The New Year is a great time to make resolutions, lay out plans, review your business and set goals. But we live in a world of instant gratification and quick fixes–so what can you do right now to measurably improve your escorting business and, while you’re at it, your life?
Five things to strive for 2016: happier, healthier, richer, prettier and calmer. Who wouldn’t want to start the year taking actions which will put all of these within reach. So let’s start. Continue reading
Most escorts enter into the industry with a goal to retire “soon.” It’s not usually a long-term plan to stay in the career for a lifetime. It’s usually a way for a person to amass some serious savings, adopt a more flexible lifestyle and get paid what he or she is worth. Sometimes, it may even be way to acquire enough money to open a business or start a new career adventure. But, many adult services providers find that they seriously miss their old jobs when they go back to “traditional” working environments. If and when you consider quitting the escort industry, consider the top things you will miss about escorting when you leave: Continue reading
People believe that your astrological sign determines your fate in many different venues of life, including your sexuality. Venus, the planet of beauty and love, interacts with other planets and influences your enjoyment of pleasure and enhances your distinct sexual desires. Continue reading
Why is it so hard for providers to have successful, long term intimate relationships? It’s a question I’ve pondered for years, through the filter of my own experiences and observations made about others as well. I still don’t have a totally clear answer that makes sense and explains it all sufficiently. I am also limited by only really being able to speak for myself, so bear that in mind. Others my feel differently and each situation is certainly unique. Continue reading
Escorts have been subject to judgment and stigmatization by the bulk of society for hundreds of years: people assume they are drug addicts, mentally ill, victims of abuse, immoral offcasts, perverts or a multitude of other stereotypes. However, escorts are just like anybody else: they have families, engage in mainstream activities and shop at the same stores as everyone else. Continue reading
Ever have a day when you just want to burrow under the covers and stay in bed? Or go to the beach? Or take yourself and a good book for lunch and a bit of shopping?
If you are human and awake you have those days. We all do. Continue reading
Even though many people naturally assume that working as an escort would be best suited for people who classify themselves as extroverts, introverts actually have a number of traits that make them excellent candidates for the career.
Contrary to popular belief, introverts are not usually anti-social nor do they dislike people. In fact, they can be very personable and social individuals who thrive in smaller groups, which makes them ideal for interactions with a single client during an encounter. If you’re an introvert, consider several reasons why escorting might be for you:
- Introverts don’t mind having limited contact with family members and friends. As an escort, your schedule may be crazy and unpredictable. Despite trying to establish a consistent routine for seeing clients, one will always request a time slot that is not one of your established ones and hijack your social calendar. You will have designated times that you use to communicate with clients and times that you set aside for tending to the business side of your career (marketing, bookkeeping, personal development, hair/nail appointments, etc.). And, when you do see clients, you have to make sure that your availability is at times that is convenient for them. This often results in not having a lot of time to spend with family members and friends. Because they are used to your desire to spend a lot of time alone, they may not find it odd that you are unavailable quite a lot. You will avoid having to explain yourself extensively. And, it doesn’t bother you that you can’t attend the big birthday bash for your uncle or your cousin’s elaborate wedding reception.
- Introverts are accustomed to keeping their feelings and thoughts to themselves. When you’re an escort, it’s difficult to vent about your day or how a client made you feel after work. Traditional jobs provide lots of opportunities to commiserate with co-workers or discuss the happenings after the work day is done with friends or relatives. However, your activities as an escort don’t lend themselves to this kind of conversation, unless they are already aware of your activities and accept your career. Escorts often find themselves required to keep their emotions quiet, for fear of judgment or lack of acceptance. Extroverts have real issues with this, as they are used to sharing everything about themselves. However, as an introvert, you’re ahead of the curve, as you prefer to keep your feelings more private.
- Introverts prefer to stay anonymous. Extroverts really like talking about themselves. They get excited to share a story about their childhood, wild college times or anything else they find amusing or interesting. If they feel like they are limited in what they should share with others, it’s really bothersome for them and feels like horrible self-censorship. But, when you’re an escort, you shouldn’t share everything about yourself with clients. They don’t need intimate details of your life or life story. Sharing as little as possible about the real you is preferable when you’re with clients. They are signing up to spend time with you, not to listen to you blab on about your life. Introverts are much more adept at this, because you’re accustomed to only divulging bits and pieces about your life. You’re much more private by nature and prefer to keep to yourself. This is a huge bonus for you when you’re an escort. Not being tempted to reveal too much about yourself helps you stay anonymous, which is one of the major goals to discretion in the industry.
