After a while in the business, escorts develop a sixth sense of a sort that helps them determine when a client is lying. While some client lies are serious ones that become deal breakers, others seem more innocent. Even so, escorts see clients who embellish or brainstorm completely fictional stories to tell them. Clients’ reasons for doing so range from embarrassment, self-esteem issues and hiding facts from their pasts. Many escorts flat out refuse to see clients when they discover they’ve been lying. However, it’s best to take situations on a case-by-case basis, because some clients have no ill intentions for their falsehoods.
While every client is different, many scenarios involving dishonesty can be explained by one of these following reasons:
- A client’s self-esteem is threatened. Many clients are seriously affected by the stigma society places on escorts and their clients. They buy into the theory that if they are consulting with an escort, something must be wrong with them — morally, psychologically, etc. They may be afraid of what others, including an escort, may think of them for “lowering themselves” to the level of booking an encounter. Clients often fear being pitied for their lack of luck with women or being categorized negatively for their off-beat passions or desires. As a way to refute all of these negative feelings, they make up stories about themselves or embellish their genuine details to make up for any inadequacies they feel others think they may have. Their lies are intended to secure their statuses, reputations or general good impressions. According to University of Massachusetts psychology professor Robert Feldman,
«It’s tied in with self-esteem. We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediate begin to lie at higher levels»
Keeping their self-esteem intact is the underlying purpose of lying. However, despite their innocent intentions, if an escort feels like she was completely deceived by a client’s efforts to secure his self-esteem, she may refuse to see him further. Through attempting to impress an escort, a client may actually do the reverse.
- Lying is part of the standard social discourse. Again, Feldman weighs in on lying by saying that in a study he had published in The Journal of Basic & Applied Psychology, 60% of people lie at least once during any standard 10-minute conversation. In fact, people average nearly 3 inaccuracies during such an exchange, often lying reflexively to smooth a conversation or simply be agreeable. A client may tell falsehoods without even realizing that he’s doing it during a conversation, especially if he wants to make a good impression or to enhance the communication between himself and his escort. It’s easy to fall into the trap of mistruths, as we are taught to tell white lies very young and are shown that it’s easiest to fit in when we demonstrate similarities with others, even if they are not entirely true.
- Some clients lie to maintain a favorable view of themselves. Not so worried about what others think, many men are deeply invested in their own self-images. They always strive for perfection or a level of excellence that may have seemed barely out of reach. In order to reflect the image they desire, they will lie about themselves, convincingly enough to persuade themselves, too. In some ways, they create their own personas in order to feel good about themselves. So, in truth, they may not only be lying to their escort, but to others who don’t know the full truth about themselves, too, such as a hair stylist, door man or housekeeper. These clients use their faux personality to make themselves feel more interesting and appealing to others, thus creating their ultimate goal of success. It’s certainly a roundabout method of achieving success, but many clients embrace it.
- Other clients desire to keep a level of privacy. Instead of simply choosing to not share details about their private lives, because they are interested in discretion, they tell untruths about their relationships, family and careers. From complete lies to omissions, clients may paint an entirely untrue picture of themselves in pursuit of privacy. Because they either don’t respect or understand how important it is for an escort to be able to research their backgrounds for security purposes, they fail to understand how their lies hinder an escort from doing her job well. An escort understands that a client may not want to provide details about his children or residence; she doesn’t need this information and respects his privacy. It’s one thing for a client to tell a lie about getting caught up in traffic, but it’s entirely different for him to create a false career and bogus last name.
- Some clients are embarrassed or ashamed of their actions. If they’ve recently lost their jobs, gotten divorced or experienced other challenges in their lives, some clients are so distraught over their situations that they create new circumstances for themselves. They don’t want to reveal that they are now unemployed or underemployed. Admitting that their lives are less than perfect can be a huge embarrassment and cause them to face realities they’d rather ignore. Also, their shame for their situations right now may prevent them from telling the truth about simple things to escorts. Pride can do many things to people, including enticing them to mislead others. They may not have malicious intentions, but their lies can still be deceiving.
