Commonly occurring in the corporate world, sports arenas and life in general, self-sabotage occurs unconsciously by people who have the skills and talent to succeed beyond their current positions. Escorts are not immune to this self-destructive behavior, and they often hinder their own careers in significant ways through embracing certain hang-ups that they may be unaware of. The less-than-beneficial behaviors may go unnoticed by others, but when examined through the trends they are applied to in life, it becomes apparent that the actions are detrimental to an escort’s success in many ways.
However, once an escort realizes how she is limiting her own growth as a professional in the industry, she can take efforts to remedy her actions and move forward with more positive behavior. Consider these 15 worst hang-ups that ruin an escort’s career and how to fix them:
- Fear of change is something that affects the vast majority of Americans at one time or another. And, it can be extremely limiting for an escort who is on the brink of success. For lots of people, success might mean being required to step outside of their comfort zones and experience something new or unknown. Escorts might find that they are hanging on to outdated fashions, hairstyles or accessories that decrease their abilities to appear modern and stylish, qualities that many clients prefer. Other escorts may be limiting themselves by refusing to embrace new technologies (such as the Internet) or ways of communicating (text messages instead of an old-fashioned phone call). Technology has a huge impact on the way the escort industry functions today, and an escort who refuses to “get with the times” may lose out on considerable amounts of business. Regardless of what an escort is refusing to change about herself or her methods, the fear of change is quite a prevalent one that restricts her abilities to advance in her career. In order to conquer a fear of change, an escort should take baby steps into the transition she needs to take. For instance, instead of completely changing her style, she should incorporate a few new, modern pieces into her wardrobe, noticing how these changes are reflected by people’s opinions around her. An escort who is daunted by technology should try text messaging friends before she plunges in with clients. Slowly becoming comfortable with change is the key to beating the fear of it.
- Fear of success occurs with some of the most successful and influential entrepreneurs in the world. However, at some point, they analyze their situations and determine they are causing their own limitations and shuck their reservations about moving on. Fearing success is one of the most common forms of career self-sabotage there is. Many escorts demonstrate their fears by failing to prepare adequately for encounters, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to clients, not getting enough rest prior to encounters, arriving late to meet with clients and just not living up to expectations. Often, escorts (unknowingly) are afraid to enter into unchartered territory and are scared where success might lead. A more successful escorting career would cause them to face new challenges, which they are unsure they are capable of handling. It might cause their way of life to change. They might be able to move into a newer, nicer place, but that would mean leaving behind their (known) neighborhood. Basically, they feel that success would cause so much change in their lives that they would no longer be happy with how they live. However, escorts who fear success need to realize that improvement will only make their lives better, creating bigger bank accounts and opening up new opportunities for them. They would have a better selection of clients and more security with their professions. Instead of seeing all of the things that would no longer be with their current lives, escorts need to open themselves up to the fact that by succeeding, they are adding to the joy in their lives.
- Emotional fear is another hang-up that escorts frequently encounter as they struggle for success. (Actually, many Americans suffer from emotional baggage they obtained that limits their abilities to bond with others in significant relationships.) They may have experienced traumatic relationship issues with others in their families or through romantic experiences. As a result, they fear connecting with others intimately and genuinely. They put up walls and avoid getting close to others, carefully and aggressively guarding their feelings. When they feel vulnerable to others, they fear getting hurt. Visiting with clients is fairly easy for escorts, because their goals are not to develop true, lasting relationships. However, as clients become regulars, it becomes much more difficult for these escorts to maintain solid connections with them, eventually pulling away, resulting in loss of their clients. To beat this, escorts need to seek deep within themselves to consider what the root of their fears may be. Additionally, taking small steps forward to learn to trust and share emotions with others is the key to overcoming a fear of emotional attachments. Even though it’s said that the escort industry is a no-strings-attached alternative to a relationship, a successful escort manages to bond in certain ways with her clients, in order to maintain them as regulars. Without being able to accomplish this task, escorts will be forced to continually look for new clients all of the time.
- Fear of failure often keeps escorts from taking risks necessary to accomplish more in their careers. They refuse to try new methods of attracting clients, marketing themselves or providing services. Often, challenges go untaken, and escorts become complacent with their current lifestyles, never hoping to exceed their current incomes or statuses. Many of these escorts, who are in the industry for the long term, stagnate; they float through encounters without ever attempting to improve or excel beyond current expectations, because they are afraid that if their new endeavors or risks fail they will be left with nothing. They never take their careers to the next level, even though they might be able to. This refusal to take risks limits an escort severely from further success. To move past this hang-up, escorts should attempt to take risks on small, less important things, such as posting a profile to a new site or changing up the wording in her profile information. After realizing that these changes didn’t pose big problems for her, it’s much easier for an escort to expand her horizons and attempt new things in search of success.
- The inability to say no to others is a huge limitation on success for escorts. Always wanting to be nice, the escort who can’t say “no” spreads herself too thin, trying to do it all. She worries way too much about what others think of her, and she puts herself out there in unfamiliar territory, since she won’t tell someone she can’t do something. She may find herself providing services that she is not experienced at or that she doesn’t like, simply because she won’t tell a client no. Escorts like this have an innate need for acceptance and will agree to nearly anything, just to make a client happy. She juggles her schedules around to please difficult clients, putting her in positions to be late to other encounters. She limits her success by not enforcing her boundaries and rules, allowing clients to deliberately (and, sometimes, unknowingly) walk all over her. Escorts who find it hard to deny requests need to learn to set limits. They have to realize that a client may be unhappy once in awhile due to scheduling conflicts or their own rules about encounters. Escorts can’t be people pleasers and be successful at the same time.
