We got a note a few weeks ago from a girl in, of all places, Pittsburgh.
Her note directed us to a website unlike any escorting site we’d ever seen. Pictures, hundreds of pictures, of bars, of restaurants, vintage clothing stores, some high fashion boutiques and, interspersed, shots of a girl. It was hard to tell if it was the same girl from shot to shot.
The words were equally ambiguous. Quotations for the most part. The effect was like a neighbourhood scrapbook of a place we’d never been featuring glimpses of a girl we never saw in full. Of course we were intrigued. Of course we got in touch. Continue reading
The adult entertainment industry includes many unique genres. While they may all have some similarities and provide similar outcomes for customers, they include different methods of achieving client satisfaction. It’s fairly common for providers to begin following one career path, only to change directions as they learn more about other options. Transitioning to another adult entertainment genre is fully possible, if you follow some helpful tips and are altering your path for a good reason.
What are some justifiable and understandable reasons to change career directions within the industry? Continue reading
Any career can drive you to your wit’s end. You can feel like if you don’t get a day, week or month off you’ll scream, trash your office and move you and your family to a deserted island… if only you had the funds! Being a provider for the adult entertainment industry is no different. Although the job may sound glamorous and the pay is outstanding, there are stresses and hazards to the job that make you want to throw in the towel and go work at the corner gas station. But, you go back the next day or night. And, keep doing your thing. But at some point, you may experience an a-ha moment that tells you that you need a break from your career. You need to pay attention when you realize any of these things are true about yourself: Continue reading
As an adult industry actor, you assume that there is no way ever that your professional life will cross over into your personal one. Obviously, what you do as a services provider is much, much different than your role as a wife, mother or daughter, right? That’s pretty true, but certain aspects of your life do cross over and affect your day-to-day life. Consider the following ways that your career impacts your “real” life: Continue reading
Many people have applied multiple reasons in their heads as to why they would never explore the world of being an adult service provider. But, when these excuses/reasons are dismantled, it’s pretty obvious that they really don’t apply—at all! They were probably some of the same things you told yourself, too, before taking up the career, too! Take a look at the top 10 reasons you thought you’d never be an escort: Continue reading
No matter where a girl is on the great wheel of escorting – service provider to courtesan – at some point escorting is going to become a routine. A job. A chore. Now for some girls that is a positive relief. No more worrying about dates, no pressure because everything is predictable: for others it is a huge hint that they need to rethink the whole thing. Somewhere in between is a need to change things up even for a little while. Continue reading
While society is busy bashing and judging your line of work and the industry you’ve chosen for your career, you can idly sit by and know that being an adult entertainment professional is actually making you a better person. So many characteristics required to perform your role well carry over into your personal life and will enhance your personality and create a more fulfilled existence for you and your family.
Okay — and, because the general public is consistently critical of our work, it may be difficult sometimes to recognize all of the redeeming qualities that your job offers. So, stay with me! Here are the top ways being an adult entertainment provider makes you a better person:
- You are more open-minded. In this business, you have to not only be tolerant of other people’s preferences, but you have to be accepting of them, too. You’ve probably seen a little bit of everything! Because clients and customers regularly divulge their deepest secrets and darkest fantasies to you, it’s essential that you react positively to them. And, let’s face it: some of your patrons harbor some pretty kinky mindsets with some “out there” requests. You’ve probably worked in atmospheres that were slightly out of your comfort zone and done things for clients that you never imagined yourself participating in. Due to your experiences, you’ve become a lot less judgmental and more understanding of others’ individuality. This expands to your “real” life with your family members, friends and own children, perhaps. It gives you the freedom to accept them for who they are, without feeling like they must adhere to certain standards or expectations. It allows you to rid yourself of criticism and allow others to be who they are around you.
- You are less worried about money. Upscale adult entertainment providers make good money. Even if you only work for tips, you are still bringing in several hundred dollars per evening, if you’re working in a high-end club. In more traditional careers, you probably would have to work significantly more hours to earn the income you do in the adult entertainment industry. And, unless you’ve altered your lifestyle tremendously, you are very able to support yourself and your family very well on the money that you’re making. Fewer worries about being able to pay the bills or buy special things that your kids need mean that you are less stressed, overall. Being less upset over money means that you are able to enjoy life without that underlying worry that may cause you to be in a bad mood or always angry.