- Many clients lie for personal gain. Often, it’s a common misconception that clients with VIP status, high-profile careers or large incomes get preferential treatment by escorts. Honestly, most escorts grant all clients equal attention, as long as they can pay their rates. But, some clients continue to believe that if they paint a much more successful picture of themselves and their careers, they will be privy to better service or exclusive activities. Impressing an escort becomes a matter of importance in order to gain special attention. They are looking to increase their personal gain through making up stories about themselves for escorts.
- Clients also lie in order to get their own way. Scheduling is often difficult for clients who want to see a particular escort, and it’s pretty standard for them to make up unrealistic stories about why they need special booking times. Funerals, out-of-town business trips and crazy work schedules top the usual stories; but, some escorts have heard outrageous excuses from clients wanting them to bend the rules “just this once.” Additionally, clients may use lies about suddenly having to leave town and wanting a date “as soon as possible…like now!” Often, they do this type of lying to avoid a background check. Others may lie about latex allergies to avoid using condoms, not having enough cash and attempt to negotiate on your fee, and not understanding your boundaries when trying to persuade you to offer a service you don’t normally provide. They will tell falsehoods to attempt to gain things they want.
- Many clients seek out extra attention or affection through their lies. They hope to make an escort feel sorry for them by making up outrageous drama. They usually have an ailing parent, child or spouse whom they care for regularly, in torturous conditions. Their company is being hostilely taken over by another. Some stories involve lying, cheating spouses who have stolen or abused them. Regardless of the lie, it is intended to evoke the sympathy of an escort. A client wants to gain additional affection, more personal attention (including off-the-clock communication) and some flexibility with the rules. He expects that an escort will feel so sorry for him that he can push boundaries when he chooses and be forgiven. Even if he isn’t a boundary-pusher, he is seeking emotional support that goes beyond the traditional escort/client relationship. And, once an escort realizes that she’s not only been lied to, but emotionally deceived into feeling compassion for someone’s fake drama, she is apt to block a client for good.
- A few clients tell lies because they simply want to deny the truth. Seeking the companionship of an escort may be unscrupulous to a man who has a family at home waiting for him. In order to shed his moral burden, he may lie about his marital/family status. Also, some clients elaborate greatly about their family relationships, hoping to make themselves appear like nicer guys to their escorts. They embellish their connections with their children, making themselves sound like fathers of the year. In fact, though, many of these clients are hardly ever present and so involved with work they do not have close relationships with their families. Often, it’s common for clients to embellish their relationships with their spouses, too, in order to create the illusion that they are romantic and devoted.
- Some clients lie because they are hiding important details from you. Fake names, careers or addresses often lead escorts to realizations that clients are disguising their real backgrounds. When a security check reveals that a client is providing completely false information, an escort should block him immediately. However, keep in mind that some clients are afraid that their reputation with the media or an isolated or misunderstood incident (bar fight or heated argument with the wife) might reflect badly on him. An unclear police report about an assault on a man who had insulted a client’s wife could be construed that he is a violent man. Some clients are simply covering up little details that might make them look bad. However, others are hiding criminal and violent histories that escorts should know about before booking encounters.
- Many clients find it’s part of the role-play experience to lie. This is taking things a bit too far, but clients may get an adrenaline rush from faking their identities or other aspects of their lives when they are hoping to book a role-playing experience with an escort. It’s exciting and fun to pretend to be someone they aren’t, and they don’t realize that the game starts during the encounter, not during the booking process.
- A few clients are just jerks. They get off on the experience of pulling the wool over an escort’s eyes and deceiving her. Knowing that escorts pride themselves in identifying liars and contradictions in stories, they feel it’s a personal accomplishment to fool an escort. In fact, some see it as a challenge.