What is GFE and how far does it go?

GFE stands for “girlfriend experience”, which means extra conversation, extra cuddling and kissing, and a chance of a bareback blowjob. The girlfriend experience is a common service provided by escorts all across the globe. An escort who performs as a girlfriend provides listening, affection, intimacy and emotional support that many clients lack in their personal lives.

The GFE is probably the most requested service provided by escorts, and it’s no surprise, especially when reports like “The Intimacy Prism: Emotion Management among Clients of Escorts” come out with research detailing how clients respond to their encounters with escorts.

According to the report, written by George Washington University sociology professor Ronald Weitzer and Los Angeles sexologist Christine Milrod and published in Men and Masculinities, nearly one-third of all men who see escorts experience deep affection for their escorts and desire an ongoing relationship with them outside of the escort/client boundaries.

After reviewing 2,442 postings in an online forum, the authors of the study surmised something that most escorts already know: pure prostitution is being gradually replaced by high-end, quasi-dating relationships. While there street prostitution is further marginalized, the escort industry is experiencing significant growth in both clients and main-stream attention.

The authors assessed the GFE and said,

Sex is part of the package, but it is coupled with mutual sharing, support and companionship. Like any other commercially packaged leisure activity, intimacy is now readily available for a price.

Very true. Escorts are willing to pull out all the stops in order to engage in a relationship with a client that makes him feel emotionally secure, cared for and appreciated.

Playing with fire

Yet sometimes clients – and escorts – struggle with the scenario and begin to lose sight the boundary lines. The authors wrote in their report that clients struggle with “the unanticipated demands of an evolving romantic relationship and experience tension” associated with the gradual changes. The counterfeit intimacy often transitions into an emotional bond between the two parties, leaving both feeling confused and unsure where the fantasy ends and real life begins.

Escorts are told time and time again that when emotions become involved, they are playing with fire. Clients often attach significance to touching, conversation and sharing their emotions with a sympathetic ear — and those experiences often translate to more than just a professional relationship. It really isn’t anyone’s fault when a client begins to assign an emotional attachment to normal services provided by the escort. In many cases, it is inevitable that a relationship outside of the simple “leave the envelope on the table by the door” scenario occurs. Both an escort and a client may become involved and entangled in the other’s life.

It becomes even more confusing when an escort begins to loosen up her guidelines with a client. Sometimes, because she genuinely enjoys her time with a client, she may allow the two-hour appointment slip into a three-hour encounter without charging any extra fee. Or, she may be willing to do something extra for a client, that she normally doesn’t include in her services. Sometimes, escorts are willing to see a client “off the clock” for a special occasion or other event. When these boundary lines blur, the relationship becomes even more befuddling, and both the escort and the client may be left wondering exactly where their relationship stands.

Even though most clients seek out an experience with escorts without any expectations or desires for anything emotional transpiring, clients who become regulars often develop feelings for their escorts. Emotional connections are commonplace when not only sex, but your inner thoughts and feelings are shared with someone.

When not emotionally vested themselves, many escorts complain that their clients become needy, attached and too involved, without realizing they have opened up a fantasy world for their clients that is believable and desirable. This may be a downfall to being an escort, for someone who is good at her job. An escort who is beautiful, charming and outgoing may find that clients regularly fall in love with her, especially when she is consistently giving them the GFE. She has to remember to always instill her boundaries in order to never give her client the wrong idea or to lead him on senselessly.

However, that is not to say that it’s the escort’s fault. To the contrary, it’s a part of human nature. Even though common culture states that women are more prone to attach emotional significance to sex than men are, many men who are lonely or looking for an emotional attachment may imagine they find that with an escort who is simply being nice to him…sometimes doing her job as a paid friend.

Can it work?

Each situation is completely different, and it’s impossible to determine whether a relationship built from escort/client encounters is workable. While the emotions experienced for an escort may be very real on the part of the client, the escort’s emotional attachment must be genuine in order for there to be any future in the relationship’s success.

Sometimes, both people are equally involved and wrapped up in each other. When that occurs, it’s great! Other than working out logistics, their relationship may have a future, if they can get past the fact that the escort still sees and showers other clients with attention and intimacy, too. The fact that the escort still has other clients is often a sticking point for many relationships. Because the escorting business is her livelihood, a client shouldn’t expect his girlfriend to give it up. However, jealousy over the attention she gives to other clients can become a real issue that undermines the success of a romance.

Other times, a client may feel more for his escort than she feels for him. Even though they may attempt to make a romance work, it will be difficult to separate the “pay for play” portion of the relationship with the real emotional aspect of the connection. Escorts enter the business with the intention of avoiding deep emotional attachments to their clients. They may have genuine affection for their clients, but they know that it isn’t good business to become romantically involved. Clients who expect escorts to just jump into their arms after a steamy encounter will be sadly disappointed. These things take time, and it may never grow into the relationship a client hopes it will.

All that being said, clients should never expect to find his one and only through an escort directory. And, an escort should never anticipate that a client is going to come along and whisk her off her feet, marrying her to make “an honest woman out of her”.

While these things do happen, the escort industry is not a dating service that is expected to culminate in in a wedding.

If you are looking for a date, call an escort. If you are looking for a wife, don’t look among escorts. In fact, you might want to remember a legendary one-liner from Punch:

A piece of advice to young men about to get married: Don’t.