- You have more free time. Because you don’t have to work so many long hours to earn a an income you need for your family any more, you have more time to spend with friends and loved ones. Your priorities shift and spending time with others becomes something that is non-negotiable. By spending quality time with others, you get a chance to learn more about them and bond in ways that you couldn’t before. They, also, get to know you better than they did previously. And, while simply having more free time doesn’t (itself) make you a better person, it allows you to relax so that you are more at ease. When you don’t have to work so much, you get the opportunity to pursue endeavors that are more important to you, such as hobbies, projects or other interests. Maybe you want to do something artistic or pursue your ancestry family tree. Whatever it is, you have more time to do it. Personal interests are often therapeutic and help you develop your personality further. Having the time to devote to things and people personally important to you offers you the chance to avoid other stresses in your life and feel more fulfilled, creating a happier, healthier “you.”
- You have an increased ability to read others. We all know that people are not always what they seem. And, they don’t always say what they mean or share how they feel. After working in the adult entertainment industry, you gain a sixth sense, so to speak, and are able to better anticipate what others may do. For instance, many escorts learn which clients are timewasters, pose security risks and promise to become problems. They can predict behaviors based on what clients say and their actions. Exotic dancers can usually spot good customers a mile away and may know which ones will push boundaries from the first glance. But, even beyond knowing which clients are unsafe and the ones to watch out for, you learn when someone is lying to you or when they simply are hiding their emotions. Much like therapists can see through the exterior of their patients, you may be able to push past walls to get to what’s really bothering a family member, due to working with clients so much. Having this ability to check in with people, without them really knowing it, may help you build relationships with them.
- You understand that everyone has a story. You may meet up with your customers and clients and believe that they have a tremendously wonderful life, until you start to talk with them more. Dysfunctional families, abuse, misfortune, bad health/illnesses, tragedy, addictions and crime all run rampant throughout all of society, regardless of wealth or social standing. It’s pretty easy to judge a book by its cover, before you start reading it. Just like with the people you run into in the industry, itself. Others you work with in the business all come from different walks of life with histories that made them who they are. Before you attempt to pinpoint what someone stands for or why they are the way they are, you’ve learned to find out their back story. That understanding makes you a much more empathetic person who is less judgmental. This also makes you a much nicer person.
- You take better care of yourself. Most adult industry entertainment providers have to be in fairly good physical shape. Your physical appearance requires that you be in fairly good shape, maintain a healthy weight and maintain your personal hygiene. You are probably working out, trying to eat a diet that coincides with your weight/fitness goals and make regular salon appointments to ensure that you look good. And, being healthy from the inside out (exercise and proper nutrition) will help you look beautiful on the outside, too. Your hair and nails will grow and look healthy. Your skin will have a glow to it that indicates you are taking good care of yourself. And, your teeth will look healthy. Additionally, being healthy from working out and good nutrition will balance your moods and enhance your cognitive abilities. It will help you eliminate bad, unhealthy habits — such as excessive alcohol consumption or drug addiction. Overall, having to look healthy for your job will enhance your life exponentially because you will feel better, too. It gives you the best chance possible to be a better, happier person.
- You know how it feels to be judged. Assumptions that you’re stupid, accusations that you’re a whore and pity for being “victimized” are all common judgments that society slings upon you for your career choice. When people find out what you do, they take a couple steps away from you, like you’re dirty or carrying some fungus they will catch. The stigma associated with your job as an adult entertainment provider is very real and hurtful. Perhaps, you slough it off like it’s no big deal. Or, maybe it cuts you to the quick. Regardless of how you deal with the harsh criticism, it’s unfair and resulting from small-minded individuals. Because you know the pain judgment can bring, you are much less likely to spurn others with harsh statements or uninformed opinions. Your understanding of going against the grain is ever present and you have sympathy for others who are struggling.
- You don’t take your work home with you. Unlike people in many professional careers, you aren’t required to drag your work home with you to finish up projects over the weekend or mull over difficult decisions for an upcoming meeting. You go to work, do your job, meet up with clients/customers and come home. You don’t have to meet up with clients or take phone calls on your personal time. Established adult entertainment providers create a schedule of when they are available and only work during those time periods. Otherwise, you are off the clock and not stressed over what thong you’re going to wear at the club that night or obsessing over what to say to an upcoming client. Escorts, exotic dancers, webcam performers and others in the industry do a great job of separating their professional persona from their “real” personality. This allows you to focus in the moment with friends and family members. You’re not darting off to do “just a little” more work or to polish up a project. You are present and accounted for when you’re off the clock.
