Escorts who establish the right mindsets can be extremely successful. They need to be focused, ambitious and confident. Failure can never be an option, and they must not let their concerns or fears get the better of them.
However, it’s sometimes difficult to shake some concerns as you start out in an escorting career. It’s common for women to have anxiety or hesitation about various aspects of the profession. Anytime that you begin a new job, for example, some apprehension is expected. Usually, the apprehension subsides and confidence is acquired that the job switch is a positive one. Once in awhile, though, it takes longer to feel comfortable with the new position. In the escort industry, it’s essential to overcome these fears and concerns in order to be successful.
Escorts who allow such fears and concerns to hold them back will not reach the levels of success they have the potential for. It’s integral to overcome these top 10 concerns to have a profitable and growing escort career:
- You are not responsible for others’ decisions – they are. You are not helping your clients cheat on their partners. You are neither a homewrecker nor the much-hated mistress. You are giving people what they want, and those who don’t want your offer do not go looking for you in the first place. In the beginning of their careers, many escorts worry that they are assisting their clients in doing “bad things” like cheating on their SOs. This mindset poisons your life and should be dumped. First, every person has their own version of good and bad, so you don’t have to feel bad if you don’t. Second, the truth is that if your client is determined to be unfaithful with or without you, he will find another escort to exchange time and money with. It just so happens that this time he chose you. You are not breaking up his marriage; you are not the cause of his relationship issues; and you are not to blame for any problems with his family or employment. It’s his world that you shouldn’t even want to know too much about. He is a big boy who knows that every action has consequences. You simply meet up with him for a session, like a shrink – which you are not, however. Pure business, nothing personal.
- If your family choose to be ashamed, it’s their problem, not yours. Of course, your mom will probably cry and your dad may disown you when they find out that you’re a professional escort. If this happens, they probably never loved you and only thought about their own image. If they ever loved you, they will keep loving you and nothing will change in your hearts. Remember: being your parents doesn’t make them your idols or sacred cows. If you are incompatible – well, too bad. You have your own life to live, your own decisions to make. Don’t let anyone interfere. Don’t treat them differently from other people just because they are your parents. You did not ask to be born to them and did not sign any contracts. In the simplest case, they are simply worried about the risks that they think you are exposing yourself to. This is easy to solve by talking and listening.
The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.
—Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
- Getting arrested is no more than a possibility. Any escort who doesn’t think about the possibility of an arrest is asking for trouble. However, you must get past this fear in order to effectively work as an escort. Escorts who live with this fear everyday are constantly looking over their shoulders and wondering who is watching them. It’s enough to drive you crazy! The first thing you can do to overcome this fear is to become educated about all laws regarding prostitution and escorting in your area. Remind yourself that you are charging clients for the time you spend with them, not for any activities that you may freely choose to engage in with them during an encounter, unrelated to your fees. By knowing the law, you are prepared to keep yourself safe by appropriately responding to questions from clients, not making any illicit promises and keeping intimate activities clearly separated from the discussions of the fees you charge clients. As long as you are charging clients for your time and not discussing sexual activities with them, your fears about being arrested should not be an issue.
- Think high of your body or don’t think at all. Most women have some self-loathing based on how they see their bodies. They may think their breasts aren’t the right shape or that their legs are too fat. Regardless of where your hang-up is, odds are pretty high that you are not pleased with some aspect of your body or face. In addition to your own scrutiny, you know that clients expect escorts to be the epitome of beauty. Sometimes it’s difficult to feel that you measure up to your clients’ expectations. However, truth be told, most clients are just pleased to be in the presence of an attractive woman… and once you get naked, any concerns he had about your big nose are gone. Practice walking around naked in order to gain confidence in and comfort with your body. The more you become accustomed to your body, the more comfortable and proud of it you will become. Just remember to appreciate and respect your body — it’s a sign to clients that they should, too.