- Escorting gives introverts the opportunity to be someone else. Always being told to “come out of your shell” really gets old. But, introverts hear this constantly. It’s hard to open up and really cut loose, especially when you’re being held back by your own inhibitions. But, when you’re allowed to pretend to be someone else, it’s easier to reduce the impacts of your own introversion and move past them. Many actors and actresses identify as introverts, but they claim they are able to advance past their own holdbacks because they get to act out another role. Escorts get that chance during every encounter. They can establish an alter ego that is everything they might want to be in real life, but can’t muster the gumption to be all of the time. However, fulfilling that role for a few hours a day is totally manageable. Identifying yourself as someone totally different and living up to that persona can be extremely fulfilling…especially because you only have to maintain that energy for a short time. Live it up and enjoy the freedom to be a new “you.”
- Introverts enjoy their time alone. It’s accepted that introverts need solitude to recharge their batteries, so to speak. Social interactions and other activities with lots of stimuli drain their energy and make them tired and feel like their heads might explode. Even exchanges that only involve one other individual can be excessively draining for an introvert – much more so than they are for an extrovert. The time between encounters that escorts use to perform marketing tasks, communicate with clients and tend to other business details helps an introvert gain back the gusto necessary for future bookings. Many escorts who aren’t introverts may find they get extremely bored during the intervals they spend waiting for their next encounter. But, introverted escorts actually thrive on it. The time they spend with themselves between bookings and the periods they are alone tending to business chores are opportunities for them to regroup and plan for encounters (or other aspects of their lives). They don’t get bored when they are using time solitarily. They are building themselves back up for greatness.
- The escort work environment is perfect for introverts. Because introverted individuals don’t usually enjoy a “traditional” work environment, they are well suited for the privacy and solitude of the escorting industry. In a typical office or other workspace, personal interaction is somewhat required and expected. Communicating with other team members is often crucial to making everything run smoothly. And, there are often several others running around conducting their jobs. With all of this hustle and bustle, introverts often find themselves drained of energy. Being expected to engage in business-related chit chat is hard enough, but then when you factor in the social interaction that is usually part of the atmosphere, it is overwhelming for an introvert. When you’re an escort, there is no need for water cooler discussions or meetings about upcoming activities. You work alone and individually, which means you don’t have to clue anyone else in about your activities, goals or policy changes. Working as an escort produces an ideal work atmosphere for you.
- Escorts and introverts screen all calls. For most introverts, it’s been weeks (months or years) since they answered an unexpected phone call. Often, they allow a caller to leave a message and will return the call when they feel “up” to it. This isn’t just with unpleasant calls – it’s with anyone, including friends and family members. OR – they prefer to text. It’s less personal and doesn’t require as much personal interaction or unexpected conversation. Since, introverts already communicate with others this way, the methods blend quite nicely with how many escorts connect with clients. No escort answers a phone call unexpectedly, unless she is listed as “available” and ready to communicate. She often uses text messages as a way to set up phone conversations. And, she will never pick up a call without checking caller ID first. Screening your calls is a trait that carries over well when you’re an escort and will change very little as you’re acting in your professional capacity.
- Noticing the small details will help you out as an escort. Introverts are known for zoning out from overstimulating activities and observing the smaller details. Most often, they are overwhelmed by social interactions and will phase themselves out mentally so that they are not overcome with stress and anxiety. But, escorts need to catch the finer details about a client, especially when something is just not quite right. This trait of noticing thigs that escape others will help escorts during the screening process and during potentially hazardous encounters. For instance, during the beginning of an encounter, a client may seem extremely nice and charming. However, an introvert may notice that something seems a little fishy, and realize that he has a weapon under his jacket or that there is danger lurking. Protecting your personal safety is of the utmost importance as an escort, and if you’re an introvert, your sixth sense may work in overdrive to keep you out of harm’s way.
