Even though condom manufacturers report their condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy (with perfect use), that still leaves a 2% chance of failure. When factors such as misuse and malfunction are figured in, WebMD reports that a more realistic percentage — 85% — is accurate for birth control purposes.
Knowing this, an escort should acknowledge that an accidental pregnancy with a client is a possibility, despite her best efforts to prevent it. Even if an escort uses a condom with every one of her clients, there is still a chance that the condom will break, slip off or fail for other reasons. Even if escorts use a back-up method of birth control, which is highly recommended, pregnancy (though unlikely) can still occur.
Despite becoming pregnant by a client being only one of the “worst case scenarios” that an escort might think of when mulling over the disadvantages of her career, it is one that occurs and requires decisions that could seriously impact the future of both her and her client. These steps should be taken by any escort who finds herself in such a sensitive predicament:
- Make sure that you are actually pregnant. Many escorts with regular menstrual cycles start to freak out when their period doesn’t arrive on time. For them, a late period is thought to be a sure sign of a “big problem”. However, instead of jumping to conclusions by assuming that you’re pregnant, you should take action to make sure. According to the Mayo Clinic, home pregnancy tests are extremely reliable as long as they are taken a week after a missed period. If they are taken too early (such as the day of the missed period), there may not be enough of the hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) in the bloodstream/urine to register a pregnancy. However, to ensure accuracy, it is essential to follow all instructions carefully as you take the test. Users rarely get false-positive results, and medications do not interfere with the test results. Once a pregnancy is confirmed through a home test (or two or three!), an escort should verify the results with a blood test at her doctor’s office or a local clinic.
- Identify the client who may be the father. Even though it may be difficult to pinpoint who you think the father could be, it’s important to attempt to narrow it down. Usually, after an examination, your physician can provide you with an expected due date and possible conception dates. Use those conception dates to figure out which clients you saw those days. Certain situations may stick out in your mind as occurring recently, such as a condom falling off or breaking, not using protection with a specific client or a client who tricked you into skipping a condom. Odds are, the experience occurred several weeks prior, so you may have to tax your memory to remember the clients you saw, especially if your pregnancy could have occurred during an encounter with a one-time client, instead of a regular. Even if you don’t want to confront your client, it’s still a good idea to identify who you became pregnant by.
- Consider the options for your pregnancy. There are three basic actions for your situation. In no particular order, the first option is to abort the pregnancy. Depending on your age, lifestyle and personal beliefs, you may elect to terminate the pregnancy, because you don’t want a baby right now or don’t feel like you could raise it the way it deserves. Realize that terminating your pregnancy doesn’t mean that you will have no consequences from the situation; you may experience a wide range of emotions at the time of the procedure and long afterwards, in addition to a sense of relief. Another option is to have the baby and raise it. Of course, it’s unlikely that your client will take an active role in your baby’s life, so you must be prepared to raise it alone (or with your partner, which is quite a lot to ask of someone). Having a baby means more responsibility and increased expenses, in addition to less personal freedom. However, a baby can make your life fulfilled, despite the terms of your pregnancy, if you are ready to become a mother. A final option is to go through with the pregnancy and offer the baby for adoption. Many women experience a sense of loss after giving a baby up, but others report they feel good about giving their baby a good home. Regardless of your decision, it is a difficult one that only you can make. And, you will likely always wonder if you did the right thing.
- Determine whether you want to involve your client(s) in your pregnancy. If you’ve narrowed your pregnancy down to one or two clients, you may be considering telling him, regardless of your decision about the actions you will take concerning your situation. Most clients won’t want to hear this kind of news from their escort. And, he may not believe you. After all, he knows that you do engage in intimate activities with other men besides him, so his argument against being the only “suspect” is somewhat valid. However, if your client remembers a mishap that could’ve caused your predicament or that he talked you into not using protection, he may be much more inclined to hear you out. Plan out what you expect from your client when you tell him your news. Be clear whether you want any kind of support or assistance from him, or be ready to tell him that you only wanted him to know, with no further expectations. If you choose not to tell your client about your suspicions about becoming pregnant by him you will have to make the choice whether to see the client again or not. The client may be bewildered if you refuse contact with him, wondering what he did wrong.