- Minimize your exposure to societal stereotypes. The primary job of every taxpayer and citizen is to feel guilty, because guilt makes people work hard in hopes of redeeming themselves. If nobody feels guilty, if nobody feels like she has debts, the social pyramid will collapse, because the rulers will have nobody to rule. Therefore, the education system and the media department are hard at work spreading the seeds of guilt. This is what we are taught: If you make money, you should be ashamed, because some people don’t. If you are able-bodied, mentally stable, strong, independent, educated and happy, you should be ashamed, because some people aren’t. Don’t fall for this. You don’t owe anyone anything.If you live the way you want, not the way everyone else does, the social hierarchy hates you. Its upper level encourage the lower levels to think badly of escorts. They associate the concept of escorting with disgust. They label escorts as junkies, victims, liars, traitors, thieves, bad parents and nymphomaniacs. Escorts are often categorized as damaged goods and mentally unstable. Well, some people are some of these things, and escorts are people, so some escorts are some of these things, but most people including escorts are great. Yet the stigma is there. Stereotypes worm their ways into the minds of the people. And if you are exposed to TV, news and mainstream movies, your mind, too, is being bathed in this poison. If you consume it long enough, you will begin to doubt yourself. To prevent this, minimize your exposure to propaganda by opting out of TV and mainstream news sources.
- Your money is your responsibility. Unlike traditional jobs where you are paid a regular salary, escorting may create really good economic times, along with really bad ones. You may be paid very well one month, only to come up short the next. Business isn’t always consistent and you have to prepare for this. Escorts who can effectively manage their money are prepared for slow months, have a nest egg and are working to continually increase their earnings, while decreasing (or maintaining) their budgets. If you’re good with money, escorting is probably going to work well for you. Otherwise, you may benefit from taking a budgeting course or asking for some helpful tips from frugal friends. Indulgences, splurges and “fun money” are great, but successful escorts limit their spending in accordance to their lifestyles, regardless of the big tips or fat months. Remember: if you don’t hold it, you don’t own it.
- Your health is your responsibility. If you’re extremely scared of contracting a sexually-transmitted disease, you must get over it. Do your research regarding condom use and how to stay safe. Most escorts avoid becoming infected with any STDs by being smart and refusing to allow clients to cross boundaries. Uncovered oral sex or other intimate acts should be denied, and you should always perform a quick visual inspection of your client before you begin any close-quarters activities. Most infections can be easily avoided with the use of condoms, but an escort who is constantly afraid of getting something may never be able to relax with clients. Overcoming this fear is necessary to success. However, that is not to say that an escort should forget about safety altogether. Proper condom use should always be observed, and sexual safety should always be paramount.
- Sex and love don’t always go together. All of our lives, we are taught that sex and love go together. From sex education in junior high to religious teachings, sex is always accompanied by love and other secure emotions. But as an escort, you have to get this impression out of your head. Sex is physical enjoyment of your body. It can be a healthy addition to loving relationships, but it can also stand alone as a fun and enjoyable activity. In order to achieve success, an escort has to separate the sex and love equation. She must be able to perform intimate acts with a client as part of a business arrangement. Overcoming this concept is essential to becoming a good escort who is able to separate business with her personal life.
- Sessions are not dates. Many escorts luck out with their first few clients. They may get good-looking, charming clients who deceptively (and unintentionally) set the bar high for the rest of their escorting careers. However, it rarely continues with the trend of handsome clients who are skilled with women. As an escort, you must learn to accept clients for who they are and look past their flaws. So what if they are 50 pounds overweight and have a ton of back hair? If a client is willing to pay your fee, you must find something charming about him in order to accept him as a client. Expectations that your clients will be male models are unreal. Abandon these thoughts in order to accept the clients who actually come knocking on your door, with their “donations” in hand.
- Charge with confidence. It’s not unusual for novice escorts to be uncertain about the fees they charge clients. Inexperienced escorts should research the market they are working in for average prices charged by other escorts. After factoring in that they are new, a reasonable rate in the same ballpark is not extreme. However, many escorts feel uncomfortable charging hundreds of dollars for an hour with them. To become successful, you must pick a fee and become comfortable with it. Otherwise, your clients will barter with you until you are not making the income you deserve. Stick to your guns and be proud of the price you can command.