How to handle clients who accuse escorts of passing along an STD

When you’re an escort, you put your own sexual health at risk each time you meet up with a client. Although you implement strict policies about condom use and other safe practices, it is possible that, despite your best efforts, you could contract an STD. Additionally, you have to be aware that due to society’s outlook on the escort industry, your clients may be extremely fearful of getting an STD or infection from you. Being prepared for the STD discussion is a necessity, just as being ready for a client to point an accusing finger at you for giving him an STD is a reality. Whether you did transmit a sexual infection or not, you must think ahead about how you will handle a situation where a client thinks you did.

Consider these steps as you react to his allegation:

  1. Stay calm and confident. Make a point of talking firmly, yet without raising your voice to minimize the chances of escalation. And look at him while talking, otherwise the veracity of your words will be questioned. Calmly and quietly tell him that for you it’s at least as bad a surprise that is damaging to your bottom line. If stay calm, collected and sober, there is a chance that the conflict will be resolved peacefully; if you raise your voice or lose control, even this chance will be lost.
  2. Remind your client of the policies you have in place specifically for the purpose of protection against STDs and STIs. As an escort, you staunchly require the use of condoms during each and every intimate engagement you have. Additionally, you ensure further safety by providing the condoms, knowing that they have not been tampered with, are not past their expiration dates, have avoided damaging conditions and are quality products. Besides condom use, you may also conduct quick visual inspections of clients for obvious symptoms of STDs, and you use other barrier methods to avoid infection (such as dental dams). When you are so careful to avoid contact that could transmit a disease, it’s highly unlikely that you are the culprit of a client’s STD problem. Explain to your client that you implement these policies with every client, not just him, as a way to protect yourself and everyone you come into contact with.
  3. Share a current report of clean health. Escorts should undergo regular STD testing throughout the year. Many escorts do it quarterly, but the interval is certainly up to you. By getting checked out consistently, escorts know that they are maintaining their sexual health and putting nobody else at risk. It’s a confidence booster and assurance that you’re providing quality services, without question. Even though you can become infected with an STD at any point in time, the fact that you get regular testing with consistent negative results demonstrates that you have a positive track record for maintaining a clean record. When a client suggests that you have passed an STD to him, remind him that you have proof of being disease-free for a considerable amount of time. It might be worth it to ask him if he has the same proof to exonerate his sexual practices from being too risky. (On a side note: when you show a client your clean bill of health, hide any identifying information on the report so he can’t extract personal details about you.)
  4. Suggest other places that your client might have contracted the STD. Unless your client is hopelessly single and doesn’t visit with other escorts, there is a good chance that he has engaged in intimate activities with other people. While you don’t want to attack his virtue or personal habits, you shouldn’t take sole blame for his situation. Ask him to retrace his steps over the past weeks and recall any one-night stands, escort encounters or sexual acts he participated in with others (spouse, partner, friends with benefits, etc.) where he might have picked something up. Also, encourage him to think about whether he wore a condom during any of these episodes of intimacy with others. If he failed to practice safe sex in other instances, insinuate that his problem could have started during one of these adventures. If he’s reasonable, he will consider this as a possibility.
  5. Offer to get tested to prove you’re not the root of his problem. If your client got an infection from you, it should show up on any test that you take within the next few days. Being willing to get tested should mean a lot to your client, in that you’re willing to accept responsibility for the problem if you were the cause. However, it is also reassurance to you that you didn’t infect him. Getting tested within a few days of an encounter would show any infection you had prior to the booking. However, if you are concerned that he infected you, you will want to follow up with a test a week or two later, as infections sometimes take a week or more to show up on a test. Once you get the results back, show him that you came back with negative results and that he should focus his allegations elsewhere.
  6. Know if his symptoms are true for the STD he claims to have gotten from you. Educating yourself about various diseases and infections is helpful in lots of ways. Firstly, you can identify suspicious physical symptoms more readily when they are exhibited by a client. Secondly, you can recognize them in yourself so that you can expedite treatment and get well quicker, if you contract an STD. Finally, when a client accuses you of giving him something and explains his symptoms, you can more assuredly determine if he’s really got something or is just experiencing some other problem. For instance, men can sometimes get heat rashes that mimic the symptoms of some STDs. A paranoid client might think he has an infection, jumping to the conclusion that you gave him an STD. Know the symptoms, incubation periods and basic treatments, so that you can compare notes with client reports.
