So, you want to be an escort? That’s all fine and well, but you must prepare yourself for what the career really entails. It’s not all wine and roses, with great tips thrown in for your outstanding service. It’s hard work, socially unacceptable and can cause you immeasurable heartache, along with providing you personal empowerment and financial freedom, all at the same time.
The escort industry is a unique one that requires a mindset prepared for the trials and tribulations it offers. It’s not just knowing what you’re possibly going to encounter; it’s being ready to accept these facts and changes to your current lifestyle. Consider these elements as you work to establish a helpful frame of mind as you enter into an escorting career:
- Understand that society will look down on you. It’s not socially acceptable to be an escort. Conservatively-minded and extremely judgmental, society has been trained to think that anyone who works in the adult entertainment industry is tainted and innately immoral. As an escort, it’s automatically assumed that you’re dirty, drug addicted and mentally unstable. Your presence is enough to seduce any man, so you are a threat to all women. Any time that a client meets with you for an encounter, it isn’t his own doing. It’s your tempting ways that have detoured him off the straight and narrow path, according to society. She-devil, whore, slut, home wrecker and prostitute are common names for an escort. Most escorts attempt to hide their true professions, out of fear of discrimination for both themselves and their families. Even though the U.S. is supposed to be accepting and understanding of diversity, take a cue from experienced providers that the tolerance of diversity does not extend to the escort industry.
- Expect your family to disown you. Because their minds have been influenced strongly by the aforementioned judgmental society, members of your family may be disgusted by your career choice, choosing to forsake you instead of claim you. If they aren’t immediately judgmental of your choice of professions, they may be so disillusioned as to think that you need saving from yourself and your “poor” choices. Deep, personal and emotional discussions will erupt when your family discover what you’re doing. This is why many escorts attempt to keep their professional efforts a secret from their loved ones. Many escorts experience estrangement from their families after their career is disclosed. If your family accepts your career choice without difficulties, consider yourself in the minority. However, with acceptance or disownment, the dynamics of your family will certainly change.
- Prepare for the fact that you won’t be earning a steady paycheck. Just like all other self employed entrepreneurs out there, your income will ebb and flow as your business fluctuates. Many self-employed professionals (in all industries) claim that it’s either “feast or famine.” You either have more than enough to pay your bills, with more business than you can handle at a time or your work is so slow paying bills is nearly impossible. In order to make your escorting career work for you, you have to budget well and save for a rainy day. While your income may be inconsistent, your regular expenses aren’t. Avoid splurging when you have extra money, unless you have already saved up a slush fund for times that you aren’t earning your targeted income. Additionally, realize that personal crises may prevent you from working, which also means you won’t be getting any money. Illness, injury or personal issues may keep you from your clients, and you will need to resort to savings to fulfill your financial obligations. As long as you’re prepared that your economic situation may be a fluctuating one, you will be ready for an escorting career.
- Know it’s the luck of the draw with clients. Some escorts complain consistently about the caliber of clients they get. Their clients may be smelly, cheap, rude and less than handsome. The type of encounter they prefer is rough and sex-centered. Perhaps, their clients even prefer creepy fetishes that they are a bit uncomfortable with. However, on the flip side, other escorts are happy to share details about their delightful clients who always show up smelling great and toting gifts. These clients have fabulous manners and a witty sense of humor, in addition to be nice on the eyes. It really is up for grabs what kind of clients you get. And, it’s likely that you will attract a variety of types, especially in the beginning. However, as you begin to establish yourself increasingly as a high-end escort, your client list will begin to even out and resemble a more consistent type of clientele. In fact, as you progress in your career, it’s possible that you will be turning down clients you used to would have loved to have for encounters. But, keep in mind, that you will generally attract the kind of clients you advertise for. If your marketing seems upscale and classy, those kinds of clients will call you up. When your promotional efforts seem a bit trashy or sleazy, the clients who are ruder and cruder will probably show up. But, don’t be surprised either way; the world is full of all kinds of people, much like your client list may be.
- Realize that the profession is personally risky. Even though the odds are certainly in your favor for a nice, quiet encounter with a harmless client, you can’t ignore the possibility that your client could have less honorable intentions. Experienced escorts preach the necessity of conducting thorough screening of your clients to ensure they are who they claim to be and to get a head’s up on any criminal records or other violence they may be prone to. Because you are putting your safety into the hands of a complete stranger, it’s also imperative to implement some sort of safety protocol with a friend, family member or body guard. The protocol should include always knowing where you are going when headed to outcalls, a call verifying you made it safely and that things seem okay with the client and a call at the end of the encounter to let the other person know you are safe and sound as you leave. While not every client will pose a risk, some do. You should be prepared for the potential of an unsafe encounter.