- Individual meets are most common for escorts. Escorts rarely have to interact with more than one client at a time. One-on-one bookings and communication efforts are typical of the escort lifestyle. Introverts thrive most in singular meetings and are happiest in small groups. While most people assume that extroverts are best suited for escorting because they can interact with anyone, they actually require larger social gatherings to be fulfilled and happy. Individual meetings don’t really provide them much pleasure or energy. But, escorts with introverted tendencies are able to perform best when they are functioning one-on-one. They are not overwhelmed by activities, conversations and expectations to be the life of the party. They can focus their energies on one individual and tend to that relationship, without worry about providing enough enthusiasm or attention to several others.
- Incall encounters make an introvert happy. Most escorts like to entertain clients in their own incalls. It’s comfortable for them, they have everything they need there and they are able to control the environment, ensuring safety and discretion. However, in addition to the practical sides of preferring to invite clients to your incall, introverts benefit from this arrangement in other ways. Introverts don’t have to become anxious about all of the “what ifs” they may experience as they venture out into the world to meet clients. They are often overcome with worries about the troubles they may run into or situations they may get themselves into. Additionally, introverted escorts enjoy incall bookings, because they don’t have to interact with anyone besides their client. There are no hotel concierges, building door men, valet parking attendants or others that may interrupt their flow as they are on their way to see a client. When you invite clients to your incall, you only expect to communicate with them, which makes it easy and stress-free.
- Socializing is limited to encounters when you’re an escort. Introverts don’t dislike interacting with others; it just drains them of their energy quickly. Escorts get to socialize with clients frequently, but in limited amounts of time, which is perfect for introverts. For instance, an escort usually sets her typical booking time for one or two hours. It’s completely up to them how long they choose to spend with clients. Unlike going to a party or other activity, you’re not forced to engage with people for longer than you are comfortable with. Introverts like people in small doses and can choose to limit their encounters with clients to timeframes that they thrive in. Under these circumstances, introverts may be just as outgoing and enthusiastic as extroverts. It’s when interaction periods exceed their comfort zones that noticeable differences occur.
- Escorts should listen more than they talk. The job of an escort is to engage her clients and encourage them to share and ask for what they want/need. Some clients just want someone to talk to, while being listened to. Others require appreciation and affection. Without listening and paying attention to your clients, you don’t get to the root of why they want to spend time with you, in the first place. It’s essential to stop talking and allow your client to express himself. Extroverts have difficulties doing this. But, introverts do this naturally. They prefer to allow others to talk and take in what they say. Because of this, introverts are hardwired, from the beginning, to be successful escorts. They aren’t chomping at the bit to get their two cents in there. They allow their clients to speak and discuss their feelings, without interrupting or trying to change the subject. That’s the real key to escorting – and, introverts are well equipped to perform in that role.
- Escorts must be highly focused. Extroverts are often distracted easily and like to bounce around on different tasks and goals. Introverts are highly focused and stay on track to their overall objectives. They don’t get sidetracked as easily and maintain their direction as they work on tasks. Escorts have to create their objectives and determine the methods they will use to achieve them. However, many escorts jump around, experimenting with different methods of marketing, never allowing results of one attempt to be fully achieved. Introverted escorts will stick with their original intentions and follow it through, not allowing themselves to be drawn in by other options. This is important for escorts to follow through with their efforts, whether it’s with marketing or efforts with clients.
Even though you may have had several issues that you had to address when you first opted to enter the escort industry, there are many more emotions you have to continue to face and overcome in order to be successful with your clients. Continue reading
Tendencies to settle into an anti-social funk are pretty common when you’re an escort. For your career, you’re accustomed to getting all dolled up for clients. Full make-up, teased and curled hair and the sexiest attire you can squeeze into, along with the whole regalia of lingerie and sexy stilettos are your general uniform as you plan to entertain clients. You have to look your very best when you’re heading out to an encounter, because your clients want a fantasy.
But it can become quite tiresome to have to fix yourself up so much each time you plan to see a client. Depending on your moods, you may actually dread getting ready for an encounter more than you dislike visiting with the clients, themselves. The entire process becomes boring and seems like too much work and effort.
It’s completely natural to want to veg out in your pajamas or favorite sweats when you have some time to yourself and no sessions to be booked. Many escorts find themselves settling into unnatural routines that isolate them from the rest of the world, due to their desires to avoid having to socialize or go out in public when they don’t have to. Finding an acceptable compromise between the requirement to be a social butterfly as an escort and the inclination to become a hermit during personal time is a challenge. Here are some tips to use to strike a natural balance.
