It can be said that men, in general, are fixated on their careers. Luckily, the gender gap has been narrowing for quite some time, but men are still number one when it comes to motivation by career advancement alone. To many grown-up boys, having the best well-paying job, driving the finest car and screwing a boatload of hotties are usually the most desirable signs that they’ve made it in life. Still, to many others this is not exactly what they are shooting for. Could escorting be a viable option for both camps?
by Jake S.
What if, for instance, we said to a child, “You’re never going to make it. Stop trying.” I’m sure we’ve all heard this once or twice or perhaps a hundred or a thousand times in our life. For some, this sticks with them and they begin to see themselves in such a light that may not coincide with their dreams or the realities with which they find themselves. Others, may choose to disregard such words as simply another projection of someone else’s story and therefore, merely motivation to propel even further into their destinies.
For me, it was clear: I was a sensitive kid. Much of what my parents said, I took to heart. How my teachers viewed me, the grades I got, the way I was taught to be a man, all of it was quite a lot to take in for a child like me.
“You’re not worth my time, you’re a faggot and you’re never going to amount to anything,” turned into believing I was never going to find true love, I was doomed to be a sad, lonely, gay man, and I’d never amount to anything substantial. That was the story I had told myself through the process of making sense out of the messages I was given back then. It wasn’t exactly clear, but I did know in my deepest core, that I was indeed far better than what I was allowing myself to believe, and therefore I had to change… but how?
I spent most of my twenties skirting around, feeling angry for allowing others to hurt me, and hurting others because I was hurt. It was a vicious cycle that I had no idea how to get out of. When you’re out of options, you tend to get quite creative. I looked at escorting as a job between jobs and therefore never thought of it as anything other than a way to get what I wanted, by being used in such a way that corroborated my feelings of inadequacy and abandonment.
Something had to change in order for me to see a different way to live. And so, I began to change my perspective. I changed my perspective to that which I had found was in line with successful people I wanted to emulate. I knew I didn’t want to be someone else, but I knew I wanted to use my life as a learning experience, in order to become better: a more authentic version of myself. Escorting just happened to play a vital role in this process. Let me explain…
With the limitations on our freedom, we often have to learn how to work the system and to find our footing in a world that is forever changing and growing.
This concept I’ve understood deeply through my work as an escort. Taken down to its simplest terms, I not only was in control of my life but I was allowing someone else to control me by offering me money in lieu of my services. I knew what I was getting into, after learning from my mistakes, and therefore offered my freedom in exchange for compensation from the person I had agreed to do business with.
This idea of freedom and bondage, lack and abundance, can be seen in the bedroom as well. The bedroom, for us escorts, is our boardroom. This is where we make the toughest decisions we can and often make our largest payouts in the end. If we take the idea of escorting as a job, we understand it is temporary. Much like the sacrifice we make for offering our services to someone. Not only is the service temporal, but so is the compensation. What we do with our money is up to us, but does it outweigh what we give up for it? This goes back to how we define our work for ourselves.
If we turn our attention now to escorting as a career, we see more of a long-term benefit to our work. We think of our clients as repeat customers, and often friends and business partners. We have more security and safety and our business often grows through word of mouth. We put more time into our business growing naturally and therefore, in the end, put in less effort than the constantly shifting and changing job market for short-term employment.
If we choose to see our work as escorts as a job, we may be more inclined to treat ourselves as temporary and therefore not gain the full grasp of what we are doing and accomplishing., since there are no foreseeable long-term effects involved in our actions. If we look at it as a career, we may tend to become jaded and complacent.
However, on the other side, if we look at our work as a job, we may be more likely to seek other ways to make income and use escorting as a side job to help us through tough times. Alternatively, if we look at escorting as a viable career option, we may also look at what we do as a long-term way of creating income and advancing our own entrepreneurial spirit. This could lead to many other incredible opportunities.
Being in control of your life and your income is a very important aspect of that. If we take our control in our hands, take the idea of abundance and work within the confines of our sense of freedom in this world, there is no limit to the amount of prosperity we will gain from our actions. Whether you see escorting as a job or a career, it truly depends on what you do with your time and energy that is the key.
I started out thinking escorting was a quick fix, then I realized both the dangers and the adventures I could have within the profession. I started altering my perception from a place of lack to a place of abundance, while maintaining a level of groundedness in my thought process. This helped me formulate exactly how I was going to promote and further my career as a sex worker so that I could experience a level of control and freedom that can only be expressed within the confines of our system. It takes knowledge, resources, and people to make anything happen.
Any entrepreneur will tell you; they got that way by taking advantage of opportunities. Much the same can be said for escorts. We market ourselves accordingly to attract the best investors, negotiate our contracts, and perform beyond expectations. This is the key to any business operation and therefore should be seen as such when considering a job or career in the sex industry.
When I was young, I saw any opportunity as the only opportunity. I didn’t know that I could pick and choose and be fully in control of my destiny. I thought, “Oh, someone’s interested in me. I better make my move quick or he’ll leave me for someone else.” That thought pattern had to be picked apart, overanalyzed, and proven incorrect before any action to the contrary could be made. That started with realizing people are not in our lives to leave us. Some people do, in fact, stay and that’s okay.
When I realized I had a say in the opportunities I was going to attract and eventually agree to or not, my life started changing for the better. I didn’t come from a place of lack any longer. I had a stronger sense of self and therefore was able to listen to my intuition better and make wiser decisions. Those decisions eventually led to higher payoffs and better returns on my investments.
My johns started getting nicer, cleaner, older as I started growing into myself more and more. Like a butterfly, I could still flap my wings and attract mates, but I was learning how to use the wind to my advantage and find the joy in the opportunities I was affording myself. Soon it wouldn’t take long for me to fully enjoy my life and see my work as simply an extension of my own personal development.
I looked at each opportunity as a chance to advance myself and my career. This took the shape of raising my rates to fit the kind of clientele I wanted to attract and being more conservative with the kinds of services I was willing to provide. More and more I realized people were merely buying my time rather than my body. I was being compensated for companionship rather than for quickies in the park. I wouldn’t have seen the opportunities if I wasn’t so hell-bent on improving my life.
Encounters turned into day trips and weekend getaways turned into vacations. Soon I was flying high with the rest of them as a guest instead of a vagabond. All the while remembering money does not make one nicer, or cleaner, or wiser on the inside, but it sure does help when making decisions on who and how to spend your quality time. There was a sense of responsibility that came with the desire to feel freer, which turned into more opportunities to test my newfound beliefs. I walked straight into my good from a place of knowing and expectation.
Regardless of how one sees what they do as a job or career, it’s important for an escort to have a clear understanding of what they are doing. You must know that you are capable of incredible things and still remain grounded enough to see reality for what it is. We are the constant creators of our existence, and therefore, our consciousness is a commodity we cannot forsake during the process of negotiation. Never lose sight of your dignity for one moment, while taking care of your own business.
The concept of freedom is a tricky one and takes a strong mind to comprehend. Regardless of why or how long you choose to escort, it’s clear that decisions regarding your health and wellbeing require your utmost attention and consideration. Be conscious of the expectations of your clients as well as the responsibilities required of you in each circumstance. If freedom is something you appreciate, then you will learn how to work within the parameters of the system to create one of your unique volition.
Lastly, regardless of whether or not your work is temporary or permanent, stay strong in your mind and be on the look out for guideposts up ahead. These signs will point you in the direction of your best opportunity; whether that takes the form of something you are able to wrap your brain around at the time or not. Have the foresight to know what your best options are and to go forth in this world with the gusto needed to succeed. After all, it’s your life… make it what you want.