- You value relationships more. While you may have always thought that your bonds with loved ones were strong, it may be even more important to you now to reinforce them. After meeting up with clients and customers who have so many terribly failed relationships with their loved ones, it becomes even more apparent to you how fragile they are and how much nurturing they require. Seeing your clients broken over a disastrous marriage or dysfunctional family interactions, you know you don’t want to end up like that. It will encourage you to foster friendships, lift up emotional connections you have with others and fix any screwed up bonds you have with loved ones. It may make it easier to say, “I’m sorry;” faster to ask, “What’s wrong;” and more important to inquire, “How can I fix it?” Even just being aware of how essential it is to preserve your friendships makes you a better person, overall.
- You count your blessings more. Even though some of your clients could buy and sell you a thousand times over with their wealth, they don’t really have the blessings in their life that you may enjoy. They lack a lot, which is why they spend their time with you. They may not have a loving family to go home to, which is why they hit the strip club every night. Or, they don’t have healthy, loving relationships with their spouses, which is why they hit your webcam performance every night. Or, they may lack any kind of physical intimacy or affection from anyone in their lives, so they call you for companionship as an escort. While they may have fancy cars and money, they may not have a mother who worries about them. Or, a son who needs snuggles from his mama to fall asleep every night. Your blessings may not be complicated or extravagant. But, they mean something to you and create a fullness inside you that can’t compare to money. After seeing how empty many of your clients are, you realize just how full your life is.
- Your career provides you with a creative outlet. Everyone needs a chance to let their creativity flow. It helps amp up your thinking skills and encourages emotional well being. Because your career choice is less than traditional, you are able to improvise and think “out of the box” as you go about your career tasks. You market yourself creatively, use ingenuity as you come up with costumes for role-play with clients and do a number of other things that involve veering from the “norm” through your job. Using your imagination for work, allows you to be more flexible and fun in your day-to-day activities. You don’t have to be so serious and dull. It may have opened up new possibilities for you in your life that allow you to be more spontaneous and enjoy the simple things in life.
- You are much more confident. Despite the naysayers and societal judgmentalists, you have quite a fan club of admirers out there for what you do. Your efforts as an adult entertainment specialist have earned you goddess-like status with your clients and customers. They think you are beautiful, talented, smart and a joy to be around. Knowing this is enough to give you that boost of confidence you need to move through life successfully. You can be a positive role model for your children with your healthy self-esteem levels. You confidence may allow you to work through trials, tribulations and tragedies that fall upon us regularly. You know that you can handle any situation, so it allows you to take on the world head-on.
The traits that you develop and acquire through your career in the adult entertainment industry easily carry over to your “normal” life. They aid you in difficult situations and help you create a lifestyle full of happiness and value.
If you’re new to the industry, it’s probably pretty easy to come up with a dozen reasons for why being an adult entertainment service provider is a bad career choice. However, there are immeasurable benefits associated with the job, too – you just have to think out of the box and get rid of the negative self talk. Consider the positive changes the career can bring to your life, before you rule it out as a impossibility. Here are just a few of the advantages:
- The pay: Many adult entertainers make hundreds (or thousands) of dollars in a single day/night. It’s relatively common for a sex worker to only work a few days per week, instead of the usual five days (or more) that people in mainstream careers typically show up for. Even individuals who are educated for higher paying occupations often find that they can make more in the adult entertainment industry than they can doing what they went to school for. The fact is that adult entertainment is a niche industry that customers are willing to pay high dollars for. They are doling out money for your open-mindedness, discretion and skills. You may earn as much (or more!) than a doctor or lawyer in the same amount of time. And, it doesn’t require the degrees, student loans or length of time to gain the level of expertise to qualify for the job. In many careers within the industry, you get to establish your own rates, which enables your potential to earn a very fulfilling income.
- Flexibility: Being able to create your own schedule is not often an attribute of a “traditional” career. But, when you work in the adult entertainment business, it’s definitely an option. Blocking out time that you can’t work is totally doable, as long as you leave opportunities for clients to hook up with you during their peak times. Additionally, many careers in the adult entertainment industry work less traditional schedules. Your shifts may rotate during hours that are easier for you to work around your daily life and obligations. For instance, if you have children, you may be able to stay home with them during the day and leave at night to go work, after they are already in bed. Or, you may find yourself only having to work a few shifts per week. Additionally, when you work in the adult entertainment field, it’s very possible to work an irregular schedule, which comes in handy if your life is a little crazy with friends’ and family members’ activities that don’t occur on a regular basis.
