You are not buying an escort

Escorts see a wide variety of clients who touch on all levels of socio-economic statuses. From middle-class clients to the very wealthiest A-listers, escorts provide them with companionship and time through their services. To an escort, all clients are charged the same rate, providing that time with them is not overly difficult or taxing. But, many clients assume that by offering an escort more money, they will achieve certain privileges or “rights” due to their generosity.

Additionally, some clients theorize that because they are giving an escort money, they are, in a sense, buying her for the time, giving them the go ahead to treat her any which way they please. This is a misconception that all clients need to get past. When you pay an escort her fee, it’s just like remitting the cost for an attorney, doctor or other professional who charges for his/her skills, time and experience.

For clients who think they can buy an escort, here are obvious reasons that they need to change their way of thinking:

  1. Encounters are entirely consensual. When you contact an escort and discuss the kinds of services she provides, keep in mind that she is not guaranteeing that the described services will be included in the encounter with you. She is talking vaguely about the activities she sometimes engages in with clients. When the two of you meet one another for the first time, it’s appropriate to feel each other out and get to know one another. The rest of your relationship with this escort is dependent on that first encounter. Everything that happens afterward relies on the chemistry you help to create within the first few moments of that first meeting. Everything about an encounter is consensual, on both you and your escort’s part. The decision to meet, the choice to engage in intimacy and the option to see each other, again. All elements of an encounter are based on mutual agreement. You are not entitled to any kind of specific service, just because you paid your money to her. It is her choice whether she becomes intimate or sexual with you. And, it’s possible that some escorts work as social companions, only, which means no amount of money will persuade them to become intimate with you.
  2. Limits exist, despite your payment of an escort’s fees. Some clients feel that when they hand over their “contribution,” they are automatically granted a free hand to do anything they want, especially if it’s something that is usually deemed acceptable by the escort. While it IS true that you are paying for her time and presence, you don’t own her. Even though you may have paid $200 for an hour of her time, it doesn’t mean that she has to engage in activities that she is unwilling to participate in, just to fulfill the payment you offered. The escort/client relationship does not work that way. Many escorts have a variety of activities that they are uncomfortable providing to clients. You can’t expect an escort to discard her preferences, principles or beliefs just because you handed over a couple of Benjamins to her. By paying the requested rate, you are, in essence, agreeing to abide by her policies and exclusions to the encounter.
  3. Your fee covers her time, nothing else. Meeting up with an escort is an agreement to pay her for her time spent with you. A booking may be for an hour or more (depending on the arrangement you make with an escort) and you should receive all of that time, unless something happens to make her feel threatened or insulted. During that time, you might talk, play cards, watch TV, dance or make love. The activities are completely secondary to the business agreement you have made with an escort. You are guaranteed her time and company, nothing else. Any intimate services or attention you receive or get to engage in are totally unrelated to the fee you paid her. Your fee didn’t buy a blowjob or swinging-from-the-chandelier sex. It bought her time. Clients who think they can throw out a little bit of money and be assured that an escort will do anything they want are clearly mistaken.
  4. Escorts deserve more respect than to be viewed as purchasable. When you spend money for an encounter, you are not purchasing goods; you are paying for time. To suggest that the fee you remit is payment for her body is disrespectful to your escort. Thinking that she is only worth a couple of hundred dollars is insulting and disgraceful. Your escort is a living, breathing human being with brains, personality and feelings. She may be well educated, beautiful, caring and great fun to be around. Her many positive attributes make her worth so much more than just the few hundred dollars you pay for an encounter. Clients should never think that they are buying an escort for the evening or that she sells her body to them for a booking. It doesn’t work that way and clients who feel this way about escorts are not fully appreciative of what they have to offer. Paying an escort doesn’t mean that she will be your servant in the bedroom (or anywhere else, for that matter).
  5. More money won’t get you more “fun.” Many clients believe that money can buy them anything, even happiness. They expect that if they just sweeten the deal a little bit, they can get a lot more. If you are guilty of this in parts of your life, do not try it with an escort. You will get turned down and, possible, blocked from future encounters. Escorts charge for the time you spend with them, not for the things they do with you. By offering to pay her and additional $50 (for example), you won’t get any extra privileges than you do by not paying the extra money. Escorts deliver the same level of service to all clients, including the same types of activities (depending on consent). While the extra money might be tempting for an escort, she isn’t going to like you any better because you pay more, and thus allow you more leeway as a client. You still won’t get past her limitations, regardless how much you pay her.