- An escort who can’t admit her own mistakes is her biggest enemy to success. In some escorts’ minds, they can’t do any wrong. They feel that they are seasoned in the industry and know the ins and outs of the profession. Dealing with clients is second nature, and they can quickly identify others’ downfalls and errors. However, these escorts are not perfect. They DO make mistakes and commit faux pas with their clients. Refusing to admit that she commits errors or doesn’t do everything right all of the time can seriously crack down on an escort’s chances at success, as she never realizes corrections to her methods that need to be made. Even though mistakes in business should be avoided, if possible, people benefit from them by learning about actions they should’ve taken or things they shouldn’t have done. Escorts who never admit their errors, never have the opportunity to better themselves from these lessons. Some careful introspection and analysis of situations that didn’t go smoothly is necessary for an escort to overcome her hang-up about always thinking she is right. It’s possible to expand one’s career as a result of learning from bad judgment, if one is able to learn from it. This is probably one of the most difficult hang-ups to overcome, as it requires personal introspection and admittance in order to get past.
- The need to keep up with the “Joneses” is another hang-up that limits an escort’s chances at succeeding in the industry. While setting goals and benchmarks is a good way to strive for betterment in a career, constantly comparing a career to the success of others by way of possessions, living arrangements and numbers of clients is not a way to determine success. An escort who decides her level of achievement by trying to keep up or excel over those around her isn’t looking at the overall picture of her career. Striving to have everything that another escort has is not the key to motivation. Being overly competitive with others won’t ensure success. Escorts who have this need to obtain equal statuses with others need to establish their own goals, separate from those of others around them. They need to figure out what success is to them and how to reach it, not how to achieve someone else’s dram.
- Escorts who are too proud to ask for help also create failure for themselves. In the escort industry, women are expected to be though, independent and capable. They aren’t accustomed to relying on others. But, sometimes, an escort needs some assistance. Whether it’s in a big form (monetary help with bills when she hits a hard time) or small scale (proofreading her profile information), an escort who can’t ask for or accept some help from time to time may be putting strict limitations on her career. Everyone needs some advice, support or love, regardless of what their career choices are. Escorts have to prioritize other aspects of their lives above their stubbornness in order to accomplish their goals of success.
- A fixation on age is a huge hang-up that can cause damage to an escort’s career. A lot of women are worried about getting older and how they will hold up, especially compared to others. Escorts have to be especially conscious of their appearances, due to the significance that their looks play in their careers. But, escorts who become fixated on their age, to the point of it impacting their marketing methods, will severely affect their successes. For instance, an escort who is determined to stay young may continue to market herself as if she is still in her 20s, even though she is obviously in her late 30s. Dressing teenagerish or too young for your age is usually a turn-off to clients. Conversely, though, the escort who considers herself old before she is puts a real damper on what she can achieve. A woman may feel that she no longer looks 20 (at 36) and start to market herself as a mature escort. However, typical “mature” escorts are usually much older than she is, leaving her out of the true circle of what clients who seek mature escorts are looking for. For escorts, it’s important to embrace and accept their true age, not allowing it to label you. Allow your age to enhance you by allowing you life experience and insight, and let clients know that they benefit from those aspects of what you have to offer. Obsessing over age is unhealthy and counterproductive.
- Escorts who are accustomed to always being in control can hinder their careers. Independent escorts are used to being the ones who call the shots. However, life doesn’t always go according to plan and other factors affect schedules, marketing, clients, encounters and other aspects of an escort’s day-to-day activities. An escort who obsesses over details, micro-manages everything and refuses to go with the flow will experience great degrees of stress, anger and frustration. She may resort to only scheduling encounters that adhere strictly to her standards, never considering opportunities that present out-of-the-box adventures. She may not take risks or attempt to excel beyond expectations, because she might end up being out of control due to new challenges or obstacles. As a result, escorts need to learn to let go of unimportant details. They don’t have to constantly direct all activities around them. A great way to start is to realize that an encounter is a client’s fantasy. Allow him to direct your activities. By allowing clients to take some control, an escort learns that she can allow others power without losing her own, which can open up new opportunities for her.
- Escorts who need excitement can be their own downfalls. Some people are adrenaline junkies. Others are drama queens. Some simply act out to attract attention. Regardless of the motivation, some escorts have to be doing something that creates a spectacle or increases the rush of endorphins in order to be happy. Escorts like this may engage in risky behavior, such as having unprotected intercourse, participating in public sex acts or meeting up with clients who pose dangerous threats. Thriving on this kind of excitement, an escort puts herself at risk for injury or worse. She can ruin her career and her life. As a result, it’s important for an escort to tone down her needs for excitement by limiting them to responsible risks. Weighing the consequences against the gains is a great way to start before venturing off into adventures that might not be the most responsible.
- Denial of problems is a huge problem for some escorts in the industry. Even though the stereotype is disliked greatly among those in the industry, the standard image of an escort as a drug or alcohol addict, sex abuse victim or other type of “damaged goods” is true in some cases. However, many of those escorts who do fit this mold refuse to admit their problems. They deny that they have addiction issues or that they’ve been victim to any sort of abuse. Before being able to deal with their issues, escorts must first be able to admit their problems. If they can’t, their problems will continue to plague them in their careers, causing them to continue to have issues with clients, become worse addicts or inflict abuse upon others. Attempting to ignore their troubles will only repress their emotions, causing them to manifest themselves in different ways, often against clients, which does nothing to enhance an escorting career.
The most important thing an escort can do to overcome her hang-ups is to step back and attempt to analyze her life from an unbiased, non-judgmental viewpoint. She has to be able to be honest with herself before she can conquer her issues. Often, an escort can correct her downfalls on her own. Other times, though, she may need professional mental help to reach her success potential.