It’s really discouraging and frustrating when you pay any kind of service provider for an activity and fail to receive a good experience from it. Whether you’re looking for a babysitter for your child, medical care from a doctor or adult services from an entertainment provider, it’s disheartening when you feel that you didn’t get what you paid for. Understanding why the situation didn’t live up to what you hoped it would is key in scheduling future encounters that will. Some of these reasons can be attributed to being your own fault, while others are clearly beyond your control. Here are many of the reasons:
Reasons That Are Your Own Fault
- You have unrealistic expectations. One of the biggest reasons that you fail to be pleased with an adult entertainment services provider is that you simply expected too much from the experience. Whether the provider is an escort or webcam actress, she is only human. She can’t read your mind or perform miraculous feats. She isn’t blessed with body parts that are physically different than other women on the planet. She may have stellar skills, moves and talent, but she isn’t going to bring you to a level of fulfillment of ethereal limits. It’s just not going to happen, and when you think that this is the norm, you’re going to be disappointed. And, while you should certainly look forward to enjoying your time with her, don’t put so much pressure on your fun time that there is no way it will ever meet your anticipated excitement level.
- You were rude or insulting. When a provider of any kind (adult or otherwise) feels like you’ve been impolite or condescending to them, they are much less likely to try to give you stellar service. Sure, the individual will go through the motions, but she won’t go above and beyond to give you excellent service. Often, you may not even fully realize that you’ve been rude. Keep comments that insinuate a provider is “better than this” or “deserves better” out of your vocabulary during your time with her. These kinds of comments make her feel like you think she’s doing something beneath her or your own levels of morality. Failing to use your manners or common courtesy will also set things off on the wrong foot between you and a provider. And, exhibiting crude behavior, in general, will turn off a provider so much she may be unable to perform with a genuine smile.
- There is a lack of communication between you and your provider. Like mentioned previously, no provider is a mind reader. And, to be able to offer you the best performance possible, she needs to know what you want, desire and expect. A conversation needs to develop that confirms or negates the services she is willing to provide for you, based on your requests. If you’re too shy to voice what you want, expect to be disappointed. If you assume that she will just naturally know what you’re thinking, you’re wrong. Not only does leaving your experience up to chance lead you down a road of possible dissatisfaction, it also sets a less-than-positive tone for you and your provider. She feels tension, because she knows that she has no idea about your hopes for the time with her. And, she feels unsure about what to do to please you. This doesn’t work for either of you. Speak up about what you want and communicate with your provider to ensure you are happy with the experience.
- You failed to read her profile clearly. Expecting a provider to offer services that she doesn’t is one of the most disappointing things for customers. When you expect that she’ll perform fully nude or do other fun things, only to discover that she won’t, it can be a real blow to the fun you’re expecting. When you are selecting a provider from an online directory, it only makes sense to read any information she has posted about herself. But, they all say the same things, right? No! Usually, an escort, webcam performer or dancer will give specific details about what they do to make you feel amazing and the lengths they’ll go to in order to make you happy. But, if you don’t read their information, you don’t know. A lot of customers judge from pictures only, which is a huge mistake in assuming that you know what kind of act a performer will provide without inquiring further. Read the details she leaves for you and ask questions if you’re still wondering about something. But, if you haven’t taken the time or made the effort to even skim her profile, don’t blame her for a bad experience.
- Failing to be punctual can really put a kink in your plans, not in a good way. A lot of clients feel cheated when they arrive for an appointment and discover they won’t be receiving their full scheduled time. An adult entertainment provider is not obligated to rearrange her schedule to accommodate you if you arrive late. Many customers don’t understand that their time is for a slated block…not, an hour whenever. When you log on late for a webcam show, you won’t get to see the entire performance. If you show up late to an escort’s incall, she will only be able to give you attention for the time she booked with you, as she may need to prep for the next client or have other plans afterward. An exotic dancer has blocked out a certain amount of time for her fun with you — if your party starts late, she is not responsible for staying longer. If you’re unhappy that you don’t the entire time you had hoped for, then you need to be sure to be on time next time.
- You received what you asked for, but it wasn’t what you really wanted. It’s pretty common for customers to think they want something, in particular, from a provider, only to find out it wasn’t at all what they really desired. For instance, an escort’s client may request a session centered around bondage. Once in the middle of it, he may find himself screaming out the safe word, realizing that this wasn’t really his thing. But, instead of being able to admit that the experience wasn’t really for him, he may complain about the services rendered. It’s not that the escort provided an unsatisfactory experience. It’s simply that the services weren’t suited for the client. Or, it’s also fairly usual for a customer to request a certain kind of exotic dance performance, when they actually want something a little more hardcore or risqué. It’s not the dancer’s fault that she didn’t dance more provocatively or push the envelope a little more. She was trying to provide the performance that her customer asked for — not the kind he was actually fantasizing about, but too embarrassed to ask for. Ask for what you want. If it’s not your preference after getting it, take responsibility for the mistake.
