My name is Sarah and I have spent the better part of a decade working as an escort in a large metropolitan area in Canada. My experiences have been both interesting and sometimes off-putting. I’d like to help all you fellas out there and offer a bit of advice on what not to do. Let me walk you through the exciting and sometimes strange world of escorting. Continue reading
It’s certainly not every little girl’s dream to become an escort or web cam performer when she grows up. But, when the reality sets in and you find yourself absorbed into the industry as a successful adult entertainment services provider, you realize a number of things you probably take for granted about the career that weren’t even on your radar previously. Consider these things you didn’t even think about before: Continue reading
While society is busy bashing and judging your line of work and the industry you’ve chosen for your career, you can idly sit by and know that being an adult entertainment professional is actually making you a better person. So many characteristics required to perform your role well carry over into your personal life and will enhance your personality and create a more fulfilled existence for you and your family.
Okay — and, because the general public is consistently critical of our work, it may be difficult sometimes to recognize all of the redeeming qualities that your job offers. So, stay with me! Here are the top ways being an adult entertainment provider makes you a better person:
- You are more open-minded. In this business, you have to not only be tolerant of other people’s preferences, but you have to be accepting of them, too. You’ve probably seen a little bit of everything! Because clients and customers regularly divulge their deepest secrets and darkest fantasies to you, it’s essential that you react positively to them. And, let’s face it: some of your patrons harbor some pretty kinky mindsets with some “out there” requests. You’ve probably worked in atmospheres that were slightly out of your comfort zone and done things for clients that you never imagined yourself participating in. Due to your experiences, you’ve become a lot less judgmental and more understanding of others’ individuality. This expands to your “real” life with your family members, friends and own children, perhaps. It gives you the freedom to accept them for who they are, without feeling like they must adhere to certain standards or expectations. It allows you to rid yourself of criticism and allow others to be who they are around you.
- You are less worried about money. Upscale adult entertainment providers make good money. Even if you only work for tips, you are still bringing in several hundred dollars per evening, if you’re working in a high-end club. In more traditional careers, you probably would have to work significantly more hours to earn the income you do in the adult entertainment industry. And, unless you’ve altered your lifestyle tremendously, you are very able to support yourself and your family very well on the money that you’re making. Fewer worries about being able to pay the bills or buy special things that your kids need mean that you are less stressed, overall. Being less upset over money means that you are able to enjoy life without that underlying worry that may cause you to be in a bad mood or always angry.
- You have more free time. Because you don’t have to work so many long hours to earn a an income you need for your family any more, you have more time to spend with friends and loved ones. Your priorities shift and spending time with others becomes something that is non-negotiable. By spending quality time with others, you get a chance to learn more about them and bond in ways that you couldn’t before. They, also, get to know you better than they did previously. And, while simply having more free time doesn’t (itself) make you a better person, it allows you to relax so that you are more at ease. When you don’t have to work so much, you get the opportunity to pursue endeavors that are more important to you, such as hobbies, projects or other interests. Maybe you want to do something artistic or pursue your ancestry family tree. Whatever it is, you have more time to do it. Personal interests are often therapeutic and help you develop your personality further. Having the time to devote to things and people personally important to you offers you the chance to avoid other stresses in your life and feel more fulfilled, creating a happier, healthier “you.”
- You have an increased ability to read others. We all know that people are not always what they seem. And, they don’t always say what they mean or share how they feel. After working in the adult entertainment industry, you gain a sixth sense, so to speak, and are able to better anticipate what others may do. For instance, many escorts learn which clients are timewasters, pose security risks and promise to become problems. They can predict behaviors based on what clients say and their actions. Exotic dancers can usually spot good customers a mile away and may know which ones will push boundaries from the first glance. But, even beyond knowing which clients are unsafe and the ones to watch out for, you learn when someone is lying to you or when they simply are hiding their emotions. Much like therapists can see through the exterior of their patients, you may be able to push past walls to get to what’s really bothering a family member, due to working with clients so much. Having this ability to check in with people, without them really knowing it, may help you build relationships with them.
- You understand that everyone has a story. You may meet up with your customers and clients and believe that they have a tremendously wonderful life, until you start to talk with them more. Dysfunctional families, abuse, misfortune, bad health/illnesses, tragedy, addictions and crime all run rampant throughout all of society, regardless of wealth or social standing. It’s pretty easy to judge a book by its cover, before you start reading it. Just like with the people you run into in the industry, itself. Others you work with in the business all come from different walks of life with histories that made them who they are. Before you attempt to pinpoint what someone stands for or why they are the way they are, you’ve learned to find out their back story. That understanding makes you a much more empathetic person who is less judgmental. This also makes you a much nicer person.
