England’s The Telegraph newspaper has been covering a report on escorting in the UK. There are many interesting elements in the report, but by far the most curious is the fact that escort services are increasingly being used by younger professional men.
The report is not clear as to whether these younger men are married or not. However, it does indicate that younger men give themselves the treat of an escort several times a year.
by Hannah Jay
It’s an observation that rings true for Charlotte Rose, escort and sexual trainer. Two of her most regular clients are best friends, both aged 19, who visit Rose one day after the other. Neither count as anomalies among her clientele.
The demographic is changing towards younger professionals because younger men’s preferences are changing,” Rose tells me. “A ‘professional service’ with an escort [creates] a mutual understanding of what the client wants and gets. All do’s and don’ts are pre-discussed and fantasies are more easily explored.”
Different escorts have very different views of their younger clients. But there is certainly some agreement as to the factors motivating the younger generation.
One defining influence is the intersection of limited time and unlimited internet. “Most of my younger clients find me online.” said Candace, a twenty four year old escort in Dallas. “And if I look at my traffic statistics, more and more of them are finding me using their smart phones.”
“I cater to a pretty up market clientele and they like to be able to visit on the spur of the moment. I’ve made sure that my website is mobile compatible and easy to view. Now, my ideal client is in his late 30’s early 40’s because they have a lot of disposable income and they know what they want. But it has been trending downward the last few years so that now about half my clients are late twenties, early 30s.”
We asked Candace why she thought younger men were coming to see her. “I think there are a bunch of different reasons. The old story that “you don’t pay an escort to come and see you, you pay her to leave” is a big part of it. A lot of my clients have really intense jobs. They’ll work 18 hours a day, six days a week, and then work 12 hours on Sunday and think they’ve had a day off. Some of them have flat out told me that they just don’t have time for a real girlfriend. And they really don’t have time for the whole dating thing.’
“I advertise on a website like Skipthegames.com because skipping the games is what I am all about. As one of my clients told me, the fact is that when you are a young guy doing a lot of business, the whole dating thing is a time investment you don’t want to make. Leave aside the emotional commitment, simply taking a girl out for drinks and dinner is expensive and creates expectations . Whereas if he comes to see me, I’m expensive but they don’t have to call me the next day or guess about how the evening is going to end. And, of course, if he would like some company over dinner, that can be arranged too.”
“Most of all: for all my dates, but particularly the younger guys I am all about “no drama”. I don’t want to marry them, get promoted, get hired: I’m there for their good time. When that’s over I’m gone.”
“I like it when any of my clients call again. And I do have regulars; but a lot of the younger guys are still out exploring. Sometimes, when I have been with a guy I’ll realize that what he is really looking for is a redhead or a fetish girl. I have a little book with a lot of girls in it and I refer my clients out. They appreciate it and. of course, the other girls will try to reciprocate. Call it a “good dates list”.
Convenience and predictability are certainly two reasons why younger men visit escorts but, as Kali, an escort working in Seattle told us, there are also a few slightly more complicated reasons for this trend.
“It is funny when you think about it. We live in the era of ‘hook up’ culture. People have Tindr on their phones and there are dozens of great clubs and bars in Seattle where lots of young guys and pretty girls go to have fun. But here I am, working six days a week, with at least half my clients single and under 35.”
“Part of the reason is that there are a lot of guys who make great money, have nice condos and cool cars but they are, frankly, nerdy. They don’t do all that well with social situations. Some of my younger clients are just really shy. Others are simply akward.”
“A lot of my younger clients work in tech – they build games or code little pieces of big projects. I actually am a bit of a design geek myself, and I take great care to craft my ads and my website to attract guys in this industry. Why? Because they are super smart (in a way that I find interesting) and are usually absolutely no trouble.”
“It is a bit of a cliché to suggest that these guys are hopeless with girls. But a lot of the time they just don’t quite know where to start. Or the sorts of girls they meet playing World of Warcraft or going to hacker’s conferences, are not the sort of girls they want to fool around with. Plus, a lot of the time, I see guys who would never have the confidence to talk to me if they met me in a club or a bar. And, truth be told, they are not at all the sorts of guys who go clubbing.”