- Watch out for STDs. Requiring the use of condoms during encounters that involve sexual intimacy is something that should be a consistent part of your routine. It helps to decrease your risks of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or infection. However, condom use, alone, won’t keep you completely safe. Do your best to quickly examine clients before you become intimate with them. Sometimes, external symptoms are not limited only to a client’s penis. They may show up in various places on his genitals, anus and mouth. If you suspect that a client has an STD, talk to him about it and end intimate parts of the encounter then and there. Know that if you acquire an STD it will affect your ability to work, which will directly diminish your earnings. It can affect you for life, or it may cause you some extreme discomfort during the time it takes to heal.
- Possess a general affinity for people. If you don’t consider yourself a people person, this may not be the right career choice for you. Escorts have to basically like people and being around others. Your communication skills have to be excellent, and it helps to be able to have a conversation about nearly anything with anyone. Escorts who prefer solitude, instead of a socially-based lifestyle, may struggle with the aspects of the career that require them to be outgoing, enthusiastic and personable. The career is people-based and requires personal engagement that some people have difficulties with. If being social is not something you’re altogether comfortable with, developing a persona who is will be essential. Otherwise, every encounter may be uncomfortable for you.
- Guard your privacy fiercely. Clients like to ask a lot of questions, because they are curious about who their escorts are in real life. They will want to know your real name, whether you have a spouse/partner and other details about your personal life. You have to blow off their questions, change the subject or simply refuse to disclose intimate details about yourself in order to keep your personal life private. And, while most clients would never think to stalk you or utilize your personal details in a malicious way, you can never be sure that the information is safe to share. Avoid any issues by simply keeping your details to yourself. This also means that you shouldn’t carry proper identification, bank cards or mail with you that will reveal your true identity. Avoid linking anything related to your career to your real name, such as your website of cell phone number. Once you realize that this is just part of the job, it won’t seem so secretive.
- Expect to wear many hats as an escort. Of course, it’s obvious that when you’re an escort, you are the product that the clients are expecting to sample through booking an encounter with you. But, by making this your profession, you will also play other roles. Marketing is essential to your success, so you will have to become a pro at promotion. Business management skills are required to keep your bills paid, expenses caught up and other details tended to. Accounting talents keep your expenses from consuming all of your income. Your communication skills are necessary to talk to clients and book encounters. You may have to work as a writer (for your profile), photographer (for your pictures) and fashion designer (for your wardrobe). Problem-solving skills are required to address logistics problems, and being your own fitness trainer may keep you looking fit. All in all, it’s not just meeting up with clients and looking sexy. You have to manage and keep up your business.
- Come to terms with the fact that your career choice walks a fine line between legal and illegal. Prostitutes sell sex for money or other valuables. Escorts charge for their time. Under no circumstances do you ever charge for sex. If it accompanies an encounter, fine. If it doesn’t, that’s fine, too. However, while you may have a very clear vision of how your career as an escort is fully legal, others may not. Law enforcement agencies are always on the lookout for prostitution arrests, so you must be very careful about how you market yourself and what you promise clients. Limiting the discussions involving sex with clients is a must, in order to present a clear image that your services do not include sexual acts. Be very clear that your services are time-oriented and include your companionship, nothing else.
- Enjoy sex and physical contact with others. Even though your job is not explicitly to have sexual activity with your clients, it is often an added bonus that you allow your clients to enjoy. To fully embrace your career, it helps if you like physical affection and intimacy. Some escorts absolutely love the physical pleasure associated with becoming intimate with clients. However, others don’t like being touched at all, which makes it even more challenging for them to provide fulfilling encounters to clients who hope that sex might be a consensual activity.
- Grow a thick skin. Because clients are sometimes rude and hurtful with their comments, escorts have to have a tough exterior and high self-esteem to avoid allowing their clients to hurt their feelings. Regardless of the number of photos you post or the details in your profile description, some clients will feel that you’re not quite what they expected when you show up for an outcall. Instead of nicely stating such, they may react with negative comments that are aimed at insulting you. You have to be able to fluff off these insults without letting them get to you or influence your confidence.
- Expect that your “friends” may become jealous of you. If you reveal your success to your friends, the ones with the quotes may become openly envious of you, hostile because of the fact that you had the guts to disregard social imperatives – and they did not; irritated by the opportunities that the career provides you. From shopping sprees to luxurious vacations, your friends may exhibit open admiration and cleverly hidden bitterness. Others might become mooches and expect you to pay for them, too, all of the time. Be prepared to tone things down a notch or become extremely generous. Otherwise, it may be smart to avoid letting anyone know the extent of your career success to keep friends in check.