- Opportunity to help others: Many customers of the adult entertainment industry are in need of your help. Some have difficulties or challenges in establishing or maintaining a relationship with another person, so they require the company of an escort for some affection and socialization, along with intimacy. Some just need a friendly face and a distraction from other stressers in their lives, so they visit gentleman’s clubs where exotic dancers provide eye candy and entertainment. And, others might need some “intimate” interactions, but can’t and don’t want to leave their homes for it. They may seek out that kind of stimulation from webcam performances. Whatever their reasons, clients and customers often have their own baggage they’re trying to overcome. Adult entertainment providers help out these individuals by just being nice, looking good and having an open mind. Your smile, attention and understanding may go a long way for customers who are lacking that in their personal lives. Being able to help others through your career can be especially rewarding. And, though, you may not think of what you do as world-changing, it makes all the difference to your clients.
- Chance to explore own sexuality: Regardless of what part of the industry you’re in, it’s likely that you’ve found yourself out of your personal comfort zone at least once. Unless you’ve racked up a lot of experience in alternative scenes prior to entering the industry, you’ve probably left a lot of your fantasies as just that. And, it’s probable that you’ve limited your exploration to the boundaries of past partners. Once you become active as an adult entertainment services provider, you will get the chance to push your own limitations and look beyond your “norm.” Requests from clients and employers may stretch you beyond your past experiences. And, as you observe others in the industry, you may be encouraged and intrigued by what you see, leading you to try new things. It’s possible that you will find new things you like and that you’re good at. At the same time, you may discover that something you wanted to try is just not for you. As a result of this trial and error on your part, you become a much more worldly sex worker, with a broader appeal to customers and clients. And, knowing what you like and don’t want is a definite turn on for most of your clientele.
- Opportunity to elevate your goals: To be successful in the adult entertainment business, you have to establish some goals. But, these goals are apt to be much higher than they would be if you didn’t start your provider career. For instance, breaking even may be a standard goal that you would’ve made prior to entering the career field, because that seemed the most reasonable. However, because the means are available to you, your new goals will feature much more. Getting out of poverty, elevating your standard of living, obtaining an education or creating your own business may be goals that are easily accessible to you. In addition, you may see that you can completely change your socioeconomic status in just a few months, if you work hard and appeal to clients. You can establish a whole new lifestyle with your new career.
- Chance to network: As a worker in the adult entertainment field, you get the opportunity to meet a variety of people, often in prestigious and powerful positions. And, while you should never take advantage of your relationships with those who lead impressive lives or earn massive wealth, it’s definitely worth your while to learn from them and make the most of your connections with them. Sometimes, it might just be that they will refer their friends to you for good times. Other opportunities might include mentorships, job recommendations and insider information when appropriate. They might help you connect with the “right” person for a job interview. Or, they might get you tickets to that event you’ve been dying to go to. The old saying of “It’s not what you know, but who you know” is certainly true. Often, knowing the right person through your connections may garner you lots of benefits. Additionally, it’s possible to network within the industry. You may find new people to associate with who understand your lifestyle. And, you will encounter new outlets for work, just through your involvement in the field.
- Gain confidence: Entering into the adult entertainment field can help you build confidence. Most women struggle with self esteem when associated with their own self images. They feel that their bodies are not quite right or dislike other aspects about themselves. When you become an escort, exotic dancer or webcam performer, it’s a little unnerving the first time or two you bare it all for a client. However, after you get a few compliments from your clients, you feel like a million bucks. You get a new appreciation for your ample booty or your porcelain skin, things you may have cursed about yourself prior. Most clients are very generous with compliments and aren’t afraid to lavish you with their own appreciation. They are drawn to you due to your beauty and charm. They regularly let you know how attracted to you they are, which makes you feel like the most admired woman in the world. This kind of attention can really boost your ego and give you the confidence that you can accomplish anything you set your sights on.
- Obtain leadership skills: Gaining confidence from your complimentary clients may give you a boost that will help you take steps toward your own independence from others. And, as you embark on your professional career as an adult entertainment services provider, you will gain leadership skills you may not have even known you had. Many careers within the industry allow for entrepreneurship and being your own boss. This requires you to develop leadership qualities that will allow you to take risks, make tough decisions and strategize your business moves. Being your own boss requires you to set priorities needed to reach goals, in addition to establishing methods that will be most effective to reach those objectives. You will learn how to encourage yourself and gain insight to your own motivations. Truly becoming a leader as you run your own business will benefit you, not only in your professional endeavors, but in your personal life, as well.
