Ms Jay answers escorts’ questions #3

One of my regular clients likes to tell me his fantasies. Most of them involve his being tied up or punished in some way. It is pretty obvious that he would like me to do some of the things he is fantasizing about but I really have no idea where to begin. Can you show me the ropes?

Well, no; but he can. I would say, however, that before undertaking any “acting out”, you are very clear with the client about what you are comfortable with and where you draw the line. Begin with something simple like tying his hands behind his back (zip ties are easy and secure), have him lean over the bed, and give him some lashes with your bamboo cane or hairbrush. (Be kind and give him an introductory half a dozen or so strokes with your hand, then switch to your implement of choice and work up the intensity, pausing between strokes to let him recover and to judge his reaction and level of tolerance to various levels. If this is pleasing to him, you can expand the role by adding dialogue, serious lingerie as attire, or perhaps having him “confess” and be spanked/whipped as punishment. After the enterprise, he is to thank you. You can then give him the attentions he has earned. Done well, this client is going to keep coming back for more because he has trusted you with fantasies he likely is afraid to share with a wife or girlfriend.

I’ve been asked to be a “movie star” by a generous and rather nice client—nothing too doubtful, he’d like to use his iPhone camera to record me undressing and, maybe, going down on him. I am uncomfortable with this but he is offering quite a lot of money.

Okay, so what part of this are you uncomfortable with? Being on tape in a compromising position? It’s worked wonders for Ms. Kardashian, but if you are afraid that it might come back to haunt you, make sure that either your face is not filmed full on, and that the lighting is low. With a wig, stage makeup, and a sexy gown, the “starlet” is not recognizably you. The offer of a lot of money is not one to turn down lightly. You might even have fun doing it, and add another, very lucrative element to your escorting business.

I have been doing a little escorting and enjoy it. I’m thinking about going full time and I wondered how I should set my rates. Up until now I have just asked clients to give me what they thought was fair.

Well, how magnanimous of you! Sort of “by donation” as it were. I think it’s time to read my article, Evolving your escort business if you really want to work as a full-time escort. Let me know how it goes, or write with any other questions you need help with.

I am an escort working in a big city. I read in one of your articles that you hate pantyhose and think stockings are way better. I looked up the Kate Moss ad you mentioned and WOW! they are soooo sexy. I think my clients would love them! I was wondering if you can give me some info and tips on what I need to know about buying and wearing stockings.

Oh, I am so glad to have made a convert! I assure you that once you start wearing stockings, you will want to wear them even when you aren’t working. They are as delightful to the wearer as to the lucky man who gets a glimpse.

Pantyhose, on the other hand, are horribly unflattering and are neither comfortable nor fun to wear. Some women simply give up and opt to go bare-legged instead. But unless you are going to the beach, you need a more polished look with your dresses and skirts. And lets face it, few of us have perfect legs. Stockings provide a smooth, transparent effect while adding a soft shimmer to subtly enhance what you already have. And isn’t “illusion” what great lingerie is really all about anyway?

Some excellent fashion brands, like Donna Karan, offer stockings so check out the hosiery department carefully. In general, stockings can often be rather hard to find, with rather few to choose from when you do. There remains a tiny contingent of manufacturers which still use the few remaining original hosiery machines left in the world.

Thigh-high stay-ups are an excellent option and, if you have never worn stockings before, these are a good introduction. They are worn without a garter and stay put by some sort of gripping system at the top. Check out the many clever modern options here.

Stockings from the 1940s and 50s are what you are really after. Vintage stockings are currently very collectable (especially if in box) and those from the venerable couture houses of old, such as Christian Dior and Schiaparelli, generate fierce bidding and command ever-escalating prices. It is a hosiery style that is unparalleled in quality and beauty. To gain an education in this world, type in “vintage stockings” at and prepare to be fascinated. From expensive, original lingerie posters that you will covet for your boudoir ($1,000 – $2,500), to the cool (Twiggy stockings in a 60s psychedelic package, $160), to the rare (textured hose with the faces and signatures of The Beatles along the welt), to everything in between and beyond. Once you purchase a pair ($20 including shipping for basic seamless nylons), you will want to collect (many, many) more. Unlike the generic $5 pantyhose you pick up at the supermarket, vintage hosiery preserved from a bygone era has a story, a past. It speaks of something quite elegant, sensual, and erotic.