- You take better care of yourself. Most adult industry entertainment providers have to be in fairly good physical shape. Your physical appearance requires that you be in fairly good shape, maintain a healthy weight and maintain your personal hygiene. You are probably working out, trying to eat a diet that coincides with your weight/fitness goals and make regular salon appointments to ensure that you look good. And, being healthy from the inside out (exercise and proper nutrition) will help you look beautiful on the outside, too. Your hair and nails will grow and look healthy. Your skin will have a glow to it that indicates you are taking good care of yourself. And, your teeth will look healthy. Additionally, being healthy from working out and good nutrition will balance your moods and enhance your cognitive abilities. It will help you eliminate bad, unhealthy habits — such as excessive alcohol consumption or drug addiction. Overall, having to look healthy for your job will enhance your life exponentially because you will feel better, too. It gives you the best chance possible to be a better, happier person.
- You know how it feels to be judged. Assumptions that you’re stupid, accusations that you’re a whore and pity for being “victimized” are all common judgments that society slings upon you for your career choice. When people find out what you do, they take a couple steps away from you, like you’re dirty or carrying some fungus they will catch. The stigma associated with your job as an adult entertainment provider is very real and hurtful. Perhaps, you slough it off like it’s no big deal. Or, maybe it cuts you to the quick. Regardless of how you deal with the harsh criticism, it’s unfair and resulting from small-minded individuals. Because you know the pain judgment can bring, you are much less likely to spurn others with harsh statements or uninformed opinions. Your understanding of going against the grain is ever present and you have sympathy for others who are struggling.
- You don’t take your work home with you. Unlike people in many professional careers, you aren’t required to drag your work home with you to finish up projects over the weekend or mull over difficult decisions for an upcoming meeting. You go to work, do your job, meet up with clients/customers and come home. You don’t have to meet up with clients or take phone calls on your personal time. Established adult entertainment providers create a schedule of when they are available and only work during those time periods. Otherwise, you are off the clock and not stressed over what thong you’re going to wear at the club that night or obsessing over what to say to an upcoming client. Escorts, exotic dancers, webcam performers and others in the industry do a great job of separating their professional persona from their “real” personality. This allows you to focus in the moment with friends and family members. You’re not darting off to do “just a little” more work or to polish up a project. You are present and accounted for when you’re off the clock.
- You value relationships more. While you may have always thought that your bonds with loved ones were strong, it may be even more important to you now to reinforce them. After meeting up with clients and customers who have so many terribly failed relationships with their loved ones, it becomes even more apparent to you how fragile they are and how much nurturing they require. Seeing your clients broken over a disastrous marriage or dysfunctional family interactions, you know you don’t want to end up like that. It will encourage you to foster friendships, lift up emotional connections you have with others and fix any screwed up bonds you have with loved ones. It may make it easier to say, “I’m sorry;” faster to ask, “What’s wrong;” and more important to inquire, “How can I fix it?” Even just being aware of how essential it is to preserve your friendships makes you a better person, overall.
- You count your blessings more. Even though some of your clients could buy and sell you a thousand times over with their wealth, they don’t really have the blessings in their life that you may enjoy. They lack a lot, which is why they spend their time with you. They may not have a loving family to go home to, which is why they hit the strip club every night. Or, they don’t have healthy, loving relationships with their spouses, which is why they hit your webcam performance every night. Or, they may lack any kind of physical intimacy or affection from anyone in their lives, so they call you for companionship as an escort. While they may have fancy cars and money, they may not have a mother who worries about them. Or, a son who needs snuggles from his mama to fall asleep every night. Your blessings may not be complicated or extravagant. But, they mean something to you and create a fullness inside you that can’t compare to money. After seeing how empty many of your clients are, you realize just how full your life is.
- Your career provides you with a creative outlet. Everyone needs a chance to let their creativity flow. It helps amp up your thinking skills and encourages emotional well being. Because your career choice is less than traditional, you are able to improvise and think “out of the box” as you go about your career tasks. You market yourself creatively, use ingenuity as you come up with costumes for role-play with clients and do a number of other things that involve veering from the “norm” through your job. Using your imagination for work, allows you to be more flexible and fun in your day-to-day activities. You don’t have to be so serious and dull. It may have opened up new possibilities for you in your life that allow you to be more spontaneous and enjoy the simple things in life.
- You are much more confident. Despite the naysayers and societal judgmentalists, you have quite a fan club of admirers out there for what you do. Your efforts as an adult entertainment specialist have earned you goddess-like status with your clients and customers. They think you are beautiful, talented, smart and a joy to be around. Knowing this is enough to give you that boost of confidence you need to move through life successfully. You can be a positive role model for your children with your healthy self-esteem levels. You confidence may allow you to work through trials, tribulations and tragedies that fall upon us regularly. You know that you can handle any situation, so it allows you to take on the world head-on.
The traits that you develop and acquire through your career in the adult entertainment industry easily carry over to your “normal” life. They aid you in difficult situations and help you create a lifestyle full of happiness and value.
Most of the time, escorts work independently and rarely collaborate with others. Because of this, teamwork and leadership skills used to influence and guide other co-workers aren’t common traits that would normally be considered essential for an escort. However, escorts have to act as leaders in their own enterprises. They must have the confidence and passion that will inspire others to utilize their services and seek out their companionship. Continue reading