- Give yourself the green light to be lazy and anti-social once in awhile. If you don’t intend to spend every waking moment that you aren’t seeing clients cooped up under a rock, don’t sweat your anti-social inclination too seriously. Wanting some down time to simply hang out is fully acceptable. You work hard and serve clients in a demanding career. It’s only natural for you to yearn for a chance to put your feet up, throw your hair back in a pony tail and not feel the need to put on a personal show. Working in a career that demands you to be physically beautiful all of the time will create a desire to just “be.” Not having to dress up, fix your hair or put on makeup is such a relief, when it’s expected of you every other time you leave the house. Allow yourself some space to enjoy the opportunity to simply be yourself with yourself.
- Allow yourself to project a casual image. Pressure to look gorgeous each time you step foot out your door can become overwhelming. The time it takes to maintain a perfect appearance is cumbersome and takes you away from other activities that you may be enjoying during your personal time away from escorting. However, you don’t have to be at your most beautiful level to enjoy a movie or dinner with friends. Adopt an easier to maintain look by not curling your hair every time or adjusting your make-up to a minimal finish. You can still look put together when wearing a sweater and jeans, with a little mascara and lip gloss. Sometimes, the feeling that you have to get ready again is what prevents you from socializing with others. You don’t have to allow it to prevent you from having a good time. Remember, in real life, less is more. Adopt a more natural look and socializing may become much more attractive.
- Recall how much fun your family members and friends are. Sometimes, all it takes to get you off of your couch and out the door is a recollection of a fun time with others. Thinking of a time you and your bestie laughed so hard lemonade shot out of your nose or how much enjoyment you got from people watching with your brother could encourage you to make the minimal effort required to get ready for a day out and about. By staying put at home, you may miss out on all of the family fun or misadventures with your BFF. When you remember the good times you’ve had with others, you will feel persuaded to create more fun times. If you know you always have a good time with the people you are making plans with, it helps make the effort to shower and change worth it.
- Compromise with yourself about an event. If a planned activity really isn’t your cup of tea, promise yourself that after being there for a certain amount of time, it’s okay to leave if you’re not having a good time. In life, it’s true that people are invited to events that aren’t especially fun for them, but they are still expected to attend. By not attending your pal’s bridal shower or her firstborn’s birthday party, you may be disappointing her seriously. You don’t have to do that, but you don’t have to completely dread the activity, either. Tell yourself that if you’re not having fun, you get to leave and pick up take-out you’ve been craving. Or, reward yourself in other ways that make the activity worthwhile. Maybe, on the way home, you will pick up that new bag or shoes you’ve been wanting. Giving yourself an out after arriving is key to feeling positive about going to an activity, in any case, whether you’re an escort or not.
- Agree only to activities that you are looking forward to. Dreading an event or party is going to discourage you from getting ready and cause you to want to hibernate, instead. While there will be some activities that you are required to participate in (your grandparents’ anniversary party at the nursing home, for instance), most don’t necessitate your involvement. If an activity is something you aren’t excited about, don’t go. However, don’t use this as an excuse to just hole up at home. While it’s nice to enjoy some time relaxing at home, you need to get out, too. If you decline an invitation to go to the bar with your girls, opt, instead, to go to brunch with your neighbor. When you line up your schedule with things you enjoy, staying home isn’t nearly as attractive of an alternative.
- Develop the right attitude to have fun regardless of where you are or what you’re doing. Some people just have a sunny outlook on life and can make lemonade from lemons, despite challenging obstacles. Escorts, generally, have that type of personality as they go from encounter to encounter. But, in their personal lives, many of them tend to be much more critical and pessimistic. Ditch the bad attitude and attempt to find something positive about everything you’re involved in. Even if the restaurant you and your boyfriend pick for dinner is TERRIBLE, enjoy the atmosphere and his company. Focus on the positives of the situation, instead of the negatives, and socializing becomes much easier.
- Understand that isolation is unhealthy. Everyone needs friends. Hiding yourself away from others is not doing anything to improve your mental well being. Escorts who find that they are avoiding social activities with friends should try to move past their isolating habits. If you are using the excuse that your friends have stopped asking you to do things with them, it’s time to step up and dole out the invitations to them. They probably quit inviting you, because you always turned them down. They just naturally assumed that your answer was going to be no, so they left you off the party list. Get back on your friends’ agendas by asking them to go to lunch or on an outing with you. You can’t live under a rock and live a happy, fulfilling life. You must work to revive your old interests and hobbies.
