Even though you may have had several issues that you had to address when you first opted to enter the escort industry, there are many more emotions you have to continue to face and overcome in order to be successful with your clients.
Having a thriving escorting career isn’t always easy, and you may experience a lot of feelings that could be detrimental to reaching your potential. Getting over these hold-ups is necessary if you’re going to pursue a serious career. Avoid falling into any of these emotional traps:
- Feeling too much pity for lonely or unlucky clients won’t help your business. Fairly often, clients will attempt to prey on your emotions in order to get discounts, freebies or additional time/services. The more pathetic they appear, the more they hope you will feel sorry for them. It’s admirable for you to have compassion and sympathy for your clients who feel isolated or empty, but when it influences your decisions about how to enforce your rates or policies, it’s a negative attribute. Some clients are genuinely lonely. Others really do have terrible luck with love and life. But, it’s not your fault. Your job is to simply provide these clients with the most fulfilling encounter you can give them during the time they schedule with you. You aren’t obligate or expected to give them anything more. If they make you feel like you should offer them something else, they are trying to take advantage of YOU.
- It’s really easy to have sincere dislike for your clients, but it won’t help make encounters any more pleasant. Often, clients are rude, inconsiderate or uncompassionate jerks. Others may be perfectly nice, other than being judgmental, self-centered or right-down pompous. It becomes pretty obvious why they are seeking your affection, because they may be unable to acquire it in their daily lives, as a result of their behavior and attitudes. And, even if you don’t actually like some of your clients, you need to find a way to engage with them during an encounter, if you accept their bookings. Acceptance of these behaviors as just part of who your client is may be the easiest option to moving on with a booking with one of these types. Or, you can mention the distasteful behavior or attitude, in hopes that your client will attempt to temper it in your presence. There’s nothing saying that you have to actually like each and every one of your clients. But, if you really dread spending time with one, you should probably just decline the appointment.
- Loving or lusting after one of your clients is a recipe for disaster. It’s great if you like a client. It’s even better if you find yourself sexually attracted to a client for his wit, charm or hot body. But, it’s NOT a good thing if you daydream about your client and have romantic delusions that you and he will run away together. You and your clients have a professional, business relationship. You provide companionship and other services as agreed, and he pays for your time. It’s expected to be able to exchange niceties and get to know one another, especially when intimacy is involved. But, any fantasies you have about forming a long-term personal relationship with your client should be nipped in the bud. If you find yourself falling in love with a client, you have to pull back your emotions. If you get an urge to give your client a 2 a.m. booty call, ignore it. More than that — shove it to the back of your mind. Falling in love with or lusting after your client is overstepping the boundary of your relationship with him. It will damage the friendship you have with him and severely limit the abilities you have to be a successful escort, especially where he is concerned.
- Feeling jealous of your clients’ wives or significant others will diminish your ability to perform well during encounters. If you’re busy imagining what it would be like to live in your client’s home or to go on luxury vacations with him, you probably aren’t fully engaged with making sure your client has a fulfilling encounter with you. It’s easy and understandable to envy the lifestyle of the partners of your clients. It may appear they have it all: amazing home, open bank account and a life of riches. And, if you think your client is a diamond in the rough, it may even seem like you’d prefer to have him for your own. However, becoming jealous of a significant other is not helping you accomplish your goals. And, keep in mind, that regardless of how wonderful he seems when he’s with you, they live with him daily and see each and every one of his faults. And, also, be reminded that you really shouldn’t be too jealous of a spouse: he’s cheating on that spouse with you. Being her won’t seem so wonderful when/if she finds out that he’s been seeing you. Jealousy will eat you alive. You can admire a spouse, but don’t become obsessed with envy.
- Hating society for judging you will only make you bitter. Society is extremely hard on escorts and those who work in the adult entertainment industry. Automatic stereotyping is done when a person is identified as an escort. Assumptions are made about an escort’s background, her personal habits and her psychological state. It’s incredible what people think they know about your lifestyle. However, being angry and hating the general public for their ignorance or closed-mindedness will only cause you to have a negative attitude about life, in general. You should feel slighted by society, but letting it depress or anger you will affect your overall outlook on life. That’s not to say that you should just roll over and accept what society thinks or says about you or your chosen career. You still have to work against the grain to hold your head high and proudly carry yourself as a functioning, respectable member of society.
- Being ashamed of being an escort will hinder building a successful career. When you’re not proud of what you do, it’s going to make it impossible for you to do it well. While there are certainly downfalls to being an escort, it is not a dishonest, unethical career choice that should cause you to question your character. You are performing a service that many clients are unable to find in their lives anywhere else… and helping them lead a more fulfilled life, as a result. Even though society may rough you up a bit about your morality, “they” can never judge for you what is right or wrong. While you may not want the entire world to know what you do for a living, you still shouldn’t feel shame for it, either. You are not stealing from anyone. You are not conning anyone into anything. And, you’re not hurting anyone. In fact, you’re making a lot of people VERY happy and getting paid to do it.