- Develop empathy: Without encountering others with difficult life situations or limitations, it’s unlikely that you have any opportunity to gain considerable empathy for people who are battling issues beyond your experience. However, when you work within the adult entertainment services field, it’s very probable that you will come across clients who battle obstacles everyday that make life hard for them. Whether it’s health issues (mental or physical) or traumatic histories that make them unlike others, they require special assistance to feel “normal.” After spending some time with these individuals you will gain empathy for the plight of anyone who struggles to fit in, in any way. They will give you an understanding of how discouraging it is never be like others or to find acceptance. And, you’ll observe, firsthand, how hard they try to be like everyone else, at least on the outside. Even though you may think it’s going to make you “soft,” gaining empathy just makes you a much nicer person. Being able to identify with others with an open mind will create countless opportunities for happiness on your end, in addition to heartbreak for your clients. Learning to have compassion for others is essential in life. However, be sure to not let it take over your business smarts. You are a professional and must retain your business relationship with clients and customers, unaffected by whatever issues they face. But, it helps you to accept their differences and eccentricities.
- Be more open-minded: Most people get in ruts and assume that “normal” is the same for everyone. If you learn nothing else from your experiences in the adult entertainment industry, the most important lesson is that “normal” is different for everyone. Just because you think you’re right or feel your preferences are pretty standard, it doesn’t mean that others will vary widely about what they like. For instance, escorts learn that clients have many sexual preferences that range from role playing, straight-up intercourse to bondage (and everything in between). Some clients prefer plus-sized exotic dancers, while others like thinner ones. Some viewers like fetish webcam performances, while others enjoy plain old self-pleasuring displays. You can’t ever predict what a client will want, so pigeon holing someone into a box isn’t going to get you anywhere. The same is true with life. You can’t “judge a book by its cover,” as the old saying goes. You will learn to accept that people are different and to appreciate that those differences make the world a more interesting and better place.
- Stay in shape: The adult entertainment industry has room for in it for people of all sizes. However, whatever size you are, you still want to be in pretty good shape in order to perform for your clients. Whether porn or escorting is your deal, you need to have stamina, strength and endurance. Even if you’re a plus-sized webcam model, get your legs in shape so they remain shapely and beautiful. Taking care of yourself physically is a requirement for the job, which is a great benefit personally. To perform at your best, get plenty of exercise, sneak in at least 8 to 9 hours of sleep each night, drink plenty of water and eat a balanced diet. This will keep you healthy, inside and out. Having an excuse to keep yourself in good shape is a great advantage to this career.
- Getting to be someone you’re not: One of the most fun elements of being an adult entertainment services provider is pretending to be someone you’re not. One of the most important rules of this industry is to maintain your anonymity. Keep your personal details to yourself for a couple of different reasons: 1) Reduce the chances of a fan/customer/client stalking you or seeking you out in your personal life, and 2) Clients/customers/fans want the fantasy, not the reality. They don’t want to know that you’re a wife and mom with three kids, two still in diapers. They want to imagine you as a hot, dirty librarian, or some other fantasy they’ve got running around in their heads. And, because you shouldn’t be who you really are when working professionally, it gives you the opportunity to recreate yourself in any manner you please. If you’re normally a meek, milder sort, you get the chance to become a wild, rebellious type. You can develop any kind of persona you want, which is really kind of fun and empowering. Being unrestrained to establish your own identity allows you to have freedom and excitement as you become someone new for clients.
Despite your impressions when you first started working there, your experiences may be telling you that the club where you currently perform your exotic dance shows is not up to par. Several factors come into play when deciding whether a club is for you or not. Sometimes a club may appear to be perfectly fine to outsiders, but have several things about it that encourages you to move on down the road. Continue reading
Most escorts enter into the industry with a goal to retire “soon.” It’s not usually a long-term plan to stay in the career for a lifetime. It’s usually a way for a person to amass some serious savings, adopt a more flexible lifestyle and get paid what he or she is worth. Sometimes, it may even be way to acquire enough money to open a business or start a new career adventure. But, many adult services providers find that they seriously miss their old jobs when they go back to “traditional” working environments. If and when you consider quitting the escort industry, consider the top things you will miss about escorting when you leave: Continue reading