How to pay and accept payment for escort services?

Everyone wants to be paid for their work, but escorting can present some unique challenges regarding the money involved and the unspoken rules for how to go about handling the transaction. When it comes to first encounters for both escorts and their clients, the main concern is the same for both: not wanting to be ripped off.

by Ashly Lorenzana

Clients may be uneasy when meeting an escort for the first time because they’ve had bad experiences in the past with others. No one wants to meet with someone new just to find out they are a “cash and dash,” type who could care less about following through with their end of the deal.

On the other hand, escorts may also be uneasy because they may have encountered a client in the past who stiffed them or somehow got away without paying them. In fact, you may even try to setup a date with a new escort only to find out she or he demands upfront payment. While this may seem odd or suspicious to you, try to remember that she may very well have a good reason for the way she does things.

Ultimately, it’s your call. You will have to decide if you think it’s worth taking the risk. There are plenty of fish in the sea, as they say. So if it doesn’t feel right, move onto an escort who is willing to see you on more reasonable terms.

At least in my part of the world, it’s pretty common practice for first time clients to place the donation inside a white envelope and make sure to leave it somewhere in clear view for an escort to see. Generally, no one really needs to say anything about it as long as you can both see it and know it’s there.

This all comes back to a piece of advice you may have already heard, which is that discussing money and specific amounts is usually not a good idea and should probably be avoided whenever possible. It’s fairly well known as a law enforcement technique to insist on a verbal exchange of what acts will take place for what amount of money.

I know there is some truth to this, as my mother was arrested for intent to commit prostitution and all she did was show up somewhere and step out of her car. The thing is, she didn’t use much common sense when speaking on the phone with the officers who set her up. They were very clearly asking for amounts and acts, so do your best to steer clear of anyone who trys to pressure you into saying “yes” or “no” to anything too direct.

The fact is that if you are clear in your online ads about your rates (using the common acronyms and other euphemisms of the trade) then there is really no reason for someone to need specifics over the phone before meeting you. Tell them all the information is in the ad and they can go there for clarification if necessary.

Something important to remember is that posting an online ad is not illegal and you cannot be arrested for saying something online about sex in exchange for money. It’s freedom of speech and it’s not enough to go arresting people for. There has to be a furtherance of the act in order to incriminate yourself, so be aware of this always.

Another fact to keep yourself reminded of is that as an escort, what you are really exchanging for money is your time. Your companionship. You’re being compensated because you’re an adult who is willingly entering into a business agreement with another adult, and really everyone is paid for their time, regardless of what it is they do for work. Just stick to that instead of getting lax about discussing amounts and acts.

While rituals like the silent envelope out in plain view can certainly help put escorts at ease when meeting someone new, you should also know that it isn’t fool proof. Personally, I never had any problem with this myself. I always felt it would be rude to look inside one to make sure that it was all there while in the company of someone new. I thought it would be sort of tacky and felt I should give people the benefit of the doubt.

I may have felt differently if someone had ever tried to short me or trick me though. I’m sure my feelings would change and I would be more likely to check. I know one time my mother thought one of her new clients seemed fine, but when he left and she looked inside the envelope, it was stuffed full of paper instead of money.

Obviously this isn’t the right way to treat someone else, but fortunately it seems to be a bit uncommon with online clients who usually want to see an escort more than once rather than burn their bridge after only one appointment.

It also certainly helps when an escort has established themselves as a reputable provider in the online world. Many hobbyists share stories or experiences, so word can get around very fast if you are legitimate and this puts many new clients at ease because they know you’re not law enforcement and they know you are not likely to take their money and run with it.

Bottom line for both escorts and clients is to be careful and watch out for yourself, while doing your best not to come across as disrespectful in any way to one another. If you want to look inside an envelope because you had a bad experience, then don’t be afraid to just admit that. Most clients will understand completely and it will not be taken the wrong way when put in that context.