I spend the rest of the day thinking hard about the offer that Sophie has made me. I find it difficult to respond to Mike’s text and I spend most of the day avoiding him. When I realize that I can’t put him off any longer I send him a text telling him that I’m feeling under the weather and that I’m going to be heading to bed early. Ever the sweetheart, he tells me that he hopes I feel better soon and if I need him, all I have to do is call.
by Sarah Brooke
Previous episodes of A glimpse into the shadows: An insider’s adventures in the world of escorts:
Our brief conversation only serves to make me feel worse. Why am I even considering this? Five thousand is a good chunk of money but is it enough to jeopardize Mike and I’s relationship for? I have no problem with the morals of it. I don’t think that prostitution is wrong or dirty or demeaning and if I was single I think that I would have no problem accepting Sophie’s request. My real issue is with how it would effect Mike and I’s relationship. There would always be a lie between us. If I participated in the threesome I’d be forced to take that secret to the grave and even if I wanted to come clean to Mike, I couldn’t risk blowing Sophie’s cover just to set my mind at ease.
So my choice is either to turn down the offer or accept it and never speak a word of the threesome to anyone, Mike included. What if I like it and end up wanting to become an escort? What if I don’t like it? If the experience is a bad one, I know that I’ll end up replaying it in my head for the rest of my life. I trust Sophie though and I know this client of hers must be a decent guy if she is even considering obliging him in this way. The movie I’ve been watching starts to roll the end credits and I realize I’ve been staring off into space for the last hour, not paying any attention at all to the screen. Somehow it seems wrong to just sit here and stare at the blank TV so I find the remote and start searching for something mindless to watch. I settle on a repeat of Survivor and for a few minutes my brain shuts off and stops thinking about the threesome.
The break from worry is short lived and I can’t help but think about the threesome again. This time I consider the act itself, how much girl on girl action would the guy be hoping for? While it’s true that Sophie and I had done some experimenting in our teenage years, we’d never fooled around without guys involved. Would her client want us to fuck? Would he want to just sit back and watch?
I pick up my phone and stare at it for awhile before finally dialing Sophie’s number.
“Hello.” She says, stifling a yawn.
“Hey Soph, it’s me.”
“Hey! What’s up?” She says, sounding glad to hear from me.
“Nothing, just trying to watch Survivor but I keep getting distracted.” I say, muting the volume on the TV.
“You can’t stop thinking about the five thousand dollars, huh?”
“I absolutely cannot stop thinking about it. I’ve been thinking about the money and Mike for the past few hours but now I can’t stop thinking about the details of it all. What exactly does he want?”
“He doesn’t want to die without having experienced two women sucking him off at the same time.”
“Does he want us to fool around with each other though?” I ask.
“Yeah, he’d like us to touch and kiss and that sort of thing. I told him no oral sex because I didn’t think you’d be comfortable with it.”
“You’re right about that. Kissing and touching I’m totally fine with but I feel like I’d be a nervous wreck about oral.”
“That’s what I figured. I’ve told him before that you’re more bi-curious than actually bi.” She says.
“Did he care that I’m not fully bisexual?”
“No, not at all. In fact it probably just made him want you even more. Men love thinking that they are watching a straight girl go rogue. It’s kind of hilarious.”
“Soph, does this guy know what I look like? How do you even know that he’ll find me attractive?”
“Sarah, he will find you attractive because you are attractive. Do you really need to be reminded of that?”
“Have you shown him my picture though?” I ask.
She pauses for a moment before answering. “I have. I showed him the picture of us from Carrie’s twentieth birthday.”
“Are you mad that I showed him your photo without asking?”
“No, I could care less. I’d rather him see what I look like beforehand so I don’t show up and he ends up thinking I’m a dog.”
“Nah, he said you were gorgeous. I should have asked you if it was okay to send him your picture before showing him but I wanted to make sure he’d be into you before asking.” She sounds a bit nervous. “I hope that’s okay?”
“I understand. It’s no big deal. Anyways, how was your appointment with Chris? Did you tell him that you’d asked me?” I ask, trying to change the subject. I really don’t mind that she showed Chris a photo of me.
“I did tell him. He brought it up again and I told him that I’d talked to you about it but that he shouldn’t hold his breath.”
“What did he say?” I ask, curious.
“He asked if I was sure there were no other friends of mine that I could trust with this. I said there was definitely no one else that I would trust to know about this and most of all, I don’t have any other friends that I’d enjoy fooling around with.” She says. “Even if I did know someone who would be interested, there’s still no way I’d ever trust anyone else with this. Sarah, I don’t want you to think too much about this though. You need to trust your gut. If your gut is saying no, listen to it.”
“It’s just so much money that I can’t stop thinking about what I would do with it. It’s so tempting.”
“But once the money is gone, then what?” She says.
“Then I guess we’d have to set up another ten thousand dollar threesome.” My tone is serious but I know Sophie will realize I’m joking.
Sophie laughs. “Oh hun, we might be waiting a long time for another ten thousand dollar threesome. I can almost promise you that.”
“Yeah, especially when there are many beautiful escorts out there willing to do the three way deed for much, much less.”
“For under a thousand dollars he could have two very nice looking escorts come over to his house for a whole evening. That’s not what he wants though. He wants someone who isn’t a professional. He’s also very fond of me and says that when he fantasizes about a threesome, he can’t help but picture me in it.”
“I need to keep thinking about this some more but I just wanted to ask you how much we would actually have to fool around.”
“Everything but oral.” She says.
“Oral was the only thing I was really worried about. Well, besides Mike. I can’t stop thinking about how this would fuck up our relationship.” I say.
“If someone walked up to you and offered you five thousand dollars to leave Mike, would you do it?”
I have no response.
“Think about that. Maybe that will help you make the decision.” She says.
“I’ll think about it. I won’t make you wait too long for an answer.”
“I should go, there’s a sink full of dishes waiting for me. I’d advise making a decision in the next few days just because I don’t want you torturing yourself longer than is absolutely necessary.”
“Alright, I’ll let you know soon. Have fun doing the dishes. You’re welcome to come over and do mine afterwards if you’re feeling up to it.” I joke.
“Honestly, I’ve been considering hiring a maid once a week so that I never have to wash another dish or fold another piece of laundry again.”
“Hire me one too then.” I say. “I’m also sick of cleaning up after myself.”
“If you do the threesome with me I promise that I’ll hire you a maid for the next few months. How about that?”
“Like I need more temptation.”
Laughing, Sophie hangs up the phone, leaving me with my thoughts. I turn my attention back to the TV but my mind wanders. If someone walked up to me and offered me five thousand dollars to break up with Mike I’d say no. I know that I would. If that’s the case though why am I still so tempted?