- Avoid being paranoid about others finding out your secret. Escorts have an inclination to be overly paranoid that their loved ones will discover what they do for a living and abandon them. However, when you stop associating with them out of fear, you’re still losing them from your life. Stop being paranoid and go out with your friends. The likelihood that they know about your private career is marginal. Unless you’re behaving in a suspicious manner, your loved ones have no reason to think that you’re an escort. Reactivate your social involvement by replacing your paranoia with general confidence in your relationships with friends. They love you for who you are and enjoy spending time with you. Focus on this, instead of your worries about being found out.
- Recognize the signs of depression as you become anti-social. Depression is a common problem for people who work in the adult entertainment industry. They walk fine lines between abiding by their own moral codes and living up to societal standards. Being constantly judged by the culture you live in is hard to deal with and can result in feelings of sadness, hopelessness and despair. These feelings often manifest themselves in self isolation or the avoidance of social settings you once enjoyed. Realize that if you’re just too wrapped up in your own worry or self-judgment to go enjoy yourself socially you might need to seek professional counseling. Depression is no joke. It’s a serious affliction that could be causing your anti-social funk. Get help if you can’t seem to shake it.
- Take some extra time off. Anti-social tendencies might just be the result of not getting to spend much uninterrupted time at home doing what you want to do. An indicator that you need some time off without planned activities or schedules, your desire to hibernate could be completely natural if you’ve been going full tilt with your career and personal life recently. Escorts often attempt to fulfill everyone’s expectations of them. From pleasing your clients to getting your children to and from their practices, games and school, you may be stretching yourself thin. Take a look at your most recent schedule to determine if you just need some down time to enjoy. If so, try to adjust your schedule so that you have some quiet periods to enjoy your own solitude at home. It’s refreshing and may spring you back into the social butterfly you are naturally.
- Make dates that you set in stone. It’s pretty common for escorts to make plans, only to break them when a client offer is too good to refuse. Or, if your escort encounter schedule has been slim pickings lately, you will probably jump at the chance to make a few hundred dollars in an evening, despite having to cancel plans with your gal pals. It’s discouraging to make plans, when it’s possible you’ll have to break them when a client calls. When you’ve ditched your plans so many times, it’s easy to do it again, thinking that you’re probably going to have to cancel anyways. Don’t give in to this urge. Buy tickets in advance to sporting events or performances, make reservations or schedule a date that you can’t cancel. This will keep you excited about your plans, because you know that you won’t be passing them up for the chance to work.
- Schedule FUN plans. It’s not terribly exciting to go grocery shopping and then to the mall for new gym shoes for your kid. These kinds of plans may just discourage you more from doing anything socially with others. But, when you make plans to do something you love, it’s an extra incentive to get off your rear and shed those sweatpants. Go to a concert, catch up with old friends, go dancing or get your creative side going with painting lessons. Establish fun things to do in your life and you won’t even contemplate staying at home on the couch in your pajamas.
- Entertain normal social interactions to offset the dysfunctional aspects of your escorting career. Being an escort is pretty odd, when it comes right down to it. Meeting someone and becoming intimately involved with them a few minutes after the first handshake can be a bit daunting for new escorts. Pretending to be someone you’re not is also the foundation for a truly dysfunctional lifestyle. Try to balance the dysfunctional parts of your professional life with common social interactions in your personal habits. Going out with friends, spending time with family and engaging in community activities will help keep you grounded and in a better position to know who you really are. Many escorts find that they have trouble with their identify after playing the role for so long; a strong circle of friends and family members can help you retain your sense of self. To maintain this circle, you must get up and out of the house.
Supermodels have days where they feel “blah”, fat and simply unattractive. If even they have days like this, it’s no surprise that escorts may experience time periods when they don’t feel like their stellar selves. It happens to everyone. Maybe you’re just a bit out of sorts, don’t feel good or have been struck down with a blow to your ego lately. Regardless of the reasons, escorts have to find a way to carry on and attempt to project that sexy self-confidence that their clients have come to expect from them. Continue reading