  6. An escort is not obligated to spend time with you, just because you paid her. Clients don’t always understand that an escort doesn’t have to spend the entire booking time with a client if she feels the encounter isn’t going well. By paying an escort, yes, you are contracting her to be with you for a specific time period. But, if you insult her, threaten her or cause her to feel at risk, she has every right to walk away from you, leaving the encounter at any time. Escorts have to look out for their safety and own self esteem. If your actions threaten either one of them, an escort is wise to get away from you. She doesn’t have to accept negative or abusive treatment, just because you paid her. She is not your property and you can’t control her. Clients who think that when they hire an escort she has to stay for the duration of the encounter, despite ill treatment, do not understand how hiring an escort works.
  7. Gifts don’t get you special treatment. So, you offered her a new iPod or a bottle of perfume. That’s very nice of you. But, don’t expect that it will get you a special favor that your escort has already embargoed as a non-service. And, don’t expect it to buy you another half hour, especially if you were late in the first place. Of course, escorts love gifts from their clients. Extra perks such as electronics, lingerie, luxury cosmetics and shopping sprees at their favorite boutiques are excellent ways to surprise your escort and show your appreciation. But, that’s what they should be for. Gifts given to show genuine affection and gratitude are wonderful. But, gifts given with strings in the form of expectation of rewards are not received well. Make sure that you don’t have any ulterior motives when you give an escort a gift.
  8. Returning clients don’t get special perks. Loyalty and return business is very much appreciated by escorts. They adore clients who keep coming back for more encounters. After all, they don’t have to go through the steps to screen a return client. And, upon meeting up for the booking, there isn’t that awkward first-time jitters that are usually present for both an escort and her client. Repeat clients are great for business, but don’t expect that you will be awarded special favors, just because you’re a regular. If an escort told you that anal sex is off the table during bookings, it’s an exclusion for that one and all encounters scheduled afterward. It’s not magically added to the list of acceptable services just because she’s seen you before. While you may gain genuine affection for being a regular, it won’t get you special activities that an escort has already prohibited. And, it won’t get you extra time, either.
  9. An escort’s time is her own. Don’t expect that you can pay an escort a little bit extra as a way to keep her to yourself. When you aren’t paying for her time and aren’t with her, she has the right to go about her life as she pleases. Some clients assume that if they pay an escort additional money, that they some way can control her life. Unless you adopt a sugar daddy or genuine relationship with your escort, you have no right to influence her life other than during the hour of your booking. You can’t limit the number of clients she sees, her relationship with special partners or where she goes during the day or night. You can’t pay her to be yours. An escort is not a kept woman; she is a companion for hire.
  10. An escort may not always have time for you, despite how much you pay her. A successful escort has a long list of clients and a full schedule. She typically sets up blocks of time that she plans to work and won’t veer from that, except for something very special or if she needs the extra cash that an encounter would provide. When you call to book time with her, you can’t expect that she will be able to consistently schedule an encounter with you at the very time you prefer, unless you reserve a specific time regularly. Some clients think that by offering a premium for juggling her schedule it will buy them a booking that was otherwise unavailable. But, for an escort, this is bad business. She can’t call another client to reschedule them, just because you’ve offered to pay more money. That’s poor customer service for the other client. Additionally, it sets a precedent that an escort isn’t willing to live with: it allows you to think that you can control her schedule with a little wad of cash.
  11. Escorts treat all clients the same, despite how much they pay her. An escort offers affection, appreciation, respect and compassion to all of her clients. She isn’t going to give you extra attention, respond to repeated text messages or go to dinner with you, simply because you tip well or offer to pay a premium rate. Even if you pay $200 instead of the usual $150 per encounter, she is going to deliver the same kind of service to other clients that she gives to you. She attempts to be at her best during each booking, giving her clients top-notch service and attention. By paying your escort more, you are being generous, but you should know that she’s already giving you the best she has.
  12. Your powerful position doesn’t impress her. Knowing that you’re a high-level executive or have seven figures in your bank account doesn’t sway your escort into liking you more, thus providing you more leeway in the services she provides. You can’t con her into activities, simply because you are extremely successful as a business professional. She is not a young intern, impressed with charisma and power (think: Monica Lewinsky and President Bill Clinton). She is an educated, successful business woman in her own right. She isn’t sucked in by the fact that you are the “big boss” at your corporation.
  13. An escort’s policies apply all of the time. She has rules about being late, paying up front and the limitations she has on services. She enforces policies about leaving when the encounter is over and won’t answer phone calls when she’s “off.” It doesn’t matter how much money you offer her, she won’t adjust her policies for you. Money is not an influencing factor when it comes to an escort. You can’t bargain for special rights or the option to bend the rules.

Many wealthy clients get the idea that their important roles and bank accounts can buy them special status in life. And, while it may be true in some facets of their lives, it doesn’t work with escorts. Escorts are running a business and are concerned with their reputations and overall performance. While they certainly don’t want to offend you (or discourage you from well-intentioned tipping), they need you to respect them enough to know that your money doesn’t buy their love or their affection. It only buys their time.