- Expecting a provider to do all the work will decrease your satisfaction with the experience. A doctor and lawyer can’t do their jobs well without getting input and participation from you. An adult entertainment provider functions in a very similar way. You are not going to get the best bang from your buck if you expect her to do all the work and offer nothing in return. You must give input about what you want. You have to offer feedback along the way. And, you have to be in the right mindset to enjoy what she offers you. If you are not participating and doing what you need to do in order to get mentally and physically ready for a session with a provider, it’s not going to be the bucket list experience you hope it will.
- Allowing outside influences to distract you may cause the session to be less enjoyable. If you’re stressed or worried about something while you’re enjoying the offerings of your provider, you will not be nearly as satisfied with the experience as you would be if you could leave your troubles at the door. Many escort clients find they are unable to climax or enjoy an encounter, due to being distracted by their troubles or woes. Customers at a dance club may not be able to fully focus on the lap dance or private show they are paying for, when they are perplexed by their issues at home or work. While one may think that getting enjoyment from an adult services provider is just the ticket for stress reduction, you have to be willing to set your worries on the back burner long enough to enjoy yourself. A provider can’t be responsible for fully taking all stress off your plate, but she can help distract you if you’re willing to be focused on her, and not all of the other stuff.
- Being drunk or high won’t get you a great experience. Many providers of adult services will turn down any and all business from a customer who is visibly under the influence of drugs or alcohol. When you’re drunk or high, your behavior may be erratic or unpredictable, which turns off providers. They want to know that they are safe with you and able to trust that you will respectfully observe their boundaries. Additionally, when you’re under the influence, you may not fully remember the experience you had with a provider, making it seem like it was unsatisfactory. Also, you may not be able to perform as well. For example, a drunk client may be unable to climax when with an escort. Or, it may be difficult to feel aroused when using downers and getting a lap dance from a performer. Passing out during a webcam performance is also a possibility, leaving a viewer to think that the show wasn’t really all that impressive. (When, in reality, the viewer fell asleep as a result of being intoxicated or high.)
- Failing to explain special needs will ensure a negative experience. If you are physically disabled or impaired in some fashion, your provider needs this information up front to accommodate you during your time with her. Otherwise, she may not know anything about your issue. And, she may not be able to give you the kind of attention you need. Additionally, any kind of anxiety or social disorder should be revealed prior to contact. Anyone who is on the autism spectrum should inform a provider ahead of time, too. “Normal” behavior when you’re on the spectrum is easily explained. But, if a provider isn’t aware of your condition or status, she may be alarmed by behavior that seems different. Expecting a provider to anticipate your needs without giving her proper information is setting yourself up for an unsatisfactory experience. And, that has nothing to do with her skills or talents.
Reasons That Are Not Your Fault
- She is inexperienced. Some providers are completely new to the industry. They are shy or inhibited. They don’t know how to make small talk. They are overly self-conscious or hesitant to provide the kind of services you are expecting. Their inexperience, alone, may factor into the encounter or performance being less than stellar. Additionally, her inexperience pairs with skills or talents that are not fully developed. As in all walks of life, practice really does make perfect. As a provider sees more customers, she will get better and better. Her performance may not be as good as more seasoned professionals. (Disclaimer: some novice providers are naturals and are just as proficient as their expert colleagues.)
- She flopped. Everyone has a bad day. All performers in all genres have flops. Singers hit the wrong notes; actors forget their lines. Providers are just human, too. They make mistakes, have off moments and have issues getting motivated. There may be times that you really did get an experience that wasn’t up to par, simply because your provider just wasn’t up to it. Maybe she was sick. Maybe she was worried about other problems in her life. Maybe she just didn’t have her heart in it. There are times when it is clearly a provider’s fault. And, most will be accountable for it, especially if you mention it politely and considerately. Try to have empathy for her as you discuss the issue.
- Circumstances beyond your control may contribute to a negative experience. The location you’ve picked for the tryst with an escort may be too busy or less than discreet. (Think: housekeeping staff might walk in at a hotel! Geeze!) The weather may cut short or delay your appointment with a provider. (It could cancel your gig, altogether.) Emergencies in your life or hers may create problems with your scheduled booking. Accessibility issues may halt your easy plan to meet up at your escort’s incall. Car trouble could make you late. Traffic might make meeting up across town a hassle. There are a hundred (or more) situations that could make your experience seem like more trouble than it’s worth. While these may not be directly your fault, they aren’t the fault of your provider, either. Sometimes, things just aren’t meant to be.