed. The table was set, the lotions were aligned, and the light was lit just enough to make us both look and feel attractive and safe.

He began to take off his tweed jacket and hang it up on the hook on the back of the door. He explained to me that he had just finished teaching a class that afternoon at a local university and hadn’t had much time to go out looking for anyone later that evening. He was a bit of a regular there and his smile was quite cordial. He had obviously grown up in a time much different than today and still he had the moxy to retain a sense of dignity and adventure amidst it all. So, I allowed the scene to play out as it would in order to remain present and vigilant in case anything out of the ordinary occurred.

At this point he was naked and lying on the massage table face up, which was different than what I was used to seeing so early on in the session. I began to lotion up my hands and proceed to touch his thighs when he stopped me. He looked at me dead in the eyes and said, “I just wanna talk.” I had never had anyone say that before. I mean, talking was always in the cards. In fact, it was encouraged in order to gage the client: his likes, dislikes, fantasies, expectations, etc.

I took his lead and pulled his hand off my wrist and placed it gently into my smooth hands. I sat down next to him on the table and he began to tell me stories of his life. I sat there for almost an hour listening to him talk about his experiences as a gay man and a teacher in England; his tragic losses and his deepest desires. All the while he was telling me the stories of his life, he was naked and occasionally touched himself, but never became fully erect. I asked a few times if he would like me to help, but he just smiled and said, “You already are.” I thought that was sweet albeit not at all what I was expecting, but the session continued.

I realized then and there that a lot of what men want from male escorts is to be heard, listened to and acknowledged for something deep down that may be continually overlooked and undervalued by others. Whether that’s their wives, their girlfriends, their students, their bosses or even their parents to a large extent. I’ve had men of all ages and persuasions come to me for services and not once was it ever the same. Sure, a tight ass and a smooth face doesn’t hurt. But you’d be surprised to find out that men are much more complex than we give them credit for.

Men want to be shaken up a little bit. They want someone to talk to that won’t judge them because of all their idiosyncrasies. Guys want to feel from someone else the way they want to feel about themselves. If you can give them that, you’ve done your job, and hopefully you’ll be compensated well for you work.

As the old man left he slipped me $250 as a tip. He wished me luck and hoped he’d see me again: The old man whose life just flashed before me in a series of vignettes spoken aloud, some for the first time. A man who appeared to me with a youthful smile and a belly full of life just wanted to be completely vulnerable with someone else, if even just for an hour. Something transformed in him in that hour and it was such a pleasure for me to witness it. I was happy to give that to him and it made the rest of the day’s work that much more interesting.