Even if you think that what you do is your own business and nobody should care how you spend your time, this is never true when you have continual interactions with others.
Escorts, even those who attempt to generally keep to themselves, establish relationships with people across the board from professional ties to interpersonal connections. Family members, friends, employers and passers-by end up in your circle, regardless of the extent you try to maintain your independence.
And when you work in career that forms so many types of relationships, it’s easy to see how these various relationships are affected by your profession. But, these effects are often overlooked or not considered, because they may be indirect or hidden from your view. Nonetheless, many people in your day-to-day lives (and others in their lives) are influenced from your actions. Consider the ripple effects, both good and bad:
- Friends and family members will experience the most impactful effects. If they find out about your escort career, they may feel lied to and betrayed. Often, they are hurt that you didn’t trust them enough to confide in them your secret or issues. Many feel judged, because they automatically think you believed they were too closed-minded to accept your lifestyle and decisions. (And, in fact, they are right… they are too close-minded, but that is entirely beside the fact.) Some of them feel it’s a reflection on them, that they didn’t raise you right or provide you with proper guidance and/or support. It’s fairly common for your loved ones to feel sad and disappointed for you, imagining the horrors and terrible experiences you must endure with your profession. While sometimes they are worried about your welfare (both mental and physical), others are simply ashamed and are afraid to be seen in public afterward, wondering who knows about your dirty secret. Lastly, many escorts find their loved ones are appalled at their decisions and experience rejection and harsh judgment. While all of these initial reactions are effects from an escort being outted to family and friends, extended impacts may involve society’s actions toward them, making them subjects of gossip, ridicule, pity and criticism, which can be quite hurtful and draining on the self-esteem. And, clients’ family members and friends experience similar negative effects when it’s discovered they’ve been seeing an escort. Often, these effects destroy friendships and put unrecoverable strain on family relationships.
- An escort’s children are often the unintended recipients of negative effects, too. When children are involved, various effects impact them in ways specific to their situations and ages. Children who are old enough to comprehend what it means to be an escort may feel shame or disgust about their mother’s dalliances with clients. Children, in general, may be discriminated against by other parents and teachers at school. They may not be invited to activities or birthday parties, that they would’ve been prior to their mother’s secret being revealed. Teachers and school faculty may (unintentionally) judge them and fail to give them opportunities that are usually afforded to the better, more deserving students. Many children place their parents on pedestals. Even when they discover that their mothers are escorts, they may want to be like them. As a role model, an escort has to be extremely careful to provide the right messages about her profession to her children in order to model appropriate behavior and reasoning that aids in good decision-making skills. Many children are faced with the threat of being removed from the home, especially if an escort gets in trouble with the law. If they are removed, other family members must take on additional, unexpected responsibility, or children go to a foster home, where they are subjected to different standards and potentially more problems. They face being estranged from their parent(s) and leading a messed up life forever. However, not every child of an escort experiences negative impacts. Some get to grow up with a better standard of living than they would if their mothers didn’t work as an escort. Their quality of life is improved through being able to afford nicer things (which help to fit in), living in a better neighborhood or more comfortable home and getting to take advantage of opportunities such as better schools, more activities and extra-curricular lessons (such as music, sports or science training). Many escorts schedule their work around their families, so they are able to spend more time with their children, which has immeasurable positive effects on them. Clients’ children may be pitied or subjects of gossip if word gets out that their fathers have visited with escorts. Even if they don’t understand what everyone is talking about, this can have significant impact with how they see themselves, causing them to avoid school and other activities.
- Employers experience impacts related to the escort industry, too. Stories are all too common about employers who are quick to judge and discharge workers when they discover they are involved in the escort profession. Their reasons range from inappropriate conduct and dress to failure to provide a good company image. Sometimes, they don’t give any justification at all, which is legal in many at-will employment states. Often, employers are simply uncomfortable with the fact they have an employee on staff who charges men for her companionship… and anything else they feel that implies. If an escort is looking for a job, and her former career is revealed, she usually finds it incredibly difficult to acquire a position with any clout to it. Fast foods may be an option, but many managers who run conservative, professional corporations refuse to hire who they may consider a dirty escort. Afraid of the ramifications if the escort’s secret gets out, they just won’t do it. Additionally, a client who gets caught seeing an escort may lose his job, too. Allegations of damaging the corporate reputation and image (especially if the story gets leaked to the press), failure to maintain a good work ethic (when corporate time and equipment were used to contact and visit the escort) and disobedience of rules governing the ethics code may result in immediate discharge. An employer may be drug into a law enforcement investigation, if the employee left traces of his communications with an escort on company laptops, phones or other equipment.