“I try to make my ads sound smart, friendly and non-intimidating. I have a little fun with them: “Hot girl, wears glasses, likes to talk about WOW, play boardgames and be your perfect girlfriend experience.” You don’t have to put much in the ad for it to stand out as a “nerds welcome here,” signpost. They get it.”
“Of course I still see a lot of older men, but if I have the choice, I really like seeing my younger, nerdier, guys. They are so intelligent and many of them are really, really, grateful.”
We asked Kali if her dates for young nerds were different from her regular dates. “Sometimes. The big thing about these guys is that they are usually a bit shy and intimidated the first time they come to see me. They really don’t know what to expect.
“Also, the second thing, which is huge, is that they have all grown up watching porn on the internet. In fact, for a lot of my clients, that internet porn is what they think intimate adult encounters all go like that. And that intimidates them a lot. They sometimes think that because I am a professional, I will demand double reverse cowboy positioning five minutes after they walk in the door. I try to get rid of that idea in the initial phone call when the session is booked. But I still have to sometimes really calm my younger clients down.”
“Once they realize that I am pretty easy-going they relax and we usually have quite a lot of fun. As I said, many of my clients are really smart and successful and some of them are very funny. If they were just a bit more confident, they would do great out in the dating world.”
“The other group of younger guys I see are basically managers at tech shops around town. Some of them are married, most aren’t. They come to see me because they are more than a little paranoid.”
“Everybody is so connected now. And there are a lot of rules – written and unwritten – about social interaction. These guys are heavily invested in their careers and this makes dating complicated. They can’t date anyone at the company they work for, because sexual harassment is hiding under every rock. They can’t date anyone at any company their company competes with, because there is the whole corporate secrets thing. And, they all work stupid hours and so they have a hard time maintaining any sort of relationship.”
“So I am an easy solution. I don’t work for any company, and I can accommodate weird hours.”
“Even though these guys are young, they are incredibly stressed. You can hear it in their voice when they call to book. So, they are a lot more receptive to a massage or to an atmosphere of candles and soft music to begin the process of relaxation for their date. I think a lot of them see visiting me as pretty much the male equivalent to a girls’ day at the spa; which is fine with me. It’s probably the only time–day or night–that they turn their phone off for an hour.”
“The managers become regulars really easily. If they are single, they usually have more money than they can think of things to buy – I help with that. But what they don’t have, is anyone who they can just relax with. Even their dates are run like job interviews. And likewise, he is being interviewed for relationship/marriage potential.”
“When they come to visit me, I let them talk about work if they want to, but I encourage them to tell me about their vacations, their cars, the boat they want to buy, instead. You can see them mentally shifting gears downward.”
“With younger guys, you don’t run into the performance anxiety you do with guys in their later forties or early 50’s; quite the opposite, in fact. Although I admire men who try to do their best! I will usually point out that the “activities between consenting adults” is not a competition.”
“I have two dates I do a lot. The first is what amounts to a way of filling in time before flying back to wherever the gentleman has flown in from. My condo is a lot more pleasant than the waiting rooms at SeaTac. Most of the tech road warriors fly out on Friday afternoon or evening and I can often have three dates starting at noon and running through to six.”
“The other date is the deal-making celebration, or corporate function “arm candy” with a happy ending situation. It’s a great chance to get dressed up, eat well, listen to the inside details of how a deal got done or a patent was won, and then up to the suite for some intimate celebration. I do enough of these sorts of dates that I think some of the caterers and bar staff have begun to notice.”
“Dates like this are pretty free-form and you can end up partying pretty hard with guys in their 30’s. Which can be exhausting and a little awkward; because while my date knows I am a paid companion, his buddies don’t, and they often want to keep the party going very late indeed. But I can usually manage to remind my client that there is more fun to be had on a more private basis. (And yes, I have, on occasion, provided fun for a couple of men when my secret is out. It takes a lot of finesse to handle well, but it is very, very lucrative.)”
So, in general, younger men are turning to escorts because of the nature of life and relationships in the modern age. In so far as technology has simplified life in so many great ways, it has also speeded up the pace of everything and made other aspects of personal life much more complicated. Escorting is an old-fashioned business. Younger men, have found the perfect antidote to tech frenzy.