Keeping your working life as an escort private is a matter of choice. Some girls don’t care, others think their privacy is a matter of utmost importance.
What most escorts will agree on is that their privacy should be their decision.
by Hannah Jay
The suggestions below are all at a girl’s discretion. Make those which are right for you but remember, if you don’t make them someone else can and, very likely, will.
Who are you?
You are your name. Your are your social security number. Your picture. Your address. Your phone number. Your driver’s license. Facebook page. Web page. Social media profile. Grad picture. Mug shot and every picture you have ever posted on the internet.
You are also socially constructed. You are your parents’ child. Your children’s mother. Your husband’s wife. Your grandmother’s confirmation Queen. Your high school’s valedictorian and your Prom date’s sweetest memory. You have people you know from your neighbourhood, from work, from that club you went to last Saturday.
Which adds up to the fact that you are what other people know or can find out about you. Escorting is a choice you are making. You have a past which cannot be changed, only hidden; a present which you can control; and a future which your choices shape.
An escort looks for clients. Usually by advertising. That is a choice. But who reads her ad is not her choice; instead, by advertising in the internet age an escort is making a version of herself public. While your grandmother probably doesn’t frequent Skipthegames.com, your grade nine teacher might.
More to the point, Google’s busy little spiders are recording each escort ad. Indexing them and storing them – along with accompanying pictures – in the searchable world. Suddenly your audience is worldwide, and when someone types in “girl next door in LA“, there you are!
Again, very much an escort’s choice. But if you use your real name and an identifiable photograph, you will be found and all your escort advertising promises are there, too. Probably not tracks you want to leave.
Even if you don’t care now, you may care later. Remember, the Internet never forgets. And, as importantly, while you may not care now, your family, friends and business associates may not be quite so blase.
So using your real name while escorting is unwise. So is using an identity which is linked to your real name. Your granny, if no one else, remembers your middle name.
Your escorting clients don’t care. They want a name, but if Debbie Smith becomes “Blaze Comet” they will still get in touch.
First Rule of Privacy
Your escort name should have nothing to do with your real name or, for that matter, normal names at all. The old joke about “porn star names” being about actions is not a bad guide.
A simple first name, Amber, Tracy, Tami, Katie and such like combined with an action, attribute, or noun: Fall, Wren, Grace, Robin, Knight, Slide, Strict, Found, Dash creates a full name which has nothing to do with your actual identity. It is an escort brand and can be promoted. (Generally, I’d avoid the coarser actions or attributes – Annie Anal is going to be a one trick pony.)
The key thing is for your escort name to be comfortable for you. In particular, pick a first name which you will find easy to respond to.
You’ve got a Name… Now what?
Time for Technology
First a phone. The fact is that if you want a contract you need ID and the phone ends up in your real name. Yes, that can be traced. But not easily. Barring a Court Order or a friend at the phone company or at NSA, phone contracts are not public records.
Getting a smartphone – Android is cheaper – will make your escort life a lot simpler because a Smartphone can become your work computer. You can check your email, text clients, keep contacts all in one place.
Go for an unlisted number and dedicate the phone to your escort business. No personal calls, ever. Yes, it is a bit expensive to run two phones, but it is simply a cost of doing business.
Next an email account. I recommend Google simply because it opens up a variety of promotional opportunities.
Set your email and your phone up with only your working escort name and number. Set a distinct ringtone and remember to turn the phone off when you are visiting your parents, grandmothers or straight-laced best friends.
As it happens, courts in the US have ruled that the police can search a Smartphone during the course of an arrest. Which means if you are arrested – for anything – the whole contents of your escort smartphone is potentially up for grabs.
Be smart. Password protect the phone to prevent a casual browse through by your friends, parents, or your local police officer.
Be smarter. As well as passwording your phone’s screen, you can encrypt your entire escort phone. Both Android and Apple phones allow you to encrypt the phone’s contents. Yes, it is a pain to have to enter two passwords but compared to having your privacy destroyed because you left your escort phone somewhere you shouldn’t have, it is a small price to pay.
The biggest enemy of your privacy is yourself.
Simply carrying two cell phones is a “tell” for an observant friend. But not having a great cover story is even worse.
A cover story needs to be simple and it needs to be broad enough to give you something easy to say when your escort phone rings. You may have to break off a date for an escort “appointment” or your friends may notice you have more money than would otherwise make sense. Support your cover story by avoiding having to use it more than is absolutely necessary. Most of the people in your life are never going to check out what you tell them unless there is some reason to doubt what you are saying. Keeping things simple is a great way to avoid the mistakes which arouse curiosity.
