The night seems to drag on forever. I end up drinking way more wine than I should and by 10pm I’m drunk. Trying to drink away my worries has the opposite effect and I’m more panicked than ever. It’s been hours since I talked to Sophie and I had hoped to hear from her by now.
by Sarah Brooke
Previous episodes of A glimpse into the shadows: An insider’s adventures in the world of escorts:
I thank Stella and Michael for the lovely dinner and apologize for drinking so much of their wine and I head outside to wait for my cab. It’s chilly and I wrap my sweater around me tightly. I take out my phone and stare at it, willing Sophie to call. I had tried to call back the number that she called me from but it wouldn’t connect. Once I get home I’m going to look up the phone number for her resort and see if they can track her down for me. I can’t imagine why she hasn’t called me yet and I’m half convinced that she’s been murdered. I’m thinking about how I will explain to her family that she’s been murdered in Cuba when the phone rings and it’s her.
“Hi Sarah.” Her voice is surprisingly calm and collected.
“Sophie, I’ve been waiting to hear from you! I was just planning your funeral.”
“I’m sorry, I lost track of time. We went to the beach and we’ve been talking this entire time.”
“Why? Don’t bother talking to him, Sophie. He’s nuts!”
She sighs and doesn’t say anything for a moment and even though I suspect she might have forgiven him, what she says next sends ice through my veins.
“He’s not crazy, he just has some issues with trust. We talked about it at length and he is really sorry about what happened.”
“I know what you’re going to say but I’m fine, truly. I was surprised he blew up like that but I feel like it’s okay now. He booked me a flight tomorrow night just in case I still wanted to leave.”
“I think you should get on that plane.” My cab shows up and I hop in the back seat. Putting my hand over the phone I greet the cab driver and tell him my address.
“I will if I don’t feel comfortable with him. I feel bad abandoning him when we just got here and he spent all this money on me…”
“Why would you feel bad? For fucks sakes Sophie, why would YOU feel bad!?” I realize that my voice is not only getting angry but that I’m also slurring my words. I make an effort to compose myself, taking deep breaths.
“I did lie to him…” I don’t even know what to say to that. I’m now feeling angry at her, an emotion I’m not used to feeling towards my best friend.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You kept your identity secret from one of your john’s. How can you consider that lying?”
“I mean, it is, by definition, lying…” Her voice is soft and I think my anger might be having an effect on her. I’m not sure if she’s second guessing herself or not but I hope that she is.
“Look, you can do whatever you want, obviously I can’t tell you what to do. Remember that this man knows your full name and fucking home address now. He can destroy you if he wants to.”
“He’s not like that…”
“Bullshit. You have no idea what he’s like. You think you do, but clearly you don’t. He’s manipulating you and you’re falling for it. This isn’t like you, Sophie. You’re smarter than this.”
She doesn’t say anything and I check my phone to make sure she hasn’t hung up. The seconds are still ticking on the call timer and I know she’s still there.
“I don’t even know what to say. You’re clearly drunk and angry and there’s nothing I can say right now to make you understand.”
“Yeah I’m drunk because you had me so fucking worried that I ended up drinking nearly two bottles of wine waiting for your call. I really thought something might have happened to you. Also it doesn’t help that Michael wouldn’t stop talking about such exciting things as winter tires and his gym routine.”
“You don’t need to worry so much…”
“Seriously? You’re going to say that right now? I shouldn’t worry so much? Maybe one of us has to worry because it sure as fuck seems that you aren’t.”
The next thing I hear is the dial tone and I know she has hung up this time. Rage is seeping through me and I can’t believe that she is being this stupid. I don’t care how much money he’s spent on her, his actions are inexcusable. Angry and feeling sick to my stomach, I close my eyes and wait until the cab driver tells me we have arrived. I give him a hefty tip as an apology for the heated conversation he overheard and I head up to my apartment. I’m sure that I’m in for a sleepless night of worry but as soon as my head hits the pillow I’m out like a light.