  7. Suggest that your client see a doctor for an actual diagnosis. Some clients will call you with their concerns before actually visiting their physician, because they are so paranoid about the potential predicament. When your client does go to the clinic to get checked out, encourage him to ask about the incubation period of the infection, if he has one. If it’s within the timeframe of when your booking with him was, it could be possible that you passed along an infection you didn’t even know you had. However, if the timeline doesn’t jive with when you saw your client, don’t automatically take responsibility. Most doctors will ask enough questions that a client will realize that he didn’t get the STD from you. Often, a client will go to the doctor, only to realize that he’s got some other problem and not an STD.
  8. Advise your client in treatment methods. Although you are not a doctor and should never act like you dispense the medical expertise of one (unless you actually are a doctor or nurse), attempt to give your client reliable and accurate information about his STD and how to treat it. Some infections like Chlamydia and gonorrhea are easily treatable and don’t leave lasting side effects. If you suspect your client has an infection that is curable with a simple antibiotic, attempt to ease his mind and encourage him to seek professional assistance to obtain the right medications. Other STDs are much more serious and your advice should be to seek medical advice immediately, although the damage is already done. Regardless of whether you gave your client the infection, you can attempt to help him through a scary situation.
  9. Give your client a refund if it’s your fault he contracted an STD or if you feel that it will save you from wasting more time and money. Escorts should provide services that do not include a souvenir in the form of a sexually-transmitted infection. If you realize after the fact that you do, indeed, have the same infection that your client just came down with, suggest that you provide him with a refund as a way to apologize for the trouble. If he spreads the word about getting an STD from you, your successful career as an escort may be negatively affected. New clients may read reviews of his and choose to avoid your services. Old clients may hear through the grapevine that you have an STD and elect to find a new escort. Even though giving him a refund won’t fix his health situation, it will make him feel like you really are regretful. At the same time, insist that you had no idea you had an infection at the time of the booking.
  10. Suggest that your client encourage others he’s been intimate with to get tested. If he continues to have intercourse or intimacy with these people, the course of the infection will just spread back and forth without ever stopping. He will get reinfected over and over again, which will defeat any treatment options he seeks. Encourage him to inform others about his STD infection so that they can seek treatment, too, instead of being surprised by the disease at a later date. Broaching the subject with a spouse or long-term partner may be uncomfortable, but it’s a necessary solution for the problem.
  11. Realize it could be a con that the client uses to get to talk to you more. If you’re certain that you don’t have an STD, stick to your guns on this issue. Some clients use this as an excuse to get to continue communications with an escort. They think that an escort will feel obligated to discuss the problem, engage in further communications outside of the booking process and express sympathy for them. Additionally, clients may seek out any kind of attention (negative or positive) from an escort and will pull this card if you’re not responding to their other advances. Be suspicious of clients who try to contact you several times and then resort to this ploy as a way to get you to talk to them. Ask your client several questions to determine if he’s telling the truth. If anything seems “off,” cut off communication with him.
  12. Block a client who harasses you about giving him an STD. Most escorts know that they have a clean bill of health and resent any client who suggests otherwise. If you’ve entertained conversations with him about the issue and are coming to no compromises or reasonable conclusions, block him. Don’t just block him from these kinds of conversations, either. Block him from your contact list altogether. It shouldn’t bother him, because no client in his right mind would want to go back to an escort who gave him an STD. It would be unwise and demonstrate that he doesn’t care about his sexual health. This is especially true if a client seems outraged at the fact he thinks you gave him an STD and then calls in a week or two trying to make a booking. It’s just proof that the client was lying, in the first place, and is going to be a problem in the future. Use this situation as a learning tool to avoid further problems with this client. Also, blocking this client prevents any possibility of contracting the STD from HIM. If he had an STD when he came for a past booking, it demonstrates that he has no concern for your personal health.
  13. Use this as a sign to inspect your clients more closely in the future. As you and your clients get to know each other prior to intercourse, you usually have an opportunity to casually look their genitals over without being obvious about it. Be more detailed as you examine his junk and the surrounding area, noticing any spots, irregular coloring or other symptoms that might foretell of a health issue you should be concerned with. If you even slightly suspect that your client has an STD, stop the booking immediately and request that he get dressed and leave. If a client is unknowingly infected with an STD, he will be extremely apologetic and in shock. However, those who are already informed about their status may resist your request to leave, stating that they are not contagious or will wear a condom. Take extreme caution in any of these cases.

When you work in the adult entertainment industry and have intimate contact with others, with or without condoms, the reality is that you are susceptible to sexually-transmitted diseases and infections. However, when you take extreme precautions to protect your sexual health, it’s unlikely that you will experience problems. It’s even more unlikely that you would transmit an infection to a client, if you’re strict about your safe sex policies in both your professional and personal life. But, accidents do happen. It’s best to react with kindness and consideration before placing blame back on your client, until you are sure that he is really at fault.