You are never going to be able to explain a $5000 a week lifestyle if you are officially a student. Being “unavailable” for hours at a time while you attend to an escort appointment also may ring the curiosity bells. A little bit of the truth may be your friend. Being an “on call, online, personal assistant” can explain absences and a good deal of money. So will actually having an actual business as a downsizing consultant or Kindle Romance writer. The point of the cover story is to have it ready to cover all the issues which may come up as you escort.
Your Privacy with Clients
Most escorts’ clients are not very curious. At least not the first time you see them. The traditional, “How did a nice girl like you get into a business like this?” question is easy to answer –“Well, money and I love the hours.” – will shut down the punter. But the great trade off for the safety and predictability of an escort’s regulars is they will get to know you a bit. There is nothing wrong with that; but once in a while an escort client can turn into a stalker or just a guy who wants more than you are in the business of giving.
The big difference between an escort’s curious regular and the general public is that he knows what you do and where you do it. Now, if all you do are outcalls the “where” is useless to him. However, if you escort from an dedicated apartment or your own home some basic privacy moves are key.
First, again, a cover story. And there is no reason not to use the same cover story. If your escort client tries to run it down he’ll hit the same wall which defeats your friends and family if it is a pure fake. If you really do have a day job you can use it for cover but simply refuse to give the curious escort client any details.
Keep your work environment – even if it is your own home – absolutely devoid of personal items – pictures, phone numbers, a computer, medicines in your bathroom cupboard – all give a casual observer too much information.
Set Hard Limits
Just because an escort client is buying your time he does not have any right to pry into your life. And you have no obligation to discuss your life.
Hard limits are set quite easily if you are prepared. If a escort client asks you about something you are uncomfortable discussing you can gracefully say, “Oh I never discuss my family, (boyfriend, work, city of origin, high school…et al).’ If he pushes, the push back is straightforward, “No, I really don’t discuss that sort of thing. I value my privacy as I am sure you value yours.” End of discussion. Be friendly but firm. The threat is not particularly subtle but it reminds your escort client that he has a reputation to consider as well.
Have Plan B
Scenarios: You are out for a dinner with pleasure to follow with a client old enough to be your father and you run into your actual father. Or your client shows up and he actually is Mr. Green, that nice Grade 9 teacher, who is still teaching your youngest sibling. Or you forget to turn off your escort phone, go to the washroom and your best friend answers a work call.
Cover blown? Not if you have Plan B. And the key thing about Plan B is it is different, but the same in every awkward circumstance. Assess, relax, divert and, most importantly, don’t even think of explaining.
Running into your father when you are escorting is nothing more than a socially awkward moment. You have been caught in a not very compromising position with a date your father would probably prefer you were not seeing. Your escort date is, no doubt, none too delighted to be meeting the father of his dark desire. “Hi Daddy. This is Mr. Jefferies whose online marketing I’ve been doing, Mr. Jefferies this is my father, Mr. Jones.”
The reality is that if you are out in public with an escort date you should be entirely prepared to run into anyone from your father to your date’s wife. Which means that on the way to the restaurant you will take a moment to set up the “story”. “So if we run into anyone either of us know, I am your online assistant and you are Mr. Jeffries my boss.” And you’re done.
Having Mr. Green, your grade nine teacher, show up at your door for an escort encounter is more of an unexpected problem. He will be just as embarrassed as you are but, unlike you, he will not likely have a Plan B. Your choice is straightforward – have the date and count on Mr. Green having more to lose by even mentioning it; or deciding not to have the date, in which case Mr. Green, to his relief, needs to know that he has arrived at the wrong house. “April Wren? Who is April Wren Mr. Green? I’ve never heard of her. But it is lovely to see you again.” Mr. Green will never know and if he suspects he’ll be relieved that his reputation remains unsullied. This is especially true if it is 11:30 at night and Mr. Green has had a couple more drinks than he should have.
The errant phone call to your escort phone answered by your gal pal should, in fact, take care of itself. If the caller is looking for “April Wren” your girlfriend will, reasonably enough, tell him he has the wrong number. If he calls back he’ll get the same response. Any questions from your gal pal can be met with anything from “Some drunk” to “I don’t know, some girl had this number before I did. I keep getting these strange calls.”
No matter what the circumstance, an escort needs a solid Plan B.
Confidentiality and Discretion
Ultimately, what an escort is selling is a private matter between consenting adults. Just as her clients have an expectation of discretion, she has an expectation of privacy. By treating her business as confidential, she creates a private, intimate, space.
At the same time, it is vital for an escort to take responsibility for keeping her business life separate from the rest of her life. Privacy is service an escort gives her clients and a gift an escort gives herself.