Stunning retro stockings come in luxurious options such as silk, seamed, sheer, and shades. DENIER (how many threads of nylon) differentiates the level of opaqueness in the stocking trade: the higher the denier, the softer and silkier the feel. They range from ultra-sheer –7, 10, and 15 denier, up to a 40 denier which is opaque. Stockings knitted with a higher denier are less sheer but more durable. Since stockings were designed to be worn with a garter belt, a reinforced panel at the top of the stocking was knitted separately in a heavier denier yarn and machine-sewn and double folded to give strength for fastening the supports. This is called the WELT. Some have heel and toe reinforcements to prevent runs, others are sandalfoot (all sheer) for wear with open-toed pumps. CUBAN HEEL stockings are the holy grail of stocking aficionados. Also known as FULLY-FASHIONED hose, this refers to a steamed stocking with a line in the back to the thigh up to the KEY HOLE and above to the top of the stocking. A darker colour covers the toes and the bottom of the foot is squared off in the back of the heel. Fully-fashioned stockings were the most popular style until the 1960s. They are, bar none, the sexiest hosiery. Ever.

One of the objections modern women have to stockings is that they require time and effort, and are fussier than simply pulling on sausage casings (Oh, did I say that? I meant pantyhose, of course!) Yes, this is true, stockings do have delightful and intimate intricacies and accoutrements. The wearer must handle the nylon or silk with care. Putting on one’s stockings is art, and a sensual experience because of its very unrushed nature. Choosing a beautiful garter belt, waist-cincher, garter skirt, girdle, or corset to anchor one’s stockings, adds another dimension to a woman’s lingerie drawer. How, I ask, can anyone be too busy to indulge themselves in such a wonderful way? Perhaps women have become altogether too busy and too darn practical. Not the escort, though. Focusing on the erotic is her forte, and a large measure of her appeal.

I was sitting in my favourite upscale bar (name of hotel withheld) reading a fashion magazine and waiting to meet a client. A good-looking guy who I had seen a few times, and who is a regular there, (and who had figured out that I’m an escort), came over and asked if he could join me. We chatted for a while and then he said he always wanted to approach me for an escort date, but never had the nerve. Well, I couldn’t accept because I already was booked for the evening, but I told him I’d love to another time. I hope I didn’t lose his business. What is the best way to handle these booking situations?

Oh, you charming and alluring creature! You are the best advertising for your business and you know it. How clever of you to conduct your business ever so discretely yet in public. A regular haunt for a pretty girl on a bar stool is a way to say what you are about to those that are paying attention. And obviously, this man was. You cannot always be available, but that doesn’t mean you have to lose business. The best solution is to have an elegant business card that you can give the gentleman in order to arrange a mutually convenient appointment time. These days, the cost of production is reasonable, and you don’t need to have hundreds made either. If you are creative, you could even design and print them yourself using your own computer. Or, if you don’t have a printer, you can simply send the file to a nearby outlet. Stick to a basic format, and remember that black and white is cheaper and always looks elegant. You need to have your name and number and an email address if that is also a way you book clients. Having an attractive card makes you seem not only professional, but also successful and in high demand. Which you certainly will be if you keep handing out your card!

I work as a high end escort in a large American city. Recently, a long-term regular client of mine – a great guy in his early 40’s – asked me if I would be willing to entertain both he and a friend of his at the same time. He is very generous and has said he would make this threesome very worth my while. I don’t know if I should accept his offer because I don’t have any experience with this at all. I must say that the thought of it makes me a bit nervous, but I’m kind of excited with the idea, too.

Think of this new experience as adding to your repertoire as an escort. This is always valuable and usually very lucrative—adding 50% to your normal rate times two is not out of the question. So, if you are comfortable with this proposition(nervous is normal), chat to the client beforehand about what he has in mind and his expectations. You can tailor the session to make it a fun and sensual encounter for everyone.

Your gentlemen, if they truly are, might arrive with a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of bubbly, and a silk garter belt and stockings just to make you feel like the special centre of attention. If you can’t be sure they can come up with such a delightful plan themselves, suggest it. As you are now a rarified woman who wears stockings (see above), this is a thrilling treat for the men in your company.

Taking the time to sit down together with a glass of champagne or prosecco is a wonderful way to meet, break the ice, and make everyone more comfortable. One question which will arise is whether they would like to enjoy your favours one at a time privately or together. While ultimately this is the escort’s own choice, it is a good idea to ensure that all the consenting adults are on the same page. It is also a good idea, before the bedroom hoves into view, to lay out any ground rules or no go areas.

Just as you would with a single gentleman, make sure that you take the erotic lead. Simply by shifting the conversation in an erotic direction you signal the festivities are beginning. Undressing, just a little, down to your slip for example, will ensure they follow where you lead.

Once you move on to the bedroom, the focus can either be on one gentleman and then the next or shift from one participant to another while all are engaged. Things tend to progress fluidly, so you don’t have to have the whole time scripted. Toys are an option that can be entertaining, too. My best advice is just to relax and have fun. If you are, you can be assured that your two callers are, too.

One critical thing about a threesome is that it is very, very, unwise to have one if you don’t know and trust one of the gentlemen from earlier, singular, encounters. Just don’t do it. It is dangerous and, unfortunately, undercover police prefer to travel in pairs.