- Landlords who rent or lease to escorts may experience effects of her career, too. Individuals who knowingly allow for a property to be used for the promotion of prostitution can be arrested and charged with misdemeanors and felonies. Landlords who rent to escorts who are arrested for prostitution may be investigated by law enforcement. While most are found to be not involved, it’s still stress-inducing, time-consuming and embarrassing. Many landlords will have personal beliefs that do not coincide with the escort lifestyle and profession, so they have serious issues about how their properties are used when they discover their renters’ secrets. Some owners of upscale buildings have certain guidelines and policies that deter escort-like activities from occurring, and when they discover an escort has disobeyed their rules they issue an eviction notice immediately. Additionally, some landlords (rarely) find that their properties become crime scenes when a client attacks an escort. However, most property owners have excellent experiences when they rent to escorts. In fact, they enjoy always getting their rent on time and in full, in addition to knowing that their properties are well cared for. Escorts wish to live in luxurious places, so they tend to decorate well and take extra care to keep their residences tidy and clean. If they use their homes for incalls, they want to present the best images they can to clients, so they maintain their residences well.
- An escort’s neighbors can be affected by an escort’s profession. Most of the time, an escort worries that her nosey neighbors are going to find out what she’s doing by having clients coming and going from her home at irregular times throughout the day or night. However, what she might not be realizing is that she is creating the very reasons they are nosey about her in the first place. Your neighbors aren’t always oblivious to what you do in your own home, and when you realize this, it’s easier to get past their nosiness by trying not to appear suspicious. Using a good cover story about people coming and going at your place can help reduce the curiosity around your residence. However, some neighbors will still feel uneasy and uncomfortable, especially if they discover your real secret. Some will be totally open-minded about your career. Others, though, may report you to the law every chance they get. Many will fear the type of sketchy people you are bringing into the neighborhood, automatically suspecting that your clientele are questionable types. And, clients may disrupt and bother your neighbors if they fail to practice discretion (by being loud in the hallway or using the wrong entrance). Confused clients may even end up ringing your client’s doorbell instead of yours, which is sure to disturb them.
- Financial institutions that you use may incur impacts as a result of your profession. Most banks are unaccustomed to patrons who typically deposit only cash income. They are usually uneasy about such customers, automatically suspecting some sort of illegal doings or happenings. However, they will continue to take your business, especially when you have regular, sizable deposits and continue to be a problem-free client. Once in awhile, though, an escort will cause them difficulties by acquiring your financial records to conduct an investigation on you. They may require the bank to freeze your assets and take control of your account. Most banking entities don’t want to be involved in scandals or investigations.
- Technology companies such as Internet providers, website production companies or mobile phone corporations may experience effects of your escorting career. Again, if directed by law enforcement, they may be required to perform actions on your accounts and hand over records associated with the transactions they’ve been involved with while you’ve been a client/customer. From phone records to information on your website to your real identity, these companies are required by law to give out details about you that most escorts hope are kept hidden. In addition to law enforcement disturbance, some of these companies must police your activity, themselves, because they refuse to be involved in adult-oriented activities or businesses. They may deactivate your account or cancel your website. Conversely, some companies expand their businesses after learning about the niche required by the escort industry. Website creators may discover they have a knack for putting together simple sites for escorts, gaining them additional business and clientele. Many of them, though, have to consider their personal beliefs before expanding their service lines.
- An escort’s accountant is often put into a difficult position as a result of her profession. Obligated to exercise extreme discretion on behalf of his client, he is also committed to upholding his personal beliefs and required by law to only perform activities he believes are legal. Depending on the actions you want him to take regarding your business, he may be torn between his professionalism and his loyalty to you as a client. Also, accountants are pressured heavily during an investigation by law enforcement to come forward with any other details that will help them. If you discuss your career in depth with him, he may inadvertently reveal information about your work that you don’t want him to. He may feel responsible for any trouble you get into, as well, as a residual result. As an accountant attempts to make an escort’s records look legitimate, he may also work to create reasonable excuses for withdrawals by your clients when he works for them. Establishing logical labels for money spent on an escort is a difficult task for an accountant, who is trying to hide a client’s misdeeds and infidelity.
- An escort’s friends or colleagues may be tempted to expand their own horizons. Even though a friendship may be tested by the realization that one is an escort, it may also bond you even more when your friend throws her hat into the escort ring. Having never considered the career previously, a friend may discover that she has a knack for the industry, changing her life for the better forever. She may establish financial independence and stability that she never had before, all the while also obtaining increased confidence and self-esteem.
- Society may also be impacted by you. If you’re an escort who has established a good rapport with others around you, while also gaining the respect of those you meet, you could positively affect their opinions of the escort industry, as a whole. If/when your secret comes out about your true profession, people may be forced to reconsider their beliefs about escorting. When they once thought that escorts were only prostitutes in nice clothing, they may question that concept. They may not believe that all escorts are drug-addicted whores, any longer, realizing that women who escort are not all as morally reprehensible as they thought they must be. In their eyes, you may alter their acceptance of the stereotype and help them discover that escorts are just like them… human.