- Consider getting a DNA test to determine paternity, if you elect to have the baby. There are many reasons that paternity is important: 1) A child would be eligible for Social Security or Veteran’s benefits as a dependent; 2) Inheritance rights; 3) Accurate family medical history; and 4) Ability to provide child with a clear understanding of his heritage. No child should be brought into the world thinking that he doesn’t have a father. There are different ways to prove paternity, according to the American Pregnancy Association. Before a baby is born, an amniocentesis can be performed when you are 14 to 20 weeks pregnant. Risks of miscarriage are associated with the test, which involves drawing out amniotic fluid with a long needle. Chorionic Villus Sampling is done when a mother is 10 to 13 weeks along and involves the collection of tissue. Both of these methods require a doctor’s consent. A third non-invasive method is the SNP Microarray and is done through a simple blood draw to analyze DNA. It can be done as early as 9 weeks pregnant and experts report it is 99.9% accurate. Other home DNA tests are available, but they are considered less reliable by experts. Costs for DNA tests range from $200 to $1,600.
- Decide whether you will continue to work while you are pregnant. Many escorts can’t afford to simply quit their jobs, especially if they are going to be keeping the baby. (A baby will cause many more expenses, so extra money is a necessity.) While your current clients may not be excited about your changing curves, other clients are very aroused by the pregnant form. Consider changing your marketing and offer encounters for men interested in pregnant escorts. You may have to look for new advertising sites and directories that cater to this escort preference. Once you’ve established clientele for your pregnancy (and some of your current clients may continue through with you), you will need to address other issues related to your health. You have to pay attention to what your body is telling you: if you’re tired, rest; if you don’t feel good, seek care; etc. You will require more rest, so you should plan to take on fewer clients. Limiting uncomfortable positions (which may change throughout your pregnancy) will be essential. Ask clients to limit how they fondle your breasts; your breasts may be extremely tender and leak breast milk. Nausea may be a concern at the beginning of your pregnancy, and odors and tastes may trigger bouts of sickness. Using more lube becomes important, as your body’s natural lubrication may become limited. Avoiding risky encounters (such as threesomes or threatening neighborhoods) becomes even more important, especially since there are two of you to worry about. Don’t be talked into not using protection – your pregnancy will not protect you from STDs. Your body image may plummet, so it’s important to continue to dress sexy and attempt to feel good about yourself. And, you have to prioritize your doctor’s appointments above your encounters; prenatal care is essential to a healthy pregnancy and baby.
- Realize that having a baby will seriously impact your escorting career. Not only will the sleepless nights and day-to-day care of your baby wear you out, but there are other effects that being a new mother may have on your profession. For instance, it may take several months and a lot of work for your body to return to its pre-pregnancy state. And, even if you have extremely understanding clients, they may tire of waiting for stretch marks to fade or the baby belly to disappear. If you’re nursing your baby, your breasts will change in appearance. You will have to pump breast milk if you plan to be away from your baby for long periods, or scheduling your encounters so that you can always be near your baby at feeding times will have to be a priority. Finding child care for your inconsistent schedule may be challenging, especially if clients expect you to respond to spur-of-the-moment encounter requests. Even though it is possible to escort with a newborn baby, many challenges will present themselves.
- Consider getting counseling or seeking out a support system, regardless of your decision about your pregnancy. If you have the baby or terminate the pregnancy, your emotions are apt to be all over the place (for more reasons than just hormones). You will need someone to talk to about life and how your situation is impacting you. Whether you seek professional help or the assistance of friends and family is irrelevant; the important thing is that you have someone available to talk to.
- Attempt to avoid a tainted view of the escort industry. It’s understandable that you might be pretty gun shy about returning to work; the fear of another accidental pregnancy could really dissuade even the most successful escort. Realize that your situation was a rare incident. However, if you can’t get past your negative feelings about the career, take action to find a new professional path. Use the skills you developed as an escort to work in a more “traditional” job; emphasize your marketing, communication and business management skills to land a great career.
- Know that life goes on, no matter what. Even if it feels like life has treated you unfairly, know that others have it much worse. Accidental pregnancies happen every day. Single mothers raise babies all of the time. Women terminate pregnancies regularly throughout the United States. Despite your predicament, brace yourself for some tough times and look for the light at the end of the tunnel. You’re an escort: that means you’re smart, tough and have the skills to survive anything.