- Being fearful constantly will impede your ability to become a thriving escort. Of course, it’s natural to be scared of any client who threatens to harm you. While most high-end escorts do not encounter violent or dangerous clients, it is always a possibility. There will always be potential for a client to go off his rocker during a booking. You must always be careful. But, living your life in fear of your clients will not enable you to be the confident, outgoing escort your clients expect you to be. Additionally, being afraid of your secret getting out to family and friends is another fear that plagues many escorts. You should know that they will inevitably find out… if not now, probably later. But, fearing it before it happens is not a way to live your life. Always falling prey to the what-ifs and the maybes will hinder you from taking positive risks and doing things that will perpetuate your career.
- Shyness will cause you to struggle harder for a prosperous escorting career. If you have trouble talking to people, because you’re bashful, you’re going to have a difficult time keeping the “warm-up” period of an encounter running smoothly. Often, shy clients contact escorts to offset their own quietness or hesitation to speak. If you both are so shy you can’t talk to one another, it’s going to be a LONG encounter. Additionally, clients want you to be outgoing and be willing to make the first move. If you’re unable to follow through with this, clients may not get what they want from an encounter with you. And, finally, escorts are often known for being uninhibited. Your wild, free spirit, especially in the bedroom, is what attracts clients. If you are afraid to let go and show who you are, you can’t provide that carefree booking many look for.
- Insecurity about what you have to offer will diminish your success. Escorts have to have an innate degree of self worth. And, you have to be able to recognize your strong abilities and features that make you appealing. Identifying things about yourself that others would find attractive is a necessity when it comes to marketing yourself to clients. Being humble about your positive traits will not draw clients to you. Even if it feels like bragging, you have to share about how wonderful you are in order to get attention. Secondly, when you go to a booking, you should exhibit confidence for two main reasons: 1.) Clients think confidence is sexy. There is nothing more exciting than a woman who is sure of herself. 2.) Confidence may ward off unsavory behavior from a client. A client is a lot less likely to attempt to hurt or take advantage of you if he thinks you are going to stand up for yourself. It’s a good way to avoid trouble before it starts.
- Modesty is generally a flaw in the escort industry. Being embarrassed about showing off your body is not something that attracts clients. When they choose you to spend time with, they are definitely hoping that they will get a chance to see you naked or in your sexy lingerie. And, many of them will expect for you to show off your body to them, either by simply strutting around or doing an elaborate strip tease. Practice ahead of time by walking around your home either in the nude or in revealing lingerie. Look at yourself in the mirror. Get comfortable with your body, however perfect or imperfect it is. And, while modesty is usually appreciated in society, it won’t make you successful with clients. However, you can exhibit a degree of modesty and class by avoiding being completely trashy. Opt for sophisticated and elegant lingerie. Choose classically-styled attire that doesn’t expose your cleavage or booty for going to encounters. Dress in such a way that demonstrates you are proud of your body, but you don’t need to show it off to be sexy.
- Exhibiting judgment about your clients won’t win you any good escort reviews. Everyone has a story. And, everybody is different. Until you’ve walked in your client’s shoes, you have no right to judge him and what he does. You don’t want your clients making assumptions about you and your actions, so don’t do it about them. Even if you think a client is a terrible human being for saying or doing something in particular, keep an open mind. And, as an escort, it’s never a good idea to stereotype your clients. When you receive a call from a young millionaire, you shouldn’t automatically assume he’s a trust fund kid. Just like you shouldn’t assume that a blue-collar client is going to use rough language and have no education about fine wines. You never know about people, so being presumptive about your clients will severely limit your abilities to see their most redeeming qualities. And, that, in turn, will reduce your worth in their eyes.
- Frustration about your life will only make things worse. It’s easy to understand that your life may be frustrating. You’re trying to get ahead with an unorthodox career you’re keeping secret from your friends and family. You may be consorting with people you don’t actually like. And, you feel like a sex object, instead of a person, at times. It is totally understandable that you’re frustrated with your life. But, instead of being frustrated, do something about it. Change it in a way that is more positive for you. Discriminate about the clients you see. Share your secret with a trusted friend. Set a better schedule for yourself. Take an active role in your life and steer it in the direction you want it to go.
- Greed will get the better of you. When you start to see the money roll in from successful encounters, it’s easy for an escort to get a bit greedy about making more dough. You may want to work more hours, charge a higher rate or experiment with risky encounters, just to bring in a higher income. And, while some of this may earn you a little more money for awhile, it may not work long-term. Risky encounters, for example, may create experiences where your personal safety or health is at stake. Increasing your rates may be okay with new clients, but you may lose old ones in the process. And, working more hours may cause you to experience burn out long before you would have otherwise. There’s a huge difference between smart ways of growing your business and allowing greed to guide you. Be able to keep those two aspects separate.